I get criticised for bottle feeding my baby even though I had no choice to.

Zowie - posted on 02/23/2009 ( 201 moms have responded )

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My milk didnt come in untill day 6 and that was only after ther OB put me on the motilium to help bring it in. So for the first 6 days of her life she was bottle fed. Then i tried to breastfeed but it was not filling her up enough and then my milk completely stopped after a week. So now because she is 100% formula fed I get frowned upon and treated badly by not only professionals but also every day mambers of the public and even friends.

If anyone has any past or present experiences like this or even just something to help, please post.

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Johnny - posted on 02/25/2009

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Until my daughter was 5 months, she received both breast & bottle.  I found that the public was equally judgemental of both.  Some people find breastfeeding obscene and make rude comments.  Others think it's wrong to bottlefeed & use formula.  You can't please everyone all the time.  For some reason, the moment we get pregnant, people seem to feel you are public property & therefore are entitled to give you their opinion.  As for the professionals, there is also lots of pressure on breastfeeding moms to bottlefeed (by doctors & nurses), which is how my daughter ended up on the bottle.  I was convinced I didn't have enough milk, which turned out to not really be true, but I trusted the professionals.  Once I gave in and fed her formula, they judged me for giving up. And now, I am exclusively breastfeeding & they ask me when I'm going to wean her.  You just can't win :) Having done both, I found that people are equally rude either way. 



I would say, that deep down, you know what is right and that you did your best.  Hold on to that and be proud that yourself.

Mic - posted on 02/24/2009

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Remember this...YOU are that babies mother. I know how hard it is. My milk never came in...I had people telling me all kinds of horrible things. I wouldn't try to bottle feed (even though my doctor told me to) because they kept telling me I had enough milk to feed 10 babies and the doctors just didn't care. They told me my child would be sickly and not as intelligent if I bottle fed and I was being lazy and didn't care about the welfare of my child. My children are now 14 & 16. They are extremely healthy...usually only going to the doctor once a year for their sports physicals. They are very smart....honor roll...the works...high test scores...WAY smarter than me! :-) They are active and outgoing. My only advice to you would be ...hold her...don't prop the bottle. The talking and singing you will do while she is eating creates a very special bond and will stimulate her. My cousin just chose not to breatfeed because she was uncomfortable...her children are very smart...active and healthy also. This is only one part of parenting and while I am totally behind breastfeeding and it's importance..it is not what will make or break this child. Just love her unconditionally...be there for her...hold her...talk to her...she will be just wonderful. Hang in there!!! :-)

Shelley - posted on 02/24/2009

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I Understand. I decided in the hospital that breastfeeding was not for me. When I told the nurses I wanted formula they started treating me different and it started to make me feel guilty.  I thought it was rude and hurtful.  Breastfeeding is a personal choice. It works for some and not for others whatever the reason. You are doing the best you can so feel good about that. If others do not agree that is their issue not yours.

Amira - posted on 02/24/2009

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I went through the same thing, had very low milk supply and was supplementing with formula until my milk completely dried up. I was under a lot of pressure from doctors, nurses, lactation consultants, etc... and was really traumatised by the whole experience of breastfeeding...i don't think it is meant for everybody and people should not be judged if they decide to formula feed!! i don't think that it's a big deal and i am sure that a mother's love and care are not determined by whether or not she breastfeeds!!! don't listen to anyone and keep loving and nurturing your child without worrying about this insignificant detail.good luck :)))

Raquel - posted on 02/24/2009

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Some people are so inconsiderate. Don't you dare let anyone bring you down. Everybody's experience is different and they didn't live YOUR experience. Kindly tell people that you appreciate their opinions but they are insulting you by somehow implying that you're not doing right by your baby. You tried and it didn't work out, that's what formula is for.  As for professionals, find someone else to go to. You don't need the added stress. Good luck girl and God Bless, you're doing a great job! :)

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I think you should tell any one who criticises you to GET STUFFED! The only think that matters is your baby is putting on weight & is happy & healthy & you are enjoying your baby. It is nobody's business how you feed her just as long as you are!!



Don't feel guilty, it's your baby & you can bring her up however you please.

