I HATE BREASTFEEDING

April - posted on 01/15/2010

Hi there,
I have 3 youngsters and one on the way,so please, trust me. Breastfeeding can be hatefully frustrating! I have breastfed all of mine to varying degrees. My oldest son (he is 21yrs) was only nursed for 3 weeks;my 7 yr old son was nursed for 3 1/2 months mostly fed by bottle ( because he was 5 weeks premature and couldn't open his mouth wide enough); my 6 yr old daughter was nursed for 16 1/2 months...from the boob to a cup. But it took 3 times to get it right and every baby is going to be a bit different.
Try having someone else get up with her in the night for a few days so you can sleep.
Or try having her co-sleep with you...then when she needs to nurse she can just roll over and you wont have to actually wake up to feed her.
Be sure to keep your liquids up and plan a snack for when you do breastfeed your little darling. Some fruit or cheese & crackers.It will help tp keep ytour milk rich.
Consult a lactation specialist in your area,she may have some ideas for you too.
Best of luck ! God Bless! And don't lose faith!
April Shular

Lori - posted on 01/15/2010

Don't feel bad, I hate breastfeeding too! I breastfed two of my 5 boys, so I know all about it. If it's making you miserable it's time to stop. You made it four months, so good for you. It's time to get some formula and start introducing solids. Your baby is going to be fine, just wean her slowly to the formula if that's what she needs. My boys didn't have a problem going from breast to bottle at all, I think they were as ready as I was. Good luck and get some rest!

Mary - posted on 01/15/2010

Only you can decide what is right for you and your baby. Have to be honest, I was shocked at how hard breastfeeding was, especially in the beginning. For me, it did get better, and easier. A word of caution...if you do chose to stop, do not set yourself up for s huge disappointment if switching her to formula doesn't improve her sleeping. As a few others on her have said, neither formula nor adding cereal to a baby's diet have been shown to improve sleeping patterns. I exclusively breastfed my daughter, and did not introduce cereal until 6 months. She started to sleep through the night (for the most part) at 3.5 months. Don't hate me yet...she was a crappy napper! SHe would sleep from 8pm-5am, and only catnap throughout the day for 30-45 minutes. She didn't really start to nap well until about 9 months...but at 14 months, she still gets up by 5am.
I just think that those first 6 months are HARD, regardless of breast or bottle feeding. That sleep deprivation is killer, and I think we all have moments when we think we are simply going to die, or go off the deep end if we don't get some kind of break. I can't really advise you either way - only you can decide what you want, and are capable of. Just wanted you to know that you are by no means alon in your frustration and desperation.

Nicole - posted on 01/15/2010

I never thought that I could manage it, but I breastfed my daughter six months exclusively, day and night. She was six months yesterday and I started to feed her parsnip mash. I hope I'm going to breastfeed her until she's one year old. I got used to the lack of sleep ;-) Meanwhile I'm really enjoying breastfeeding because it's mama & baby time. However, my mother didn't breastfeed me - it was quite unusual for her generation to breastfeed babies, it seems. But I'm healthy, I don't have any allergies - it may be the best for a child to be breastfed, but there are many other important things. Most of all it needs a loving and happy mama, and that you are, I'm sure.

Maria - posted on 01/15/2010

Formula is gross. It is artificial and should be avoided if possible.

Maria - posted on 01/15/2010

You are not a horrible mother. Some babies sleep and others don't. WHO recommend exclusive breastfeeding for six months. Some babies take to solids easier than others. Once you get the next few weeks over and start solids your baby may not be so reliant on breast milk. Hate to tell you but my 8 year old did not sleep through the night til she was 4. Nor did I my mum told me later. My sister on the other hand has been a good sleeper from day one. If you feed her back to sleep, maybe get your partner to go to her to comfort her back to sleep, or try stroking her face to sleep, so the milk is not available and she may give up asking in the night if she knows she isn;t getting it. It is easier said than done when you are that shattered and you just want to shut them up and go back to sleep. I now have two year old twins who wake up but not always together. I feed them, but I am on my own. Sleep will come I hope. Good luck.

Renae - posted on 01/15/2010

It always amazes me to hear that doctors recommend cereal to help babies sleep. Any sleep consultant will tell you that giving food RARELY does anything to help babies sleep, because the calories the baby gets from cereal is next to nothing compared to what they get from breast milk or formula.

