I cant get my 4 yr old to stop pooping in her panties?

Melissa - posted on 01/05/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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She will potty on the toilet, but she refuses to poop, she says she is afraid too. I have tried every form of bribery. I tell her she cant go to school if she doesnt start, and she tells me she does it so she wont have to go to school.. she wants to stay home with mommy, and is worried about the other kids in her school.

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Melissa - posted on 01/06/2009

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Thanks for the advice, I am about at my wits end with this. I am gonna try making her clean them herself, it couldnt hurt.. Ill let you know how it goes..

Catherine - posted on 01/05/2009

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You could also place a small amount of toilet paper in the toilet first to reduce the splashing of the water. This is what I did for my daughter as she didn't like her bum getting wet.

Andrea - posted on 01/05/2009

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My son did the same thing. He had no problem making it to the toilet to pee but would still hide when he needed to poop (in his underpants). His reason for not wanting to use the potty was that his older cousin was still completely in diapers. He wanted to know why he had to use the potty if his cousin didn't. I told him he didn't and that he would be in charge of where and when he went potty. However, he would not get to wear underpants at all, until he started using the potty all the time. After two weeks of diapers he decided he was ready to make the switch back and has been doing great ever since. He is a first born and very stubborn. But no matter what reasons or bribery I tried, ultimately, he wanted/needed to be in control. Hope this helps.

Lynn - posted on 01/05/2009

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I know this may sound mean, but when I had the same problem with my daughter I tried a few diferent things but wasn't getting results...in the end I decided to stop making a fuss about it and the next time she pooped in her panties I told her that if she didn't want to poop in the toilet then she was going to have to give me back her panties and wear diapers again...(she had been wearing panties for about a week and I still had a few of her old diapers) the minute she seen me take a diaper off the shelf she started getting really upset and told me she was a big girl....I made her clean herself and I asked her again if she wanted to wear panties or diapers, needless to say, she picked panties. Having to wear diapers again was not an option she wanted. As to her wanting to stay home with you, I would suggest that you take your daughter to a group activity such as a Talk with me group or such. This will enable her to be around other children and her mommy with her. She will also see how much fun it can be to have friends her own age.

Aunt Bev - posted on 01/05/2009

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Let them stay in it! They won't like that much, and will eventually discover that if they use the potty, they won't be so uncomfortable. Make sure you use large pull-ups though, with panties over them. They will eventually get the potty thing. It's just a patience game, and when they do go in the bathroom, throw a party. Have hats and blowers, and a prize to reward. Dollar Tree is great for these affordable parties. Good luck.



Aunt Bev

Smokey - posted on 01/05/2009

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My mother tells me that she bought me a pair of rhumba panties -- you know, the ones with all the ruffles in the back - and made a big deal out of giving them to me. She says I trained myself so I wouldn't ruin them -- but your problem may not be so simple. I think, at 4, I would not speak of it any more - but when the 'accidents' happen, I would matter of factly tell her that she is old enough to clean up after herself. Then have her do it. Stop nagging about it altogether. Just tell her she's such a big girl she can take care of herself.



As for school - if she makes a good friend (4 year olds love to make friends!) school will be easier.

Kelly - posted on 01/05/2009

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Sometimes it hurts them and sometimes I have found with the kids I worked with in Child Care they don't like the " Splash " If she has her own potty you guys can go together. When she realizes her friends at school are doing it she might want to join in on the fun. Somethings kids like while doing their business are books and Magazines or music.

Rebecca - posted on 01/05/2009

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I used this with my twins, and my mother used it with me; my sister in law used it with my niece too -- it only takes a couple of times. When she poops in her pants, make her clean them out in the toilet. Peeing on the toilet says she knows what to do - she just needs to realize the pooping in the toilet beats the alternative. Good Luck.

Barbara - posted on 01/05/2009

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Do you have a potty chair? Try putting it in her room and letting her use that.

Melissa - posted on 01/05/2009

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I understand that, but this has been going on for a long time now, when will she get over this. I never had this much trouble with my first daughter...It is just frustrating, I know she can do it, she has in the past, but now she just refuses to go to the bathroom, and just uses her panties.

Barbara - posted on 01/05/2009

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Don't make an issue of it. Sometimes it's a control issue. It is one area where she is in control.

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