Jenny - posted on 02/26/2009

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I bottle fed my son from day one.  He was just over 4 pounds and yhe nurses frowned on me too and my husband had to go and buy the bottle and formula himself, we weren't even offered.  My milk didn't come down until 4 weeks after he was born, by then he was so used to the formula my husband and I both said we would just stick to it.  now he is 8 months and well over 20 pounds.  There is nothing wrong with formula feeding.  He hasn't contracted any sickness out of the ordinary, we deal with ear infections and lung problems mostly because he was premie.  Youre doing the right thing.

Lianne - posted on 02/26/2009

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hi i tried to breastfeed all three of my kids but it was too painful for me so all were bottle fed but all three were all above average in height and weight my oldest who is 8 is just starting to be the same height as the rest of her class so in my opinion breast is not always best so dont worry what other people have to say

Amber - posted on 02/26/2009

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My daughter was born with very low muscle tone and had a problem latching on. On top of that she was put in the NICU for a week, so the stress of that on me kept my milk from coming in. I pumped and pumped to no avail. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Milk is the best but it sometimes is just not an option. Dont let them bring you down, you know whats best for your baby.

Kirstie - posted on 02/26/2009

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You know what I think. You do what's best for your child. If your baby is gaining and healthy that's all that matters. I bottle fed my first and breastfed my second. It really bothers me when I hear people making you feel guilty for which way you feed your child. I got it either way. My oldest I was getting it because I didn't breast feed. The problem was he wasn't latching. My youngest my MOTHER of all people bugged me because I did. Which actually motivated me to continue. I know it's hard not to let it bother you but you are doing what's in the best interest for your daughter. You know your own child best and don't let anyone else tell you different.

Megan - posted on 02/26/2009

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I know exactly how you feel.  My daughter and I had trouble from the start with breastfeeding. (long story no need to go into it).  My milk supply was really low and apparantly I have really small nipple which I thought were cute but are not good for breastfeeding.  I pumped, breastfead and bottlefed.  I finally stopped around 4 months.  My milk supply was getting less and less by the day (no matter how much tea I drank).  I was devistated.  All I wanted to do was give my baby the best start possible and I wasn't able to do it. 



For those people who find the need to criticize us for not breastfeeding, you should really find out the reason why... there is always a reason.  Most of us feel bad enough as it is that we can't breastfeed and usually feel as if it's our fault and not nature's that we are having trouble.  I felt like a bad mother and that I should keep going even though it was torturous for me everyday that I tried to breastfeed.  I usually ended up in tears.  A few weeks after stopping I started to feel liberated.  I was no longer in pain and was so relieved to be rid of the "let down" feeling.  I hated it.  My daughter is doing great and I now feel that I did the best that I could for her. 



Thanks for starting this conversation Zowie.  I am sure there are a lot of people who felt the same way.

Helen - posted on 02/26/2009

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With my 1st I didn't breastfeed because I had to go back to work in a factory and had noway to pump and keep the milk cold. With my 2nd I chose not to due to the meds I was on and I'm very sensitive. I never let what people had to say bother me because they didn't know the reasoning behind my decisions and both my girls are very healthy and smart!! Don't worry about other peoples judgements it's not their places to judge or worry about your family its yours.

Christina - posted on 02/26/2009

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dont let people make you feel bad. All i did with my daughter was pump my myconium for her and she was bottle feed the rest of the time. That is what worked best for the both of  us.  My doctor was supportive of me and told me everything i needed to know. As long as she was growing and getting bigger they were happy

Maggie - posted on 02/26/2009

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it sounds like you tried everything you could, so don't take their criticism to heart. i tried to breast feed my son but he just wouldn't do it so we would supplement with formula a lot, then i finally decided to just pump the milk out and do it that way, he was getting it from a bottle, but it was still breast milk. i only pumped for like a month and he was bottle fed from then on. it's stressful to breast feed. i used to sit for hours with him and then finally decided that it was better for both of us to just go to formula. the way formulas are formulated these days, they get a lot more vitamins and dha than they would get from breast milk. your daughter will be just fine!

Maggie - posted on 02/26/2009

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it sounds like you tried everything you could, so don't take their criticism to heart. i tried to breast feed my son but he just wouldn't do it so we would supplement with formula a lot, then i finally decided to just pump the milk out and do it that way, he was getting it from a bottle, but it was still breast milk. i only pumped for like a month and he was bottle fed from then on. it's stressful to breast feed. i used to sit for hours with him and then finally decided that it was better for both of us to just go to formula. the way formulas are formulated these days, they get a lot more vitamins and dha than they would get from breast milk. your daughter will be just fine!