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with switching your baby to formula, plenty of babies are formula fed (just about every born in the 70's was formula fed because doctor's used to think it was better) and these days formula has everything the baby needs.

Formula fed babies also usually go for longer between feeds because it takes longer to digest, 4 hourly instead of 3 hourly, so it might help get some more sleep.

What your doctor should have told you is what you can expect from your baby:
Most babies start to sleep a 5 hour stretch, usually of midnight to 5am, after 12 weeks old.
Between 4-6 months most babies are feeding 2-3 times a night.
After 6 months most babies stop needing to be fed at night, but some continue to need one night feed until 10-12mo.
50% of babies continue to wake at least once during the night until they are over 12mo.

Cristina - posted on 01/15/2010

I know how you feel. My baby was preemie by 7 weeks so I couldnt actually "breastfeed" So i pumped every 3 hours for over 2 months plus I had to suppliment with NEOSURE because I knew that the breastmilk was the best thing for him. But Iwas so tired I had to stop--I felt like a horrible mother to but you need your sanity to. At least she's getting it for 4 months now. I spoke to a nurse about the way I was feeling and she said it was normal to feel a seperation anxiety. I was even considering starting up the breast milk again but knew it would really wear on me. It's your choice but there are advantages to bottle fed/formula fed babies as well. Do whats best for you---no one will look down on you. There are plenty of mothers that never even considered breastfeeding their babies.

Meghan - posted on 01/15/2010

I know how you feel...I only breastfeed my daughter for 9 days. Although breastfeeding is great for the baby and great for bonding time with your little one not everyone is cut out to do it. Formula now provides plenty of needed neutrients for your baby too. My doctor told me to do what was right for me...if you aren't feeling 100% about it you then that's ok...you have to remember to take care of yourself too!



Good luck!

Jenny - posted on 01/15/2010

"...which is just gross if you ask me." Nobody asked you, Shayla. Someone else's nursing is none of your business. I think your opinion is gross. And offensive.

Shayla - posted on 01/15/2010

Don't feel like a horrible mother! If your done with it be done with it. Start mixing formula with breast milk 80/20- then decrease the beast milk and increase the formula untill there is no more breast milk. Four months is better than nothing, so if you don't enjoy breastfeeding stop. However, there is alot of misinformation on breastfeeding. The longer you do it the better. Breastmilk changes with your childs needs as they grow. Exparts say it's benefical for the child to breastfeed up to four years old, but thats just gross if you ask me. It's also really good for you, it helps lower risk for ovarian and breast cancer. Regardless, if your done, your done. Pat yourself on the back, alot of women won't do it at all. Ask you ped. for some advise. I gotta be honest, I breastfeed twins for a year. When it became obtrusive for me, I just stopped. Some of the advise you get on here, comes from people who just are not informed. If your ped can't give you advise your comfortable with, look into your local W.I.C. or Health dept. They have professionals who would be more than happy to assist you.

Dana - posted on 01/15/2010

Personally I think since you are already pumping... continue pumping (for the good breast milk for baby) if you want her to have it... Then mix it 1/2 and 1/2 with formula for every bottle. That way getting awesome breast milk and the filling formula (that is also awesome nutritious) at every meal.

Dianne - posted on 01/15/2010

Kristen - - you have done a FANTASTIC job so far. If you don't want to nurse anymore then you don't need to. Your baby will be fine being bottlefed! If you still want her to receive breastmilk, then pump as much as you can or want and supplement the rest with formula. If you don't want to pump anymore, then go ahead with just formula. Give yourself a pat on the back and remember that you have to be happy in order for your baby to be happy. If you choose to not pump, do it progressively so that you don't get a blocked duct or mastitis. My son decided at 6 or 8 weeks that he refused to nurse (once my milk supply was FINALLY established). I was getting very little sleep (probably around 3 or 4 hours per day) and was just exhausted. I had been pumping since coming home, so I just kept pumping. I had always had to supplement from day one (at one point he was taking in over 40 oz!) . . . . once I realized I shouldn't feel guilty, I had won the emotional battle that was mostly draining me. I actually enjoyed bottlefeeding over nursing as I could go cheek to cheek with him while he was feeding.

