I dont wanna confuse my daughter,what should i do??

Lola - posted on 12/03/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Okay so recently me and my daughters father have started dating again,she is 6 months old and we broke up main reasons were finacial stress and we didnt want to fight infront of Audrina,we have been 'back on' for a bout 3 weeks we have stuck to our original squedual no sleep overs she goes to his house 2 times a week as per normal we have been acting the same around her,basically we have made sure everything was the same for Audrinas sake as we want her to have structure i know shes only 6 months old but babys need a routine and a stable life,we always remained friends and never fought for Audrinas sake infact everyone we know would always be so shocked how friendly we were and nice for her sake and everyone was really suprised that we still did something fun with Audrina for a few hours once a week (from the weeken after we broke up weve been doing this) nothing is through the courts we arranged child support,shared custodys holidays weekends living arrangements EVERYTHING! our shelves and its worked.She is so happy she smiles all day everyday even when she really acts out she isnt that bad at all she is my little angel truly she smiles so much her eyes when she smiles real big its too cute.This brings me to my question my ex is currently living in a 3 bedroom that is way over priced and his lease is about to be up as he only signed a 6 month lease we have got along great while being together hes helped out so much finacially,emotionally,with Audrina he just makes it so much easier and to be honest ive always loved him i just thought breaking up at the point that we were fighting was best for Audrina but we sat down and worked it all out a week ago,i really want to give it a chance because i love him and would love nothing more than for my baby girl to grow up with a family in the typical sense a mommy and a daddy together no shared weekends no split christmas just us all together! he asked if he could move in i said only if we are seriously giving this a go im not mucking around like a teenager breaking up and getting back together im just not doing that to my baby! he said he knows her really loves me and Audrina and wants to give it a real go i believe him i do and i believe we will stay together but im concerend about Audrina it isnt just me anymore its her her feelings her life her daddy i just wonder am i doing the right thing by leaning towards saing yes he can live with us?? whats your opinion? no hate please im just trying to see whats best for my daughter. i want to we have such fun together we laugh and smile and my house is far big enough for him my family and his family want us tio niether of us have dated since we broke up and he is the most dedicated father ive seen he is funny nice does housework,has a stable job is amazing with Audrina is always there for me i just wonder will it play around with my daughters mind to much like one minute daddys here one minute hes gone.i really dont want that im just at a loss as is he,he doesnt want to if its not whats best for Audrina i really dont see us breaking up like i did last time but anything could happpen any moms out her had this happen?? what should i do! help!!! :(

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S. - posted on 12/03/2012

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Good luck! And i hope you all have a good christmas. Remember thou living with anyone your bound to have arguments and hearing arguments are a normal part of any child growing up its "the real world"

Lola - posted on 12/03/2012

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First of all thankyou both.Wasn't trying to use her as an excuse but you are right I'm sure she won't remember in the long run,I think we will give it a go because we never were virtually screaming and jumping down each others throat we have both matured so much since Audrina has grown as we were both only 20 when she was born I know we're only a bit older but she sure made us grow up fast!! I think it will work out I will tell him he can move in but if things get bad really bad he will have to leave for Audrinas sake.His lease is up on the 17th so it would be nice to have him moved in and be able to spend Audrinas 1st Christmas all of ether as a family! Thanks for the help all of you!

Sherri - posted on 12/03/2012

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Yes give it a go. Your baby will be fine and too young to know any differently.

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Ashley - posted on 12/03/2012

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me and my husband were together for almost 5 years. we split up when our boys were about 2 and 4. we stayed split up for 4 years, but for some reason we still called each other when things went wrong, when we needed someone to talk to, we called each other and seen each other the 5 years we were split up. it was never in front of the kids because we were not sure where it was headed and did not want to confuse them, even though they wanted us back together. the last year of it all, the kids finally knew we were trying to work things out. we moved in together after about a year, and we just got married on friday. we dont ever want to be apart again and we want our whole family together. i would advise to take it slow and give it some time to make sure this is what you both want. you have only been back together for 3 weeks, so it is like having a whole new relationship and your still excited about it. just take the time to make sure it is going to work and that your both happy. you dont want him moving in just to realize it isnt going to work and then him move out again. if you really love each other, then it will work out. it took us 5 years of not being together to realize that we did still love each other and were meant to be. im not saying to wait 5 years, just dont do it until you know 100% that the both of you are ready for this. good luck.

Lola - posted on 12/03/2012

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Yes I must admit growing up I heard my mum and dad have little arguments nothing big they weren't screaming down each others throats,I'm sure in the end she will be more thankful that he can grow up with a mommy and daddy together at the same time not split time.Thankyou :)

S. - posted on 12/03/2012

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You both seem to have you daughters best interests at heart, I personally would give it another chance if it doesn't work you daughter won't remember.

I just need to add that most couples have financial issues and the root to most arguments is money and children, I don't know a single couple that doesn't have arguments it's to what extent they get to that's the problem. I think the normal bickers are ok but if your both screaming at each other then it's a different story.

Michelle - posted on 12/03/2012

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Your daughter is still far too young to remember what is going on at the moment.



Think back to your earliest memory. How far back can you go? I know I can remember when my brother was born and I was 3.5. I don't really remember anything before that.



Using your daughter as an excuse not to get back with her father just in case it doesn't work isn't a very good one. Give it a go but keep in mind why you broke up in the first place. I don't know why you split up but people don't change overnight and are a lot different when you are living with them.



ETA: I didn't read the whole post because without paragraphs it's just far too hard.

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