Carrie - posted on 02/26/2009

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It seems so often that when it comes to raising children you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. I breastfed my son for 13 months and felt just as weird and guilty about that as you do about formula feeding. I got alot of flack from my MIL who never breastfed her children and my mother who only did it for a few weeks. It seems that everyone has an opinion about everything...Every child is different, every family is different and you must always trust yourself. You are the expert to your own child. No one, be it grandmother, doctor, or meddling person at the mall knows more about raising your child than you do. Formulas now adays are healthful, safe and nutritious. Feed your baby with pride knowing that you are and will always do what is best for little angel...good luck.

Stephanie - posted on 02/26/2009

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Dear Zowie,

You didn't do anything wrong honey! Ask yourself this . . Is your baby happy and healthy? Are you healthy and happy, other than the rude people badgering you about something so personal it's really none of their business? After answering those basic questions lets think about the long term effects of this decision that was out of your control. Will it make a difference to your baby in 5 years or even 2 years? No.

My brother and I were both adopted and my mom didn't have the option to breastfeed. . . we both turned out fine. I know how you feel too, I was only able to breastfeed my daughter for two months before I got double mastitis and had to switch her to bottle while I was on antibiotics. I used a pump during that time but after my round of antibiotics I wasn't producing enough milk and dried up within the next week. I was upset because I thought I had failed, or let her down. When my son was born we had trouble with his biliruben levels and so I couldn't nurse him in my room. He also had trouble latching on, on top of the fact that the lovely nurses wouldn't come get me when it was time for him to eat, and they would just give him a bottle without asking me! It was lovely. After that drama he had a real problem with latching on and he wasn't getting enough of my milk, etc. I had alot of people who I barely knew or didn't know judging me for not breastfeeding. Basically I made the decision, with the help of my family, that I know what's working or not for my body and my baby. You need to accept things the way they are for right now, including the fact that this was part of God's plan for you and your baby. I didn't understand how it could have been a part of God's plan when we were going through it, but now I have the opportunity to try to encourage women like you who are going through the same thing. The people who are judging you are trying to be helpful but they are ignorant to the pain they are causing to you. Hang in there honey! This too shall pass! My mom had good advice for me, she said come up with a good one-liner for those people who are judgemental and practice it at home so you are ready to respectfully tell them it's none of their business when the time comes.



You can do this, God made you the mother of that child for a reason. Trust your instincts and don't lose focus of what's important here, not whether her nourishment comes from you or a bottle but that she gets all the love you have for her!



Love you sister! Now truly enjoy that next bottle you feed her and give that baby a hug!

Sincerely,

Stephanie in Oklahoma

Bobbi - posted on 02/26/2009

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while Breastfeeding can be beneficial to the baby because of the colostrum which is the first milk that comes in and makes them have immunity for a little while against the things you are immune to ...it is a personal choice....and not one that people should be hateful to you over....I wanted to breastfeed my daughter but she was born 2 months early and had to stay in the hospital for a while ....I lived 2 hours away from the hospital and couldn't drive so had no way to take the breast milk to her....so I bottle fed...Also as far as that goes people that bottle feed have to make sure to expose their baby to sunlight for their babies to get Vitamin D! they don't get that from breast milk.....There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding....I am a student nurse and on our OB rotation we were told to try to encourage it but be supportive no matter what the parents choose....and that is what we do!

Kimberly - posted on 02/26/2009

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you might try fenugreek to increase your milk production.  I tried it and it works wonders!  Now I have plenty of milk and I pump almost every feeding... have plenty in storage now.



 



there is a good book out too called "making more milk" by diana west.  and then go see a lactation consultant... they are worth the $$!

Richelle - posted on 02/26/2009

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First of all, its noone's business. Your child is healthy and getting what he/she needs...isn't that really what's most important? You have nothing to feel guilty about. Just because you don't breastfeed does not mean you are not a good mother.

