I get criticised for bottle feeding my baby even though I had no choice to.

Amy - posted on 02/25/2009

You shouldn't feel guilty! It wasn't your fault! I breast-fed my daughter for the first month of her life because I felt pressurised to. Although i enjoyed the closeness and bonding time that it provided, it was a tough time. She would want feeding every 2 hours day and night because she wasn't gettin enough milk and it was leaving both me and her exhausted and frustrated! I couldn't get her to latch on properly. In the end a friend and fellow mum suggested i should try her on 'Farleys' formula milk and i dont regret it for one minute! I was able to tell exactly how much she was getting and knew it was filling her up. She began having longer gaps between her feeds and slept better. Both of us were much happier. She is now nearly 4 years old and is at pre-school. She is as bright as a button and i dont think its made any difference to her what-so-ever! If i had another child i would try breastfeeding again but wouldn't feel guilty if i had to bottle feed. I think formula milk is virtually as good these days.

Ashley - posted on 02/25/2009

ok, in the quote i meant not bottle fed. makes more sense that way!

Ashley - posted on 02/25/2009

People can be so rude! I bottle fed my baby from the moment she was born. I just couldn't do the breast feeding...to be honest it scared me. Bottle feeding allowed my husband bonding time with her, as well as got her used to other people who would feed her. She's not shy at all now! With formula, my daughter is extremely healthy. (Knock on wood) in all 10 months of her life she's only been to the doctor (other than her regular check ups) once for a ear infection, shortly after she started daycare. Formula is just as good as breastmilk, especially nowadays and I can't believe that anyone would criticize you for doing that. I've gotten frowned at by my employer's wife when I mention bottle feeding, and I just say "well, my daughter hasn't been sick half as much as your daughter, who is bottle fed". Sounds mean, but they shut up and don't mention it again! :) Hope things get better for you!!

Annie - posted on 02/25/2009

you cant control nature, amd neither can anyone else. My children were all bottle fed...strait A students i might add.Tell em to back off!

Shauna - posted on 02/25/2009

We had midwives when our little girl was born and I'll I heard was "breast is best".  Well, after 10 days of trying to breastfeed, lots of crying and pain, I finally gave up as my milk didn't come in.  They acted like I had done something horrible when I gave her a bottle.  I kept my sanity thank you very much!  Seems everyone has an opinion and at the end of the day you need to do what is best for you, your baby and your family.  Oh yeah, she was 10 pounds so she was HUNGRY! 

Nancy - posted on 02/25/2009

I could not breast feed my first and my midwife was not helpful but my mam and sisters were and my daughter as grown as fit as my other 4 that I beast fed. my midwife said it would make our bond less but there is no difference . dont beat your self up over it your little girl is happy health and loved and thats what is really important xx

Nancy - posted on 02/25/2009

I could not breast feed my first and my midwife was not helpful but my mam and sisters were and my daughter as grown as fit as my other 4 that I beast fed. my midwife said it would make our bond less but there is no difference . dont beat your self up over it your little girl is happy health and loved and thats what is really important xx

Jennifer - posted on 02/25/2009

My problem was different I am anaminic and thus if I feed my babies breat milk they would have to have had iron supplements. My husband and I made the choice that was best for us and put our children on formula. It worked out great because everyone could help feed the babies and they enjoyed it. When people said anything to me I just looked at them and reliazed that some times people say things without realizing what is happening and they made remakes to fit in when they shouldn't.

As long as you are your baby are healthy and happy that all that matters. Just look away when they say something.

Have a great day day

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2009

ya know i feel the same way, everyone is telling me what to do all the time since i got pregnant with my second child. telling me what i should and shouldn't do and how bad it was that my first was breast fed. I never got milk till late... and the doctor said that because i had such a horrible low iron count (and low calcium) bottle feeding would probably be better for both me and my son. But its mostly the child-care people doing it, i do agree. frowning upon you if you dont do what they want you to.

I say screw em, its your kid. as long as its growing and healthy then just tell them to go suck an egg.

Lauren - posted on 02/25/2009

Yes, alot of people including the la leche league are brainwashing women into thinking they have to breastfeed like there is no other choice.

Lynette - posted on 02/25/2009

I think that moms in general need to be more supportive of each other. We need to stop judging each other and comparing ourselves to everyone else. Sometimes what works for one person will not work for another. That being said, we can't help how other people react to us, so it's best to just not worry about it. Good luck to you!

