I feel like I'm running out of options for birth controls

Brittney - posted on 04/17/2012 ( 73 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone! I need some suggestions on the different types of birth controls, I cannot have estrogen (most have that in them I guess). I'm not too reliable when it comes to pills, cannot use patches, Implanon was working just fine and now its starting to annoy me (constant periods again), nuvaring wont work, mirena/copper IUD seems to be my only other option and I wont check the string and knowing me I will end up having to get it surgically removed, there is also the shot, but the only person I know who has that ended up gaining a lot of weight. I feel like I'm out of options. My husband and I wont use condoms (its alright with me) and we cannot afford or have room for another baby. 1 is enough. I'm also 20, so I cannot get any sort of 'permanent' procedure done. If the bleeding continues anymore than a week, I'm going in to talk to my doctor about something else, but I would like some help deciding. I have been to all the websites for all the mentioned (my insurance will pay for anything as long as it is considered a birth control). So please! Give me your opinions on the types of birth control you use or have used. Thanks in Advance!!

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Tabitha - posted on 04/18/2012

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I think the real question is: How serious are you about preventing another pregnancy? The reason I say that is based on your comments...One was working but then it ANNOYED you, the 2 of you WON'T use condoms, and you think depo causes weight gain, you're not reliable with pills, you WON'T check the string. Since you can't have estrogen, it kind of limits the choices you have. If you really don't want another baby right now, you might have to make choices that are based more on needs and priorities than weight gain, annoyances and the fact that hubby doesn't like condoms. You have to make sacrifices in order to get the things you want or in this case don't want. Any birth control can cause weight gain if you don't keep an eye on what you're eating. Also, any birth control can cause heavy or constant periods too. Unless you're allergic to condoms, there's not valid reason to not use them if you're really trying to prevent a pregnancy. You're not out of options, I'm just not sure what your priorities are while you're looking at these options.

Krista - posted on 04/18/2012

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Okay, so I know some people may get upset over this post and it is not meant to be judgmental...just an FYI. Some people are not aware that an IUD does not stop and egg from being fertilized it only stops it from attaching to the uterine wall. Therefore, it is like you are aborting the baby without even knowing that the egg is fertilized.

Maybe a diaphragm with spermicide would be something worth looking into.

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2012

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There are also female condoms as well. I also wonder how you know you're allergic to all lubricants if you've never used condoms. Have you undergone allergy testing? Personally my hubby and I started using condoms after my daughter, I prefer it, much easier clean up for me! There are ones we have tried and liked and others we tried and didn't like. If you decide to go that route, buy a box that has different kinds in it until you see what you both like the best. As others have suggested as well there are the hormonal methods (implants, shots, pills, IUD), barrier (condoms, female condoms, sponge, diaphragm), natural planning methods, abstinence, and permanent (tubal ligation and vasectomy). Please forgive me if I'm forgetting anything. Why not go to your local planned parenthood and talk to them, they can guide you far better than anyone on here. Also, take your partner with you. Birth control is not just for the woman to be in charge of, it should be a decision between the two of you, and both of you need to take responsibility for preventing pregnancy if it is something neither of you want to happen.

Merry - posted on 04/19/2012

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Ok I don't know why no one ever considers a diaphragm! We are so used to pumping our bodies full of hormones and drugs and pills and implants and all that stuff carries serious risks! Loss of pregnancy loss of fertility. Meaning, making you infertile! Bleeding, cysts, CANCER.

Seriously, condoms, NFP, or a diaphragm are the only really safe options.

Amy - posted on 04/19/2012

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If you are having some many issues with medical birth control don't use it. Natural planning works if you pay attention to it. And i understand not wanting to use a condom but really you may have to just suck it up and use one. If everything else causes issues that seems like the most logical solution, quick, easy, granted not 100% effective but then again BC isn't either.

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Barbara - posted on 04/23/2012

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It sounds like you don't have any options left. Sorry. That seems REALLY frustrating!
I was, am still, horrible at remembering to take my daily meds. I have actually set an alarm on my phone that goes off every day at a conveient time. I take my meds every day now!
I hope this or another suggestion helps!

Kathleen - posted on 04/21/2012

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Most doctors will not sign a request to do a vasectomy with a man that age, unless there is a seriously good reason, like the wife's life is in danger if she get's pregnant.

