I HATE BREASTFEEDING

Kristen - posted on 01/13/2010 ( 203 moms have responded )

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I have a daughter that will be 4 months old on the 27th. I have been breastfeeding her since day one. Recently my doctor suggested putting her on cereal twice a day to help her sleep through the night. I was excited because I thought I might actually get some sleep and it would give me a break from nursing. Well, I have mixed the cereal with breastmilk and it is not helping her sleep through the night. So not only am I still nursing all day and night, I am also pumping. I really want to stop breastfeeding. I am physically and emotionally drained. I know that all the reasons I want to stop are selfish and that breastfeeding is really good for my baby. I feel like a horrible mother because I hate breastfeeding. Any advice?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sharon - posted on 01/13/2010

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Just quit. Enjoy motherhood and feed her formula. Why have a baby if you can't enjoy the experience right? Cut anything out that is making you that unhappy.

Colleen - posted on 01/13/2010

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Breastfeeding is not for everyone. If it's stressing you out, it's stressing her out too.



It is said that the best a mother can do for her baby is to breastfeed for the first 3 DAYS of her life!!! You did that.



Way to go, that's awesome.



The first 3 days, she gets all the life long germ fighting stuff she needs.



There are several ways to look at this...if you want to stop only because you're exhausted (welcome to parenthood! ha ha)...then that's one thing; if you want to stop because you don't feel right doing it, then that's another.



If it's because you're tired...try mixing the last 2 feeds of the day with formula (it's thicker and will stay with her longer; meaning she should wake up not as early). If you choose this method...you'll need to slowly add it in, over the course of a few nights as it will taste different, and be a different thickness, so she'll need some time to get used to the change.



I'd suggest until you know she'll do it, buy a couple cans of ready made formula of the brand you choose; mix 1/4 of the bottle with the formula and the rest with your breastmilk for the first and second feed of the day and see if she takes it, then nurse like normal the other feeds, then at night time give her the last 2 feeds with the formula & breastmilk mix....see how it goes during the night, then the next day do 1/2 Bm and 1/2 formula for the same feeds.



if she likes it and it works for her and you, then you can slowly switch it over, so her last feed or even the last 2 of the day are all formula.



If this all works etc, then you can switch to the powdered variety, as it's way cheaper than the ready to use stuff.



Nursing is by far cheaper than going to formula but your sanity counts for a lot.



You need to do what is best for Baby and You! You are both equally important.



My 3 sons were all preemies and so I didn't have a choice but give them the mix like above. It helped us all. Otherwise, they were hungry every hour.



You are not being selfish, you're being a great mom. It's hard to function when you're extremely tired all the time.



Good luck! Sleep when baby sleeps; get Daddy or a friend to watch baby while you take a nap in the later afternoon too. It will help everyone.



Have fun!

Colleen

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2010

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How great to see so many supportive women here!! Very refreshing, I am expecting a baby in about 5 weeks and have been very torn this time about whether or not to breastfeed. I bottle fed my first 2 daughters and they have always been healthy, intelligent girls. Yes, formula is artificicial, but with the progression that science has made, it contains everything your baby needs to grow healthy.

To those of you who judge those who bottle-feed.... shame on you! Women need to support each other.

Mackenzie - posted on 01/14/2010

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Stop pumping, its really a waist of time and probably what is causing most of the energy drain. Just make sure you eat a lot and drink a lot of fluids. Have a beer and relax. The breast feeding really starts to get easier right about now. Also, they really don't need baby food until 6 months old so don't bother. Just lay the baby beside you, nurse and the two of you should fall right back a sleep. In the next couple of months you'll see the baby naturally start to sleep for longer stretches.

Jocelyn - posted on 01/13/2010

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If you hate it, then quit (and this is coming from a huge advocate for breastfeeding lol). I'd rather see a bottle fed baby with a happy competent mom than a breast fed baby whose mother feels resentment towards with child, or ends up depressed. Or better yet you can just cut down the breastfeeding to a few feeds during the day (with none at night). You have options. And if you don't like pumping, you don't have to mix the cereal with breastmilk. Hope you find something that works for you :)

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Dianna - posted on 01/18/2010

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You are an awesome mom... Never knock your self for that. I was told 3 days to 2weeks is all they really need from you for the necessary immunity building agents. I breastfed my daughter for approximately 4 - 5 mos. I started her on formula mixed w/ cereal in her night bottle at 3 & 1/2 mos. Which helped her sleep threw the night. Then when she went w/ her dad over night (1 night every other weekend ) She only had formula when w/ him because the breastpump hurt to much for me to use it. She was completely a formula baby around 5mos old. Look if you are stressed, you will stress your baby, no one wants you or the baby stressed. Be proud, you have done a great job. I actually mixed enfamil w/ carnation good start to make it easy on my baby's stomach, she was never gasy or constipated, if that helps you any. The cereal I put in the mixture at night for her night time bottle and she slept like a log... It was a blessing. Quit kicking yourself, your a human mommy and we've all been there. If you need anything don't hesitate to contact me.