Jenny - posted on 01/15/2010

I have to say... Almost everyone seems to think babies should sleep through the night, and this was actually the MOST stressful thing for me because mine DIDN'T. Yeah, yeah, I read all the books and tried all the "methods". Forget it. Nothing worked. Finally I got hold of "The Fussy Baby Book" by Dr. Sears, and realized that babies are different (gee, just like adults) and some of them are not great sleepers (mine were, however, champion nursers, but again, not all babies are). When I gave up on the whole "babies sleep in a crib" idea and started co-sleeping, things got much better, we both got more sleep. My daughter didn't sleep through the night consistently until she was about 5!! The point is, don't stress out about it if your baby or you don't conform to someone else's ideas. You have to build a life together that works for you. And if you keep up the nursing, it WILL get easier, as baby grows and starts food and nurses less. Listen to your baby and your own intuition, you will make the right choice for both of you! :)

CHILDREN'S - posted on 01/15/2010

If you are so unhappy at what you commit to, stop. Remember anything that you commit to, whether its nursing, raising children, follow through. We are their role models, and will expect our children to follow through with their commitments. It's that simple. Start being a role model from now on, as it will help you as you raise your children. I posted a note on our frig for my husband and I "WE ARE THEIR ROLE MODELS". MY children are in college and still there..

Shatonia - posted on 01/15/2010

Then Stop!!!!!! i don't know where we come up with these crazy ideals about mothering. Wait i know other people, hahahaha. But seriously. Do not talk about it or beat yourself up any further, it is ok. Stop. Breastfeeding is not for every mother, that is why they make the stuff in a can, this coming from someone who breastfed for a long time. you and your baby will enjoy meal time much better and she will probably sleep much better at night and you. You will not be so stressed getting a good nights rest and you and your baby can have a really good time during the day!

Deana - posted on 01/15/2010

Kristen, God bless you for for giving your baby a great start in life. And what a good mommy you are for seeking help and asking questions from other moms. I'm the mother of 2 grown boys who had very different breast feeding experiences and grandmother of 4, 2 of them I'm raising. Two of the grandkids were not breast fed at all. You know what your baby needs more than anyone else. Take the advice here that works for you. You're going to be fine.

Jenny - posted on 01/15/2010

So much wonderful encouragement and support here... wish I'd had that when my boys were babies. One thing I found too was finding other mothers who weren't judgemental to hang out with helped tons.
You're a great mom. Don't worry, enjoy your daughter! And the challenges don't stop here, so do what you need to do, be confident in your decision... the outside comments will come with every stage of care and development in your child, whether it's about pacifiers, sleep routines, how well their reading is progressing... be true to what works for you and your family as a whole.

Rebecca - posted on 01/15/2010

Stress can cause yuor supply to dry up as well. Some advice given is really good. Keep in mind, a child can sense stress and tension so if it is frustrating you she is getting this feeling and it can cause problems with your relationship when she grows older. Try to stay as calm as you can if you do continue to nurse, remember you don't have to do it forever. One day of nursning is better then nothing. With my first wasw a able to nurse no problems. I had over supply of milk and there was no stopping it. I nursed him for 3 months and i too pumped as i went backt o work when he was 6 weeks old. With my second i was only able to nurse for 3 weeks and it was becuase i completely dried up. I was too stressed wtih raising a toddler and having a new born and my husband isn't a big help with babies so i had to do everything. It was very tiering so i know how you feel...i think every parent does to an extent. My daughter is now 6 months old and she eats cearl 2 times a day and jar food 2 times a day and is formula fed and she still wakes up once a night. My son also woke up at night for feeding when he was nursed and formula fed. Not all babies sleep through the night on formula, i believe that is a myth. Since you are pumping i assume she does rpetty good with a bottle and has no nipple confusing, that's great! Most kids who are breatfed have a hard time transitioning to bottles after the mother decides to stop nursing, you wont have this issue. If you are so tired you feel you can't nurse and do your day to day things and you truly wish to formula feed, then by all means do it. You will feel better about yuorself and your relationship with her and if you have any resentment it will die down. You will still be able to bond with her when she eats, you will still need to hold her, smile at her while she's eating and talk to her. Nothing in that matter will change. If you wish to start her on formula then do what Colleen has suggested by slowly introducing it mixed with breastmilk. I would however suggest at first to introduce it during day feeds so yuo can see if there is an allergy. Formula is thicker, yes, but she might still get up to eat during the night every 4 hours instead of every 2-3 hours and then once she is getting used to it and on it fully she might only get up every 7 hours so she'll eat once during her ngiht. Dont' go in thinking you will get a full nights sleep the first night, it wont happen and if it does then wow that's great but things change and it can just be a whim. My daughter slept through once so far, i thought wow finally...nope not goingt o happen now lol. My son is 2yrs old and i hate to be the barer of bad news, but he still gets up sometiems during the night.