Mrs. - posted on 04/21/2012

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It sounds like you might have some underlying gyno problems that might need addressing.

I'm extremely sensitive to lubes and allergic to latex. I don't do well with estrogen/hormone therapy either. I don't want Mirena, because it is hormonal...and the weight gain stories out there are pretty terrible. I can't use the non-hormonal IUD because I had endometriosis and have heavy periods. I don't do well with inserting and leaving anything up there because I am very prone to infection. I can't even use tampons.

So what do I use? There is an excellent brand of condoms that are latex free and have very, very minimal lube on them, they are called SKYN and made by Lifestyles. There is also a brand called Bare, which is similar, but I don't like as much...but'll work in a pinch. I was scared to use them at first because all the non-latex condoms I used were terrible and I always had a reaction to them..these ones made everything better. I can't reco them more.

I have been to a number of top specialist over the years that deal with pelvic pain and vulvodynia. If you are looking for a lube, that will sound odd, but seems to work with those who are super, super sensitive to the regular ones...Crisco works and it will not lead to infection. You can also use plain old canola oil as well.

The other condom option you could try, since you are not worried about STD's with the hubby, is lambskin. I believe you might be able to find one without the lube on it.

I hear your husband doesn't want to use them. I just want to put it out there for you in case you really want to have sex and haven't come up with a better alternative. I find, if given a choice of no sex at all and sex with a condom - men will eventually cave in. This may not be the case in your house, but with other bfs I've had, it always worked for me.

Another alternative to lube, is your actual natural lube. Spend a huge amount of time with your husband getting yourself properly ready and then there will be no need to use another source.

I wish you luck, it is hard to deal with these issues, but you really, really need to figure out with a specialist if you have any other issues besides the hormone thing...your posts are putting up a ton of red flags for other issues like vulvodynia, pelvic pain issues or just general dyspareunia that needs some examination. You never know, any underlying problems might be making your sensitivities worse.

Erica - posted on 04/21/2012

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Sorry, I didn't find that funny.I have a stupid touch screen phone and a wiggle worm of a kid on my lap.

Hilda - posted on 04/21/2012

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Hi, I've been on IUD/mirena for 7 seven years ( its good for 5 years, my second one) and I'm lovin it... No heavy bleeding every month, I hardly check the string every month... My 17 year old just had it recently...

Kate CP - posted on 04/20/2012

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Can't have an abortion until you're pregnant. You're not pregnant until that egg implants in the uterine lining. SCIENCE. It's a marvelous thing.

Brittney: Look into diaphragms.

Brittney - posted on 04/20/2012

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If my daughter had to take medicine, I would try to remember. But she doesn't, so I have no need to think about that, a friend of mine has a baby who needs medicine 2x a day and sometimes she forgets, were human, some things slip our mind. As for condoms, we can, but I don't feel anything with sex anyway (except pain) so I don't know if that would change anything or not. He says that he wouldn't be able to feel anything with one.

Merry - posted on 04/20/2012

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Kimberly

This is how me and some others feel-

A fertilized egg means you are pregnant.

A fertilized egg IS alive and IS a baby.

If you don't think it's alive until it attaches then no, it wouldn't be a killed baby in your eyes.

But in my eyes a fertilized egg is a tiny human with DNA and genes set up and a future!



Brittney, why can't you use condoms?

Tabitha - posted on 04/20/2012

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You can put a reminder in your cell phone that will remind you everyday to take your pill. What would happen if your baby needed meds everyday at the same time? Would you not be able to remember that as well? Scary! I'm not trying to judge, but it just sounds like you need to grow up and take responsibility for yourself and your body. Also, your husband should be responsible for birth control as well.

[deleted account]

I have had mirena put in and it works. Although it's supposed to make your bleeding lessen or even stop all together, it depends on the person/body system. It will be a year in June since I had it in and I haven't had any problems. I don't check for th estrings although hubby does feel when we're having sex but it doesn't hurt or anything. If I feel like something's weird about it, I go to my gyno and she checks it for me.If it's ok with you, and the doctors doesn't see anything that will be "bad" for you, then go for it. I can't get any permanent procedures either because I'm only 21 but after having my second child (we too don't like using condoms and I didn't like the rest of the ways other than the pill) we decided to go another route.