Saira - posted on 02/25/2009

well.. i have breast fed my daughter for 2 years and i plan to feed my son for that long as well.. but it was a very easy thing for me .. ..my siste rinlaw had trouble with milk when she had her second baby and it was emotinally very hard for her so if some one thinks they are more concerned for your child then you ,they have some issues.....i believe every one is not meant to have the same experiences but not breast feeding does not make you a bad parent and you should know this ... you should not need the approval of people ..and tell them .. if they are friends they should understnd how you feel about the whole issue not how they feel...

cheers

User - posted on 02/25/2009

Hi there - sorry I haven't read through all of your replies, so I may be duplicating. But I just wanted to give you my support as well. While I agree it is in our design to breast feed and it can be the best thing. I do believe God created all things, which includes formula! I have four children, all beyond nursing age, and well they lived and they have no allergies to food, and only a little to pollen (like the rest of the world). They are thriving, ones an honor student, the others excel. All bottle fed. I think we have to realize the world we live in is very trendy and now the trend is breast feeding. So rise above the trend, enjoy the freedom of bottle feeding and if you have another and it works out for ya to breast feed go for it. If not, be glad too and go for it w/a bottle in hand. And remember your experience so you can be an encouragement to another new mom who is being looked down upon from 'above' LOL... Congratulations on your beautiful baby!!! God bless!!!

User - posted on 02/25/2009

Hi there - sorry I haven't read through all of your replies, so I may be duplicating. But I just wanted to give you my support as well. While I agree it is in our design to breast feed and it can be the best thing. I do believe God created all things, which includes formula! I have four children, all beyond nursing age, and well they lived and they have no allergies to food, and only a little to pollen (like the rest of the world). They are thriving, ones an honor student, the others excel. All bottle fed. I think we have to realize the world we live in is very trendy and now the trend is breast feeding. So rise above the trend, enjoy the freedom of bottle feeding and if you have another and it works out for ya to breast feed go for it. If not, be glad too and go for it w/a bottle in hand. And remember your experience so you can be an encouragement to another new mom who is being looked down upon from 'above' LOL... Congratulations on your beautiful baby!!! God bless!!!

Shirley - posted on 02/25/2009

Quoting Zowie:

I get criticised for bottle feeding my baby even though I had no choice to.

My milk didnt come in untill day 6 and that was only after ther OB put me on the motilium to help bring it in. So for the first 6 days of her life she was bottle fed. Then i tried to breastfeed but it was not filling her up enough and then my milk completely stopped after a week. So now because she is 100% formula fed I get frowned upon and treated badly by not only professionals but also every day mambers of the public and even friends.
If anyone has any past or present experiences like this or even just something to help, please post.

hiya zowie,I tried to breast feed both of my two girls now aged 3yr and 2yrs,I wanted to do everything as natural as possible,.but they only got the colostrum and my milk wasnt flowing fast enough,.I gave up in the end,as I was sick of been groped by the midwifes telling me I wasnt doing it right,and one new better than the other,I used to dread feeding my daughter as they used to come in everytime she cried.in the end I went on to bottles,that way my hubby could do his bit,even though he never got up in the night,.lol just ignore those comments I no its easier said than done,.di whats best for you and your children,its different for everyone shirley

Donna - posted on 02/25/2009

Don't let people get to you about bottle feeding your kids. I have 2 boys 23 and 14 they were both bottle fed and they are very healthy. My 23 year old is 6"2 and 245 pounds and my 14 year old id 6' and he is 145 pounds . I did not breast feed by choice.They are perfectly healthy.

Lauren - posted on 02/25/2009

Yes, alot of people including the la leche league are brainwashing women into thinking they have to breastfeed like there is no other choice.

Tina - posted on 02/25/2009

I think it's totally inappropriate for any medical professional to make you feel uncomfortable for not breastfeeding, regardless of the reasons why. Or anyone else for that matter. Ignore the haters! I, too, could not produce breast milk because I lost so much blood during my daughter's birth. Luckily the nurses in the hospital loaded us up with some formula samples. I had nothing at home because I had been brainwashed into thinking breast feeding was the only way and that everyone could do it. My pediatrician did say I should limit my daughter to 1/2 oz of formula and "keep trying". Which I did for 2 wks. Finally, after the second week of my poor daughter crying because she was hungry and me crying because I was stuck to an empty breast pump all the time, I hung up my breast feeding hat and went all bottle all the time. All the nutrients your baby needs are in the formula. Don't be guilty...my daughter is a beautiful, happy and very intelligent 3 year old. Do what is best for you!