You are in no way selfish, you need to be able to function to take care of your daughter and if it means substituting formula then so be it. I'm sure she would rather a happy mother then a grmpy guss:)

Either decission you make it is for YOU and your BABY, no one else. Don't let others beat you down and saying formula will kill your child. It wont. I am all for breastfeeding but when you can't you can't. Some have medical issues some are jsut not able to feel comfortable with it and some are just so exhausted they can't go on doing it. It's normal and all part of being a parent. Don't stress too much about this. Do what you feel is best for you. If after you have changed her and you feel guilty about it, it is normal to freel that way. I did with both my kids and was depressed for about a month after taking them off breastmilk. Have a good support system in place to help you through this time.

Good luck:)

Lydia - posted on 01/15/2010

I felt so much better after making the switch to exclusively bottlefeeding my bub. The stress was gone and I actually got a chance to enjoy bonding with her. It also meant that hubby got the chance to feed her- including some night feeds which meant better sleep and happier parents. Whatever they say about formula I am yet to meet anyone who was actually any worse off for having it. Experiment a little and find what works best for you and your baby and that is the best thing a mother can do :)

Amy - posted on 01/15/2010

I feel the same way you do! With my first child I exclusively breastfed and as a result was up every hour on the hour. He was very slow to eat and by the time I went back to bed he was hungry again. We did this for 6 weeks and I had to go back to work and was relieved to have an excuse to formula feed. With my 2nd I was a stay at home mom so I tried it again. It went much better this time and this baby was a good eater and rarely ever woke me up at night. However she was hungry alot during the day. After 2 months i was tired of my entire day revolving around my boobs so I quit. I dont regret it at all. I did what I could without straining our bond. When I started to resent her just for wanting to eat I knew it was time to do something else. Never feel guilty. you love your baby and want whats best for her and part of that is doing what is best for her mommy!

Sarah - posted on 01/15/2010

It's so nice not being alone! I had my 3rd child last November, and I just stopped breastfeeding a week ago because I couldn't do it anymore. My nipples were so sore I'd scream everytime she latched on, and she wouldn't keep her latch at the begining of a feeding. I wanted so bad to be able to breastfeed her for at least a year since I wasn't able to breastfeed my other 2 children for more than a month due to poor milk production.

I beat myself up about wanting to switch to formula, but I happy mommy is worth a lot more to a baby than one that is going crazy from being so tired! Since I've switched to formula (a sensitive kind), she has been sleeping for 6-8 hours a night! It's great considering I have 2 other babies under 3 years old. My other 2 children are completely happy, healthy, and on track. I don't think it matters how you feed your baby, but that you are spending quality time with them and teaching them things.

Don't feel bad. A happy mommy means a happy baby!

Jaime - posted on 01/15/2010

Is this your first child? There seems to be an undercurrent of perfectionism here. Stop. You're not a horrible mother. Horrible mothers don't care about breast feeding. If breastfeeding is not for you, then it's not for you and it's not selfish to let something go that is making you miserable. Your health and wellbeing is just as important as your child's.

Carrie - posted on 01/15/2010

I hated it, too, although I did my best with my two daughters. For the first one, I did NOT make enough for her, and we felt everyone was dishonest in saying you make as much as the baby needs. NOT true for me. She NEVER slept well and ALWAYS cried until we introduced formula. Then her entire demeaner changed. She simply was NOT getting enough. I remember she downed 8 oz. of formula during her Baptism Mass at 4 mos. That is A LOT for that age. At any rate, do what you need to do for YOU. You are no good to your daughter if you are spent. You need to be on top of it. Also, I agree that the first 3 days are the most important due to the collastrum (sp?)/infection fighters.

Mary - posted on 01/15/2010

at 4 months she should be feeding at longer intervals throughout the day, and sleeping 5-6 hours at a stretch through the night. If she's not, start to lengthen the time between feedings by 15 minutes. You could feed her the cereal by spoon instead of putting it in her milk--it may work.

