i hate WoW!
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Melissa - posted on 01/24/2012
I have to agree with the bulk of these posts:
Yes, WoW must be the greatest achievement of video gaming since the arrival of Space Invaders.
Because, to be any less fantastic, my husband would have a tall order to fill with excuses for failing to a) ever play with our son, b) accept responsibility, c) assist with the daily grind of chores, d) communicate, e) etc, f) etc, g) etc.
Perhaps, the proponents 'for' WoW, whilst advocating for outsiders to be drawn into the abyss, should consider the following:
Individuals need a few basic things in life: security, communication, intimacy, a sense of achievement etc. When compared to reality, WoW provides attainable gratification and regular adrenaline boosts. It is within these emotional hypothalamic 'highs' where the true addiction lies.
Consider this scenario: While member of party (a) is successfully ticking off game quests, procuring gold, and interacting with other players, happily gaining momentum in the gaming world - member of party (b) is left behind in reality, with nothing but the daily grind to cater to their basic emotional and relationship needs.
Remember that saying> The one which portrays the necessity of common goals between couples??? When your partner is unresponsive, indifferent, noncommittal etc., there is going to be a rift between you.
It is hard to confront the issue, especially when the first person is so adamant that they don't have a problem, and "If their partner would only wait until they had finished their quest" they would be happy to kiss the kids goodnight.
Remember, denial is the first sign of protecting oneself against a truth. To all players of WoW, just be careful; keep interacting with your loved ones, keep achieving results in real life - and you won't have a problem.
Jenn - posted on 11/16/2010
LOL I never thought I'd see this topic on here.
My ex introduced me to WoW and I was a WoW widow until I finally gave in and tried it. For a while I was pretty addicted myself, but at the time my son was16 and he ended up playing as well, so no one was neglected. We actually spent more time together when we played.
Then I got bored with it and played less and less until I stopped altogether when I was pregnant with my daughter. Recently I found myself missing it, as did my son, so we decided to play again. I only play for about an hour or two when my daughter (13 months) is in bed for the night. I would never neglect her for a computer game.
I think it's all about knowing what your priorities are. REAL life comes first and thats all there is too it. Part of the reason why my ex is an ex is because no matter how many times I asked him to put the real world before the computer one, he wasn't capable of it. It had gotten to a point that he was planning his real life or even worse, canceling real life plans because of a guild meeting in-game, or because other members wanted to do group activities. It's part of the reason why he's now an ex.
So I can actually understand both sides of this. Maybe the "widows" can try and negotiate something with their spouses. Have set computer hours, or even a computer free day, where the computer doesn't get turned on at all, no email, no facebook, no WoW. And you should probably work something out soon because the next expansion comes out in December I believe and the WoW addicts will be glued to their computers even more than usual.
Melissa - posted on 11/10/2010
Oh Lordy, Yes video games, drugs and alcohol can all be addictive. Anything can be. If you do not solve the root problem, getting rid of WOW, drugs or alcohol will only solve a symptom and not the problem. Addictive personalities can be very dangerous to themselves. Low self esteem, inability to trust, communication issues, all contribute. Get to the root of the problem and WoW wont be the alluded problem any longer.
Kelly - posted on 11/10/2010
My husband was a gaming nerd when I met him and I knew what I was in for when I married him. He is not addicted to WOW but does play it 3 hours each night. He cannot play it any more than that as I am addicted to playing The Sims 3 (another open ended game) and I get the computer for the other 3 hours. Each saterday we cut off all electricity to the home and spend the day together. Saves electricity and the inclination to turn on the TV/Computer is not there. We play board games or go to the park instead. Im glad he is a gamer. Cant imagine what it would be like to be married to a local footballer tradie who comes home paraletic drunk every night. (Im aussie btw). Life is good with a gamer. Quiet...and nothing gets broken lol. BTW we have two little girls under two years of age and we NEVER sacrifice our time with them for gaming. Thats just WRONG.
Theresa - posted on 11/10/2010
I have felt the same way until I mentioned to my husband he wouldn't like it if he came home for work and I left him alone with the kids the rest of the night. He now asks if I need anything before he plays and helps get the kids ready for bed and spends quality time with all of us before he plays with his imaginary friends.