Jennie - posted on 02/26/2009

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Ooooh, do I know how you feel! My milk never fully came down and, not knowing that, my kid ended up in the hospital for a week for "failure to thrive."  They ran all sorts of tests on him until they realized he was actually starving.  Once we started him on formula, he was fine.  I tried to keep feeding him what little breastmilk i had but, I'm guessing because it was too much effort for too little payoff, he just stopped breastfeeding altogether.  The change once he went onto formula, tho,was amazing.  He went from being this sad, scrawny, shrieking baby to being a brighteyed, happy, affectionate kid.  I never thought I'd have the type of baby that people stop in their tracks to compliment and, when they do, I often think of those scrawny starvation days.  I always wanted to get him a shirt to wear that says, "Everything You See, I Owe to Enfamil."



Its tough because not only do family and friends (and strangers) give you a hard time, but all the posters in the doctor's offices, the articles in the magazines, everything is designed to encourage breastfeeding--which is great but not when its at the emotional expense of those of us who can't.  One of my best friends and I almost got into a fight because she was saying the free formula kits they give you at hospitals should be illegal because they "undermine" breastfeeding.  Of course, she had so much breastmilk coming in that she donated the leftover to preemies at her local hospital.  I argued that even if you breastfeed, a can of formula is like a fire extinguisher--good to have on hand if you need it and best to have around even if you don't.  Formula is expensive and I was very happy to have those free cans come in!



And, since I'm already ranting, formula is expensive, but don't let anyone give you the line that breastfeeding is free: $150 for a pump, $25 each for nursing bras--breastfeeding is a great thing but don't tell me there's not a racket aspect to it because there is, and I totally got sucked into it, little knowing that I'd be spending precious money on stuff that I would only use for 2 months.



I'm sorry to go on and on and I really have no advice beyond a reminder that the whole bottle era will be over soon and, with it, alot of the unwarranted flak you've been getting.  Keep in mind that the folks giving you a hard time probably mean well.  If that doesnt work (and sometimes it won't) just remember that you are a great Mom who makes sure that her girl gets what she needs to be healthy and strong.

Samantha - posted on 02/26/2009

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I tired breast-feeding my daughter when she was born, but even the lactation consultant had a very hard time getting her to latch. When she was 1 week old she had lost 1 pound, and I was forced to bottle feed her. I tried pumping, and I never seemed to make enough milk pumping, so when she was a month old, she went 100% formula. Her Ped. was actually very supportive for her bottle feeding, but the guilt I felt was so unbearable I actually fell into a depression.

My daughter is going to be 3 next month, and tho she is a little petite, it's only because she is supposed to be that way (my husband's side of the family has rather petite women), she is extordinairly strong and healthy.

I am sorry to hear that you are not getting 100% support for having to bottle feed, but just know that it is not anything that is going to hurt her, and when people citizise you for not breast-feeding, do not let it get to you. You did the best you could, and it is absolutely NOT YOUR FAULT that you had an extrodinarily hard time producing milk, and remember, not every woman can make milk, or breast feed because of invirted nipples or damaged glands, or any number of problems that have absolutely fault of their own.

Anne - posted on 02/26/2009

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i bottle fed my little one because i didnt feel comfortable about breast feeding and he is fine so i think people need to realise that although all the nutrients are in breast milk they still get what they require from bottled milk otherwise they would not sell the formula.

Lisa - posted on 02/26/2009

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both my kids were bottle fed, neither one of them are sickly, and both of them are just as smart and healthy as a breast fed child... who ever criticised you does not seem to want to respect YOUR choices as a mother . My feeling would be to take what ever they say with a grain of salt. There were always people in my life who would try and tell me what would be best for my child, If I didn't trust my own judgement my kids would not be who they are today. trust in yourself.. You are the mom... Good luck

Vicki - posted on 02/26/2009

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Hey u ignore them its ur baby u had no choice.I woz bottled fed,am fine now.I bottled fed my little boy from day one without considering breast feeding.He's 18 mths old now and growning fine and healthy.If formula woz that bad for babies why would they make it and sell it....?? Just people who's got nowt better to do wif there sad little lifes that stick there hore in2 ur buissnes.Chin up girl ur not doing anything wrong.

[deleted account]

There is nothing wrong with feeding a child formula. What people fail to realize that just b/c you CAN breastfeed doesn't mean that your baby is getting all of the vitamins and nutrients that they need. You have to drink lots of water and eat small healthy meals several times a day. Lots of women who breastfeed think they're great just b/c they are breastfeeding but most of those women still eat and drink things they shouldn't.

