I have a 4 year old and I am expecting another in october, what challenges will I face?

Kelley - posted on 03/14/2009

It will not be difficult at all. My children are 4years apart and they get along great. My daughter had no problem adjusting to her baby brother. Of course she wanted to be the little mommy which was soo cute and very helpful. The only challenge will be.... you will have two graduations to deal with at one time. One from Junior High and one from High School. :)

Melissa - posted on 03/14/2009

I have two boys that are 4 years apart. I didn't have any problems with jealousy or anything but my older wasn't helpful at all. I imagined him helping mom change diapers and playing with little brother... didn't happen. They are now 7 and 3 and they are just now starting to play together but it's still a challenge. My 3 yr old wants to do everything that big brother is doing and, of course, big brother doesn't want little brother following him around all the time. 

But, every kid and every set of siblings are different so just be prepared to adjust to whatever may come. Good luck and Congratulations!

Michael - posted on 03/14/2009

ive noticed with ours that a larger age gap is better, less jealousy. Also they've all been quite clucky between 4 and 7 and keen to help.

Michael - posted on 03/14/2009

ive noticed with ours that a larger age gap is better, less jealousy. Also they've all been quite clucky between 4 and 7 and keen to help.

Vela - posted on 03/14/2009

Wow, thank you all so much for the information! I feel alot better now. Have a great weekend!

Melissa - posted on 03/14/2009

I thought that 4 years apart was a perfect age gap. I, like you, was worried about the jealousy issue. But I was very lucky my daughter was/is so motherly that all she ever wanted to do was take care of her little sister. And what was best about it is she was such a good little helper, she would get me diapers and wipes when I needed them, a blanket. And she loved doing it.

Now she is 6, my little one is 2 and I just had a baby boy last week. I was very worried about the jealousy thing there cause my 6 year old is a big daddys girl but my 2 year old on the other hand is a BIG MOMMA's GIRL. And I had to have a c-section so I am currently not able to pick her up at all. But so far all is going good she is misbehaving a lot more than before (like getting into things and not listening to me) But when it comes to her brother she is as gentle as a 2 year old can be and she seems to really like him. Like when he is crying she will start crying and point to him and say up. (telling me to pick him up)

Michelle - posted on 03/14/2009

My boys are 19 months apart and another mother told me a GREAT piece of advice: I had special, new toys for my older son that I ONLY brought out during our quiet time together. It made him feel special and unique and not overlooked when all the attention came to the baby. They are 4 1/2 and almost 3 now- and best friends!

Amanda - posted on 03/14/2009

My daughter is 3 and a half and I just had my second daughter it's not as hard for me as I thought.  I just try to make sure I do things with my oldest and we even take her out once a month and let her have a day with just Mommy and Daddy.  I just try to be as far with my time as I can and when the baby is naping during the day then I do projects with Aralynn and I get my time with Lorelai to and at night.  It will be hard to keep up with the oldest when the youngest isn't sleeping though.  I'm still strugling with that one but good luck

Melissa - posted on 03/14/2009

i have a 5 year old caughter and just recently gave birth to my son. my daughter was very independant before her brother came along she was the kind of child who wold get mad if you helped her do anything. ever since we brought carson home from the hospital she has been very needy wants all of youe attention. you just need to make sur you set out 30 min a day to spend time with just him and not have the baby around it will make him feel reaalt special

Jessica - posted on 03/14/2009

LOL...oh honey...Let me tell you a funny story!! I have a 4 year old and an infant. I brought babyhome and on the 2nd day I finally had a moment to shower (I have a 15 month old as well)... I put the 2 older kids in their room and put a gate in the door jam to keep them contained and put the new baby on my bed...shower time! I got out of the shower, went to check on my baby...GONE!!! As you can imagine my heart sank to the floor!! I ran out of the bedroom and looked over the balcony that overlooks my living room....There she was, on the couch with a bottle...and my 4 year old putting her jacket on "Im gonna go get hersome more food k mom??" She figured out how to unlatch her gate, came in and somehow got her sister off the bed, carried her down a full flight of stairs and fed her. SO...if your lil guy is anything like my lil helper..BEWARE!! lol. GoodLuck!!

Heather - posted on 03/14/2009

Like the ladies below have stated, ensure you don't accidently exclude your oldest.  Include him as much as possible.  I also have two boys that are five years apart.  I noticed the more I included the older child, the more he appreciated his younger brother.  My oldest also understands the situation better as in your brother isn't going to replace you and you are still special to mom and dad.  Let your son talk to your belly and build a relationship before you even have the baby.  Basically, involve involve involve as much as possible.

Pamela - posted on 03/14/2009

My two boys are 4 1/2 years apart and the hardest thing naturally is jealousy.  It was difficult at times to balance both, but I soon discovered ways my four year old could help and we made sure we called him " mommy's big helper"  because it made him feel so special.  He helps us by getting diapers, or helping put bottles together.  We also have a special dates with him, both my husband and I.  My husband and him usually go get haircuts and then a movie,  me and him usually go out to eat somewhere.  It's was difficult at first, but you will find your own groove.  I will tell you this,  my oldest loves his brother and now that my youngest is seven mths its very funny to see them interact with each other.  It is such a joy!!!!

Carol - posted on 03/14/2009

That is such a lovely age gap. I've got 4 years and 11 months between my eldest two boys (now 21 and 16!). There's never been any jelousy between, I think its because by the time they are that age they are ready to be a big boy and help Mummy with things like fetching nappies and stuff. I wouldnt worry too much, just enjoy.