I have a 2-year old son and he is still not potty trained, he resist going to potty in his little potty, he has maybe used it like three times, but doesn't want to use it consistently, with my girl it was so easy to trained, any suggestions?

Donna - posted on 01/19/2009

I have a girl, then 3 boys (2 of which are trained) Danielle loved the pot 2 the piont that we had trouble getting her 2 use a toilet, then Callum wouldn't go any where near the potty, so we started him off stright on the toilet with one of those kids seats that fit the toilets. Every time me or hubby went we took him too, Andrew was like the 1st loved the potty as much as Danielle. But with Andrew we tried training him and he started getting streed so we let if go for 2weeks then tried again with fantastic results. When started again he still wouldn't use the toilet until one day we found out at a friends house that he loved to wee on their blue toilet water. YES good bye potty. The 1st 2 trianed day and night within a week, and the 3rd took 1week of traing, 2weeks off then took 3weeks with LOTS of rewards to be fully day and night trained. So I have found that it donsen't matter if they r boys or girls. So if yours dosen't like the potty, maybe try give the training a break 4 a week or 2 but then when u start again try giving the choice of the potty or the toilet.

User - posted on 01/19/2009

I HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD THAT WILL BE FIVE IN JULY. SCHOOL WILL START IN AUGUST AND I REALLY WANT HIM TO GO, HOWEVER HE IS NOT POTTY TRAINED. WE HAVE DONE EVERYTHING WE COULD THINK OF, INCLUDING MANY OF THE SUGGESTIONS ON THE BOARD. I AM SO FRUSTRATED AN VERY UNHOPEFUL. I HAVE TWO OLDER CHILDREN AND HAD LITTLE PROBLEMS WITH THEM. I ALSO HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD AND HE IS SO EXCITED ABOUT POTTY TRAINING. WHAT AM I TO DO JUST WAITING IS NOT GOING TO WORK.

Jennifer - posted on 01/19/2009

I had a hard time with my son too......put the potty away for a few months then try again. My son was 3.5 when he was finally trained....it was summer and I got fed up...put him in underwear and went outside...LOL!! One accident and he was unhappy about being wet...trained after that in 3 days. Boys mature slower than girls so chances are he is just not ready. Keep trying every few months....he'll get there!

Amy - posted on 01/19/2009

I have 2 boys and am due in 5 weeks with my first girl. My oldest son was fully potty trained (even overnight) by the time he was 2 1/2, which was right around the time his brother was born. My younger son, on the other hand, is almost 3 and only goes on the potty sometimes. He has pooped on the potty maybe a total of 6 times, and pees on the potty only a couple times a day (sometimes). Whether he even wants to go near the potty varies from day to day, as sometimes he wants nothing to do with it. Sometimes I get frustrated since I know his brother was potty trained earlier, but I keep reminding myself that they also have had their own timetables as far as other developmental milestones and this is just another one that won't match up exactly. The more I push him the more upset he gets. So, even though I wish he were potty trained before I have to be buying diapers for his sister too, I know he needs to do it in his own time. Good luck!!

Rachel - posted on 01/19/2009

Dear Belinda,

My son is 2 and has just recently overcome that obstacle.  it was quit a challenge.  DO NOT give up.  positive reinforcement and congrats when he does make it.  Mine had an overwhelming fear of the potty for a long time.  it helped for him to see another kid the some age use the potty.  i went out and got the same potty seat insert she had for our big potty and that really helped.  when i became pregnant with my second child i freaked ( because diapers are not cheap), but a wise mama told me to just wait, that Eli would train when Abi got here.  And to my amazement he did.  the accidents became fewer and fewer and now we are on the ball.  Constant, "you are such a big boy" and "i am so proud of you" just for sitting on the potty, don't make him feel like he has to pee pee when he sits down, that will come.  let him try it with his clothes on at first, and let him have the potty in the living room while the movie is on, or in his room while he plays, so he gets use to it.  Kids are taught from birth that the diaper is a toilette and this is hard to understand why they must suddenly give that up.  plus boys flat out do not want whatever they are doing interrupted.  go to your local library and look for the book "Elimination Communication", the diaper free baby.  the book is lengthy, but has overviews at the end of the chapters.