Maxine - posted on 02/26/2009

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I couldn't breast feed my daughter, she was too keen and wouldn't latch on properly so i found it really painful and both me and my daughter were getting very frustrated. Although at first I felt as a bit of a faliure as a new mom, but i soon realised that bottle feeding has so many advantages. My daughter is almost 5 years old now and I can safely say bottle feeding has done her no harm at all!!!

Just remember everyone has got their own opinion on what a 'good' mom is, and regardless of what you do someone somewhere is going to criticise you. As long as you and your little one are happy and healthy who cares what anyone else thinks!!

Take care x

Teri - posted on 02/26/2009

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As long as your baby is happy I don't see what peoples problems are.I had to bottle feed after having eclampsia and ending up in ICU loosing 8 pints of blood, my daughter is 11 now is a healthy well balanced girl.People seem to think you can't bond as well when you don't breast feed.RUBBISH, New Mums have enough pressure, as long as you and your baby are ok, keep doing things your own way, keep smiling and enjoy your baby they grow up so quick,put other comments where they belong (In the Trash)

Katie - posted on 02/26/2009

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hey i also struggled with breastfeeding! my milk came through after about 4 days, but my daughter was 5 weeks premature and wouldnt latch on to the breast! it was really frustrating. i expressed breast milk until my daughter was 10weeks old and it was really tiring yet i still felt guilty when i stopped and put her on formula! the thing is tho, we shouldnt feel guilty coz at least our children are still getting fed, loved and are well! your daughter will still be doing as amazingly as she would have on breast milk so please dont stress about it! proffesionals think they know everything but half of the time, they dont!

Joanne - posted on 02/26/2009

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I felt very guilty after 3 and a half months of perserverance of trying to breast feed but I just didn't have enough milk for my youngest child. I would feed her, she wouldn't settle and was putting on very little weight. I started to get depressed from lack of sleep due to an unsettled baby and not being able to produce milk even after eating all the foods recommended by the lactation consultant. I decided to formula feed my baby and for the first time in 3 and a half months she actually slept all night. We both started to get the sleep that we needed and she started to gain weight and grow like how she should. I then had a happy baby and that made me happy! A child health nurse helped me out by asking if anyone had a sign on their forehead saying if they were breastfed or bottlefed.



The one thing that I really noticed with both of my babies is that when I did bottlefeed them, they had both loooked into my eyes the whole time that they were feeding and I would look at their eyes and talk and sing to them. The look is so intense and you know that your baby is feeling loved and secure. No one can ever take those moments away from you or remove the joy that you feel from sharing that special bond with your baby!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/26/2009

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Dear Zowie,

I breast fed my oldest daughter for a long long time. ANd wanted to do the same with my second. However, little Charlotte showed up at 26 weeks. I pumped i meditated I did visualization I listened to recorded baby crying...but after 60 days in NICU, and I was down to a trickle but still had it, I brought her home...and My milk dried up . It was heartwrenching as Im sure not being able to feed your baby in this manner was for you too. Some people can be so cruel. Some were to me. I couldnt feed her because she was premie, so I pumped and when I finally got her home, I couldnt feed her because, the body eventually does not produce without a baby around. Here is the thing, you are her mother...you love her, you give her the best you can give her, so all those other people can go jump in the lake. Find a professional who will support you first off...tell the public to keep their opinions to themselves, they don't know you to critisize, and as for friends, sometimes even they need a very pointed, very direct remark to put them in the right frame of mind. I told my friends who gave me a hard time, "If you knew what I went through, and knew how broken hearted I was when I couldn't breastfeed my baby, you would not be so cruel to me". It shut every one of them up. And I got more support from them...everyone puts so much emphasis on the child and mother bond and that breastfeeding is the way you do that and blah blah blah...its not true. My premie girl is healthy, smart, feisty and we are completely devoted to one another. Not having breast milk, honestly, hurt ME, not her. Don't frown on yourself Zowie, you are a good mom, and you are doing the best for your baby...tell the rest to go hang themselves.