Susan - posted on 01/18/2010

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I already gave one repluy to this, I should have added several things. My daughter did nurse for 2 years, I hated that there was so little support for nursing mothers.....not even from my own Mom. My daughter nursed, exclusively nursed! Other than water she had nothing but my milk for the first year, and she did so amazingly well. After that first year she would occasionally eat a few Cheerios or maybe some banana, she also tasted bites of stuff we had to eat. But her main source was me.....and it was both very hard and very worth it!I think that when one decides to nurse their baby, that is a committment to a lifestyle( at least in the beginning) I was lucky that my husband worked nights so I kept my baby in her little basket right by my bed and it was so easy. I had another child six yrs older and two foster kids at the time so I needed what was easier. But besides being easier, let me tell you that the bond with my baby was so amazing. Did I get tired? Yes! Was it very hard in the beginning? Yes! Did everyone suggest it would be easier to quit? Yes!

But once I decided not to give myself the option of pumping so I could go out sometimes, not give myself the option of quitting.....for any reason, it all worked it'self out.

Here's the deal....this is not about anyone else but you and your baby.....you need to be focused on what is best for the two of you. If you decide to try and keep nursing, then stop pumping, it only interferes with your milk production. If you can, put the baby to breast every hour or less if need be. Your milk production will build in response to your baby's need. Trust your body and yourself, listen to your body, rest whenever you can and above all, drink, drink, drink that water! It helps your milk production to stay level at where it needs to be for the baby.

If you decide that nursing isn't for you, you're right It won't work for you. Quitting doesn't mean you are an awful mother, it just means that you didn't get the support you should have had to help you succeed.

I refuse to believe that an entire generation of women were born with soooo many who have malfunctioning breasts.....I think the focus and the support network just isn't there for young women of today, and that saddens me.

In the end, the most important thing is that you love and enjoy your baby and you bond in a healthy way. If you weren't a good mother you wouldn't care so much about whether you were doing the right thing. Best of luck in the future, enjoy every minute with your precious baby.

Evelyn - posted on 01/18/2010

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oh ya, hating breastfeeding could also be the reason why we still haven't plan for the 3rd baby, haha.. breastfeeding takes will power! both of you and your husband got to be willing to do it. My husband had helped so much which in other case I wouldn't be able to do it, he would get me a bottle of water to look at, ya, i know, it's weird, all moms do diff weird things, a clean cloth, leave me in a quiet nursing room, and quickly make sure the elder silbling was't troubling us. I had to work out a really suitable schedule for myself and on the 2nd month onwards I was pretty much on the game, just pumped away! all babies are diff too, some cry every 2hours, some sleep 18hours/day, some like to eat and eat and eat, others hate eating... I have both, the kids are the opposites of each other, doctors of course think both are normal, I'm sure babies are just like the adults, they are diffirent individuals!

Evelyn - posted on 01/18/2010

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I had fed 2 babies, for 6months each. I have an inverted nipple, so both babies were not good at sucking milk straight from me, so I had to pumped and pumped and pumped till both of my nipples were sometimes chapped so bad and that they sometimes bleed and bleed and bleed, so there goes the pink milk! My husband read somewhere that the blood is ok for baby. I used to make 45oz/day, everyday, every 5hours, I stored them in the freezer and they lasted 4months if kept frozen! one time, one of my nipple fell half way apart! and... after all that me and my husband were still determined to breast feed the baby for at least six months, hence... today my children are touch wood... they are seldom ill, they are 5 and 3 now, it was all worth it!! hahaha

Miranda - posted on 01/18/2010

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Food does not equal sleep. If your doc told you otherwise he's an idiot.Also sleeping through the night is defined as 5 hrs, not 12 like many people think. stop pumping & jsut nurse the baby. Expect her to want to eat & eat & eat because she could be going through a growth spurt. I have 3 kids the oldest is 7 yrs old & the older 2 were formula fed, guess what? I haven't gotten a full nights sleep in 7 yrs! If you want to quit bfing then it's your call but don't expect her to magically start sleep all night long with formula either!

