I feel like I'm dying! Please help!

Abii - posted on 07/07/2012

hello, i had the same as you, i was put on fluoxetine, i started off on 20mg then ended up on 80mg and that helped so much. i am now off the medication but was on it for 8months. If you want any more advise about what i hat to do email me on abiiwhite@hotmail.co.uk
I am very happy to help you as much as i can.
hope this helps you

Nana - posted on 07/07/2012

Anti-depressants cause weight gain. Depression has many causes and your discontent about how you look can feed that, but living with constant pain certainly does.

I will not say that you don't need antidepressants because you very well may, but there are also healthy supplements that can help you and we are often not told these things in our western medicine/pill oriented culture. N-A-C is helping me but it must be taken with at least as much vitamin c. It cleanses and detoxes against oxidative stress. It doesn't harm the liver or kidneys like acetaminophen does because it's an amino acid. Sam-E enhances mood and neural function(pain) and helps with mobility. You should cut out as much sugar in your diet as possible because sugar causes neuro pain! It's like putting a speaker on your pain so it's louder and stronger and more disruptive. Low vitamin D can also cause all kinds of problems.

Sometimes in our frustration, we give away our power without even realizing it. Small steps can get it back and each small step strengthens us. Start investigating the needs your body has for various vitamins and minerals and begin to make small changes in your families' meals.
Start at google or wiki.

I've been crippled for many years, and have found that I think of my body as a prison instead of the gift that it is. I've recently begun to retrain my thoughts when I awaken, by lying in bed, stretching, and repeating, 'I love my body'. It sounds simple, but it's changing me. I am able to do more, and am seeing goals that I would never have even tried without it. And I don't feel so lost.

This may not be the full answer to your challenge, but I promise you it will help.

Lauren - posted on 07/07/2012

Maybe you have a fracture in your spine from giving birth. It's rare but it does happen. You need a ct scan to see, xrays only go so far. A physical ailment, depression, isolation from familiar people and places can lead to desperate actions. You need help this week not next week. Get help now.

Christina - posted on 07/07/2012

Glad you just posted that, I was going to suggest finding help at a church. Not just to talk to a minister, but to ask for help! Our church is a very loving welcoming place and we offer help to people in our community who need it, whether they are members or not. They might be able to arrange to have a sitter come in once or twice a week (at their expense) to give you a break. They might have nursery workers who moonlight as sitters if you can afford to have them come more often. I know money is really tight in our family, but if you do have the resources, DO NOT feel guilty about paying someone to come in a clean a little for you or whatever you need. You can sometimes find listings at your local hardware store bulletin board or craigslist for inexpensive services. You never know, there is a lot of help out there if you have the courage to ask for it. I will pray that you find the help you need and that you find a church home that will welcome you with open arms. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 07/07/2012

I have seen a psychiatrist, just last week, and have another appt this upcoming Monday. She's going to get me into the doctor on the 19th to get on meds. My husband is supportive, and my mom is as well, but she lives 2 hours away and theres only so much she can do. I don't have any friends here where we just moved to but hopefully that will all change once school starts and I can meet other moms there and so forth. I have to say this again though, I will never ever ever even think about killing myself or hurting my children. That has never been an issue. I woke up at 5am with pain in my back so back that I thought I was going to literally die. I even contimplated going to the er. The pain has taken over my life. I was not this bad off last year, and this year is a 10 fold! I can't imagine what the next few months, six months or year is going to bring me and I can't even fatham what its going to be like. My disease will never go away but theres gotta be something that can help me make it not as intense. I take mobic right now for the arthritis because I cannot tolerate narcotic meds. Even then, the only one of those that has ever took the pain away was morphine! So, we'll see. I do not belong to a certain church just yet, but have contacted the church to see about going and talking with someone. I pray everyday I mean everyday, several times a day because I need the lord right now!