Lauren - posted on 02/25/2009

I even proudly state that fact that my childrern were formula fed.  I think there is something wrong when mothers and doctors frown on women who don't breastfed as a choice.

We need to let the mothers know that not breastfeeding is okay too.

Lauren - posted on 02/25/2009

I never breastfed, I didn't even try.  I am against breastfeeding actually, but I honor every mother who does and succeeds.  I even think that if you can't afford formula then breastfeeding is best.  However, my body belongs to me and I don't like the idea of having to share it with anyone.  I don't care how that sounds.  I know that my chidren are thriving and neither one was breastfed. 

Katherine - posted on 02/25/2009

People need to just mind their own business. How do they not know that it isnt breast milk in the bottle. I figure it this way either breast milk or formula is best for kids. People need to stop worrying about what someone else is doing with their kids and worry about them and their kids. People who are formula fed are just as smart as breast fed people. You are doing what is best for your child and no matter what anyone else says the baby will thrive. With my daughter I couldnt breast feed at all because of meds I had to go on right away after her birth. She is a very smart 2 year old. With my son I wanted to try to breast feed him and we spent 2 horrible days trying to get him to latch and eat. He lost almost a full lb and we tried everything we could. The second day we were there I finally broke down because his jaundice was getting worse, he was loosing alot of weight to and it just wasnt working. I switched to formula and he is eating like a champ. He is almost 2 months old and eating 5oz or more at a time now.

Tanya - posted on 02/25/2009

I understand what you are going through, I was very well over due with my daughter who is 5 months old now, and plus i had a c-section, when i left the hospital and came home, my daughter was hungry and I nothing still, so 2 AM my husband went to go get formula after i called the doctor and my milk never did come in, when i was in the hospital she just had colostrum. My doctor called the next day to see how it was going and i told her nothing came yet and she suggested several things to try to get to come but nothing happened...so my baby was a bottle baby, and some people questioned the fact of why my milk didn't come in but i just told them that it just didn't and that's why she is on formula. I would try not to take it too much to heart, it's what you had to do for the best of your baby and that is what you can tell people that.

Gretchen - posted on 02/25/2009

Tell them nothing just ignore the idiots that have no idea why you are doing things the way you are. I was lucky enough to get DS to BF for 10 months and guess what I had people asking me when I was going to wean him off. "He's getting a little big for that, isn't he?" So it is on both ends. Morons abound when you are pregnant or have a newborn. I was adamant about no pacifier or water when DS was born. It was tough but we got through it. I hate to hear of any woman being made to feel badly because of what they are doing.

Lisa - posted on 02/25/2009

You're taking care of YOUR baby---- it doesn't matter HOW the baby gets fed ---- my first son wouldn't latch on - I wasn't eating , I wasn't producing milk, I felt like I was a failure of a mom if Icouldn't even breastfeed---- then after 16 days of trying non stop breastfeeding, worry and self torment over this - we went full time on bottle feeding formula--- There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO FEEL SOMEONE ELSE 'S OPINION ABOUT YOU AND YOUR BABY IS ANY OF THEIR BUSINESS!!!!! My second child latched on no problem and I was able to breastfeed til he was 3 months old.   The decision to breastfeed or bottle feed is up to YOU the baby's parent---- not someone else.   Don't feel bad about your decision and don't feel like you need to justify it--- You are doing what you need to do.... Taking the best care of your baby!!!!   Tell people to mind their own business and they can try their own techniques with their own children, that you and your family have a game plan and it's working out just fine!!!   ( BTW- my baby's dr. had said there is absolutely nothing wrong with being bottle fed - and especially nowadays there are SO many things added for their health - he said "I was fed formula and I turned out ok - I'm even a doctor, so it can't be ALL that bad! :D  )   Good Luck trying not to worry about what others think of you as a parent - you're doing a fine job!

Tarrie - posted on 02/25/2009

Ultimately you have to do what is best for you and your baby. Would people rather that your baby go hungry? I have three kids and I formula fed them all. If it was SO bad for our babies, companies would not make it in the first place.