Kaori - posted on 02/26/2009

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You're really lucky to have such a great support system, and if you don't need it outside of your family that's great! As far as breatfeeding, if you couldn't help what can you do, even if you chose not to breast feed when you could've, that's your choice, who cares what other people think. An this is coming from a mo who breast fed both her kids. =)

Debbie 'Kelly' - posted on 02/25/2009

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My daughter came early....emergency C section, they thought she wouldn't make it so didn't start me pumping.  My milk never really came in either.  I was more concerned about her not getting breast milk.  The nurses and doctors in the NICU were so supportive, they were the ones who told me that there was nothing wrong with giving my daughter formula (in fact it has everything a child needs).  I still pumped what little I could (very, very tiring and trying) and she was fed my milk supplemented mostly by formula.  Don't stress about it...your child needs you happy and stress free.  Don't let anyone tell you that you are doing something wrong.  Give your baby love, comfort and food   (formula or breast milk) and everything will work out fine!!!

Shawna - posted on 02/25/2009

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SORRY SOME OF THAT DIDNT MAKE ANY SENSE, MY SON WAS TALKING TO ME AND I LOST MY CONCENTRATION. LOL. OK...WETHER U CANT OR CHOOSE NOT TO, ITS YOUR CHOICE. U ARE DOING A FINE JOB.

Shawna - posted on 02/25/2009

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I HAD A BREAST REDUCTION WHEN I WAS 16, AND WAS TOLD THAT I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO BREAST FEED, MY 3 KIDS ALL WERE BOTTLE FED, BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT LATCH ON PROPERLY AND DIDNT GET ANY, AND BECAUSE BMY LAST BABY WAS IN THE NCIU FOR A WEEK AND I DIDNT SEE HER TILL THE SECOND DAY, BECAUSE I HEMERAGED REAL BAD AFTER THE C SECTION AND I ALMOST DIED, I WAS ON ALOT OF PAIN KILLERS, ANYWSAY, SOMETIMES THERE ARE CERCOMSTANSES WHY U CANNOT BREAST FEED, AND THATS OK, WEATHER YOU CANT OR NOT TO, ITS YOUR CHOICE, YOU ARE THE MOM AND ITS YOUR BABY AND TELL EVERYONE ELSE TO BUGGER OFF, U ARE DOING A RINE JOB, AS LONG AS UR BABY IS HAPPY AND HEALTHY, ITS FINE.

Angela - posted on 02/25/2009

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Hi there, I have had the same problem with both my kids my daughter couldnt be feed because she was born with the mumps so she went on to bottle straight away. When i had my Son i was detemined to breast feed but once again i couldnt he wasnt getting enough from me and wanted more all the time and now at only 2 1/2 mths old i am putting a teaspoon of Farex cereal in his bottles now instead of feeding every 2 hrs (180mls) he is eating every 4-5 hrs. Dont feel bad as long as bub is getting everthing they need then its not you with the problem its everyone else. Keep your chin up.

Janet - posted on 02/25/2009

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As long as you and your baby is healthy and happy then that is what matters. If you for whatever reason cannot or don't want to breast feed.. (in your case can't) then you shouldn't be pushed into it or looked down on. You didn't have a choice to bottle feed so all those people that are putting their 2 cents in should just give you a break. You have so many other concerns right now then putting up with peoples attitudes. We had tried EVERYTHING to get our son to suckle properly and he never could latch on. It also didn't help that the nursery (against our wishes) gave him a bottle before we could start with the breast feeding. I had to have an emergency c section so we couldn't breastfeed right away. We called for a lactation nurse to come and maybe give us some pointers on the whole breastfeeding thing. She came while we were still in the hospital and proceeded to grab my breast and practically pulled it off, smashed it around and shoved it into my babys mouth. She was pretty persistant about the breastfeeding and we tried it the whole time we were there but he started to lose weight so we decided to stick with the bottle. Just don't feel guilty about how you are feeding your baby. You know the circumstances and the reasons why you are bottlefeeding. No one elses opinions matter.

Zowie - posted on 02/25/2009

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I dont want this to sound mean but alot of you are talking about this La Leche League.. I am from australia so i dont know what it is exactly.. but the impression i am getting is that they are extremely pushy with breastfeeding. They dont sound like they have open minds about mums not being able to breastfeed. and im sorry but i think that is mean and very closed hearted.