Tina - posted on 07/07/2012

You don't say if your husband helps you or not, but judging from your reaction, I'd say not. Are you affiiliated with a church? That can be a safe place for your kids to go (Sunday School) while you get the chance to take a deep breath. Do you have any friends who could help you? Where is your mother in all of this? You don't mention seeing a psychiatrist, and this is something that I highly recommend. Only a psychiatrist has a true understanding of psych. meds and can help you get on the right one(s). I so identify with what you are going through. I also suffer from severe depression but am able, with the support of my husband and daughter, I am going back to school- I have my Associate's degree in Psychology, I am going on for my Bachelor's Degree, and will then get my master's degree in counselling. Please, please, please- go to see a psychiatrist. They really can help you! There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang on! I will pray for you!

Lauren - posted on 07/07/2012

Check into a hospital right now. You need to get away from everything. Tell them exactly what you're saying now before you actually kill yourself or your children. This is a matter of life and death.

Diane - posted on 07/07/2012

You need a break first of all! And you need to give yourself a break. Take baby steps. Set small goals for yourself each day. I have dealt with anxiety and depression though not nearly to the same extent, though I feel like my kids don't get the mom they deserve as well. I'm on meds but they just kind of take the edge off.

I have 3 boys under the age of 4. I can't imagine having to care for 5...6 if you count your husband :) Is your husband supportive? Have you seen a psychiatrist? How old is your youngest - do you think it's postpartum? I'm sure with the osteoarthritis it make the matter more complex. I sounds like you need to take charge of your health - find another doctor if you need to. Just my thoughts.

Heather - posted on 07/07/2012

You might also have a progesterone deficiency. An ob/gyn can refer you to a saliva test if you want to have it checked, but you could start the cream without testing. Blood levels are not reliable. I went through a post-partum anxiety/depression episode after I stopped breastfeeding. I thought had lost my mind. I had my thyroid tested, and did a saliva test. My estrogen and progesterone levels were terribly off. Starting a progesterone cream made a world of difference, and almost immediately. Seriously, do a little research on-line on progesterone deficiency. Low levels can also contribute to pain. You don't need a prescription, but try to buy a good brand. And good luck.

Beverly - posted on 07/06/2012

Sarah...I understand exactly how you feel because I lost my daughter to suicide 5 years ago. She left two beautiful girls behind who will never get over losing their mom and who have needed and still need therapy to cope. It also caused enormous financial disaster to a whole family. There are many kinds of medication and many new therapies being developed all the time. THERE IS HELP FOR YOU!!!! If I knew what state you lived in I would be glad to refer you for help. Please do NOT give up. You are a valuable precious person to your children and someone valuable to this world. You could find relief for your pain but leave behind a destroyed family!!! I care...and I know there is help.

Denise - posted on 07/06/2012

Have a pharmacist check your medications, many medications have the side effect of depression. I was severely depressed for 3 years and I found out that it was one of the medications I was taking.

Kim - posted on 07/06/2012

That is great that you went to the doctor. That is the first step for you and your kids. Wish you all the luck!

Sarah - posted on 07/06/2012

I absolutely have been living my life to suit everyone else but me Elizabeth, however, I am not suicidal, nor have never been. I would never do that to my kids. I just hate sending my kids to a sitter, especially if they are not a friend that I've known forever, or simply my mom. I will ask my doctor about b12, or simply get a vitamin for it. I want to be better!!!

Elizabeth - posted on 07/06/2012

The FIRST thing you need to do is take the kids to a sitter and YOU take a BREAK. I don't know how old or how close in age your children are but, everybody needs adult conversation. If you have a support system like friends, a mother,sister,brother, or anyone that can help you LET THEM. When you look for a counselor find one that specializes in depression open up and tell them exactly how you feel.Tell them you are having suicidal thoughts and that you hate yourself right now. You know these thoughts are irrational because you have said you need help. Make a list of your positive assets and what you would like to do when the kids go to a babysitter. That is the first step. A counselor specializing in depression can help you deal with how you are feeling and what you can do to change your feelings. It sounds like you have been living your life to suit everyone else and now you are tired and need a rest. Remember if you are going to change the way you feel , you have to change the way you think.

