I caught my ten year old watching porn.

Sherri - posted on 09/08/2011

What is a 10yr old doing with a laptop in the first place?? Never have my children done anything inappropriate on the computer because we only have one and it is in the livingroom where everybody is constantly walking by looking etc.



@Joyce this is not normal behavior under any circumstances. I have a 14 & 13yr old boys who wouldn't even have the slightest clue to do something like this. Not sure where you live where this is considered normal but it certainly isn't here.

Shanna - posted on 09/08/2011

It is disheartening to hear so many people say ban the computer or even its controlled-private use. What happened to having some type of trust in the kiddo to follow instructions on which we give?! No free reign, again I have mentioned use of filters, but personal use doesnt seem unreasonable. This is like Farenheit 451... (okay well, yes, before it is pointed out I know we are speaking of children here). Same idea nonetheless, instead of banning its use (personal or otherwise) let's teach proper use. That should apply across most fields of parenting... seeing the sexed up media/entertainment/PEER play it is inevitable, but teaching proper context seems to be key.

Tracy - posted on 09/08/2011

omg that's awful and so very scary that our children have such easy access to such filth!!! Tell her she cannot use the computer in her room. Put a desk out in one of the living areas or the kitchen and tell her this is where she is to do all of her homework and studying on the computer. Putting a lock on such sites would also help I'm guessing

Shanna - posted on 09/08/2011

Really Jane, and it was private school which is why they could demand such a thing. However, I see that even in preschools nowadays they have gigglebyte programs and computer programing for 4-5th graders. I dont believe this idea is ridiculous to have a computer, and in fact support the use of learning how to operate/navigate the internet to find information for reports or other school assignments. Am I saying hey get a myspace and facebook and other social sites on there heck no, but I am totally in favor of personal lap top usage, and I know many pediatricians who would not disagree and even suppost such usage.

Natalie - posted on 09/08/2011

It sounds like she is curious about sex, and you. Should have a talk with her about it. I haven't had the issue with a child, but if she knows she can come to you if she has questions she can come to you she won't go looking for it elsewhere. Kids talk about that sort of thing at that age in elementary school fortuntely, so thats what i would do. But she is your daughter its up to you.

Sreekala - posted on 09/08/2011

Gnome Nanny is one parental control for Linux. I also found Dansguardian,Censornet etc on google search. May be this link will help http://www.linuxquestions.org/questions/...
HTH

Heather - posted on 09/08/2011

Don't allow this! Do whatever you have to to block this stuff and keep it out of your house. It will mess up her life!

Sherrald - posted on 09/08/2011

put a parent lock on it.password it should do

Claudia - posted on 09/08/2011

BSecure and Covenant Eyes are parental control that can be download to phones.

Claudia - posted on 09/08/2011

With TV and computer is geting harder to prevent this kind of problem. My church recomended a BSecure.com a software that not only let you keep your computer from opening these site, also let you know anytime someone tries to do it. You can also download to IPhones with Verizon. About your child, maybe talking to her and try to undestand what cauded the curiosity. In My home my TV blocks anything that is over PG13. And even PG 13 have light sexual content. The more she is exposed, more curious she will be.

Liz - posted on 09/08/2011

I am a mother of 5, 3 girls, 2 boys. 4 are in college now and we have our 13 year old boy still at home. We raised them all on one family computer. I'm not saying it was perfect and that we didn't have problems from time to time because we did but I think we minimized them by doing this. My point is, just have a new set of rules with the computer. It's only to be used in this part of the house, at this time, when these people are around.... Good luck guys!!!

Alexandra - posted on 09/08/2011

Hi, my son peeped at it when he was 7 and showed my daughter 4....I had a talk with him and told him that older people did this when they loved each other, and only older people. He knew of the word "sex", and I explained that it is not like in the photos, and that these photos were taken by bad people giving alcohol and drugs to them to do this, and that it is illegal. I also told him that I can monitor the sites he goes to, and that seemed to stop him. He's now 8 and there are no issues with this at all. I hope I did the right thing!!!

S - posted on 09/08/2011

Im Steph's Husband, Ive read through the post and most hold some fantastic and helpful advice to a worried set of parents over the well being of our daughter. I would like to thank those people personally. I cant put parental controls on her computer as none of them work on a linux based system. In regard to some of the more "direct" comments on this thread you will find that most mobile phone, which a lot of children now have, can also access images which are unsuitable for children. I was asking for advice from other parents and to see if others had dealt with this issue. I have removed the computer from her but i feel this is a knee jerk reaction to the issue and not a solution.