My recent experience learning I couldn't produce enough milk for my daughter has taught me that this is what happend and i have to deal with it. And having to hear the nurses and pediatricians tell me that I am depriving my daughter of the best nourishment she can get, is hurtful but i get over it pretty quick.



So as for this LLL place I praise that they can help mums who can BF. But if they frown upon mums who choose not to or just cant BF then I think it is just sad.

Shelly - posted on 02/25/2009

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I had problems with both my children. With the first, I worked with the lactation specialist and even took 15 pills a day to increase my supply. after 2 weeks of doing this along with pumping every feeding and supplementing, even the specialist told me to stop. I was looked at funny, but just reminded myself that in the past most kids were formula fed. both my boys are healthy and happy, that is all that matters to me. good luck!!!

Rachel - posted on 02/25/2009

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I know exactly what you mean i had everyone tell me that breast is best but i had a lactaion problem and i just could'nt breastfeed any of mine. I tried for months and months and i tried everything on the market to help but nothing helped. I actually had people tell me that i was a bad mother because i was not giving my child the best possible start to life, with my first these comments were the ones that really hurt but after i had my second i would just tell people to keep their opinions to them selves as they dont know what is best for my child because if i tried to keep breastfeeding my children would have starved because i just did'nt lactate. So all of mine were bottled fed and if you feel like your doing the right thing for your baby the to hell with everyone who has a problem with it. Good luck with it all and don't let others opinions get you down i'm sure your a great mum.

Sharon - posted on 02/25/2009

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You don't have to breast feed to be a good Mom. It is no ones business how you choose to feed your baby anyway. I breast fed my oldest and bottle fed the two youngest, because I had to go back to work soon after, to a job that really did not allow me to pump. Relax and enjoy your little one and don't listen to people who don't treat you like you are a good Mom.

Llayne - posted on 02/25/2009

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ummm tell em to go jump



 



really its your choice your kid u do what u like...... just as same as u dress it the way u want .. ur a are the boss  , not them !!!!!

Brenda - posted on 02/25/2009

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Quoting Brenda:



Quoting Zowie:

I get criticised for bottle feeding my baby even though I had no choice to.

My milk didnt come in untill day 6 and that was only after ther OB put me on the motilium to help bring it in. So for the first 6 days of her life she was bottle fed. Then i tried to breastfeed but it was not filling her up enough and then my milk completely stopped after a week. So now because she is 100% formula fed I get frowned upon and treated badly by not only professionals but also every day mambers of the public and even friends.
If anyone has any past or present experiences like this or even just something to help, please post.





To each, mind your own business!! My daughter breast fed till she was 13 months old. My son was a c-section baby, same position, my milk was not in and he was bottle fed for the first 3 days, even after my milk came in he wanted the bottle. I found it was a night time thing with him for onlay about 1 month. Unless they have been in your situation they will not know. Stand tall and good luck! My son is a rather healthy 4 year old. He did not suffer!





 

Brenda - posted on 02/25/2009

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Quoting Zowie:

I get criticised for bottle feeding my baby even though I had no choice to.

My milk didnt come in untill day 6 and that was only after ther OB put me on the motilium to help bring it in. So for the first 6 days of her life she was bottle fed. Then i tried to breastfeed but it was not filling her up enough and then my milk completely stopped after a week. So now because she is 100% formula fed I get frowned upon and treated badly by not only professionals but also every day mambers of the public and even friends.
If anyone has any past or present experiences like this or even just something to help, please post.


To each, mind your own business!! My daughter breast fed till she was 13 months old. My son was a c-section baby, same position, my milk was not in and he was bottle fed for the first 3 days, even after my milk came in he wanted the bottle. I found it was a night time thing with him for onlay about 1 month. Unless they have been in your situation they will not know. Stand tall and good luck! My son is a rather healthy 4 year old. He did not suffer!

Shannon - posted on 02/25/2009

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Hi, I just had a little girl December 8th. And I had milk that came in, but i chose not to breastfeed. Her doctor told me that it was fine by all means. I feel that she gets the same through the formula as my breastmilk.  I just use the Doctor Brown bottles, and my baby is healthy and growing fine!!! :))))) So ddont be sad, when someone says something to you, let them know that your child is growing fine and healthy and perfect and thats all that matters =))

Veronica - posted on 02/25/2009

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Don't let other people get to you. The same thing happened to me. Benjamin is a very healthy and happy child.