Sherri - posted on 07/06/2012

I so feel your pain. I found being at home all the time with the kids such a hard transition. We had moved and were in a new place. I didn't know anyone. I would go to a doctor and get some blood work done just to rule out any deficiencies. A few years back I could barely drag myself out of bed and went to the doctor. After a simple blood test they found out I was B12 deficient. I go for a shot monthly and I am shocked at the difference. I have more energy and am less depressed. Also, most gyms have child minding centers. I find leaving the kids there and working out or sitting in the steam room gives me some me time. The socialization helps immensely too because no one talks about kids! Hang in there. It will get better. 5 kids would be an incredible amount of work. I have two and feel insane most days. :) It`s hard to leave them but I`m starting to realize I wasn`t doing them any good not taking time for myself.

Tammi - posted on 07/04/2012

I just wanted to add that Effexor was great for me untill this last year and a half when my deppression has gotten really bad and I have been switched to Cymbalta. Also, one thing that I learned in a 'Changeways' course for depression that I took was don't to become motivated to do something, you have to do it to become motivated. When you are very depressed I know that I get really negative in my thinking and you need to try to change your thinking to positive, which is not easy but can be done over time!

Thalia - posted on 07/04/2012

the right meds and a solid support system is what is needed. I just gave birth 3 months ago to my fourth child (children are 17, 10, 7, and newborn) and I can admit to being depressed since my 10 year old was born. i did want to get out of bed, be around anyone or any thing else. My doctor prescribed wellbutrin and it worked for me but I stopped taking after the 7 year was born.i got divorced when 7 yo was 2 and my depression spiraled into a very dark place...I didnt leave my room for almost a year except to go to the doctor and work (almost lost my job). My partner, who I was so mean to while I was depressed but he stuck around and he and I talked to my doctor about my mental state and I started taking wellbutrin again before our newborns birth and I feel so much better. I dont cry any more and i want to go to work and do all the fun things that I stopped doing while i was depressed. My boyfriend is a wonderful man and has helped me tremedously. He is my support system and understands whats going on with me and he has proven that he is always therre to help no matter what.

Kristi - posted on 07/04/2012

Do some research on niacin. It is a vitamin that naturally helps with depression as well as anxiety. However, I know that it is hard, but I truely believe a lot of it is mind over matter. You have to force yourself to start working out if you want to feel better and you definitely have to take care of your kids! You are not doing yourself or them any good. Decide today to make a change and choose happiness!

Sarah Elizabeth - posted on 07/04/2012

I have for children, I was also very depressed I lost my sister right after I have birth. With in the same week. I took alot of meds, however paxil did great at first, then I started to get very tired, also I gained alot of weight. I had to break out of my funk. I started doing what was going to make me happy. When I didn't want to I didn't. It is a slow proceeds to get better slower than when it started. I too have osteoporosis, my biggest problem to date is getting a doctor to care our take me serious, my pain was the reason for my depression. Cymbalta helped me too.

Tammi - posted on 07/03/2012

I hear you loud and clear!! I HATE depression and what it does to not just the person suffering from it but their entire family and friends. I have been struggling from depression for a very long time and having osteoarthritis on top of that for you must be so very hard. My advise for you, that has helped me a little would be to make sure you are seeing a doctor that is not just going to dismiss your depression and to see if your doctor could refer you to the Primary Care Network in your area, depending on where you live. The people there keep in touch with you and have multiple programs that are really great. I know you don't want to go out but think of this as your medicine. The program I was apart of is called "Changeways" and helped to a degree, but more than that it gave me time for me and I have also tried a few other progrms. Please hang in there and if you absolutely have to you may need to check yourself into a mental health facility or go to emergency. I know you will be thinking that that is not a possibility becauseyou have children and your husband to look after but it would be better for them to be away from you for a short time than forever. Also, I dont' know what you believe or if you belong to a church but if so or if not find one to go to for people to pray for you and maybe even anoint you with oil. I understand the depression part of what you are going through and am so very sorry but please hold on. I will pray for you and if you need anything else please contact me. Take care and remember this is urgent and YOU deserve good health!!

Sara - posted on 07/03/2012

Pray, if you haven't been already, and pray more if you have. Find a church you are comfortable attending, and get those kids involved in the children's program. Take that time to get yourself involved in Sunday School or a Bible study group for yourself. You may make some friends in the process. The negative feelings and depression? Rebuke them! Rebuke that in Jesus' name.