Don't worry mama, he'll get it!  he can since when you are upset (this was the hardest part for me...remaining positive)

Good luck and i also prayed about it to relieve me and my kid.


love

rachel tanenbaum

Jessica - posted on 01/19/2009

I have a 3 year and a 4 year old both are boys.  Try the potty training in one day system you can get it at pottytrainingconcepts.com it's fantastic, I tried everything before this.  IT WORKS

Gisele - posted on 01/19/2009

My boys like the big toilet... The potty never worked for us...  They see dad and mom use the big toilet and they want to do the same.  I have a 3 yr old that's fully potty trained even at night and it took some time and I washed a lot of clothes but real underwear (it's important for him to feel wet) and lots of praise and encouragement and some treats never hurt either.  My 19 month old has been using the toilet for 3 monthes now. He's not completly toilet trained but we're working towards it....  He loves using the toilet and 9 out of 10 times he will pee when we put him on.  Get his sister involved too...  My yougest gets even more excited when his big brother praises him...  Good luck.

Barb - posted on 01/19/2009

I have a 3 year old. WIth him I never pushed. I just kept reminding him that we have to try and go on the potty because he is a big boy. He caught on but he was trained before he turned 3. He does still have accidents at night but that is normal to. I think we as mothers stress about it  and the kids pick up on that stress. Just try to relax about it. I was told "I have never met a kid who went to school and still wore diapers"...LOL it use to bug me but now I understand it does not help to stress about it.

Tanya - posted on 01/19/2009

He's only 2! My son is just newly potty trained and he's almost 4. Give it time and don't stress over it.

Chrissy - posted on 01/19/2009

my mother ran a daycare for 30yrs and i wrked with her most of my life. i experienced that most kids don't potty train til around 2.5 to 3 yrs old(with few eraly cases). especially boys. they are more imiture and a little behind then girls. if he is not ready don't keep pushing b/c he will only rebel. give him some time. wait a couple of months and try again. my daughter is 2.5 and doesn't want any part of it. we made progress over the summer, but thanks to an ear infection and getting rid of the pacifier that came to a screeching halt. i ask her i try, but nothing yet. i figure when the weather gets a little warmer and she can run around in a diaper or panties it may be easier. have patience boys and girls are very different.

Amandia - posted on 01/19/2009

Don't sweat it...Girls train way sooner than boys. I have three boys. My youngest has just turned two. My older two did not even show interest in the potty until almost three. I think you will only frustrate yourself and him if you try to push it. If there is one thing I have learned through my potty training experiences, it is that they will do it when they are ready...and that isn't necessarily when you are.

Leisa - posted on 01/19/2009

He might not be ready. Don't worry. You might hate this idea but I let my little guy walk around with no diaper and that helped him to use the potty. We didn't have any accidents around the house. We also let him choose some underwear and encouraged him not to wet the characters. When he did wet he could feel it so he eventually he used the potty. But, don't worry, he'll use it when he's ready.

Stacy - posted on 01/19/2009

My son was harder to potty train as well.  We used food coloring to let him see that he did "magic" and we also put Cheerios for him to aim at.  I still took a little time but he started enjoying it and would start saying, "i need to do magic" and we knew that meant going to the potty.

Laci - posted on 01/18/2009

My son is finally potty trained at the age of 3 1/2. He didn't want to go potty either, but maybe if you have someone that he is close to to help encourage him go will really help. My mother got him started for me, and trust me, you have to take them every 30 minutes if you want to get some where on it. We rewarded him every time he went potty with an m&m or some kind of candy, and we also did a "potty dance" call me crazy, but it worked, and I never thought I would see the day of him being potty trained. He had to be potty trained to get in to day care where I live, and FINALLY got it done. Hope this helps some.

Stephanie - posted on 01/18/2009

I've heard of people using ping pong balls

Michelle - posted on 01/18/2009

For my son potty training was hard also but we found a good way.... it may sound funny or weird but it actually worked and made him wanna go!