Ronee - posted on 01/18/2010

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Don't feel like a horrible mom. There are many women that choose not to breastfeed. Your daughter will still be healthy and you lasted for 4 months. My advice is to try a binky in the middle of the night. My nursing consultant told me that the baby may be full, but still has the urge to suck. Try giving her a binky once instead of staying up to nurse. The other thing you can try is formula at night. You don't have to breastfeed before bed, try the formula and maybe your daughter will sleep with the thicker milk. Good Luck!!! You still love your daughter so that doesn't make you horrible!!!

Angelee - posted on 01/18/2010

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My daughter was like that she didn't sleep through the night till about 6 months. Do you give her cereal right before she goes to bed? Try pumping in a quiet place so you could relax. I know it can be difficult but it will get better soon. Just try to find a friend to talk to when you feel overwelmed, and find something you enjoy while nursing. It might help you enjoy nursing more. Good luck! I think your a great mother because your thinking and doing for your baby!

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hi kristen you have done so well to breast feed this long!I had my 2nd child in may 2009 he was a big baby so i had to breast feed and top him up with formula.Why dont you try formula for the last feed before bed she may take up to 7oz.See how that goes if it doesnt help try baby rice in the morning and last thing at night along with feeding her yourself or formula.I only succeded to feed greg for 4 weeks and i was shattered doin that so youve done fab and dont feel guilty.

Ann - posted on 01/18/2010

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Stop breast feeding. You are not selfish or any of those things- If she has been nursing for 4 months, you have given her a good start! I am the proud mom of 5 children-all adult children- none were nursed as I was either working or had cysts and pumping wasn't pushed-I adore mu children-loved them to death when they were kids and hankfully never had to deal with those whho like to make others feel guilty if they can't measure up to some obscure standard--I am really surprised that I survived because my mom used Karo syrup, canned milk, salt and water for my formula and she didn't nurse either! I also want to comment on your comment that you must be a horrible mother- I think you are a very caring mother- you know that physically and kentally you are at the end of your rope and you also just know that this isn't good for your baby or you and the stress might be hurting the milk supply-Imagine, we were urged to drink beer to keep the milk up- Don't waste time of self-doubts, etc. You have had the experience and now is the time for you to get some rest and to feel at ease- You can listen to all the advice you want- but really, you know what is best for you-just follow your intincts and your heart. Good Luck

Ann - posted on 01/18/2010

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Stop breast feeding. You are not selfish or any of those things- If she has been nursing for 4 months, you have given her a good start! I am the proud mom of 5 children-all adult children- none were nursed as I was either working or had cysts and pumping wasn't pushed-I adore mu children-loved them to death when they were kids and hankfully never had to deal with those whho like to make others feel guilty if they can't measure up to some obscure standard--I am really surprised that I survived because my mom used Karo syrup, canned milk, salt and water for my formula and she didn't nurse either! I also want to comment on your comment that you must be a horrible mother- I think you are a very caring mother- you know that physically and kentally you are at the end of your rope and you also just know that this isn't good for your baby or you and the stress might be hurting the milk supply-Imagine, we were urged to drink beer to keep the milk up- Don't waste time of self-doubts, etc. You have had the experience and now is the time for you to get some rest and to feel at ease- You can listen to all the advice you want- but really, you know what is best for you-just follow your intincts and your heart. Good Luck

Danielle - posted on 01/18/2010

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Dont do it then go out and buy bottles and formula and stop being miserable and enjoy your baby! from a woman with 3 children who breastfed them all

Chinyere - posted on 01/18/2010

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your situation can be better imagined by any mother who has passed through that process before, personally i will not hold on to breast feeding if my health is under threat and would advice a friend so, besides there are options to breast milk; some babies survive without breast milk.

Lindsey - posted on 01/18/2010

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Don't feel like a horrible mother - you are not. Breastfeeding is not for everyone. I tried with both my kids and had to stop after 6 weeks with my daughter. She was using me for comfort and I was in agony. I found I struggled with time to sit and feed her because I had a 3 year old running about. I tried to use the breast pump but could not use it very well and would be there for ages pumping away and hardly get anything out. I was in constant tears and felt like a bad mother. I was at my doctors in tears and my HV came in and told me not to worry about it - it is not for everyone. My daughter had had the first milk which was good and I was not doing either of us any favours by being stressed so I put her on formula and she was happy and so was I. I could concentrate on other things with her and my son could feed her bottles instead of being a constant wreck.