Nicole - posted on 11/10/2010
Rhea, you're the only person I've heard of talk about guild meetings. The people I know don't have guild meetings, so they sit at home night after night playing WoW. They never get out with friends, the kids rarely get to a park, or the zoo or anywhere else kids should be going at their ages unless their grandparents take them. That is just SAD.
It has taken over their lives and they never venture out with people and have face to face interactions.
There is nothing wrong with meeting people online, however, there is a balance in life where you need to have daily interactions with people other than your children or your immediate family. Online friends may become important to you as well, but I believe you need a little of both. You can't just sit in your house all the time glued to your computer. That is NOT normal.
Rhea - posted on 11/10/2010
yes you can make real and good friends playing world of warcraft. You DO talk to these people voice to voice when you play with Vent (and almost all raiders use Vent or its hard to raid properly). I have become very good friends with a few people from my guild, and I do know them outside of WoW now. My guild meets once a year in person, so yes, friendships are made. Normal people don't need to meet people out in public, in person first. I met my fiancé online 14 years ago. We're both normal. Meeting people on the internet is as normal as anything else!
Nicole - posted on 11/10/2010
Emma - not necessarily. My husband has no clue how to setup a router or make changes to it. He is a gaming nerd but not an IT nerd. Some gamers do know this stuff and therefore you'd have to take a different approach - establishing priorities, rules about gaming, etc.
Kym - posted on 11/09/2010
he he. This is such an interesting thread. I'm often a WOW widow sometimes i love it and sometimes i hate it. I love it when i get the TV to myself and can watch what i want and sometimes i hate it when my husband hasn't done what he's supposed to or i want to spend time with him etc. He's asked me to join him but i just can't get into it. Computer games just aren't my thing. We've had many a discussion over the time he spends. Cause we're in Oz he like playing til 2 or 3 in the morning cause it's great game time for him. This used to stress me out cause i thought he wasn't able to look after our bubs and help me out due to being tired but he usually copes with it and manages to get out of bed at 7 and help us out. So can't complain on the main. (but i have thought about getting rid of the computer on occasions :-))
Staum - posted on 11/09/2010
Ok after having to look it up as i had no idea what WoW was :P i can feel your pain!! Thankgod my husband doesnt know it otherwise he'd be hooked!! Lets just keep that one hidden!! Personally im not into anything along the lines of computer games!
Tracey - posted on 11/09/2010
my son played wow to the point he was not sleeping or eating. just drinking red bull to keep him going. i eventually cut the internet off on him and he ended up moving out to his fathers where he continued playing wow like never before. his father eventually kicked him out and back to me he came. wow was a huge issue with us and he eventually stopped playing. his girlfriend deleted his characters on him and filmed the whole episode and now is going to be seen on mtv's pranked on dec 16. so good that he doesn't play it anymore and good that he is getting his 5 mins of fame out of it also. all in all wow will ruin family and relationships.
Nicole - posted on 11/09/2010
WoW is horrible. My husband is a long time gamer, from childhood Dungeons and Dragons, to PS2, XBox. He started playing WoW while he was in Iraq. It gets so addictive, he would come home from work, get on his computer and ignore our son until it was almost time to go to bed. Its insidious and it sneaks up on you, like most other addictions. Since it started to affect my son, I had to put my foot down. I just blocked the damn website on my router! That got his attention! LOL I don't agree with one comment about "might as well create a character and join in". I know a family where the wife took that approach and it had mushroomed into the wife, husband, and both kids (one is 4) all playing WoW. They come home from school/work, get on WoW, eat dinner at their separate computers, etc. What kind of family life is that? They claim they've made some good friends on WoW. Friends? LMAO, they have never met these people IRL, don't talk to them on the phone. Sorry, but that's not the way normal people make friends.
I suggest that if you have a Router, learn how to login to it and block the WoW websites. Sometimes men need to be hit over the head with a brick before they realize they are affecting everyone in a bad way with this stuff!