My husband brought him into the bathroom with him when he had to go and grabbed a handfull of cheerios and put them in the toilet and went pee and each time he peed on one  lol he was like yaaaaaaaaaaahhhh got it and then went to another and did the same lol he made it into a lil game that my son enjoyed playing lol

try makin it fun for him just a suggestion

Stephanie - posted on 01/18/2009

I wouldn't worry. My son was a bit over 4 before he was cinsistently dry during the day. I'd been trying to toilet train him for nearly 2 years before that he just woke up one day and decided for himself that it was time. Hope that helps.

Lisa - posted on 01/18/2009

I had to dis-enroll my 3 yr. old son from pre-school because he was slow in potty training. I was stressed at first but when I stopped pushing him, he made huge strides on his own. I gave him the time and space that he needed and we are seeing success. He still needs some assistance (he is shorter in heighth than average) so he stands on my feet to pee. And we've had an extra year together.

Jennifer - posted on 01/18/2009

My boy is 4,  Born in August.  He just started using the potty.  Everyone just told me he would use it when he is ready and to not worry about it.  And he did.  After that first time, we were all good!  He was pretty good with the peeing, but the pooping was hard.  And really... It sucks changing a 4 year olds butt!!! Just stick with it.  Give it a break for a little bit if not making any progress and then try again.  he will be ready soon enough :)

Rashauna - posted on 01/18/2009

Most boys are not ready to train until 3 years old. Have your husband show him how as often as possible... and dont stress for now. I used a reward chart for my boys.... It worked for the oldest. the middle one just flat out refused. happy training.

Holly - posted on 01/18/2009

I have three boys and a girl and they were all different. The boys were definately harder! Give him time, he will go when he wants to not when you force him to. It's not a reflection on you if he's not potty trained at 2.  My grandma said don't worry they will be trained soon enough. It's ok if he's 3 or even 4, just enjoy him being little, time will go by to quick to worry about potty training.

Tara - posted on 01/18/2009

Sorry in advance for the blutness!  You are just causing him and yourself alot of frustration.  He is not going to go to college in diapers.  I thought my son had to be potty trained ealy too.  My friends told me what I am telling you.  I took their advice, left him alone, but just asked if he wanted to put on big boys underwear about every other week.  One day at  3 1/2 he said yes, he potty trained himself and we did not even have an accident after that. 

Tone Lise - posted on 01/18/2009

I guess I have been lucky, 'cause I never needed to train my boy. I just told him that big boys didn't use diapers,but used the toilet. And every time he used the toilet instead of the diaper,I told him what a big boy he was and how proud He made me. At the age of 3,he even slept without diapers,and he only wet his bed once.

I'm sure your little boy will be fully trained when he finds himself ready for it.

Good luck!

Terri - posted on 01/18/2009

I have read that a good rule of thumb for when your child might be physically as well as mentally ready is the summer AFTER they turn 2 1/2. 

I had twins, one potty trained earlier than the other, the strong willed one, refused...I bought this book called "Toilet training in less than a day"...a bunch of twin moms had used it and reccommended it. by Nathan Azrin and Richard Foxx.  I didn't do the whole book (I know a mom with twins who did and it worked with her GIRLS) but it gave me some doable ideas and they worked.  The one I liked the most I shared  before...no pullups lots of water and from spot of accident we run to the potty "quickly, quickly run to the toilet", then when you get there they pull pants down, don't give them time to go this is just a quick exercise on how to run quickly and where they need to go "quickly" and you (or they if they can) pull up there pants, you go back to the same spot of accident and run quickly again to the toilet.  You do it a few times from spot of accident,  then change the place saying something like "ok if we have to go potty when we are here then how do we go...quickly. quickly!!" and take them by the hand and run them quickly to the toilet, pants down, sit down, pants up.  ok next time you need to go you run quickly here ok?  and you do this everytime they have an accident.  pretty soon they tire of the game and don't want to go.  I was able to tell my son if he didn't want to practice anymore he couldn't have anymore accidents, and he got it.  I did imagine him when I first read this tip having to drag him kicking, but I did it so quickly and we ran that he at first liked the game so didn't fight it.  thankfully.  anyways don't use pullups like someone else suggested.  training pants and plastic pants work best.  I found great prices at Target for those, didn't have a walmart at the time.  I don't use a little potty I use a toilet seat that attaches to big toilet with a stool, but they have to have balance to do it.  My seat has handles.  boys need to be taught to take aim.  Cheerios can help with that especially when they start standing up.  they like to "shoot" for the cheerios. 