I cant stand that everyone tries to put in their two sense every time we have a baby. Get a hobbie and leave us Moms alone!

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2009

My response to everyone is... would you like my baby to starve?????....... It's very hard to hear people constantly going on about how to raise YOUR baby. There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding, if it wasn't good for your baby then they wouldn't make it and sell it! I have had 3 girls now aged between 8 & 2 and with all three of them I had plenty of milk for the first 2 - 4 weeks then after that I just didn't produce much at all. I expressed, did all the treatments that everyone suggested but in the end my midwife said that some people just don't produce milk end of story. I am due to be induced this Saturday with my 4th baby and already I have bottles and formula ready for when I need it. Some people just need to mind there own business, you know what is right for your child and no one else should make you feel bad for any decisions you make.

Celeena - posted on 02/25/2009

I'm with everyone else. Who cares what other people say. It's not like you didn't want to or didn't even try. You did what you could and that's all that matters.

Chryledine - posted on 02/25/2009

I just wanted to tell you that I think it is wrong for anyone to make you feel bad for not breat feeding. Not everyone can breat feed! These days there are some really good formula's out there. Tell all the people who have a problem with your decision, thanks for your advice, but I'm doing what's best for my baby and me!!! Get a different doctor, your pediatrician is supposed to be part of your support system.

Priscilla - posted on 02/25/2009

Nobody has criticised me about this..well at least not to my face! heh. I only fed my son for a week and a half. I wasn't producing alot of milk and I just gave up fast. I do feel bad about it because I always hear that you have to keep trying and it will eventually come out. Anyhow, my son is now almost 4 yrs. old and he is more healthy and active than other kids I know who were only breastfed! Don't worry about this, or what other people say. YOU being concerned is enough! I'm now pregnant with my second child and will try to breastfeed but if it dosen't happen..it's A OK!

Shannon - posted on 02/25/2009

Hi there, I came across this on the home page and really wanted to comment. I breastfed my son until he was 4 months, he latched on great, my milk came in great, BUT.. He got sick after every feed. By the time he was finished, he was already vomiting, hiccuping and pulling his knees violently to his chest. I was told to continue breastfeeding because it could be just colic. (First three months-- most everything is attributed to colic) well..after those 3 months, nothing changed. He was steadily getting worse. It was hell. I stopped eating anything and everything that could have possibly been the problem, and nothing helped. Eventually, we came to the concensus with our doctor, that our son was lactose intolerant, and even the 10% lactose in human milk was affecting him. I, too, was criticized. Not so much by friends, SOME family, but most definitely, public-health nurses. Our doctor was great, he informed me that, breastmilk is great, and ideal, but that formula is just as good. Only in 3rd world countries, I quote, is formula a problem because water supplies are not always up to healthy standards... My doctor and mom, made me feel MUCH better.  I honestly couldn't believe though, the rude and judgemental ways that some (not all) public health nurses would speak to me. My husband at one of our sons vaccinations actually got offended and told the nurse exactly what he thought about the judgemental tone in her voice when asked if I were breastfeeding. Every woman does what she can, and some of us were and are not able to breastfeed and should not feel guilty for it. I'm sorry that you've had to go through the guilt-trips and saddness associated with not breastfeeding. I, remember that feeling like it was yesterday. I cried for days because I felt that I was doing my son wrong by not being able to breastfeed him. Hang in there, and soon you'll find the strength in you to tell the people that judge you, to kindly back off.

I can understand a mother being judged for doing her child harm.. but formula-feeding???Give me a break!

Sincerely,

Shannon

Inger - posted on 02/25/2009

Quoting Carol:

You just can't win :) Having done both, I found that people are equally rude either way.

So true! Why do people have to dump on moms when they (we) are all doing the best we can. A person who really cared about a baby wouldn't add to mama's stress--that's guaranteed to be bad for baby. I exclusively bf my first until she was two, and she self-weaned slowly over about six months. My second has been harder and we struggled since I went back to work when she was 8 weeks. She was all about the easiest thing, and that was the bottle. She started rejecting the breast when I was home with her at four months...tried nurse-ins, bottles with tiniest holes, everything the LLL leader suggested. She just didn't want it. Now I do a combination of pumping and formula. It makes me sad that we don't have the same feeding relationship as I did with my first, but she is just as much my snugglebug and she is just as cuddly. I grieved for a while but now I am over it, realizing we just do what we can in the circumstances we're in.