Mary - posted on 04/20/2012

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I also use depo.ve' used it for 8yrs now,no complications but i just gain & dont see my periods.Now i want 2 stop using it nd ve a baby.hope i wont ve any difficulties to concieve.wish me luck!

[deleted account]

It bothers me when people say the IUD causes abortions. If an egg is fertilized, it has to travel to the uterus and attach to the wall before you can become pregnant. The IUD prevents this from happening so you never become pregnant.



" Release of copper ions also alters fluid in the uterine cavity in a manner that impairs the viability of sperm, thereby inhibiting fertilization."

Brittney - posted on 04/20/2012

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I got some lube this morning and put some on my arm and the spot around it became red and inflamed and burned, it still burns even though I washed it off. All I'm looking for is what type do you people use or what would you recommend. I have been tested by my doctor for not being able to have estrogen, it isn't sometimes throwing it up, it is morning sickness I get after taking them everyday for 6 months. I've only been on 2 different types of pills and Implanon. Thats it, I haven't been sexually active for very long.

[deleted account]

I have had the copper IUD for a couple years. My husband checks for the strings because I don't want to do it. He has mentioned that he can feel them during sex. It doesn't hurt him but he can feel them. I did have mine replaced within the first year because my body was trying to expel it, but other than that I have had no problems and I don't have to think about it.

Sarah - posted on 04/20/2012

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Also, another suggestion, it could also be the gloves your doc used during your exam. Latex is a far more common allergy than glycerin. That is why I would check with an arm test/patch test. If it is latex and you decide to use condoms, there are non latex condoms out there too.

Sarah - posted on 04/20/2012

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No offense, but you need to remember that with sex comes responsibility. Just because you had and uncomfortable reaction during a pelvic exam does not mean you are allergic to glycerin. It is a pretty easy test though to check yourself. Get some lube and put some on your arm and see if you react. You can do this yourself. I think your doctor was negligent to assume this without double checking. Also just because you sometimes throw up the pill doesn't mean you react to the hormones in it. If you take it on an empty stomach it can do that. You say you have a hard time remembering, but you need to make it a priority if you genuinely don't want more kids right now. Personally I take my pill before I go to bed. You may be sensitive to estrogen, but you aren't allergic, it is a naturally produced hormone in all women. When I started the pill I had to try 4 different ones before I found one I wasn't moody with sex(and I mean burst into tears for no reason moody). You don't want to touch yourself to insert or check anything, you don't want to have to remember to protect against pregnancy every time you have sex or have to take something every day. This does not mean you are out of options, it means you are too lazy and perhaps too immature to take responsibility for your sexual and reproductive health. This is part of having sex. If you won't explore your options because you're too closed minded or intimidated to try, than I don't really know what you're looking for from all of us. Personally, it won't surprise me if you're pregnant in a year. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you've gotten a lot of good advice from many women on here and you keep shutting it all down for reasons that are trivial. There is nothing more frustrating than someone who won't take responsibility for their own actions. As I have suggested before, look into all your options at your local family planning clinic with your partner and try different things out. Sometimes contraception is trial and error to see what is best for each couple.

Oh and BTW if your first pelvic was when you were pregnant, there is an increase senstion and blood supply to your vagina and perineum. This can lead to more discomfort on exam. I have never found pelvic exams all that comfortable either, and moreso during pregnancy. This is normal. Unless it is extremely painful for you to have sex, I would be willing to guess that your anatomy is normal. Putting in diaphragm, sponge, cervical caps, etc. Should be no more uncomfortable than using a tampon. Sometimes it stinks being female and having to do all these things to ourselves, but we are also privileged to live in a society and the day and age where we have the options. Good luck with whatever you decide. ed