LINDA - posted on 11/09/2010
i just think it's all sad. you get married, and in the back of your mind you're thinking, "hope he doesn't go thru mid life crisis, and replace me with some young bimbo etc etc." i would have never thought in a million yrs that he would have let a GAME come between us. Especially as he used to criticize his younger brother for playing online games for hours and hours. Double standards... anyhow, i think what it boils down to is "what doesn't kill u, makes u stronger".. he screwed up, and has to live with himself for that.
Amanda - posted on 11/09/2010
Im going to respond to this post even though its clear someone made up an account and then deleted it just to post this.
Wow a little jugmental are we, AMANDA...This is supposed to be a pleasant place to share advice and get tips, maybe you should take your hateful comments elsewhere. If you have nothing positive to add to this blog! P.S I can tell you must have real healthy relationship if your response to too much gaming is to cut his internet connection or get rid of his computer ( I can almost feel the maturity radiating from you)
Actually my husband and I have a great mature relationship. He plays video games, as do everyone in the home, and if ever video games ever became a problem, we would not blame the game. We are responsible, and adult enough to realize the problem is within us, and has nothing to do with the game itself. As for judgmental, it is not judgement to state realistic statements. Just because you do not agree with my opinions on the subject it does not make my comments negative, or judgemental. If anyone TRULY wants advice, then they must be willing to hear ALL sides of the opinions including the ones they do not agree with (that would be what maturity is).
Addictions are symptoms of other issues, therefore WoW is not responsible for the break of any relationship, all it is… is binary code made to look pretty. It has no opinions, no feelings, and does not care if you play with it or not. Humans are the reason why relationships break down, not games.
Kathleen - posted on 11/09/2010
It's finding a balance. I play as well as my husband. We know not to play all day. If there is a raid we plan to make sure we both are not in the raid. He is usually the raider and normally only raids one night a week. Other than that it's a few hours here and there during the week. Which works out. He play when he gets home till dinner is ready or when I'm sleeping as he has a crazy work schedule. It is possible to play computer games such as WoW as long as it does not interfere with life. There are a ton of people male and female that can get this way. Once though when I thought it was bad I allowed the trash to build up. It was his job normally to take it out. It took only once to take out 5 trash bags for him to realize....
Keri - posted on 11/09/2010
You can not blame a video game for problems. The problem lies in the USER not the GAME. My husband and I both play WoW. However we ONLY play it in our free time. That means AFTER work, AFTER the housework, AFTER the baby is down for the night and AFTER we have talked about our days, discussed anything needing to be discussed, etc. In short, we keep in sight what our priorities are and the game is just that...A GAME...NOT our whole life.
WoW is not the issue here, the issue is your SO's use of it. If he is addicted to a video game, then he has an addictive personality, which means if it wasn't WoW that he was wrapped up in, it would be something else.
I DO sympathize with you, I understand how frustrating and lonely it is dealing with a partners addiction(to anything). It is never fun, but you can't blame the object of their addiction...including drugs, gambling and alcohol. All of these things(drugs excluded) are harmless indulgences for other people. It all depends on the person and the choices they make, where these things are involved.
Vette - posted on 11/09/2010
@ Kimberly Craig , honestly sarcasm is demeaning to her feelings, I dont see the need for it . @ Anna been married for 14 years this yr and together with dh and he has had the addiction of drugs, porn & gaming . its hard work to get them off it but if you guys feel the relationship is worth it, work on it. i cant write a book on how we made it but we did , lots of prayers for you both. positive thoughts, blessings,Yevette
Anna - posted on 11/09/2010
From experience, I think a huge part of the appeal to a lot of people is the anonymity of the social experience in the game. You can be whoever you want to be and interact with whoever you want with little to no consequence for it. I know two couples who split because one person in each relationship began having online "cybersex" sessions and affairs, things these people would likely NEVER have done in real life or face to face with the people they interacted with. But, in today's age of global interactivity, there are many forums that provide that anonymity. Clearly those who devote their lives to playing this game have some kind of problem in their lives; the game is just the forum that provides the escape they're seeking. And as much as I enjoyed playing the game, because I truly did (Blizzard, the company that makes the game, has done a tremendous job with it), I wouldn't recommend that anyone pick it up for these exact reasons, just as I wouldn't recommend that anyone picks up smoking or drinking to relax.