Cara - posted on 01/18/2010

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i love breastfeeding but one advantage when my daughter wants it she stops at nothing to get it. she is 17 months. looks like she will not stop right now'\\\.\

Christa - posted on 01/18/2010

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I breast fed my first child for 12mos, even while attending work full-time for 3 mos, and my 2nd child for 9 mos. I loved the idea but hated the sleep deprived nights. My first would not take a bottle and my 2nd would only take a bottle from me. Both refused formula. I sucked it up and dealt with it at the time. If you're willing to continue, once she is ready for fruit, I found that giviing a spoon of cereal then a spoon of fruit helps get that extra bit of food in. I look back now and think it was all worth it.

Evelyn - posted on 01/18/2010

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i truly agree with you, suzy! take her advise, kristen, if you are lost but as i say again is all up to you and do according to your wish and not by other influences.
good luck and happy breastfeeding!

Suzy - posted on 01/18/2010

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Kristen, I hope you now realize that you are not alone in this problem, breastfeeding is HARD, even if its the best for your child. While formula is great & getting better every year, it is not made by your body so it is not PERFECT (and its expensive).

The best advise I can give you is to get help--talk to a lactation consultant. & get your partner to help out. The cost of a consultant is less than one month of formula. And sleep & sanity are like GOLD.

The bottom line: eliminate the some of the stress associated with feeding by taking care of yourself--drink lots of fluids, exercise (helps you sleep better), and try to get more time resting: get your partner to do at least one feeding at night--bottle/cup of formula or breastmilk. If pumping is "productive" and less stressful switch to pumping (during the day!) only. If pumping is stressful, stop pumping. I co-slept with my kids many nights, but they started the night in the crib. No mattter what, I had my husband get up to make sure that the baby wasn't crying b/c of a dirty diaper (those few minutes were precious rest!). We actually had staggered sleep schedules, I went to bed early (sans baby), and he went to bed later after the baby's 1st "wake up"(around 12am). If I was really tired, or under the weather I would ask him to feed the baby a bottle instead of waking me.

Probably for the last month(or longer) of my "nursing days" (8 & 9 months) I found that I looked forward to my after work and before bed nursing time with my baby--it was "our time" to snuggle, bond, and to give them the extra nutrients only your body makes. The rest of the bottles were pumped milk or formula. If you chose to cut way back, think of your breastmilk as a multi-vitamin supplement, and pick your time to share your milk and a quiet moment with your child.

Keep in mind if you stop making milk, the baby weight will stop coming off too, since you no longer burn those calories. Good Luck!

Melly - posted on 01/18/2010

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I am breastfeeding my 3rd baby, this is the first time I have breastfed. You are not a bad Mother at all, BF is not for everyone and the fact that you have done it for 4 months is fantastic. Have you tried her on formula? your not failing her by stopping trust me, my little 1 is 10 months old and BF is driving me insane, I am weaning her onto cows milk and she loves it. The reason i am weaning is because she has 8 teeth and is biting to the point where she is drawing blood and it is very painful to feed her. i wish you all the best and please don't feel bad if you decide to change her to formula, 4 months is a great effort and you have giving her a wonderful start :D

Katinka - posted on 01/18/2010

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Why not stop then ? Sure breastfeeding is good for her, but it should also be a special time with you and your baby. I'm sure your baby can feel your unhappiness whilst nursing and being sleep deprived can affect your mood too. Weigh up the pros and cons.

Breast is best, but being a happy mom with a baby on formula might be better for the both of you in the long run.

INSTEAD OF DWELLING ON MIGHT MIGHT BE, PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR LASTING 4 MONTHS !! YOU DID WELL.

All the best.

Evelyn - posted on 01/18/2010

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i had 4 kids and all of them i had breastfed more than 1 1/2 yrs.

my older girl now

10yrs old is the only child that i had mix feeding(formula+bmilk) if i had not bfeed i guess

she might get another infection after the long stay in ICU for birth abnormalities. that's wen i had strongly believe that breastmilk really help children to grow up healthy. during my 2nd girl, i was like a new mother breastfeeding my newborn. she was such a difficult baby who cries alot and so demanding that i had suggested to stop breastfeeding till my hsb told me to take responsible of what i had decided! i didnt stop till then but i had hired a breastfeeding counsellor wen my bb was 4 mths old and taught me how to breastfeed correctly( like lying down while reading a book or watching tv)it helps alot and i had continue bfeeding till she was 3 1/2yrs old. i didnt managed to learn lying down to feed her that time till she was 3 1/2 yrs old...it was a tiring years for me but i had gone thru it and successfully. during my weaning off was a traumatic times for me and her cos each of us miss all the bonding that we had during our closeness together.during my 3rd and 4th baby(my 4th baby is only 6mths now) i had very easy going breastfeeding moment and also i had read alot of information before i delivered my baby. i also believed that evry child had a different character and i should be ready in case it doesnt work out as smooth as the other child.