Jennifer - posted on 04/20/2012

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I had mirena inserted at 21 once i decided i wanted to wait a few years to have another kid. In november 2007 I got mirena, I only bled on and off for 4 days after insertion. It did hurt during insertion but not as bad as having a baby, I'd do it again. I have not had a period since. I want to warn you at first my husband could feel it "barely" for the first 2 months. I asked my doctor about him feeling it and she double checked location of the mirena and everything was fine. It seems that it takes a little to settle in your body, but a little feeling doesnt compare to not getting pregnant for 5 years. I've always just had my doctor check the string at my 6month check up, b/c i feel really weird trying to reach up their for something that i cant reach. I haven't had to have it removed or anything, I haven't gotten pregnant and my 5 years is up in November. I would suggest you try it. I have been very pleased with it. Once I get off of it in November I am planning on having another baby and then i will definetly get on mirena again:) Best of Luck to You :)jj

Ronda - posted on 04/19/2012

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Try the rhythm method using BBT and charting when you ovulate, and use a diaphragm also. Neither mess with hormones. I also cannot use anything with hormones in it. Good luck

Krystal - posted on 04/19/2012

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Mierna is a good one I have had it over 3 Years and no problems yet. The doctor can.check it whenever I was a heavy bleeder and now I hardly get my period.

Pamela - posted on 04/19/2012

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DO NOT get an IUD!!!!!!! The way an IUD works is that it attaches itself to the uterine wall and causes CONSTANT irritation so that an egg that has been fertilized cannot attach to the uterine wall and grow! It, no doubt, DAMAGES your uterus permanently.

Get a diaphragm. They take more effort and you have to use spermacide. You also have to remove it and clean it, but it is SAFEST for your body.

I used pills for 4 years until I was ready to have a baby, i stopped and got pregnant. I then used a diaphragm. Hope you will consider doing the same.

Brittney - posted on 04/19/2012

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I know I'm allergic to the things I'm allergic to because my OB/GYN doctor (I never went to one before I was pregnant) said that burning is a symptom of being allergic and said most likely it is glycerin I'm allergic to. She did a few PAPs and I was in so much pain and she linked it to that. I cannot remember to take a pill at the exact same time every single day, some days I wake up earlier and some later, if I'm in a rush then I wont remember to take it until later in the day if at all. (I tend to throw them up too, which I have heard is bad) I don't want to have to remember something daily or monthly or every time before sex. Too much to remember. I appreciate all the responses, I really do. I just want some sort of opinion to go on before I go to the doctor and talk to her about one, I want to make a decision based on information I have learned, not go in to the doctors and they talk me out of one, so then I'm clueless. I don't like being allergic to everything and I wish it was simpler. Right now, it is just abstinence an Implanon. Doesn't bother me, but when my 3 years is up, I want to try something else. I'm terrified to get this one taken out and another put in, I want something that doesn't hurt me. If that makes sense. Sorry for the ramble. I think the one I have is working just fine for now, but I want to have another one in mind for when this one gets taken out.

Karen - posted on 04/19/2012

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Make your husband responsible for you taking the pill. If he forgets them it's the condom for him. that's how it works in our house.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/19/2012

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Lisa, having your tubes tied IS considered permanent. It is very tricky to do a reversal, and it is very expensive also leaving slim chance of it working. I had my tubes tied 2 years ago.

Brittney, I am not trying to be a bitch, but you do not seem very proactive about your own birth control. I recommend something like the Mirena that can stay in for long periods of time so you don't need to worry about it. You sound a bit lackadaisical about it, so go for something you don't have to monitor regularly, or have your husband go for a vasectomy. Those are simpler to reverse.

Faye - posted on 04/19/2012

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If the Tubal Ligation is done properly, there is no way to have a reversal. The proper way is for the tubes to be cut (2 cm section removed) and then sealed on both ends. Very few women who have the Tubal Ligation done in this manner can EVER have it reserved, as there is a section gone and to my knowledge there is no way to replace that 2 cm section. i may be wrong as medical advances are happening every day.

If you are certain you do not want to get pregnant any time soon, YOU WILL MAKE SURE you take that pill each day. Set a reminder on your phone for the same time EVERY DAY and then follow through.

My kids are 3 and half years apart, and while I did not have any problems with the pill, I made certain I took that pill each day.

Good luck in finding a birth control which will work for you and your situation.

Merry - posted on 04/19/2012

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The diaphragm uses spermicide so idk if it's an option for you, you also have to insert it so you might not be ok with that. But for me it's perfect. It's a flexible bowl looking thing that you squeeze so it's narrow and slide up inside your vagina, once it gets near your cervix it slowly opens up and covers your cervix with a seal. And you leave it there during sex and then remove it 6-24 hours later so the spermicide has a chance to kill all the sperm it may have caught. Otherwise the ejaculation gets either absorbed into you or expelled back out as it can't get into your cervix.