LINDA - posted on 11/09/2010
Dan Rather did a feature on the news dealing with this very same subject: WOW! Labeling it the #1 cause of divorce in the USA and Canada. This was just over 2 yrs ago, was very interesting. The problem, as i said before, isn't the game in itself. It's the man/woman with the addictive personality that's the problem. The person that uses anything/everything as a vehicle to hide from life. Yes, everyone needs to be able to decompress for lifes stresses. I have a 19 yr old son, an 18 yr old son, and twin 17 yr old sons....do i need to decompress? Absolutely. But you don't see me taking a 14 hour long bath in order to do that (everyday). And this is what my ex was doing. Hiding in his office behind closed doors for 10+ hrs EVERYDAY.. he wouldn't even come to bed at night. I have to add that before WOW came into our home, we had very few issues. And being that we have 4 teenage boys, we had lots of video games in the house etc., so the opportunity was there if he sooo chose.. there has to be balance!
Anna - posted on 11/09/2010
My husband and I actually met playing WoW, and it was fun and social when we didn't have a kid. But now that we do, and since we've stopped playing (about a year ago), we're both glad we broke the cycle. That game is truly a lifestyle for a lot of people, and can ruin relationships.
Janice - posted on 11/09/2010
LOL my hubby has been playing WOW for years and I have felt the same way at times. Now I'm so used to him holed up in the comp. room that its frustrating when he isn't playing and wants the TV. They call it Warcrack for a reason
Dana - posted on 11/09/2010
I find it funny that so many people take offense that there are actually WoW addicts out there...or that people may hate the game. Yeah, it's only a game, so what do you care if someone hates it.
And yeah, it's obviously not JUST WoW that's an addictive game but, never the less, anyone can hate the game if they want to. If my husband spent all his time playing, I'd hate the game, it's a lot healthier than hating your husband.
LINDA - posted on 11/09/2010
WOW came into our home via xmas gift for my 4 teenage sons 7 yrs ago..my husband took over... kids hardly played it, i've now been a single mom for 2 yrs because of it. Turns out he didn't know the meaning of prioritizing... and he was forced to make a choice.. he choose WOW... poof, bye bye, to 19 yrs of marriage... all my friends said, "get rid of the computer".. he would have simply gone out and bought another one. I confiscated the game.. he simply went out and bought another. I hid the credit card so that he wouldn't be able to renew the membership when it expired.. he simply borrowed a friends credit card. we discussed boundaries, expectations.. he ignored them. He could not bring himself to turn off the game. He blew off work, his family etc., it became an addiction. Yes, WOW is only a game, a gun is only a gun, pot is only pot, but in the wrong hands can be lethal...
April - posted on 11/09/2010
speaking as a wife who's husband has played WOW as well as many other video games, it is not necessarily WOW that is the problem. my husband has stopped playing and now plays another game. I created a character when he first started and it wasn't my thing, but we have an understanding that it is just a game and if he is needed for anything he gets off. I think that talking about boundries and expectations is key to not allowing these games to ruin a relationship. as far a addiction goes, it doesn't matter if it is alcohol, drugs, video games or something else addiction is addiction and if that is the case help should be gotton.
Rhea - posted on 11/09/2010
I'm playing WoW right now ^^ It's not WoW you should hate, it's a great game. Some people don't know how to stop playing. My fiancé used to play during all the free time he had. He's learned (with my help/nagging) that he also needs to spend time with us, and he does, so I don't mind when he plays. If he didn't, that means I"d have to share the remote :|
Lauren - posted on 11/09/2010
Obviously dome people do have serious problems. But, other then being a waste of £9 a month and your time, it isn't harmful to your health. So if you are addiction prone, it's probably better then drugs or gambling. I do know people whom were married and met other people on wow and a such it broke up a family. But in all honesty, Facebook Is just as addictive and I know plenty of relationships that have faultered do to it. In any case, all things should be taken in moderation.