Donna - posted on 09/08/2011

I don't want this to sound "judgey", but your child shouldn't have unsupervised access to the internet, period. Yes, have a talk, and then put some parental controls on that thing. Also, this is the least of the bad things that can happen when a child has this kind of access. Thank God you didn't find her chatting with a kid who turned out to be some perverted adult.

Sreekala - posted on 09/08/2011

Pls do have a good talk on sex with your kid. But more importantly set up parental controls on all your computers. Aol Parental controls are good and free and make sure your userid password is not something she will know or can find out easily.Goodluck!

Patty - posted on 09/08/2011

Please remember to help her know this is not a healthy way of looking to learn about sex. Parental controls are great for computer at home but they will be exposed at school and friends house so help her to understand that it is not an appropriate action to view porn. Help her to keep are self esteem in tact. Answer her question as honest and fair as you can telling her what appropriate sex is all about. Good luck! Say a little prayer for guidance.

Liz - posted on 09/08/2011

Ok LONGHORN ladies, I'm a SOONER through and through but it's so nice to see we agree on our morals and values!! it's definitely time for sex talks, more monitoring, parental controls and she does need to know porn's not reality... Do not agree w/the ladies who want to watch it w/their kids at all. I believe sex is a private, beautiful, and natural experience to be shared w/one you love- not an audience.....

Jane - posted on 09/08/2011

@Shanna - "heck my child's school required personal laptops for each child 1st grade and above." Really?! Since laptops start at $400 and go up, how does the school require this? Not all families can afford it.

And you can learn technology just fine on a shared family computer, or even a computer in the school or public library. It doesn't have to be on a personal laptop.

Kathryn - posted on 09/08/2011

I have an slightly different angle.... the insane amount of sexualization of girls and women. This problem is far beyond porn. Girls are taught more than ever they should dress sexy and do sexual things to be liked. It's amazing the things boys expect girls to do at a very young age. Girls are learning the more the more they show and the more they give the more attention they will get. But from who? Not the boys or young men we want them to be with. No wonder these young girls have such insecurities and the media supports it all over the place. Let's hope your daughter didn't get the idea from boys. And pray to God she wasn't watching to get ideas for what she should do or learn to do with boys to be "liked". It's terribly sad the false messages our society is telling young women and they are paying a huge price as they enter adolescence and adulthood. Girls should be taught they are VALUABLE and their bodies and sexuality are a precious GIFT. Virginity is somethiong you can only give once so protect it! Attention and confidence should come from other things...academics, sports, music, art, serving a good cause, etc.. Last but not least...over 55% of porn is created by women and children forced to do it. Human Trafficing is alive and well....

Allison - posted on 09/08/2011

Absolutely normal for a 10 year old? That is NUTS. I have a degree in psychology and every study indicates this is very harmful for children.
I feel sorry for little kids who lose their innocence so early and need to make sense of these types of images, somehow integrate them into their lives. Good luck...

Julie - posted on 09/08/2011

Why does your 10 year old daughter have her own laptop? I have a 19 year old that doesn't have her own laptop and she's in college. She uses the family computer that is a desktop computer and its in the livingroom where she can be watched about where she goes. I would never dream of giving my ten year old a computer. You might also want to set up parental controls on her computer.

Melissa - posted on 09/08/2011

my 10 yo dosent HAVe a laptop. he can only be on a computer fully supervised. and those comps belong to hubbie and me. my older 2 children never had access either unless they sat here in the front livingroom in front of everybody. many specialists believe kids should NOT have private access to the internet, not if you want to protect them both from porn or predators.

Joyce - posted on 09/08/2011

Absolutely normal for curious 10 year olds. For my daughter, after I calmed down, I asked her if we could discuss it. I said it made me worry because images on the internet of sex may not show real activities. Just like the Harry Potter movies can show pictures with special effects, sex pictures can enhanced or an adult joke. I said I don't want her to be scared or confused by what she saw. Asked would she like to look at them together, so I could explain or would she me to get a book with pictures that are accurate? Did she have questions?

Remember she mostly like stumbled across the images when looking for a favorite song or music video. However once she saw them she was curious.

