I dont see the problem

Heather - posted on 02/12/2011 ( 234 moms have responded )

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My neighbor stopped by the other day to drop off some mail for my husband that had accidently been put in her mail box. I was feeding my son a snack at the time and she wanted to see him. My son is 8 months old and at snack time he gets some jucie in a sippy cup. As she walked in the kitchen the first thing she said was "whats with the cup" i asked what do you mean and she replied. " its pink with a yellow lid and your son is a boy thats the colors for a girl" i said so. she continued to say that i was gonna confuse him by giving him girl things and that he will grow up confused and want to be a girl. I told her i didnt see a problem and the reason for the cup is because the only sippys my son will use is the take and toss brand. They come in a four pack and are all different colors. Im not gonna throw away a cup because its pink. I think it is just a cup and it doesnt matter the color. Girls drink from blue cups and noone cares. Its not like i put him in dresses and bonnets. He plays with cars and has only i guess what you would say are boy toys.....so am I wrong or is it just a cup and the color doesnt matter?...........



Just wanted to add a little something...yesterday after posting this I came across my sons bumbo seat and guess what? Its purple. I had forgotten about it as he out grew it and I put it away.. I got it for $8 as opposed to paying $40 for a blue one...I was half tempted to call my neighbor over and have my son sitting in his purple bumbo just to get a rise out of her but I didnt and now I just laugh when ever my son uses something pink or purple. Some people.

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Kate CP - posted on 02/12/2011

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A) He's 8 months old so I don't think he cares
B) It's just a cup
C) She's a homophobe
D) Who cares
E) It's none of her business.

Tara - posted on 02/12/2011

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I would say she is in the wrong. Children don't understand gender issues unless someone makes them up until a certain point, then they start identifying themselves with their own gender. If you really want to get technical about it, pink used to be for boys and blue for girls (it was felt that pink was a version of red, which was considered masculine).
Even if your son wanted to play with dolls or play dress up, that doesn't mean he will grow up to be gay. I really believe that you are born gay or you aren't, and drinking from a pink cup is absolutely not going to "turn someone gay". Your neighbor definitely has some issues with that whole topic.

Medic - posted on 02/12/2011

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Oh wow.....she really should not come to my house then. I think she has issues one way or the other that she needs to deal with before she tries to push bigoted ideas on others. My 4 year old ALL BOY takes tap and ballet, he is also an amazing soccer player, who happens to eat off of pink and purple dishes and drink out of pink and purple cups some times because I AM NOT DIGGING THREW ALL THEIR DISHES FOR ONE COLOR. My one year old daughter also drinks and eats of those same dishes that are also blue yellow and orange. She happens to play with my sons cars and he plays with her dolls and they share a full kitchen set....that has-gasp- a pink tea set. Forcing kids to fit in a nice little square mold is what gives them issues. I am glad I have a caring sensitive boy and I really don't chalk that up to the pink or purple dishes he sometimes uses. ....PS his favorite bottle as a baby was purple, or maybe thats just always the one that was on top of the pile.

JuLeah - posted on 02/13/2011

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Used to be in this country (America) that pink was the color for boy (watered down version of red - the color of war) and blue was the color for girls.
Your neighbor has some issues if she think a cup determins gender, or sexual orintation. You could very well dress him in dresses and bonnets (again, common dress for boys at one time) and you can let him play with any toy that catches his eye. He will still grow up to be whoever he is meant to be.
One little boy I know was given dolls and cars. He tossed the dolls, but would rock is cars to sleep and put them in the baby bed. He'd cover them up and sign to them, even push them in the baby stroller.
I was given dolls as a girl, Barbie, in fact. I was told her hair was golden, so cut it off and attempted to melt it down. I used the bald head in my sling shot.
Men need to know how to be gentle with babies, care for their children, cook and clean. They need this as much as women need to be able to change a tire and fix a sink. Tell your neighbor you are making effort to raise a well rounded confident strong able man ... a man who can see beyond color