Jodie - posted on 02/25/2009

ignore everyone! ignorant people aren't worth your concern! i tried to breastfeed my son who was 4 weeks early and he wasn't taking it. everyone said that it was just because he was early and that he wasn't hungry, but when my doctor said to supplement with the formula, my son drank it like i had starved him for days, which apparently i had because i listened to other people! I don't care what anyone says, breastfeeding is not for everyone and it doesn't come natural to everyone! do what you want to do and like i said before ignore the ignorant people out there!

Katherine - posted on 02/25/2009

My mind is a bit more at ease now when I see that there are so many other mothers who have experienced prejudice when it comes to bottle feeding and understand what it's like. I was made to feel like a terrible mom, especially by the nurses in the hospital when I decided to bottlefeed. I breastfed for almost four weeks with my first, until my breasts were bleeding and I was screaming almost everytime she latched. I have flat/inverted nipples (and very fragile skin which gave her nothing to latch onto). They said that they would come out with massage, but not the case for me. I tried again to breastfeed with my second, but already day one in the hospital at about the thrid feeding, they started to bruise and bleed. The nurses got me a pump, but that hurt just as much (colostrum is not easy to pump either). For the third, I decided before I had her to formula feed for the good of the whole family. I kept changing my mind because everytime I went to the clinic to see the nurses they would try to get me to change my mind. They told me that I would not be close to my baby and she would feel unloved because I breastfed the others for a while. I am aware that breastmilk is better. I would love to have been able to nurse and get a little jealous when I see other moms who stuck it out and can breastfeed. I even read a comment from a pediatrician who said that woman who don't breastfeed don't deserve children! It was so hurtful! Anyway, my kids are very smart, never sick, and I love them more than I can ever explain! There is a group on Circle of Moms called Formula Fed Sweeties, it would be great to have all of you join!

Jennifer - posted on 02/25/2009

All three of my children were jaudiced and all three were BF. One stayed in the hospital and after I was released to go home, the nursery bottle fed him. I came 40 miles, twice a day, each day until he came home to BF him. I was petrified that he would not BF. I was lucky and after a week or so home, we got it together. #1, the nurse took him from me to bottle feed him and threatened to call my commander and report me for abusing her (the nurse). That hatefuk woman was against BF. For #3, the doctor said that much of the extreme jaundice levels have never been proven to cause brain damage and the UV treatments have never been proven to work, as of 11/08. He just said to BF my daughter as much as possible.



But, regardless, mom's are chastized either way, BF or bottle-fed, usually, by other women. It amazes me how many women are hell-bent on judging other women the way they do. I swear, I think if more women supported each other, our world would be better!

Jennifer - posted on 02/25/2009

All three of my children were jaudiced and all three were BF. One stayed in the hospital and after I was released to go home, the nursery bottle fed him. I came 40 miles, twice a day, each day until he came home to BF him. I was petrified that he would not BF. I was lucky and after a week or so home, we got it together. #1, the nurse took him from me to bottle feed him and threatened to call my commander and report me for abusing her (the nurse). That hatefuk woman was against BF. For #3, the doctor said that much of the extreme jaundice levels have never been proven to cause brain damage and the UV treatments have never been proven to work, as of 11/08. He just said to BF my daughter as much as possible.



But, regardless, mom's are chastized either way, BF or bottle-fed, usually, by other women. It amazes me how many women are hell-bent on judging other women the way they do. I swear, I think if more women supported each other, our world would be better!

Sara - posted on 02/25/2009

Zowie, I had much the same problem! I think there is a lot of pressure to breastfeed by doctors, nurses and friends! I know I felt that way. But, my milk didn't come in until day 8 and obviously she needed to be fed before then, so we had to use formula. And once you start a child on formula, that's kind of the kiss of death for breastfeeding, or at least I felt that way. It turned out that we bottle fed her and I supplemented with breast milk. By the time she was 3 months and I went back to work, I had to give up breastfeeding all together because my supply went down so much, and it wasn't great to begin with! Now, I agree that breastfeeding is the best thing, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. I look at it like I gave my daughter the most that I could and something was better than nothing! I will try again with my next child! Don't beat yourself up and try not to worry about what others think. It doesn't matter how a child gets fed, as long as it comes from a place of love! Keep your chin up!