Jenny - posted on 01/15/2010

I also had a horrible time with breastfeeding my boys (both were over ten pounds at birth, and I was bleeding and had mastitis with both from the start). I was made to feel like an abusive mom whenever I expressed my desire to stop. I only lasted six weeks, and only because of the pump.

With my second, I had to give up even earlier due to mastitis hitting right away, and it getting worse, not better, as I struggled on with the pump. I had midwives (this was in England) who, unlike with the first, were totally supportive emotionally, and told me it was time to focus on enjoying my baby and moving on from the feeding that was causing such a horrible problem for me physically.

My point is that you have to do what's right for you. 4 months of doing something so intensive that you can't stand is an amazing achievement. You did it for you little girl, and that's wonderful. But maybe it's time to move on and focus on all the other aspects of parenting. You are a great mom. Just remember that. And you're not alone, no matter what the breastfeeding police tell you! :)

Krystie - posted on 01/15/2010

so stop, i hate that i am saying that as i am happily breastfeeding my 5 month old and my 2yr old gets milkies at bed time, i am a lucky one who actually doens mind breastfeeding.

now what makes me upset is the Dr expecting a 4 month old to sleep all night, mine doesnt, she wakes 2-5 times a night, all i do is roll over, lift my top, latch her on and go back to sleep, i bedshare, that helps me not be so tired. but if you really feel you wold be better quiting, then quit, 4 months is amazing.

Kiz

Tammi - posted on 01/15/2010

I tried breastfeeding for a month because of the health of the baby. I then went to formula because I did not like breastfeeding. My kids turned out fine. One is 11 and one is 14. I think at the beginning it is important but after that I think it is overrated.

Tammi

Veronica - posted on 01/15/2010

I "tried" breastfeeding for 3 weeks and hated every minute of it. I wanted to stop and switch to formula, but nearly EVERYONE around me hassled me about what an injustice I was doing to my baby and how he'd always be sick and grow up to be overweight, etc. Finally, I just listened to my instinct and switched to the formula. It was the best decision I ever made. My son is now 20 months old and has never had an ear infection, never been on antibiotics, is in the 65th percentile in weight (so not overweight) and doing very well. As it turned out, my son's phrenulum (spelling?) was too short and that was probably why nursing him was so difficult, but I felt like people gave me the once over just based on my decision to switch... From that experience, I am a "I HATE BREASTFEEDING" spokesperson because I do not feel like anyone should be made to feel that horrible over something like this. My suggestion is to do whatever you feel is best for you because chances are it's also best for your daughter.

Mindy - posted on 01/14/2010

Hi there, I recommend the book 'On Becoming Babywise' for helping to teach babies to sleep through the night. It helped me with all 3 of my kids and all of my friends' kids. Using the advice in the book, my oldest was sleeping through by 2 months and my twins (who were smaller and born 3 wks earlier) were sleeping through by 3 months. I think the most important advice from the book is not letting your baby take long naps during the day. Then the night time 'naps' will get longer and longer until they're sleeping through. I remember how exhausted I was before they started sleeping through the night, and how amazingly better I felt when they started sleeping through. Good luck to you!

Rebecca - posted on 01/14/2010

I'm on Ob/Gyn and with my work schedule, I only nursed/pumped for four months. The new formulas with DHA/ARA are so much better, don't feel guilty stopping breastfeeding. Robbing your child of a mother that has the physical and emotional energy to bond, play, laugh, and smile will be more detrimental than giving her formula. By the way, my daughter who is now 4, is as smart and healthy as any kid her age. You have plenty of time to rack up the guilt feelings, don't stress over this one!

Angie - posted on 01/14/2010

You're doing a great job and if you can just hang on 2 more months, your daughter will get all the benefits of breastfeeding. I know it's not easy (I've spent 33 months of my life breastfeeding) but you can do it! I'm so proud of you for sticking with it, even when you don't want to. I remember feeling the same way when my kids were baby but now that they're older (9, 11 and 17 in a couple of weeks) I miss those times when they were so dependent on me.

Kylie - posted on 01/14/2010

oh you've done really well. can you lay down to nurse and try to relax or nap when breast feeding? It's been proven that cereal does not make a baby sleep through..so i don't know why your Doc would recommend that.