I tell you this because I know from experience that I am happier now that I am finally truly involved in church and getting my kids involved. The negative feelings are evil, and they must retreat if you, as a child of God who has accepted Jesus as your savior, rebuke the evil in Jesus' name. Again, I know this from experience.

Also, pay a little more attention to what you are eating, eat healthier, and get some exercise making yourself play with those wonderful kids of yours, and you will start dropping some of those pounds. That in itself can make you feel terrible, letting weight sneak up on you (I've done it, and I am trying to lose it now).

Jodi - posted on 07/03/2012

How old are you? Sounds hormonal.You don't need medication, you nee hormone therapy. Find a dr. who deals with this (not as easy as it sounds) since it is a fairly new approach in medicine. But also, going for a walk every evening with your husband or a friend does help a lot

Hanna - posted on 07/03/2012

Dont worry dear!!! We are the in the same track but mine wasn't constantly like you do. I married a person who is 18 years older than me and have 4 kids from previous marriae. He told me about the other 2 kids after I married him I have no choice to live him becose I loved him and also have 2 kids after that becose we wher happy. But after the 3 of my step kids moved with us I am start crying and gaining wigh cos I eat non stop I have my kids with me all the time, no mater what I tried its really afecting me, but most of the time I try to not be in the house take the kids to difernt kinds of activities,parks and children Cente.That really help me to do not over deprist. So all I can say is try to take the kids out to the park. Most people have the worest thing in life try to injoy it cheer!!!!!

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2012

I'm so glad to hear about your doctor's appt! I know it probably sounds like bad news, but this is treatable! I know putting your children in pre-school seems difficult, but I truly believe it'll be good for all of you. They'll learn to learn in an environment that's more fun and a lot easier than it would be in kindergarten. And you'll have the break you need! I'm so excited for you now! Please, let us know how everything is going! Sarah

Marcia - posted on 07/03/2012

I recommend St Johns Wort from the health shop. It helped me in my dark days. You can get over it. You have to do things differently, anything is a start and keep it up. I looked this up today to try and address my low self esteem maybe it might help you. Good luck we are all rooting for your recovery from your darkness. x



look up- http://bernadetteshealingarts.com/ she gives advice of how to improve self esteem I just found it today from aol

Colleen - posted on 07/03/2012

Buy a dog and walk every single morning before your husband leaves for work... and maybe again when he gets home. And hire a sitter.

Michelle - posted on 07/03/2012

Can you afford to go into an inpatient program? My mom did that when I was 15 (and my siblings were 13, 12, and 9) for her depression, and it really seemed to help. If you could find the time and money to spend two weeks just focusing on helping yourself through this intense therapy, it could really help with the depression (and give you a much-needed break.)
Why have you not had a sitter for so long? We all need a little break now and then - even just a couple hours to go see a movie or get your nails done. What is your relationship with your husband like? Even if he works full-time, it sounds like he needs to be taking care of you, not you trying to take care of him.
AS far as weight goes, it is obviously difficult to do any sort of exercise, although you need to try to at least walk a little or something to keep your strength up, but if you could focus on eating super-healthy, you would feel better all around. You'd have to commit to only buying healthy stuff when you go shopping, so later when you want the bad stuff, you don't have the option.
Having 5 kids to care for is taxing on the healthiest woman - you are an amazing mother just to be caring for your kids and looking for a way to help yourself. Keep trying. Pray, meditate, find a way to nurture yourself each day. Maybe try to wake up 30 minutes before the kids to have some quiet time to reflect. But first and foremost, get professional help - as much as you can afford. Depression is often a life-long disease, but it is usually treatable - it's just tricky because the right balance of meds is different for everyone.
Good luck and stay connected to other moms here - you will need the support!

Kim - posted on 07/02/2012

The only thing that helped me was going to the park each day. I know that sounds nuts but it helped. It got me off the couch and being more active. Also take vitamins. I was low on Vit. D and get your thyroid hormones checked too. Sleep makes a big difference so get all that you can.

Sarah - posted on 07/02/2012

Well I have to say thank you again for all the support. I did go to my doctor today and they said I was bi polar, adjustment disorder, anxiety and depression. She's going to have me see a doctor to get on meds so we'll see how this works.