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234 Comments

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CARLA - posted on 02/22/2011

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WELL REALLY, IT IS NONE OF HER CONCERN WHAT COLOR YOU CHOOSE TO USE, WEATHER IS A SIPPY CUP OR ANYTHING WITH COLOR. YOUR BABY DOES NOT KNOW HIS COLOR'S AND IT IS NOT HURTING ANYONE. IF YOUR NEIGHBOR IS THAT WORRIED ABOUT WHAT COLOR CHILDREN ARE WEARING SHE NEEDS TO TAKE HERE BUTT TO THE SHELTER WHERE CHILDREN DOING HAVE ANYTHING TO WHERE AND SHE CAN BUT THE GIRLS AND THE BOYS THE COLORS THAT THEY NEED.

Christine - posted on 02/22/2011

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My two kids (1 boy & 1 girl) are 15 months apart, they play together sometimes they both play with cars & others they both play with dolls. Than doesn't mean they are confused, it means they are happy. What you give them to play with, drink from or wear will not change there gender preferences. Your neighbour is homophobic & need help.

Christine - posted on 02/22/2011

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OMG It is your neighbour who has the problem, she's the one who is confused

Gina - posted on 02/22/2011

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How old is your neighbor? 80? Colors don't mean anything anymore. Pink and blue are just colors not genders. I'd just remind her that it's your son not hers.

Kathy - posted on 02/22/2011

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My son wore pick diaper becuase they were cheaper. It's a color. my son's first bike was a hot pick mermaid bike. We lived where may kids didn't have bikes. The boys fought over it at the park. You see masculine sexy men wear pink polo shirt. Some people stick their nose where it doesn't belong. My daughter now wants him to play barbies and he wrinkles up his nose because he's not into girl stuff. Is you child loved and cared for? I would say probably yes. That's what matters!!!! Good luck!

Jaclyn - posted on 02/22/2011

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You are born gay. It doesn't matter if you dress him as girl all the time, he will either be gay or not. You can't 'make' him gay just like you can't 'make' him heterosexual and you certainly can't do it by the color of his sippy cup at any age.

Trudi - posted on 02/22/2011

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She obviously is ruled by stereotypes. It will NOT hurt your son in any way to have a pink cup. Kids dont even know about "girl and boy" colours and toys they just play.

By the way you should get your son at least 1 doll as it is good for him to play and experience different rolls. While boys show a prefernce for trains and trucks they should be given lots of opportunites to explore and develop a range of learning skills, and you can actually affect him more but not providing equal opportunites for exploration

Winnetta - posted on 02/22/2011

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There is nothing wrong with the color of the sippy. Why is your neighbor so comfortable with asking you that type of question?

Ruth - posted on 02/22/2011

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The only one who is confused is your neighbor for saying a narrow-minded comment and thinking boys and men are not allowed to enjoy vibrant colors. That they should only be surrounded by greens, blues grays and so on. How depressing.

Dawn - posted on 02/22/2011

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your neighbor is ridiculous. on a side note..those throw away sippy cups are completely cancer causing & toxic. many states are working to ban those type of plastics from being sold, especially for children who are especially sensitive to such toxicity. get glass that has rubber coverings so when dropped they won't break or you can get plastic cups without the bpa's. better for your baby, also one shouldn't be using anything that is constantly tossed out when there are other options. it's really not an inconvenience....and, of course better for the environment.

Susana - posted on 02/22/2011

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Hahahahaha you are already giving your self the correct answer. Its not a problem, you are not confussing him and its ok for you to do it. I use the same cups for my 4 and 5 year old boys and since one of them is the Blue Power Ranger and the other one the red Power Ranger the red one some times drinks in the pink cupp when he dosent find the red cup around and I dont think there is a problem about getting confused with calling himself a girl as he still calls himself the Red Power Ranger!!.