Shanna - posted on 09/08/2011

Not trying to beat a dead horse, but as many have said conversation is crucial. It is only natural to be curious, and that is where parents play their biggest roles. Btw, I have net nanny and it is a pretty good filter for information, but don't falsely believe that conversation will stifle all curiosity...

As far as lap top usage at age 10 and under I think it is unreasonable to expect less, heck my child's school required personal laptops for each child 1st grade and above. It sounds reasonable to learn the technology early considering the vast amount of information right at the fingertips of today.

Alison - posted on 09/08/2011

I agree that it is totally normal to be curious, but a bad idea to let her watch porn. I think you can explain to her why it can be so detrimental. Then apply the other advice (computers in open places with K9 protection).
Good luck! (I am dreading this phase!!!)

Kristy - posted on 09/08/2011

I use NetNanny software on all three of my kids laptops. You can restrict content, ratings and put time blocks on the computer. The software let's you select times when the computer is operable or set a time limit for use. Although this helps it is not enough.

I agree that you have to talk to your daughter. That's key and constant.

Stifler's - posted on 09/08/2011

I would definitely talk to her about how unrealistic porn is and that the people in the pictures and movies are acting not having sex with someone they like.

Jane - posted on 09/07/2011

Time for more supervision and the implementation of parental controls.

We had one family computer in the center of the action until my kids hit high school and started needing to do homework on the computer all the time. My daughter's teachers had a huge love for requiring her to present PowerPoint slide shows by hooking up her laptop to the school projector instead of bringing in a RW CD or thumb drive or even emailing it to the teacher.

Then they earned their laptops. Even so I put parental controls on the devices and I talked to each of them about what is and isn't appropriate. I also advised them that I would be checking their history and caches periodically.

No one NEEDS a laptop at age 10.

Holly - posted on 09/07/2011

I really don't think its appropriate for a 10 year old to have a laptop...but to each his own...supervision and the sex talk a little early is something I would do...Good Luck! :)

Angela - posted on 09/07/2011

I have 5 boys at home and I monitor everything they do on the internet, phone and etc but I caught my 11yr old looking at stuff on YouTube with his friends and they were on his friends phone. I was upset with him and I explained to him that its wasnt right for a kid to see things like that but kids minds are so curious and we as parents can't was stop them from seeing those things or looking it up cause the are kids entering puberty. All we can do is monitor the best we can and explain things to them the right way and before their friends explain it to them the wrong way. We are not perfect and things happen so just take a step back, take a deep breath and open your mind and remember you were a kid once too and then talk... :)

Aurora - posted on 09/07/2011

Supervision is key..although if they are curious about something they will find a way to find what they are looking for..with that said, i have a 13 yr old daughter and 9yr old son who i have always been very open and honest with because of the fact that these days kids know more than us parents give them credit for, last year my son came home from school then 3rd grader and told me a lil girl in his class told him to search online for sex videos... My jaw dropped to the foor after he told me but i was glad that he came to me! Sometimes its a case of misspelling a word and a picture might have caught their eye and well we all know curiousity killed the cat right? But it can also be that someone else was searching for porn on her laptop so it popped up that way..if you are going to allow your child to have a laptop you should monitor it very carefully. Maybe search thru the history. I hope you find that it was the first time she searched it...in my case it was a friend at school and i got lucky that he didnt search before talking to me.
If it wasnt a mistake in spelling or someone else searching and her accidentally coming upon it thru pop ups then you should find out who gave her the idea!!!
Not easy but if your the one to be honest with her now she might just return the favor and do the same in the future!

Mary - posted on 09/07/2011

i think you better find out who, what where and why she was even on porn. most 10yr old girls don't just go to porn you can take away her computer but some where she has these ideas in her head. talk to your daughter and find out what made her go to it in the first place. and curiousity?, what she punched in people having sex? why? in this day and age we gotta be on top of stuff, big time

Alexandra - posted on 09/07/2011

talk and supervision are a must. And you should understand if this was a mistake (something popped up) or she was searching for it on purpose. internet security is also a must, i think. I would make sex feel like a real natural thing, but not now, way later in the future.

Sandra - posted on 09/07/2011

Do not permit the use of the laptop in any room other than the one you are in and only where you can see the screen at all times.

Rachael - posted on 09/07/2011

Have a sex talk. Get an age appropriate book about anatomy. The one I got for my kids is called "Boys, Girls & Body Science: A First Book about Facts of Life" by Meg Hickling, Kim La Fave. I thought it was very age appropriate for a 8-10 year old.