Terry - posted on 07/02/2012

Yes there is something you can do. Call and get an appt with the Mayo Clinic. They have them now in several states. I had a daughter that had something wrong with her for 36 years before we found it and we went everywhere. They may turn you down but be persistant. We stayed on premises and they do everything as in and out. She saw every kind of doctor imaginable and we never waited past 15 miniute for any of them. She was there a few days shy of two weeks and they found her problem. It was worth every bit of your time.
Terry

Sarah - posted on 07/02/2012

I do walk everyday, especially in the evening when it's cooler outside, with the kids. We go outside and catch lightning bugs, toads, etc.
I have an appt today finally to see another doct. A mental health professional so I will let you all know what she has to say.

Irene - posted on 07/02/2012

No one has responded to this ? I just saw this .first of all I feel for you . Second of all get someone to give you a break .a mothers helper,a friend someone if you have the money to pay for a babysitter do it ! Even if it's for a few hours. next check out some natural products ,like alfalfa for your pain and inflamation ,and a mood lift ....and a different dr. But you do need to get help. Here is a web site for natural products .www.anappleaday.my shaklee.com and if you need to contact me feel free to do so .irene1605@ aol.com. Hope this helps!

Lika - posted on 07/02/2012

First off, how often does your husband dote on you, and/or your children? Especially when you have osteoarthritis, it is crucial that he helps you at home as best as possible. If your kids have grandparents, ask if they can spend a weekend, just to give you a break. You also need to find a doctor who WILL help you.

Jennifer - posted on 07/01/2012

You need a break. If you can afford it, hire a sitter for a day and go pamper yourself. Pedicure, read a boom, whatever works for you. If you can get the sitter early enough, go back to bed and sleep in. My hubby and I got a hotel room once so we could have room service, watch TV in peace and SLEEP IN the next morning. It was wonderful to just sleep. We take turns sleeping in on weekend days when we can. (sleeping in is 8am but it's something). Find new doctors. It can take time but finding the right psychologist and psychiatrist makes a huge difference. It can take a long time but keep trying. I have been where you are emotionally - ask for help. Ask a mom friend - we all know how hard it is. The hardest things are to ask for help and to say "no." Try to get other people to help you until you feel better.

Cheryl - posted on 07/01/2012

Good evening, it almost sounds like your having a horrmne issue...I went thru that and I currently take a couple different meds actually, lexapro,topriamate,and an actual hormone replacement cause they took out my ovaries..menest....I still was having a lot of issues with weight gain and trouble till recently..I actually discovered thru a bunch of friends that were taking a 90 day challenge called body by vi....I figured I'd try it for a month cause even my mom was doing the challenge ...I'm onto my second week...lost 10 pounds, 9 inches...I haven't taken any sleeping pills to sleep at all...I'm falling right to sleep at night but I am full of energy during the day...I'm not irrated like I was before and I really do feel good....I forgot to mention I'm also a diabetic so doing the challenge I was scared cause it's a shake for breakfast and lunch then a reg meal for dinner...but I actually haven't had any headaches or anything...I don't sell body by vi and I'm not a sponsor for it...but I can honestly say, I was seriously pleasantly surprised how good I am feeling and how easy it is....they have a website you can read up on it and just try it...

Laurin - posted on 07/01/2012

Sarah-
There is not much to add to these comments except that you are so important. To your children, your husband, to all those around you. I just lost my sister to depression. It is horrible. I still wish she really knew how loved she was...and is. I have been down this road, too, and I know how hard it is to pick yourself up. The one thing that stuck out is my mind is how you talked about your purpose in life. I want to recommend the website . It is full of truth about our purpose in this life but what I like most of all is that it has real people on it that share their life stories. The ups and downs and how they get through it will the help of God. That by knowing their purpose they are able to press forward during unspeakable trials. I know these past few months since my sisters unexpected death this has been my crutch and my relief from the heavy burden of death. I will really pray for you and I know if you have faith in God and his son Jesus Christ he will help you.

Tania - posted on 07/01/2012

snap... B12 and B6 are also linked to depression, and there has been a lot of research recently about B9 deficiency also being a link.

I know Zinc is inter-related as well.