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you're neighbor obviously has gender specific issues. i think you should dress yourself up in a suit and tie and put your son in hair bow and walk over to say hi. that should get a rise out of her! the truth of the matter is, your kid is gonna grow up to be whomever he wants to be. and nothing is going to change that. the cards have already been dealt. a pink cup is NOT going to change a thing. in these times of financial stress, throwing away a cup simply because it is a color "some people" think is for girls, is just rediculous! i wold like to say, though, thanks for the laugh (at your neighbor's expense!)

Julia - posted on 02/22/2011

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first of all, it's none of HER business, you do what you want with YOUR kid! and yes, I totally agree with you, no matter the colour.
By the way, my almost 3years old boy has a small kitchen as a tool, and he loves it because he can do as mama (cooking), and he also loves his garage...
go on with putting your son in his purple bumbo just to see your neighbor's face!

Yesmine - posted on 02/22/2011

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It doesn't matter!! He's 8 mnts!!! Not 3! My sons gm always got him purple and pink bottles bc that's the only color they would have wen he needed them. We used the platex dropins! But anyway.. He's too young to know the difference between wat colors are for girls and boys. Ur friend is immature.

Keri - posted on 02/22/2011

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MY mom gave me plenty of "boy" things (popular "boy" colors) when I was newborn to 1 year or until they started accumulating "girl" things. I must say I'm not "screwed up" or "confused" as I am married to a wonderful man and we have a child (boy) of our own. We didn't know what we were having, so we got a lot of green and yellow and white in the beginning and only started acculuating "boy" colors a few months after he was born. A kid that age is TOO YOUNG to realize his cup is pink (or blue, or purple or whatever)!

Kendra - posted on 02/22/2011

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I agree totally. The colour of the cup is not going to cause gender confusion.

Tracy - posted on 02/22/2011

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I was your neighbor for a while there anyway. I am the mother of three boys and it would drive me nuts when my mom would get them things in what I assumed was a girls color. I'm happy to say it doesn't matter my boys are now 14, 16,17 and they are happy, healthy and very much girl interested. The color of cup, sleeper, blanket didn't make them any less male.

Stephanie - posted on 02/22/2011

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@ Jennifer- ooooooooooh noooooooooo! Not a PINK bath tub!!!!! Lmao that's too funny. These kids will be just fine. They will be whoever they want to be any way.

Jennifer - posted on 02/22/2011

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Oh good Lord... people are ridiculous. My son takes a bath in a PINK bathtub. Guess I'm going to scar him for life with that one...

Stephanie - posted on 02/22/2011

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I'm the same way with my son! When he was that age I bought him a bunch of rubber duckies all different colors (that's how I taught him colors) my husband had a fit over the "Pink Duckie"!!! Just laugh @ it! People think the craziest things @ times! Lol

Meg - posted on 02/22/2011

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We all have our on nature. He will be who he is no matter what color he has in his environment. My son had kitchen toys and trains when he was little. He got into a tug of war with another boy in a playgroup about a broom. He then got one for the next present time. At six, he is clear that some things are girlish and that is not for him. This is with my gender neutral parenting.

Melody - posted on 02/22/2011

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Your neighbor has issues (maybe she has gender issues....who knows - hee, hee - IGNORE her! :-)
Melody

Julia - posted on 02/22/2011

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I would go further and say that your neighbor is a bit scary. The below comments help to make clear that how we identify and construct a gender identity is a variable and dynamic process.

Lisa - posted on 02/22/2011

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I'm writing this to you as my son drinks out of a green sippy that has green and pink flowers. My older son is the only male dancer in a sea of pink ballerinas and loves being unique. I would say that people are going to be people no matter what you do and you should not worry.n't

Kim - posted on 02/22/2011

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I think that is so funny that she has such a problem with your son using a pink cup! Really?! Come on' lady! It's a cup for God's sake! He does not know the difference and never would if society didn't make it known that pink is a 'girl's' color! I love the color pink and think men look fabulous in that color. I hope she gets a grip soon. You are absolutely doing the right thing by giving him a pink cup!