Hope this helps.  If it turns to a fight it won't work.  M&M's for a prize sometimes helps.  I liked the money idea but that might not work unless you have a cool money bank to put it in that is cool to watch.

Good luck...

Kristen - posted on 01/18/2009

If you pressure them it can actually make things worse.  I wouldn't worry my son is two also.  We just sit on the potty for fun.  Just trying to make it a happy place for him.  Girls potty train much faster than boys do anywayz.  Good luck and be patient.  He will tell you when hes ready. 

Pee bubbles?  thats an idea.  I've only heard of the cheerio idea.  Where you put a cheerio in the potty and they try to aim for it. 

Kristen - posted on 01/18/2009

If you pressure them it can actually make things worse.  I wouldn't worry my son is two also.  We just sit on the potty for fun.  Just trying to make it a happy place for him.  Girls potty train much faster than boys do anywayz.  Good luck and be patient.  He will tell you when hes ready. 

Pee bubbles?  thats an idea.  I've only heard of the cheerio idea.  Where you put a cheerio in the potty and they try to aim for it. 

Jaime - posted on 01/18/2009

my son was 4 when he finally potty trained.. dont panic...

when he is ready, he will do it. lay off it for a while and when he is ready he will tell you!

the thing that got jack trained was making "pee pee bubbles" in the toilet.. when boys pee there are bubbles in the water and my son thought it was so great! LOL

Brenda - posted on 01/18/2009

Quoting Belinda:

Laura, I thought about the same thing, pull-ups don't work, he still soils them, because it truly is like a diaper, I think I am going to buy him reg undies so he can use them at home and we'll just have to put up with the accidents, until he feels uncomfortable enough that he'll want to use the potty? Maybe lol

Just a note on Pullups: We had NO success until I switched him to underwear.  He would call them diapers, and want a new diaper when he peed or pood.  Once I put the underwear on him and told him he was too big for diapers, and said there would be no more diapers for him, he almost immediately started peeing in the potty for his reward.

Brenda - posted on 01/18/2009

Boys are much harder, my 3 1/2 year old is still working on it.  We've had lots of success but also lots of regression.  To be honest, I wouldn't force the issue right now, he may just not be developmentally ready yet.  Boys mature a lot slower than girls, and every one is different.  Keep the potty around, and talk about it, but don't force him onto it.  It will only cause tears and frustration on your part and his.  Make it a real celebration for every success, that includes even sitting with his clothes on.  Clapping, cheering and dancing will make him feel like he's done something great.  I know its hard especially when you have an older one to compare them too, but the main thing is not to compare.  Two kids are going to go at two completely rates and that's okay.  Also, some sort of reward system will help immensely.  We bought a bag of dum dum suckers, and those were my son's reward for the potty and it worked really well.  Stickers were a complete failure as was the chart (though I'm about to start using the chart again with him since he's semi-regressed again).  And that's something else that happens, regression.  I guess the best advice is just to be patient and let him lead the way.  You can encourage him, but to force him will only push him farther away from using the potty at all.  Hope that helps some!  I know it is so tough, just hang in there!

Lisa - posted on 01/18/2009

my 3 year old son refused to sit on the potty which led to a lot of frustration on both sides! i invested in a fisher price singing potty ( £30.00 from argos ) and he loved it! my daughter trained on a normal potty but i find boys need a lot more encouragement and praise hes even clean for bed now and it took only 3 months. good luck!

Erin - posted on 01/18/2009

I used money as an incentive to potty train my daughter.  I found a novelty bank that moved when money was put in.  She got a quarter for a pee and 50 cents for a poo.  If you can't find a novelty bank, just a jar would work, that way your child can see his progress, and then spend the money on foolishness when he reaches a certain goal (we used $5).  Kids feel so big when they go to the store with their "potty cash".