You sound like you need some me time and a bit of break to refresh and reassess. Perhaps some more encouragement and support from your family or partner is needed. I wouldn't give up just yet..there just needs to be a balance..Bf should be a relaxing, settling time for both of you and if its not working and making you feel drained it may be time to try something different. but don't switch to formula because you think it will make baby seep through..it doesn't work that way.

4 months is a great effort! Don't beat yourself up.

Cara - posted on 01/14/2010

I struggled with this also. I ended up pumping for a month and giving her formula half of the time. My daughter wouldn't latch on right and we were both frustrated. I realized that I was driving myself nuts, and my baby deserves a happy mom.

Honestly, babies are fine on formula. I was never given one drop of breast milk, and I didn't get a cold until age 2. I also have a great immune system.
You gave it your best shot and made it longer that a lot of women do, so if you are miserable then just stop. I had such a difficult time stopping (went back and forth in my mind for days), but was sooooo relieved when it was finally over. Just drop the guilt, and give your baby lots of love...that's all she needs.

PS My daughter has the same birthday as yours!

Mackenzie - posted on 01/14/2010

Stop pumping, its really a waist of time and probably what is causing most of the energy drain. Just make sure you eat a lot and drink a lot of fluids. Have a beer and relax. The breast feeding really starts to get easier right about now. Also, they really don't need baby food until 6 months old so don't bother. Just lay the baby beside you, nurse and the two of you should fall right back a sleep. In the next couple of months you'll see the baby naturally start to sleep for longer stretches.

Rachel - posted on 01/14/2010

switching to formula is a good idea but from a mother who stoped at 2 months anf switched myself i would recomend doing it gradually. start out with one bottle then breat or bottles atnight until the babys belly gets use to the formula. fornula is alot thicker then breast milk and cause cause much more spit up and gas in the baby so do it slowly but by a week at most you should be done with breast feeding. you also just dont want to stop for you! your breast will be very full and tender..a very bad pain if baby stops sucking as much you will gradually prodice less milk

good luck :)

Megan - posted on 01/14/2010

No you are not a horrible mother! You are a very tired mother! I would stop and switch to forumla. I tried to breastfeed. Niether lasted very long at all... I loved the emotional bond of it but it takes A LOT out of you! Plus your baby can sense when you are upset and you dont want her to feel that coming from you. The only thing she wants and needs right now is love! You are one tough mama for sticking it out this long in my book! Good luck!

Jenny - posted on 01/14/2010

Oh, one more interesting tidbit... At around the 2-year mark, I started losing weight like crazy, with both kids. Over 50 pounds with my son! So that was a plus. :)

Jenny - posted on 01/14/2010

You are NOT a horrible mother! You are a NORMAL mother. I didn't find that starting cereal helped at all. The only thing that finally got me some sleep (what I needed most) was bringing my daughter into my bed to sleep. That way all I had to do was roll over to nurse. She wouldn't take a bottle, either. Are you working? That makes it much tougher. I went back to work when she was 6 mos to a year... Fortunately, she was eating by then because she NEVER would take a bottle, even with my breastmilk in it. Finally I just quit work and stayed home, and yes, I spent a lot of time nursing. Try to find rejuvenating things to do for yourself, a walk, massage, whatever, to help you remember that you're more than just a milk fountain. Even though nursing was very difficult for me at first, I ended up nursing her for over 3 years, until she weaned herself. My son is 3 1/2 and still nursing, and even though I'm REALLY ready for him to wean, I'm a little sad, too, since this will almost certainly be my last baby. Try to enjoy the cuddling aspect as much as you can, and above all GET SOME SLEEP. That was what finally made me feel human again. Only you can decide what works best for you and your baby - some people think I'm nuts for cosleeping, but for us it's perfect. Oh, BTW, my daughter is now 7, sleeps contentedly in her own bed all night, and we have a wonderful, very close relationship. Good luck! Don't let it get you down, whatever you decide! -Jenny

Stephanie - posted on 01/14/2010

Hi Kristen, I gave my son breastfeeding untill he was two months after that he got formula and only in the morning breastfeeding. From the very first night he slept ten hours!!! What a pleasure, your daughter will be more greatful to have a less exausted mom. My son is now three years old and is a very healthy little boy! Don't feel guilty about it and know that your not alone. A lot of moms think the same as you!