yes is true that breastfeeding has never been easy thru out my years with my kids but it wasnever a dissapointment moments with them. i felt proud of myself because i am truly a mother who had gave the best of the best in the world to my kids. but of cos i will

not look down on mothers who had never bfeed or failure in bfeeding.

i truly understand their situation when everything jus didnt work out as u had think. i had once wanted to quit but i had a strong desired that i could do it again.

whatever you had decided is all depends on you urself but not wat ppl had wrote to you. if you think you need to stop, go ahead but on ur own will! no one will said you are the killer of your child but you love your baby more than anything else.

good luck to you and hope all mothers in tis forum could help you to make up ur mind and be wise about it.

[deleted account]

I had problems breast feeding all 4 of my children but they have all grown up with minimal health problems and are all quite well adjusted.(The eldest is 20 and the youngest is 6). The biggest relief I felt was the day I let go of the guilt and decided to bottle feed my eldest. I was really dreading having to breast feed her and I felt quite resentful of her. As soon as I decided to bottle feed ( one week after her birth) I began to enjoy being with her and never looked back. The biggest problem I found was with total strangers passing judgement on me because I wasn't breast feeding. Whilst "breast is best" generally, it is not the case if it is at the expense of the mother's health and well being.

[deleted account]

I had problems breast feeding all 4 of my children but they have all grown up with minimal health problems and are all quite well adjusted.(The eldest is 20 and the youngest is 6). The biggest relief I felt was the day I let go of the guilt and decided to bottle feed my eldest. I was really dreading having to breast feed her and I felt quite resentful of her. As soon as I decided to bottle feed ( one week after her birth) I began to enjoy being with her and never looked back. The biggest problem I found was with total strangers passing judgement on me because I wasn't breast feeding. Whilst "breast is best" generally, it is not the case if it is at the expense of the mother's health and well being.

Joanne - posted on 01/18/2010

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Why don't you go to your local breastfeeding group for some advice? She may not be latched on properly so might not be getting enough at each feed so feeding more often as she will only be getting the fore milk not the creamy milk. Whatever the problem you local breastfeeding group will be able to help you.

Sanjyot - posted on 01/18/2010

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no you are not a horrible mother. breastfeeding is totally the mothers prerogative. Try the cereal about tan hour before retiring and then follow a good sleep routine....maybe soft music, a walk on the terrace, a massage and a hot bath.nything that suits the both of you. All the best.

Sanjyot - posted on 01/18/2010

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no you are not a horrible mother. breastfeeding is totally the mothers prerogative. Try the cereal about tan hour before retiring and then follow a good sleep routine....maybe soft music, a walk on the terrace, a massage and a hot bath.nything that suits the both of you. All the best.

Sanjyot - posted on 01/18/2010

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no you are not a horrible mother. breastfeeding is totally the mothers prerogative. Try the cereal about tan hour before retiring and then follow a good sleep routine....maybe soft music, a walk on the terrace, a massage and a hot bath.nything that suits the both of you. All the best.

Kylie - posted on 01/17/2010

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I have been in your situation 3 times and it took until my 4th baby for me to say "hey, I want to enjoy this baby I am not even going to try breastfeeding again" It was the best decision I have made and I enjoyed my 4th baby the most out of all them. You are the most selfless person because you have been breastfeeding for 4 months. That's fantastic. Of course "breast is best", but is it really, at what cost. It sounds like you haven't been able to enjoy your time with your baby as much as you should be, which is really sad, because they are not babies for long. I'm not saying I have any medical training, I am just speaking from experience. I visited my health nurse and was literally brain washed to breastfeed, because they make you feel guilty if you don't. My 4 th child went straight onto formula in hospital, and I can honestly say he has been my least sickest child. I fed my 1st for roughly 4-5 months and he was constantly sick for his 1st year. Breast isn't always best if it comes at a price. You need to be happy and healthy so that you can be there for your baby 100%. I really hope you work things out for your sake and your babies.....You will make the right decision whichever suits you and your baby the best. Love to hear how it turns out!