Debi - posted on 02/25/2009

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You need to do what is best for YOUR baby and YOUR family. You will ask 10 people and get 10 different answers. God gives each mom special instincts for their children. If your baby is happy and doing well on formula, then don't worry what others say. It is "Their" problem. Best thing for your baby is to have a happy, loving, mommy and daddy and less stress.

When people want to "offer" their advice, just smile at them and then do what works best for YOUR family.

Kate - posted on 02/25/2009

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I wasn't able to breastfeed either. I was able to pump and feed him that way but I dried up quickly within about 5 weeks. Don't let people get to you. I am so tired of these Breastfeeding  groups that try to make you feel guilty for something your body couldn't do. It wasn't meant to be. And a healthy baby is all that matters. Ignore the stupidy of others.

[deleted account]

Tell people to mind they're own buisness. It's not like your not feeding your baby. Alot of people choose to bottle feed over breast anyway. Your true friends should support you no matter what your choices are. People should not be so judgemental and those who are are miserable in their own lives and by looking down on you it makes their pathetic lives look better in  their own eyes. If you know your tryin to be the best mom you can be then forget what everyone thinks. Love every minute with your baby because they grow up way to quick.....

Anna - posted on 02/25/2009

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How you feed your baby is really no ones business except yours and you shouldn't have to defend it. You tried to breast feed, it didn't work so now you are using the only option left and I'm sure that your daughter is healthy, happy and loved. Nothing else matters.

Sharla - posted on 02/25/2009

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My kids are both adopted and I experienced the same reactions from people when I bottle fed in public. Keep in mind that it is really nobody's business but yours and you are doing what is best for you and your baby. Hang in there!

[deleted account]

You don't owe anyone any explanations. You don't have to explain why you can't BF. If someone says something just respond "It's your business because???" or "This affects you how??" I've always believed if someone made a smart aleck comment then sometimes they deserve a smart aleck answer. As long as you are doing the best for your baby, that's all that matters!

Renee - posted on 02/25/2009

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It's sooooo nice 2 hear that i not alone! I went thru something simular with my daughter. She was in special care 4 a week n 4 tha 1st 2 days of her life she was on a drip. Then after that she was tube fed 4 another 2 days n by tha time i got 2 breastfeed her she would constantly fall asleep on tha boob! When i finally got her 2 feed it lasted all of 2 days n that was IT! I wasnt producing enough 4 her n she was never settled or satisfied so i made tha tuff decision to bottle feed her n she has never been happier! I say wateva works for u n ur bub, go 4 it! All these people that critsize (mostly otha mums im sure) should know how tuff it is 2 be a first time mum n should agree that wateva u need to do for ur child n yourself is tha best, no matter wat shape or form u do it in! Be proud that ur givin ur bub all it needs to be a happy n healthy baby!

Abbie - posted on 02/25/2009

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I didn't have good luck Breastfeeding either. I tried and tried and tried. IT just didn't work. My lactation consultant looked at me after 6 weeks of struggling and said "Our Ultimate Goal as MOMs is to feed our babies..........by bottle or breast!" It was the best advice I ever had too. It makes no difference how you feed your baby. And those that have a problem with it. The hell with them. Don't worry!! You can only do wha tyou can do. And if feeding your baby with a bottle is what you need to do, then GREAT! There are worse things out there then bottle feeding formula! Don't worry honey!! It will be ok!

Kristina - posted on 02/25/2009

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My milk never came through at all. I only got about half a milliletre of colostrum come out and that was after 3 midwives and myself tried to get the milk out. After then using a breast pump for about 2 days and nothing happened one of the midwives said that maybe it wasn't meant to be. That was the best thing that she said to me. I felt all this pressure and frustration lift off my shoulders and I could start to bond with my daughter than feel frustration that I had to try to bring in the milk. I don't allow anyone to even start to criticise me. I just stop and tell them that my milk never came through and I had no choise. I ususally say to them, did you want me to starve my child and that usually shuts them up. My daughter is a healthy 7 months old now and she has thrived better than breast fed babies in my mothers group. Solids were started at 4 months and I never had any issues with it. I didn't want her to be formula fed, but at the end of the day, I had no choice.

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