Hope this helps!

Stephanie

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/14/2010

I am so sorry you are feeling so crummy! Breastfeeding is a full time job for sure. I personnally never did the cereal, I think I tried and my son hated it. I also didn't really enjoy it until about 5 months....constant soreness...and my son would feed every hour! mins...it is exhausting! You are doing great! 6 months is the recommended amount of time necessary for these little guys to get all they need....if you can last 2 more months, keep it up! If not...there are alot worse things you could be doing than weening! Like I said, you are doing great no matter what decision you make! Good luck!

Shelley - posted on 01/14/2010

I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time. I breastfed 4 children (all for at least a year a piece.) Breastfeeding may be natural but it doesn't come naturally to a lot of people. What I would suggest is to contact a La Leche League or a Breastfeeding consultant in your area. Make sure you are drinking plenty of water. That helps not only you but your production as well. Also, make sure the baby is at either breast for at least 15 minutes. It may be that your baby isn't getting the filling hindmilk and therefore isn't sated.

If you are having to get up during the night to feed, bring the baby to bed with you... or at the very least, bring a bassinette in the room close to the bed so it's not such a routine to have to get up. Exhaustion makes all of us tired and frustrated. It could be that a couple of nights of good sleep may make this a bit better for both of you.

You may also want to try a sling (like a maya wrap or the like) to keep the baby near you and make it easy for you to do things WHILE the baby nurses.

Within a few weeks your baby will be capable of drinking from a cup. I would never recommend to replace a breast with a bottle in a baby so close to 5 months. Go straight to a cup. Avent makes cups specifically for nursing babies. Why wean from the breast only to have to then wean from a bottle? Talk about frustration and tears!?!?

A breastfeeding professional (I used to be one) would be my bit of advice to get you over this rough patch. I think you'll find the reward of sticking to and making it over this rough patch it much more gratifying than quitting and the regret you may feel.

Another alternative to a chemically based formula may be acidophilus milk or another naturally based animal milk (I couldn't drink formula as a baby and they put me on goat's milk. Makes me shudder now but it was and is better than formula - and MUCH cheaper!)

I think Ms. Sapriken has a lot of wonderful advice - especially to mindful of growth spurts.

But please, talk to a LLL rep or a BF consultant. They may have tricks/tips that will make nursing a pleasure for you and a loving bonding time for you and your child.

Good luck! You sound like a great mother!

Julie - posted on 01/14/2010

If you're stressed, you're baby is stressed and probably wants to nurse more for comfort. Vicious cycle. But before you give up breastfeeding, think about all the benefits to your child and then the calories it burns for mom. I would really have to adjust my diet if my son wasn't feeding and helping me burn off those treats I'm still enjoying. But I agree with other posters, if you're unhappy you're not doing your child any favors.

Jessica - posted on 01/14/2010

Breast feeding is good for the baby but if it stress and drains you that is not good for you or the baby. I breast feed both my daughters for a little while but with my first my breast got engorged and it was so painfully i couldnt deal anymore and my milk dried up with the second one. Anyways, i dont know if you know how to dry up your milk if comes to it but you can use cabbage leafs which might sound weird but works.

Johnny - posted on 01/13/2010

That's okay. I hate breastfeeding too. It doesn't make you a horrible mom. Just makes you human. I'm still at it after 17 months, my daughter is a booby nut. I've learned to visualize that it's not happening and that she's just cuddling, LOL. It is so much better now than it used to be though. I remember when I was at your stage, I actually was fully convinced that my boobs were going to detach from my body due to all the sucking. She was just going to keep nursing while I slowly faded into oblivion from exhaustion. Wanting to stop is not a selfish thing, especially if you are feeling like you can't be a good mother to her because you are so tired.

Being a mom is generally physically and emotionally draining though. Especially in the first 6 months. Breastfeeding or bottle feeding, it's damn hard work. One thing to keep in mind, is that some babies are good sleepers, some are not, and others go through good phases and bad phases. The idea that formula fed babies sleep longer is really just a myth. My daughter received formula supplements from 1 month to 5 months. She didn't sleep any better because of it. I used to make sure she got a bottle right before bed, so that it would fill her up for sleep, and it totally didn't work. She still woke up 3 hours later to feed. And back then, I was also pumping 3 times a night. It really feels like it's just too much.