Anyways, there's really no risks to it, no hormones, and you can't feel it during sex, neither can the man, and it doesn't hurt to put in or take out though you do have to be comfortable putting it in and out.

Anyways, for me it's perfect and it's really unknown of! But it's a good safe option.

Brittney - posted on 04/19/2012

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My insurance may not pay for me to get my tubes tied, but I know they wont pay for me to get it reversed. My husband has no insurance at all.

LISA - posted on 04/19/2012

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I HAVE HEARD THAT YOU CAN GET YOUR TUBES TIED TO PREVENT PREGNANCY AND IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, YOU CAN THEN GO HAVEE IT REVERSED. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT WILL HELP YOU WITH YOUR PERIODS OR NOT BUT SURE WOULD BE EFFECTIVE TO AVOID GETTING PREGNANT TIL YOU ARE READY, MOST DOCTORS WILL TIE YOUR TUBES ITS NOT PERMANENT BUT IT WORKS MY SISTER HAD IT DONE. SURE HOPE I HELPED.

MOTHER OF TWO

OHIO

Brittney - posted on 04/19/2012

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I'll try to answer all your question but if I missed one, just ask again.



Here goes:

The reason I do not want to find the strings is because I am not comfortable touching down there, it is extremely painful for anyone (including the doctor) to do it. I'm afraid of needles and afraid to gain too much weight (I'm underweight according to doctors), I am very unreliable when it comes to taking pills (I just cannot remember them) and they make me sick, Implanon (I still have it) made me bleed for a long time at first, got back to normal 1 week periods and now its back to month long periods. I'm willing to give it a few more months of a chance, I just wanted other options in case this one doesn't work out. My doctor said NuvaRing wouldn't work for me, a permanent option is too permanent for right now. I just turned 20 and we may want more children in 10+ years or less. I don't trust natural family planning (because we may not abide by our plan). I'm allergic to lubricant and spermicide. I have no experience with patches. We have never used condoms, so it just seems weird to me. (and I don't know how that would work without lubricant) He wont get a vasectomy (manly reasons I guess). I was willing to get my tubes tied after our daughter was born, but I'm not old enough and don't have enough kids. (doctor told me) Never even heard of a diaphragm (except here). How do they work?



Thank you for all your responses! I'm still hoping that the bleeding stops with Implanon (I'm anemic and don't want it to get worse)

Tiffany - posted on 04/19/2012

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For me, I've used a variety of pills and have also used Depo Provera (the shot). I didn't gain weight for the first 3-4 years, but did slowly gain a little weight. But I must also say that I wasn't eating the healthiest and wasn't exercising. I also loved not having a period and not having to remember to take it. Worked great for me!!! Good luck!

Tina - posted on 04/19/2012

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I just got the mirana put in and I love it. I don't check the string because they didn't tell me too. U just have to make sure u don't see it in the toilet but I don't worry about it falling out. I haven't had a period since I got it put in. I also feel like it's a been easier to lose weight with the mirana but that just might be me. It hurt to have it put in but haven't had a problem since. It is quite expensive so hopefully u have insurance. I was on the pill before this and I love this better.

Anna - posted on 04/19/2012

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We used the natural planning method and had 5 children at exactly the times we selected. No accidents or concerns and we have used to for 10 years. Whatever you decide will be right for you but remember the vasectomy option for your husband!

Markita - posted on 04/19/2012

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Wanted to add that I used the patch for years and loved the freedom it gave. It did irritate my skin a bit and it took me a couple months to find the optimal placement, but sooo worth it (for me).

[deleted account]

I used the shot for years. The average weight gain is about 4 pounds per year. I didn't gain more than that on it. I loved it because I didn't have a period. I would spot for a day or two right before my shot was due. I would have never remembered to take a pill so it was a great option for me. Hope that helps! :)

Markita - posted on 04/19/2012

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What Amy said. Why wouldn't you check your string? Would you just not remember it? A little note on the calendar always works for me. Of course your dh could always get snipped, his is even reversible. Plus he spends so much less time recovering. I've always wondered why it has to be the woman's job to make sure birth control is used. Why can't he step up?