Lisa - posted on 02/25/2009

It is great if you can breast feed, but it just doesn't happen for some of us. If the child is developing fine and everything else in on par keep doing what you are doing. :) Keep your chin up and this too shall pass.

Kari - posted on 02/25/2009

Its no ones place to say your a bad mom for formula feeding your son. I tried to breastfeed for about four weeks. We had problems with latching, thrush and my body would not produce enough milk. Even my lactation specalist told me that it's okay and that I wasnt a bad mommie if I quit. So my son was on formula until he turned a year old. He is perfect and fine and developing well. Tell the friends to piss off and that their are babies out there who have never tasted breastmilk and they are doing just fine. I would find a new peditrician if the doctor is giving you crap (very unprofessional) and who cares what strangers think? I was straight up with a few people that frowned down on me and basically told them off and what my situation was and that it was none of theirr business. Every womans body is different and every child is different. what worked for them doesnt nesscarly work for you and they should go look in a mirror and lecture at themselves instead. You are doing what is best for your child and that is whhat matters most.

Marianne - posted on 02/25/2009

I just wish that Lactation consultants and medical professionals with stop making Moms feel like they are pions for not breastfeeding. I am an RN and yes I love for Mom's to be able to breastfeed, but as anything else it is a personal choice and should be respected as such!!

Marianne - posted on 02/25/2009

Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to feed your child, but sometimes there are no other alternatives then bottle feeding. I had an undiagnosed Hypothyroind disorder acquired during pregnancy so my milk supply was low no matter what I did and had to bottle feed my first after 6 weeks of breastfeeding with supplementation

Julie - posted on 02/25/2009

Some people will criticize you for breast feeding also.  It is a no win situation.  I think you as a mother just need to do what is best for your baby!

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2009

Luckily, I have not been treated as badly as you, but I do know how you feel. My DS was almost kept in the hospital extra because of the weight he lost, because the LC's kept pushing me to breastfeed. I come from a long line of women who do not produce enough milk. Every time we put my DS to breast, he would scream bloody murder and would refuse to take it. Finally, a nurse who understood, told us to just start giving him bottles, and he finally started to gain weight. Unfortunately, I have lost what I thought to be, a couple of good friends online because of my decision to bottle feed. It's sad, but, I feel like I've found out the hard way that the friendship wasn't that strong if they can't understand what DS and I went through during BFing. Hang in there! You are a good mother because of your decision to FF. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Angela - posted on 02/25/2009

That is just too cruel, as if you don't have enough to worry about! You know most of our generation were brought up on formula and we've survived! My sister had the same problem and her babies failed to thrive and she had no alternative but to bottle feed, tell people 'it is what it is' and if they have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all! Have fun with your daughter!

Haley - posted on 02/25/2009

In this country, with so many working mothers and very little extended family help, bottle feeding is the norm.  So I applaud all the mothers who even try to breast feed with such little social support.  As my first daughter came 9 weeks early, she had to stay in the NICU for 6 weeks.  This gave me unlimited daily access to highly trained and experienced lactation consultants.  Even with this help, the process was not easy and alot of pumping was required.  But as my daughter was premature, I was strongly and continuously encouraged and supported in my breastfeeding efforts, which I am very grateful for.  I ended up nursing her for 2 and 1/2 years and am still nursing my second daughter, who is now just 2.  That being said, I would never have been able to do it without all the support (both professional and family) that I've had.  Let me add, I am a stay-at-home mom.  Also, when each daughter was around 15 months, I got a yeast infection in my nipples.  That certainly made me understand how someone just starting out might give up on breast-feeding right away.  Maybe with the right support (which it does not sound like you've had - at least from professionals), you would have been able to nurse.  But then again, maybe this was your body's way of saying it just needs some rest - nursing does take alot out of you.  Either way, the decision is yours and no one has the right to criticize you when either option can raise a healthy baby.