Justine - posted on 02/22/2011

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Completely horrified and dumbstruck that people like this still exist? I hope she doesn't have any kids of her own!

[deleted account]

Thanks for the laugh! Does this mean my twin girls born after my son will be a bit boy-ish when they wear his hand-me-downs. OR my son will be girl-ish if he wants to play with their dolls lol, everyone's got an opinion.

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2011

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yeah its just a cup and the colour don't matter...my son had pink pacifiers (because the store was out of all the boys colors how ironic) my husband is or was kind of like your neighbour about the whole pink and purples..but my son wore purple sleepers and he even has pink and purple dinkies...he is the boyiest boy I know lol and now that he has a little sister he is giving his pink and purple toys to her (all his own doing, but cause tv also says that pink and purple are girl colours) but still it does not matter what colour something is it is not going to confuss your son and she is being silly...

Jen - posted on 02/22/2011

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my son is two and his cup is pink and purple because it came in a two pack. I bought him a pink exersaucer because it was $20.00 cheaper, and he loves watching his sisters barbie movies. It's nothing to worry about ignore comments like that.

Jay - posted on 02/22/2011

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Ugh! I deal with this every day! My son is two and has 1 older sister and 2 older girl cousins living with us. There are lots of girl toys around him and lots of princess movies on (my son sings 'The Little Mermaid' song sometimes) I don't intentionally dress him in girl things but I have grabbed the wrong pair of (girl) pants and thrown them on them when we're in a hurry.
My friends and family give me a hard time when he picks up a baby doll or sings the mermaid song but you know what? HE'S TWO! Who cares? Kids at this age are discovering the differences between genders right now, playing with dolls could make him a more caring father later on. He still likes his action heroes, football games and ramming full force into walls.
And, by the way, my son had a pink bobby left over from my daughter and he doesn't seem negatively affected by it.
Good luck,
Jay

Julia - posted on 02/22/2011

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Funny story - when my youngest son was born, I used cloth diapers for him, so instead of using wipies I bought a bunch of washcloths to clean his little bum. The washcloths I found on sale were red, and when I washed the whole load together, all his diapers turned pink! Well, to make matters worse I didn't have a clothes dryer at the time, so we had pink diapers out in the yard, drying on the line! My neighbors said "I thought you had a boy" and my husband said "My son will not wear pink diapers" but guess what? Pink diapers were all we had, and he wore them every day. He hasn't suffered any gender confusion issues, in case you're wondering, lol, and my husband got over it. As for the neighbors, I guess it gave them something to talk about.

Jessica - posted on 02/22/2011

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LOL some people are just too funny. you have to be thankful for them, cause I'm sure although she irritated you, you probably got a good laugh at her. You are absolutely right, its A CUP. a lovely piece of overpriced plastic that your son can drink his drinks in independently. it won't determine whether he's straight or gay. heck i see high school boys wearing hot pink shirts that I couldn't even pull of. But I dont see them wearing skirts or bows in their hair, so I think they;re still boys? :P When my first was a baby, my mom did the same thing, and I was even guilty of buying some 'girly' things like socks and bottles, because they're not important. My mom had this thing with buying my son tights to keep his legs warm in the winter(cant say i was a fan of this one but meh...gotta pick your battles and this one was dead...lol) one pair was white and even had pink purple and orange hearts all over them. WOO for girly tights! lol but no one saw them, they were to keep him warm so who gives a hoot. Cups are even less to care about. My son is now 4, likes Cars and Spiderman, will only drink out of cars and spiderman cups(dammit I cant buy pink ones anymore) but he has a kitchen set and a vacuum. highly doubt that had to do with the cups tho...lol
I wouldnt say its anything to worry about.
*oh yeah, i just remembered, my hubby played with barbies til he was into his teens (thanks to having 3 sisters) but he has since let go of the habit.. :P tell her pink is the new black and if she's really that concerned, to take it up with Oprah

Liz - posted on 02/22/2011

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My mother bought my sons slipper socks, one pair was blue one was pink, they wore them, they didn't seem to mind and neither did my husband and I. Also, when my older son was around 4, he wanted a play kitchen. At the time he was really into cooking. My husband was a little concerned, but as you said, it's not like he's asking to wear a dress and make up. He got the play kitchen for Christmas, loved it, now he's seven and he's moved on to video games.