Blessings

E

Kimberly - posted on 01/18/2009

If it helps we used to do the pee pee dance and the poopy dance.  Kind of crazy but it worked.  We used to sing especially for poopy cuz that is harder for a child. It was, "Bye Bye stinky poopy" and use whatever music works. But like I said before, still give him some time.

Belinda - posted on 01/18/2009

fanfare it is!!! if it's going to help my boy pee in the potty. :)

Belinda - posted on 01/18/2009

Laura, I thought about the same thing, pull-ups don't work, he still soils them, because it truly is like a diaper, I think I am going to buy him reg undies so he can use them at home and we'll just have to put up with the accidents, until he feels uncomfortable enough that he'll want to use the potty? Maybe lol

Angela - posted on 01/18/2009

I had my older daughter pee in the potty in front of my son. We made a HUGE DEAL about her peeing in the pott. We cheered, laughed, etc. MY son saw all the attention she was getting and then he did it. He may just not be ready. Boys seem to be slower at this.

Belinda - posted on 01/18/2009

thanks Amber, I have to remember to make it fun, kind of hard to think of pottying as fun, but I guess we have to think like kids. :)

Laura - posted on 01/18/2009

My son thought it was cool to stand up like daddy and pee,(in the big potty) he was about 2 1/2 before he was potty trained but i would suggest not using pull ups, they are just like diapers. We used the padded undies with the rubber pants on top. Only use pull ups for long trips in the car. hope this helps. Good luck!

Belinda - posted on 01/18/2009

Well I feel hopeful after reading your response, I hope my boy potty training doesn't take that long. Diapers are bloody expense, when you multiply 4 years of buying them. lol

Belinda - posted on 01/18/2009

Thanks Kimberly, I will not give up, I ask him everyday "when are you going to use the potty?", she says "NO". I guess boys tend to be a bit lazy, go figure lol

Erin - posted on 01/18/2009

With my son the little potty didn't work either.  We bought one of those kids toilet seats that you just sit on top of the big potty.  This did the trick he loved it because he could look at all the fun stuff on it and we let him put his own stickers on it too.  Anyway, it still took awhile until we weren't having any accidents but it may help.  He's three now and can actually sleep through the night without a pull-up.

Amber - posted on 01/18/2009

Potty training for boys is much harder than girls.  I have two nephews that I am very close with, ages 7 and 3.  The 3 year old is still potty training and some days are more successful than others.  Remember to make it fun.  What my sister in law did was get him a prize and hang it on the wall in the bathroom, (she used a spiderman fishing pole.)  Let him know that this will be his reward when he is finally potty trained.  Also don't forget to use cheerios and fruit loops in the toilet for targets.  Good luck...

Christina - posted on 01/18/2009

don't put your child into a cookie cutter standard of when he "should" be trained. Biggest mistake is forcing a kid - they will fight back by refusing. Get a few potty books written for kids, bribe him (there is no shame in bribing), and take your time. Most kids (despite what other moms brag about) are not trained until 3. Plus - girls are different. Give him time and give yourself some time too.

Cari - posted on 01/18/2009

I am very interested to see some response to this question as well. My son will be 4 in April and still isn't potty trained. He started in the fall of 2007, but I got pregnant and the more I started to show and the more he understood that a baby was coming the more he refused to go on the potty. It also didn't help that my 2nd son was born 2 days after my older son's 3rd birthday. He still completely refuses the potty. So don't feel bad that your 2 year old isn't potty trained. I'm still working on my almost 4 year old. haha!

Kimberly - posted on 01/18/2009

For a boy potty training is much harder. Especially at 2. Mentally they are still too young. I know lots of girls that by 18 months were trained. my first son was almost 3 by the time we got him fully trained. I then found out that I was pregnant again and after 5 months of perfect pottying(LOL) he regressed. Which is very common as well.  Don't give up hope. I would just wait another couple of months and try again.  I have a 2 year old son as well. So we are in the same boat.  Good Luck