Jennifer - posted on 02/25/2009

The saying "D*mned if you do, and d*mned if you don't" made total sense when I became a mother.  It doesn't matter weather you breastfeed or bottlefeed, cloth or disposable diapers, or any of the other choices we make; there is always someone who thinks that their opinion and way of doing things is the be all and end all.  The 'experts' can't even agree on any of it (or get half of it right).  So, always do what you feel is best for you and yours, and to the rest, if they don't have anything constructive to say, tell them to keep it to themselves. Seriously.  Tell them.  Whether it's your Doctor, your family members, or someone in public.  Tell them that you are doing what is best for you and your baby, and that if they have nothing intelligent to say, just to keep it to themselves. Some people will take you standing up for yourself hard, but that's just too bad for them, you and your baby don't need that kind of senseless grief. (I have had to use this myself, and the individuals never brought the issues up again.)   Enjoy your little one!!!

Monica - posted on 02/25/2009

Not everyone is able to breast feed. I do believe if possible it is the best way to go and I loved that time with my son, but if you were not able to its not your fault. I would just ignore the comments, everyone has oppinions on how to raise children and while some might be helpful and work for you some arnt so just try to ignore it when people make the comments.

User - posted on 02/25/2009

I would tell people to mind there own business. I tried breast feeding my oldest daughter and like you I had no choice to bottle feed. My milk dried up for what reason I don't know. My little girl is now 16 and healthy. I didn't even try with my youngest and she is fine too. I mean breast feeding is very important for more than one reason. But if your body doesn't produce the milk. What else are to you to do. Let your baby starve or let some other woman breast feed your child. I don't think so. Just do what you feel is best for you and your baby. And tell everyone else to be quiet!

Julie - posted on 02/25/2009

I am the mom of a 26 weeker. Needless to say, my milk didn't come in real well. He was born while I was in the psych ward for instability with my bipolar type 2 ("we didn't know she was pregnant" claim the orderlies...) Anyhow, I got out shortly after he was born but had a break in the NICU and I was in the hospital for 10 days. I fought to get a lactation consult while on the floor and started pumping about 2 or 3 days after I was admitted. I fought to get my milk to my baby (they said he couldn't have it b/c I was on meds) but I had them consult in the clinic in Rochester to find out that the benefits outweigh the risks of the particular meds I was one. I pumped every 3-6 hours around the clock and drove 55 minutes one way daily for 14 weeks to deliver it. I took herbals to increase my milk and finally had domperidone compounded to help. My milk was finally coming in when my psychological state worsen and I stopped for MY health. I was put on meds that he couldn't have my milk until he was "term", which would've meant "pump and dump" for > 1 month. I really couldn't do it anymore:( I had a coworker who also intended to BF, she had a double stroke 2 weeks after her daughter was born. The meds she was on were not safe for the baby. Anyhow, her husband was buying formula after work and a guy said something like "don't you know that stuff is horrible for your baby?" I'm glad it wasn't me b/c I think I would've just about taken his head off. I'm lucky b/c my LO is covered under a state aid plan and b/c we mix his preemie formula more concentrated, we have a prescription. I pick up a couple cases every month and a half or so. No body really knows the difference. I have yet to have someone say anything to me when I feed him in public ... I'm sure they'll wish they had kept their nose out of it if they do!



Basically, I did everything I could have to breast feed (he was almost starting to latch in the NICU when I stopped pumping). It is really no one's business, but if they choose to make it so, they will get an earful (in the most diplomatic, though angry, way I can think of).

Karlie - posted on 02/25/2009

hi. i have no advice i just wanted to tell you that i breastfeed my 11 month old son and from day 1 i had everyone tell me that it was best for him so i stuck with it even when it hurt and i was in tears. i decied to just do it for 6 months and then 6 months come along and everyone says i should just stick with as it is so good for him so i did now i am getting him ready to start cows milk and i have peaople say i should keep doing it and lecturing me on wanting me to stop. it is very frustrating as it is my decision. i dont really no what im trying to say here i think i just wanted to tell evryone that even when you do breastfeed you still get the lectures on breast is best. i think we should make our own choices which is wat im going to do.!! who cares if they are breastfed or bottlefed as long as they are fed and happy and healthy . thats all that matters!

Julie - posted on 02/25/2009

i bottle fed my 5 children and they r doing well they are 25,21,19,17,and 6 they are thriving, they say breast is best but when u cant u cant , i dont love them any less and neither does my friends and family formulas give us peace of mind of how much they are being fed my 6 yrld was on formula till he was 4 and stiil in a bottle i might add, he is very smart and excells in almost anything i could breastfeed but was very uncomfortable doing so thank god for the bottle chin up your doing a great job