Talk about your personal beliefs about sex and how what she saw wasn't realistic. Encourage questions. Don't be afraid to talk to her, it will make her uncomfortable, be open and honest. I have a sex talk with each of my kids when they turn 8. We talk about how sexual relationships are so special because that’s how you create families and babies. We talk about how sex isn’t bad, but timing is important. And how sex is really a huge responsibility. What could happen if you have sex, and what are the consequences. We talk about pornography and how those are actors and what they are doing doesn’t really portray what sex really is. If she gets her answers from you, she won’t have to seek them in other places. My kids haven't been afraid to come to my husband and I with their questions, and it’s easy to bring it up when we see something in a movie or on TV we can just talk about it frankly and discuss it together.

Also, keep the computer in the main room of the house. Ours in on a desk in the kitchen, and we don't have laptops. Too portable, I want the computer to be a pain to move. Good Luck I’m sure you’ll do fine.

Tina - posted on 09/07/2011

Get Internet Controls on her machine for starters - my 3 Year Old was playing a game on my phone the other day and accidentally clicked on the add field and up popped semi nude women...WTF! So consider that she stumbled on it by accident and then curiosity got the better of her. I would def. have a chat and ask her how she feels about what she has seen. Never to early to talk about the birds and bees too!

Brianna - posted on 09/07/2011

put the internet parental controls on it wont let u go to porn sites. also think u need to have another sex talk.

Catherine - posted on 09/07/2011

I agree w/ many of the posters on here...definetely not unsupervised. My daughter is 8, and I have found her doing what I believe is masterbating in the living room...I have told her that is for her bedroom only, so as not to put a negative spin on it. I'm not quite sure how to go about that talk, so I too give you kudos for doing so already. This world does our children no favors as far as seeing LOTS of sexual behaviors way too early on. Parenting is rough these days...but it sound like you're doing a great job since you're on top of what your child is doing...keep up the great work!!!

Roxann - posted on 09/07/2011

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/?vm=r

I highly recommend this web protection. I have used it for 5 years. I love it. Its password protected. This keeps your child from going to sites that are not appropriate. It will block lingerie and swim suit sites as well. (you get to choose the filter type) Don’t forget pop ups. It also makes you enter a password for "Image" searches, which is a must. You should never let your child search images without you next to them. Don’t put this off and don’t think that your child is too young for it.

JuLeah - posted on 09/07/2011

You make a fine point: Never!!!! allow unsupervised access to the net



Computers are in public places with someone always watching ... so, in the kitchen maybe, or the living room



I'd say she did this for the same reason I picked up and looked through my father's play boy he believed were well hidden - cause it is what kids do



But, no one on the pages I was looking at had the ability to talk back to me, or communicate with me as they do on the net



So, have open honest conversation with her - get her better pictures to look at from the library - human body - changes as we grow ... that is what she is looking for I am sure ...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/07/2011

Kudos to you for having the masturbating talk. That is a tough one. My kids are 5 and 17 months. Not looking foward to that.

S - posted on 09/07/2011

I think not letting her ave the computer alone is a good idea =) x Ive already discussed mastebation with her a few months ago, omg they grow up so quick ! =(♥ freaks me out a little ! definatly need some parental controls I think x just made me feel really bad =( x Porn is definatly not what I want to teachher the world of sex is like!! hate the internet for being so free to share such trash !! specially so easily searched for and veiwed I was so shocked !

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/07/2011

Hmm/...think it is time for the sex talk. Obviously talk very frankly about what she saw. I would not even try to really address that specifically. But have you talked about puberty and sex already? If not, get on it! Also, no access to comp unless in it a community room. You may have to put on some heavy duty parental controls.

You may want to consider talking about masturbation also.

Beautiful - posted on 09/07/2011

My son is 9, I would freak if I caught that. Curiosity is natural, and kids these days grow so fast (id like to know where they even got the idea to look it up). My son is not allowed his own personal computer, the desk top and lap top stay in the livingroom, he has to ask to use either one and we are always in the room when he does use it. I dont want him learning anything about sex from porn. He does have internet access from his Wii though, but he is hardly ever in his room so he doesnt use the Wii too offten.

Honestly Im not sure I would handle that, again curiosity is natural, I know id do my best to try not to make them feel bad for being curious, id explain that its nothing for kids to watch...