Debi - posted on 01/17/2010

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You gave your baby a very healthy start in life. You made many sacrifices in doing so. Now it sounds like you need to provide some alternative food for the baby so she or he will sleep better and you can as well. Remember to be proud of all you have done and do not chastise yourself for not continuing breastfeeding. I was in your shoes feeling much like you when my child was the same age. I had sad and guilty feelings as I considered quitting but I had been struggling along as you are with little sleep and it was not good for us and I knew it. So I quit and got some rest and reminded myself that breastfeeding is a personal thing and not everyone's experience is the same. When some can go on some should not and then there are those who do not want to and those who simply cannot handle it for the full four months that you have. A well rested Mommy is a very healthy thing to offer your child. No guilt Mom, you have done very well..the baby needs more substantial food and there is nothing to worry about. I told myself...no guilt..only pride. Do not listen anyone tell you any different. Do what is best OVERALL for yourself and your baby. Hope you and the baby are sleeping better real soon. Hugs & Love to you, Mom.



P.S. Because others have found it possible to breastfeed longer means nothing...except their experience was different.

Veenu - posted on 01/17/2010

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hey lady...u should be proud of this opportunity to feed a child ...instead of being emotionally or physically drained try to seek out some domestic help ....breastfeeding helps to create an everlasting bond with ur baby..i have 10 months old twins and think of my situation...i did upto 5 months and got aware of this fact when i was drained after 1 month

[deleted account]

Post a reply!I'm abit biased but what is the first thing in the safety instruction on a plane - in case of an emergency give oxygen TO YOURSELF FIRST!!! After all if anything happens to the mum who will help the children. I think that the best thing for a baby or child is to have a happy, well rested mummy. This is the toughest job in the world we should all unite as mums not critisise each other after all every mum has the best thing for their babies in mind. Happy mum happy home. XXX

Stacey - posted on 01/17/2010

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Hi, there my daughter has just turned 3 months, and i felt exactly the same, so i stopped!! I know people think its selfish but its not, you have spent 40 weeks of pregnancy doing whats best for baby, and 4 months of feeding your self is fantastic!! I dont think people understand unless they have done it themselves. Since starting my daughter on formula, she has gained weight better and is starting to get in to a more settled routine, not every two hours!! You are not a horrible mother, you have to also think about what is best for you. You will be no good if you are to exhausted to do anything. Good luck with what ever you decide.



Stacey x

Natalie - posted on 01/17/2010

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i breastfeed for 11 months, but i loved it, your not happy so stop, feeding time should be a lovely experience for both of you, not one your getting stressed by.



Your not a bad mother at all, and you have stop thinking that nonsense right now, do whats right for you and be a happy mama ...



happy mama equals happy bubba !

Brandy - posted on 01/17/2010

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I know where your coming from. I went back to work after my daughter was just 6 weeks old. She was up every 3 hours, nursing all night long. As soon as I came home I was couch bound from 5 to 9. I got frustrated, a lot! But I was determined to give her the best start, not to mention her medical problems. I was harder on myself for wanting to give up. We made it though, I nursed her for 15 months. My pump became my best friend. It comes down to being your decision. If you are both frustrated then quit. But I always felt that nursing was way easier than mixing, and heating a bottle at 3 am. I can say that, I didn't nurse my son more than 2 months I know what its like to mix the bottles. My daughter and I did a lot of co-sleeping on the couch. I know that your not suppose to do that but it worked. The problem with my daughter is she didn't take a pacifier. I was her pacifier, once I figured out she wasn't hungry and that she just wanted me, it was easier for me to deal with. Its a big decision! I'm very happy that Alayna and I made 15 months, I still miss that time I had with her. Nursing was something only I could give her, and I loved it! Good Luck to you

Charlotte - posted on 01/17/2010

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Regardless of what anyone says you also need to look after yourself. You have done so well to breastfeed for 4mths I have twins boys and I stopped feeding them at 3mths. But I had to stop as I had 2 torn nipples and after having to stop feeding them for a week so my nipples could heel I just could not get my milk back properly. At first I was feeling so bad cause I wanted to keep feeding them myself. But after them to changing formula I saw a huge difference in them in a week. I knew how much they had eaten so it helped me read their tired and wind problems alot easier and they were sleeping longer through the nights and feed alot less. I found I also had so much more energy which I loved cause I could spend more quality time with them as I had the energy to play read books and do some housework.



Look after yourself your baby has gotten all of the goodness it needed at the start. Sadly people will critizise you for stopping if you decide to but the last thing you want to end up with is Post natal depression. My friend was in your situation and faced critizism so kept breast feeding and then when she was diagnosed with post natal depression she was told she would have to stop breastfeeding so she did and everything had been going to much better for her. She is so annoyed that she let others influence her cause at the time she knew she needed to look after herself but others used he baby to guilt her into persisting.



I understand that breastmilk is better than formula but formula is not harmfull. I have 2 very healthy happy boys and they had to swich to formula at 3mths.