Tania - posted on 07/01/2012

Have they done a battery of blood tests including your serum vitamin and mineral levels, hormone levels, cortisol, liver and thyroid function tests?

I ask this because a lot of depression can be due to a biological/biochemical imbalance within the body.

Amy - posted on 07/01/2012

I have been treated for depression and experienced what you are going through. Eventually, I conducted some research on supplements and started taking some that have seemed to put me in better spirits. Also, learning about my dad's depression and that he has been vitamin D deficient for quite some time has shed light on what I may be dealing with. I have not had my blood tested for vitamin deficiencies, and have only added supplementation for vitamins I know I do not get enough of. I would suggest seeing a doctor to see what vitamins you may need more of. Right now I am taking a vitamin D liquid supplement and take a few moments in the sun throughout the day to enhance its effects on my body and I am taking a vitamin B complex. I feel better since adding them to my diet.
You should also talk with your husband about getting more of his help in your home. Perhaps he doesn't understand that you need a break as well. Taking time out of the day to tend to your needs is important too.

Karen - posted on 07/01/2012

Please get your thyroid checked. Hypothyroidism cause depression, exhuastion and weight gain. It frequently happens after a tramatic experience (mine was a surgery but symptoms didn't show for a year). Also, get your cortisol levels checked and maybe try an adrenal support supplement (also helps well being and energy). This is not in your head. It took me years to feel normal. I ended up getting better after having several long talks with my local pharamist that also uses natural supplements. Get your doctor to refer you to an endocrinologist. Make an list of all issues and when they started. If the doctor doesn't run blood work, go to someone else. Unless they take you seriously, you will not get better. This is not in your head! You deserve to feel normal, fight for it!

CHRISTINA - posted on 07/01/2012

So, I recently was also in a very bad place in my life and I went to a psychologist. She hooked me up to a machine called the "alpha stim", And the back pain went away within a couple of minutes. I'm having her work with my md to see about getting one for me to use at home. It uses electrotherapy, and while I don't know exactly how it works, it is amazing! it also has ear clips to hook to your ears for depression, and many other issues including anxiety and insomnia. You should look it up, the site my dr suggested was www.alleviahealth.com. great info! Hope you can find a provider that can help you!

Leslie - posted on 07/01/2012

Please see a psychiatrist who can give you the right medicine and some "talk therapy". There are so many medications out there that you have to be really careful; one of the side effects is weight gain.

Susan - posted on 07/01/2012

I'm praying that first of all you believe in God. I would pray that he gives you the strength you need and the wisdom to find the right Doctor. Just because one doctor failed there are millions more out there who may be able to help you. If you have already been to one doctor and he/she couldn't help you, try another one. Someone out there is going to be able to give you your life back. Don't give up! Do your research and if needed get your husband to help you. I realize you are depressed, but somewhere inside you is the strength you need to look.

Kimberly - posted on 07/01/2012

II battle depression and sever anxiety. I also suffer from female problems that have messed up my hormones. I suffer severe nausea, migraines, massive weight gain in a month. Graveyard for a year or so then it drops off as fast. I am getting my hormones checked again. I may have something worse. Depression is really hard. I had to try several. I am batteling the depression by sticking with it and found a good med. Lexapro is wonderful for me. I pray a lot. I have learned to have faith. It actually helps the anxiety. Def. Get your hormones checked. You could have Chronic Fatique Syndrome. My mother has it and can't get out of bed she is so weak. I will pray for you.

Siobhan - posted on 07/01/2012

I also had 5 children so know how that feels you must be drained ... you need some 'me time'. I tell you what worked for me. In our area you can get 3 hours in a spa if you book in advance I had never had one before but forced myself to go. See what is available in your area get someone to sit with the kids and treat yourself. I am totally off meds now and happy and getting healthy again .. like you I put on weight but masses of it .. I am now loosing it gradually. I think it is because for that small amount of time everyone I encounter is focused on me and my well being, making sure I enjoy my experience. :) It feels good for that alone and add to that the massages make you relax and there is a gym which I eventually used and that invigorated me. I feel so much better on every level and able to keep going. I wish you luck with it all hun and I will be thinking of you so when you are megga fed up just think that someone somewhere is thinking of you and wishing you well ... I am sure there will be many but you may be sure there will be me. Smile hun, deep breath, and one more step toward another day ... love and hugs xxxxx