Judy - posted on 02/22/2011

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The real issue is why did she need to see your husband to drop off mail. I would have stopped her and her intrusive behavior at the door. "Thank-you for the mail, he's in the shower", or what ever.

Kristi - posted on 02/22/2011

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There are plenty of pro football players who have taken Ballet at some point. That is truly an athletic dance class... builds coordination, balance, and self control! :) Use that against you hubby!

Kristi - posted on 02/22/2011

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I teach preschool, and I would like to know what she thinks about boys playing with dolls and dressing up in dresses and pretending to be girls while the girls inmy class would rather play with the trucks, trains, and blocks. I even had a boy one year who DEMANDED to be the bride in the "wedding" they were having. I think it is very important to teach boys and girls at an early age that it's not right to gender discriminate. My husband and I will BOTH be taking our son fishing this summer... with his purple sippy cup! :)

You are right though. It is just a cup, and this womann needs to relax. If your son grows up liking pink and purple, maybe he will be sensitive too. He will be the boy that al the little girls LOVE! :) Keep doing what you are doing mama!

Ruth - posted on 02/22/2011

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i think its funny how people say its confusing heck i was in blues and blacks and yellows and greens im a perfectly normal lil girl i always wore lil overalls and pants only when going to church was i in a dress even my son has used yellow and green and purple cups and hes a perfectly health and normal 2 1/2 yr old what ever is best and makes your child happy is the way to go

Heidi - posted on 02/22/2011

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My son has a pink potty because at the time that was all the shop had, and they did not know when they were getting blue ones in.
I was not going to drive all over to different suburbs just because other people have a problem with him having a pink potty!
I also bought a pack of cups and one is pink but he has no qualms drinking from it!

Stephanie - posted on 02/22/2011

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Not until the 1940's was pink considered a girl color. Up until then pink was considered related to red a strong color and therefor a masculine color. Light blue was considered delicate and the color of the Virgin Mary and therefor a feminine color. So, tell your neighbor you are taking your son back to a day when men were men and men drank from pink cups.

Becca - posted on 02/22/2011

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My son jack Has a pink and purple dummy because like your cups i got a 4 pack of dummies and they are all different colours, people also say to me thats a girls dummy and my response to them is, real boys wear pink! =)

Stacy - posted on 02/22/2011

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Your neighbor is a nut. Can you say "Homophobe"? My oldest ( a girl) and my second child ( a boy) used to play with each others toys all the time. It was an everyday thing to see barbie and a ninja turtle tooling around in Barbie's convertable. My daughter hated baby dolls and only wanted cars and trucks to play with until she was 5. She also hated anything with flowers on it. Not a girlie girl at all. By the way my daughter has been married for 7 years to a wonderful man and they have 2 beautiful boys. My son is an Iraq vet., married with a new baby boy. If a child is going to be gay it is not because of the cup they drink out of. Tell your neighbor to keep her opinions to herself.

Seiko - posted on 02/22/2011

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That's funny.... I even have a grand parent who buys my boys pink outfits. Who cares?

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my sons favourite colour is pink and he points out everything that is pink... but (his words) its man pink!!!

Leslie - posted on 02/22/2011

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I don't think it matters. I have both a boy and 4 girls and don't have the time to worry about colors. It's silly to think that it's going to confuse a child. I would do it just to annoy your neighbor :).

Hope - posted on 02/22/2011

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Its just a cup!!! It doesnt matter if its once a day or all the time, who cares.

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