Theresia - posted on 01/17/2010

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You are not being selfish and you are not a horrible mother. First of all you've already given her four months. They recommend you breast feed for at least a few weeks so your baby gets all those antibodies and nutrients. You've done a wonderful thing for your baby by doing that for this long. I say formula has come a long way, switch her over. My son used formula and let me tell you he is one smart cookie and very advanced for his age. There is nothing wrong with giving yourself a break. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :)

Rosalie - posted on 01/17/2010

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First of all, get the idea out of your head that you're a horrible mother. After all, you've sacrificied four months to better the health of your baby. Breastfeeding isn't for everyone & if you feel like you've reached the end of your emotional and physical rope, that's okay...you're only human. Have you tried pumping breast milk & having your husband help out during the night? It takes two and you can't do it all on your own. Also, if you feel like you can't possibly go on any longer, maybe it's time to switch to formula..your baby has already benefitted from breastfeeding thus far. Don't get frustrated..remember, each passing day gets a bit easier.

Stacey - posted on 01/17/2010

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Goodness... It's not worth the stress. I can totally empathize with your situation. I BF'ed my two girls and can say that I felt LIBERATED when I transitioned to formula. You are not a failure if you decide to switch to formula. Do what's best for your baby AND you.

Tristan - posted on 01/17/2010

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You poor thing, I can def. sympathize with you. Congrats to you, breastfeeding is way more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Coming from a family that only nursed, I figured it was the only way for me. I struggled from lack of sleep, my son was allergic to dairy so, I had to avoid all dairy myself, blocked milk ducts left me with huge painful lumps in my breasts. I kept myself calm and realized what being a mom is all about...doing whats best for your child. However, With that being said, if it's causing you a lot of stress or exhaustion, it can affect her.

Up every 40-60 min the first month, then up every 2-3hrs since then. My son is almost 16mnths old and I stuill continue to nurse. People judge me, make rude comments, but you know what? Regardless of what ANYONE thinks, you do what YOU feel YOU should do. Wether you decide to stop nursing doesn't make you a horrible mother. Some refuse to even try or think their breasts are going to sag...well, pregnancy does that to your breasts, not nursing. 4mnths is a huge milestone you successfully reached, formula was invented for a reason. Try a bottle with formula before bed, maybe she'll sleep longer. You could always alternate during the day. Nurse as well as using formula. Good luck

Tanya - posted on 01/17/2010

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You have to do what you feel is right for you not just your baby, you have to be happy to have a happy baby. The colostrum when they are 1st born is the best thing for them anything after that is a bonus. I have 4 boys & I breastfed them all until they were at least 6 months old & they did sleep all night from 6 weeks old I found that they slept better in a room of their own right from day 1.

Gabrielle - posted on 01/17/2010

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Cereal will not necessarily get your child to sleep through the night. My son was nearly a year old when he first slept through the night. I breastfed until my son was 16 months old because he refused a bottle. Sometimes it seems never ending, but it will get better. What is most important is that you do what is best for you and your daughter. Only you can know what that is. I had several times during the 16 months that I breastfed when I felt that I could not do it anymore, but I was very glad that I did.

Sandra - posted on 01/17/2010

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Don't feel guilty, you've fed your baby for four months and that's a huge achievement! Nothing and no-one can prepare you for how painful & exhausting breastfeeding can be and being sleep deprived is the worst. So if bottle-feeding feels right for you, I would say go for it and hope you manage to get her sleeping through the night! Good luck :)

Denise - posted on 01/17/2010

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First of all, don't feel like a horrible mother. I think all breastfeeding mothers feel this way at some time (I know I did). I am on my 4th child and still breastfeeding. I can tell you that I have heard the whole cereal thing is a myth. Is your husband supportive of your breastfeeding? That is one thing that is majorly important. I know there have come times with each of my children that I said I wasn't nursing the next one. Of course, with each one I still did. You just have to remember that there are so many reasons to breast feed your child. One of the many reasons is that it reduces the chance of breast cancer, not only in yourself, but also your daughter. If you are pumping, see if you can get some time to yourself by letting someone else feed her. Have your husband wake up with her at night to give her a bottle. I didn't have a lot of luck with bottles so I get to be the one that gets up every time and can't be gone more than 2 hours at a time so I can be there to nurse. Good luck!!!!

Dalia - posted on 01/17/2010

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Breastfeeding is not a must for everyone. If you do not love it - it does not do that much good to your child. You ant every interaction with her to be satisfying, and if it means to give her formula - let it be. YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM! You are the perfect mom for your child, and you are free to do the choices that will work for both of you.