The advise I would give is to see if you can hold out for just one more month. 3-4 month period is often one of an enormous growth spurt, where babies are eating all the time. They seem to be so hungry, and needing so much. It can often slow down once they hit 5 months, and you may get to catch your breath. Every month that I kept at it, it got better. By the time she was 6 months, my daughter actually started sleeping for 6 hours in a row and nursing about every 4 hours during the day.

And to be honest, getting through it all, and coming out the other side actually feels pretty fantastic. Like making it to the end of a marathon. It is brutal while you are running, but making it through is exhilarating and triumphant.

Jocelyn - posted on 01/13/2010

If you hate it, then quit (and this is coming from a huge advocate for breastfeeding lol). I'd rather see a bottle fed baby with a happy competent mom than a breast fed baby whose mother feels resentment towards with child, or ends up depressed. Or better yet you can just cut down the breastfeeding to a few feeds during the day (with none at night). You have options. And if you don't like pumping, you don't have to mix the cereal with breastmilk. Hope you find something that works for you :)

Firebird - posted on 01/13/2010

I only breastfed my girl for about 2 weeks. I heard it was the first 2 weeks that were "most" important. but I was in constant pain and I was scared everytime my girl got hungry, because I knew how much it was going to hurt. I wanted to bf until she was somewhere around 6 months but that was before I found out how much it hurt me! lol So I held out until I could take no more, then switched to formula.

Autumn - posted on 01/13/2010

I definately dont think your a horrible mother!! While i was pregnant i had a hard time deciding whether or not to breastfeed at all, the only reasons i had for not wanting to were basically selfish (Ive always had sensitive breasts and dont like them being fondled in any situation lol) so i felt kinda weirded out at the thought of my daughter using them for food. (also i was only 18, only 19 now but having a baby makes you grow up a whole lot!!) So my mother was the one who pretty much guilted me into it, she explained all the benifits it has for the baby and made me realize it is completely natural and that i shouldnt feel weird about it at all. She also had to mention a million times that she nursed me untill i was 2 years old, which in my opinion is a little much. When my daughter was born and i actually started nursing her I wanted to give up after the first few feedings!! I forgot all about the labor and delivery pains and thought my nipples were going to fall off it hurt so bad, by day 2 they were cracking and bleeding and i didnt even want to wear a shirt. But I made it almost 8 months and had to quit because i had to go back to work and didnt feel comfortable pumping in the building so i had a cooler and all my supplies in my car and pumped out there on every break. that lasted about 3 weeks before i could just not do it anymore. It was very hard switching to formula though, we tried every brand on the market and she would eat it fine but she became very constipated and developed collic and thrush so we went through about 3 weeks of horrible suffering and not knowing what to do. The only thing i found that worked was cow milk so she started that at 9 months 8oz half milk half water and a liquid vitamin supplement to make up for what was in the formula and now shes almost one and doing great! So i applaud any mother who breastfeeds at all, it is quite a thing to go through and like colleen said whether its 3 days or 3 months you did your job!! =) Also i just remembered something that helped me at night alot was a co-sleeper!! My husband was deployed overseas when my lil girl was born so it was just us for 10 months and i was used to her sleeping with me in my belly so using the co-sleeper saved my life it was much easier to just scoot up next to her and attach her to the breast and fall back asleep. (not a great idea if your a heavy sleeper ive heard of babies being hurt that way but i think a moms intuition is more powerful than that and i always woke up at the slightest movement)

Sorry if i babbled!! =)

--Autumn Diaz

Sharon - posted on 01/13/2010

Just quit. Enjoy motherhood and feed her formula. Why have a baby if you can't enjoy the experience right? Cut anything out that is making you that unhappy.

Ashley=) - posted on 01/13/2010

Breastfeeding is wonderful when the mother is happy and enjoying it.You are very unhappy it seems and to be a Good mother you need to be able to enjoy raising your children and in this case its not working i would love to be able to encourage you do keep going but i feel you need to do whats best and if stopping breastfeeding is whats going to make you happy then i think you have made a good decision and this dos not in any circumstance make you a bad mom.We all no breast is best but i chose to formula feed for the same reason i was miserable doing it and i didn't even breastfed for as long as you have.Wish you the best.Don't feel guilty for the choice to stop if that's what you do decide.