Randi - posted on 07/01/2012

by all means..get everything checked...complete CBC..thyroid, hormones...then attempt to find a counselor you are comfortable TALKING with.....in my mind (past experience) therapist is someone who attempts to teach techniques for managing your feelings, which can be a really good thing. However, from past experience ( I am old by the way) a counselor is a friend who will listen to absolutely ANTYHING without judgement of any kind and then help you discover the 'why' and how to deal with those. This will not stop the pain you suffer, but the simple release of feelings will undoubtedly bring some peace and in turn help the pain. Medication for depression as a temporary assist to help one over the hump is certainly valid, but will not change the causes. My opinion girl, you need to TALK, cry, vent. Let a complete stranger get to know you and find all those wonderful things that make you who you are. You carry a huge load with 5 children to raise and care for. You need somewhere to unload.
I will pray for you and the peace within that you need so much. Be well.

Rachel - posted on 06/30/2012

I noticed you mentioned you had your thyroid checked, and it was normal. You may be interested to know what normal actually is. Thyroid medicine in large doses will shut down a working thyroid gland. So, in the interest of public safety, doctors would only prescribe it once a thyroid was already totally shut down (a 10 on their scales). As more patients presented with the same symptoms, "normal" has been repeatedly reclassified. Currently, a normal thyroid is 4, but to find a symptom free group, you have to go all the way down to 1. I am a 2.3 (a clear "normal") but I had all the symptoms, so I was put on low dose thyroid to supplement progesterone cream, with excellent results. My doctor says thyroid gets a bad rap, but everything is toxic in too high doses. Maybe a different doctor would be willing to put you on a trial period of low dose thyroid.

Secondly, don't apologize for not wanting to send your kids to preschool. If you don't want to send them, DON'T! I think a Mommy and Me group would benefit you far more.

Marilynn - posted on 06/30/2012

I know that this is a few days later but I would like to give you a few tips that helped me.... I was severly depressed after i had my second child and I was checked into the hospital for it. I did not find counselors helpful because I did not want people that I did not know to know my problems. I actually had an awesome gyno who would let me call her to talk to her on her lunch breaks which would ease some of my frustrations. I also found that if i removed myself from everything around me and spent time by myself to think about what was great in my life it made me feel a lot better. I dont know what i would be doing if it was not for my girls and if I was to give up they would not have a great mom. I just reminded myself that I had the best life because I had my children. If you just get away even if it was to just sit at the park or ride around the corner, I think it would help some of the depression.... as far as your weight loss... I do not think that you are fat, as a matter of fact I wish I could say that is what I weighed but my uncle had a bad scare back in November and has lost almost 100 pounds since. He is allowed 2200 calories a day and eats mostly fresh fruits and veggies a lot of wheat breads and crackers low fat yogurt and lean meats and fish. And like some of the others said you need to worship yourself in order to make yourself feel as great as you want to!!!! You have to remember you are an amazing person and you have an amazing family that needs you to be strong for you first before them. If you think of eveyone before yourself you will never feel better!!! I wish you good luck!!!!

Chelsea - posted on 06/30/2012

Jesus woman! You don't probably don't need meds for depression, I'm sure you've heard the #1 reason for depression is lack of excercise. But maybe some time to yourself? I often don't want to leave the house, but most times when I force myself to, I feel much better.
Where do you live? It's amazing what some fresh air will do for the psyche. Leave the kids with the man for a cpl hrs and go see a friend? Go back to work? Take a walk in the forest? Get a cup of coffee and read the paper? Walking /excercising might be painful at first but humans have muscles for a reason...go out and use em! You will be sore but after a week or so might feel better? You are probably exhausted, I can't imagine a day in a life w/ 5 kids!!
Hang in there, do what YOU like to do, not what your husband or kids want you to do!! I went back to work 'cause I was so fucking bored and broke.

DONNA - posted on 06/30/2012

God's purpose for you may be to raise 5 kids to become resposible adults...no one really knows.
You need to start from square one and get a dr. who will not pat you on the head and give you more meds...but to treat your problem...get help now! My prayers are with you.