Zakiya - posted on 01/17/2010

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I am a mother of three. baby now three months still breast feeding. never thought i would last that long to b honest its really amazing. thanx to my sisters motivation. my baby fully breast fed no bottle at all. frm the other 2 kids she has bonded the most towards me. really never thought i could do it. in the beginning was nervous but as days went by built my confidence and dont regret my decision. its the best thing for u n your child n i recommend breast feeding to all mothers

Jamie - posted on 01/17/2010

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I am the mother of twin girls (3 months) and breast fed from the beginning. In the hospital the Dr wanted me to "top off" after each feeding to make sure they were getting enough. My body had to catch up to the demand of not only 1 baby but 2. When I came home I stopped toping them off during the day but continued it at night so they would sleep longer. I have to say it worked. They went 4-5 hrs in between feedings- I would breast feed then give them a bottle of similac (didn't like enfamil). They slept in their own room since the day they were brought home. And since the week of Christmas they sleep 10-12 hrs at night. I breast feed them around 6 or 7pm then do baths and then the night time feeding (around 9) is a bottle then they go down around 9:15. Then I pump around 10-10:30 before I go to bed (to keep the juice coming). I talked to my Dr when they were 6 weeks old (about colic) and he suggested starting a bedtime routine with a bath and I swear, since the day we started the bath, they sleep better and they love it. So now it is part of our night, they look forward to it, they kick and use their energy, then they are ready to go down. I know that when I pump at 10, I get only 2-3 oz out. They take 5-6 oz bottles. Maybe you aren't producing much in the evening/night so she wakes up hungry. If you are physically and emotionally drained- they are right- it's not good for the baby, she can sense it (or so I've been told). Don't feel like a bad mother, BP isn't for everyone and not every BODY can with stand feeding for months or a year. Do the best you can and if it's not working, thats ok. Everyone is different and every baby is different there's no right or wrong answer it's just whatever works.

Jennifer - posted on 01/17/2010

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I also hated breatfeeding at first, i felt the same way...day and night had my boobs out. But, seriously you should keep on trucking tilll you get to the 6 month mark. that's when it get's alot easier. That was my original breastfeeding goal, to make it to six months. and once i got there, i didn't want to stop... it was only then that i realized all the benefits that went with breastfeeding, the closeness, convievence and not to mention, you save a hell of alot money. The poop doesn't smell as bad either. It's hard now, but really, it gets easier. Another thing, and everyone told me not to, I started my son on pears and sweet potatoes when he was four months. When your breastfeeding, the milk helps your baby digest foods better and so i started early and he loved them! We never had a problem. And that's what helped him sleep better! not cereal. Good luck!

Donetta - posted on 01/17/2010

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You are not a horrible mother, but I would try to continue if at all possible, she won't be little for long and one day you will be happy for the time you got to bond with her while nursing. There is nothing like it:)

Betty - posted on 01/17/2010

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My granddaughter is 5 1/2 months old, my daughter has breast fed ever since day one and she finds it a time to be alone with her baby. She feeds about every 3 hrs. She does pump so that others that may need to assist can do so. They always have a bottle in the refrigerator just in case. My son-in-law got up with my granddaughter during the night, would take her to my daughter, my daughter would feed her, my son-in-law would put her back to bed. This allows both parents to assume part of the responsibility. Both parents should be equally responsible even though you are breast feeding so that you don't feel like you are not a good mother. You just need some help and I think things would come together better for you. Breast milk will be better for your baby, yes, but if the frustration becomes overwhelming I would switch to a formula but you will still need some help with the feeding times so you can get some rest.

Lindsay - posted on 01/17/2010

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If you feel this strongly about wanting to quit then quit. Formula is just fine for your baby. A lot of the benifits of breastfeeding you already gave her in the beginning. Breastfeeding should be enjoyable for both of you, not work. You are not a horrible mother. Do what you need to do to make being a mom fun and enjoyable and if not breastfeeding anymore will do that... well. Good luck to you

Jennifer - posted on 01/17/2010

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I also hated breatfeeding at first, i felt the same way...day and night had my boobs out. But, seriously you should keep on trucking tilll you get to the 6 month mark. that's when it get's alot easier. That was my original breastfeeding goal, to make it to six months. and once i got there, i didn't want to stop... it was only then that i realized all the benefits that went with breastfeeding, the closeness, convievence and not to mention, you save a hell of alot money. The poop doesn't smell as bad either. It's hard now, but really, it gets easier. Another thing, and everyone told me not to, I started my son on pears and sweet potatoes when he was four months. When your breastfeeding, the milk helps your baby digest foods better and so i started early and he loved them! We never had a problem. And that's what helped him sleep better! not cereal. Good luck!

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