Pamela - posted on 04/19/2012

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I have the plastic Mirena and love it. (copper is only if you want it in for 10 years). Also, there is no estrogen with the Mirena, and the purpose of the IUD is to localize hormones specifically to the area it is needed to prevent pregnancy. Not like a pill you ingest and that your entire body has to absorb in order for the hormone to be delivered to where it is essentially needed. Also, it is the only form of birth control that has immediate reversal - you can just have it removed. My insurance company covered it 100% (Aetna), so I only paid the co-pay to have it inserted. My take on it was-- 'what do I have to lose? If it doesn't work for me, I can just have it removed'! I've had the slightest drip-drop of a spot since I had it inserted, but no real bleeding or period since! (Had it put in 3 1/2 months ago). I was crampy for the first couple days, but now I never feel it, and love not having to take a pill every night. By the way, my dr never mentioned anything about checking for a string, so not sure about that. Why would you need the string unless you're ready to have it taken out? Good luck with your decision!

Christina - posted on 04/19/2012

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I have a mire a coil and if I'm honest I don't really check the string very often. Ive had them on and off for years I think they're great. DefinItley a good option. Just make sure you go for your check up after its fitted and try and check it now and then and you'll be fine. M

Michelle - posted on 04/19/2012

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Perhaps you should talk to you Dr. about the pill for men. I have read that this works. I"m not sure if the US. has approved it. I hope so, it's long over due for men to be responsible for birth control. There is also the day after pill. It is recomended that woman learn their body's' and yes that meansdown there. I know it feels strange to see & touch your self. About three months ago, I seen my self down there for the first time. I have to cathetor my self three times a day. At 42 I think i'm to young to to have to do this. I am now used to it. I would use the nuva ring. You really need to talk to you OBG. I believe they can give you better alternatives then your GP. Well i wish you good luck.

Kristin - posted on 04/18/2012

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My husband and I have used the Natural Family Planning method for the past five years since having our son.

Kellie - posted on 04/18/2012

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Why can't you get a 'permanent' procedure done? I got my tubes tied at the age of 20 back in 1983! You need to express to your doctor that you are certain that you do not want anymore children and will go to 'classes' that will tell you what it all means....permanent, no more babies, blah, blah, blah.... Like you don't know what you want. Try it if that is what you truely want. I couldn't take birth control because of a minor heart problem but that shouldn't deter you if you really want it done. Talk to your doctor about it anyway....

Angie - posted on 04/18/2012

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Im not a catholic, but regarding Kathleen Keene's post on fertility predicting...It had been recommended that we attend a catholic-offered class on fertility~ family mgmt and it was sooo helpful. Had tried IUD and wound up with a tumor from my body's rejection of it so not in favor of that method again. I do agree with the diaphram w/ spermicide being a great option for you, esp since you and hubby are so young! the combo of education from the class along with that method &/or occasional use of condoms will give you the health and peace you desire while supporting your family's needs. Best wishes! :)

Samantha - posted on 04/18/2012

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I highly recommend looking into the Billings method. We have used it successfully to avoid pregnancy and as long as you stick to the rules, you won't fall pregnant. Because it uses your body's natural signs of fertility, its more accurate than other natural methods, and the charting is easy. I even use a chart called 'my days' on my smart phone now to keep track. Or a diaphragm is a good option too. I have one for those days when I know I am fertile and hubby and I just can't wait. But we don't like using it all the time as it does reduce sensation like condoms do.

Alisha - posted on 04/18/2012

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Be carefully if you want the paragaurd, I had it and needed to get it removed because my periods were we heavy that it caused me to be anemic!! Hope you find something that works.

Kathleen - posted on 04/18/2012

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We have used condoms for 15 years, the very thin ones. Kimono seems to be the brand that works for us. We buy them a bunch at a time on Amazon.com You may want to give them a second glance. Also, educate yourself on when you are most fertile. There are fertility predicting websites that help you know when you are most fertile. You just are more careful when that time comes around, anywhere from 12 to 16 days after the first day of your period.
I don't like drugs or hormones, and my hubby isn't ready to get a vasectomy.

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