I feel so sorry for my husband's side of the family right now.

Sheree - posted on 01/27/2010

WOW after reading the first couple of paragraph's i thought i was ready my own post. Our situation is exactly the same. Although i gather this has already happened, i just wanted to let you know your not the only one with these inlaw issues. My inlaws never wanted to see our daughter unless it was someones birthday or christmas, so my husband and I have put a stop to her seeing them full stop. My husband also doesnt make an effort with them any more either as it gets him no where. If they do manage to call they have been told not to even ask about our daughter anymore. They havent cared about her since she was born, never call to see how she is, or make the effort to see her, so they have been told now that they will never see her and not to ask about her if they ever do call. It makes for a much happier house now.

Sharon - posted on 01/27/2010

so how did this play out?

Cheryl - posted on 01/27/2010

Keep your plans why should you change your plans so they can play grandparents when it's conveinient for them. If it wasn't for the family reunion they probably wouldn't have given her a second thought. I know this because I've played these games with my in-laws for over 25 yrs. My children are old enough now that they choose not to see them because they know they don't care.

Shelagh - posted on 01/27/2010

Hmm, to begin with, you are complaining that your in-laws never come to visit. And then you are complaining that they want to visit. You've already said that your daughter sees a lot of your mum, her nephew and so on - so missing out on one visit in order to be with her other grandparents won't matter too much in the grand scheme of things.

Decide what you want, girl - if you want your husband's parents to come visit, then welcome them with open arms when they do. The timing might not be perfect, but very little in this world is.

Kathi - posted on 01/27/2010

Wow to compensate your own plans to try to please your husbands folks?? Just not right - I have the same problem with my inlaws and they keep having their own agendas on how they want to proceed with life. We usually have me deal with my family and my husband deal with his. But when my husbands family decides to act, it's usually without regard to my feelings or schedule or even his. I feel there's no respect for me or even our marriage as adults. The ones hurt are the children/grandchildren involved, if you let it. I just remind myself that IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE AND KEEP A RELATIONSHIP. You married your husband and not his family but this is where he came from. You can choose to keep this relationship at your expense by taking the extra steps (which is a lot of work for you) or you can let it go. Your children will grow up fine. You can't make someone be interested and you can't teach them respect if it's not there in the first place. But you can have respect for yourself and be strong in your own convictions!! I say this as we only live one city away. My husbands folks always drop by without notice and I tear into my husband and he's to the point that he doesn't want this confrontation anymore and finally realized he's married to me, picked me to spend the rest of his life with, and has finally started to seperate from mom. The communication starts with your own immediate family. The choice I would make is to go ahead with your plans already made (it sounds like a lot of work anyways) and kindly reply that we already have plans and we're sorry we'll have to miss you this time around. It would be a good dose of their own medicine but no guarantees that it'll take affect.

Sharon - posted on 12/22/2009

OOHHH That sucks.



Call your mom and be pissed off that they are ruining your plans and be really upset about it but you gotta give in this time to keep the peace.

and borrow your nephew.. it'll help things go more smoothly.