I have a very over active 8 yr old and 4 yr old. How can i keep them occupied. And how do you disipline them..

Raylene - posted on 11/05/2008

i have worked with several children now that have been labeled ADHD, one of my parents has found that putting her son and daughter in to swimming has helped her a lot she also has them in little nippers on the week end this helps them to redirect their extra energies and helps them to have a release and therefore helps them to concentrate. I would also look at the diet several mums have found food such as Kiwi fruit,strawberries, tomatoes, oranges, bread are also triggers. why don't you consult a pediatrics herbalist, natrapath, and chiro may help. As for the be disipline consistant and have the same consequence for the action each time..

Amie - posted on 11/04/2008

I have an 8 year old daughter who is on Ritalin and a very active 4 year old. (Also a 1 yr old and am currently pregnant) I do not know why your doctor recommended for your 4 yr old to be medicated. At that age my daughter's doctor told us specifically that while it does run in both our families to not medicate her as she just could be an active child as most are and to wait until school to find out if our fears about it interfering with her school work were warranted. For kindergarten she went through testing, saw a psychologist, and saw a few other specialists through her school for testing for learning disabilities. We did everything we could think of before making a decision and making sure our bases were covered. We met with all of these people as well, they communicated with each other, and we figured out a plan. For the first part of grade one she was not medicated and we had meetings with them all and got forms to fill out for home and for at school, by her teacher, for her performance and behavior. It was decided to try medication. We were given options for different kinds, we chose Ritalin. We were also explained the pitfalls of this, including the signs if her dosage was too high. She was started on 2 5 mg tablets a day. One in the morning and one at lunch time. Her low dosage is largely due to the fact we were worried about her performance at school and not her hyper activity at home. She was closely monitored by her doctor during this time and he kept in contact with her teacher and ourselves. I still remember her teacher telling me that she was a different person almost immediately after starting her regiment. Within days she was able to focus on her work and her grades soared. She is still on Ritalin now in grade 3. She has had her dosage upped only once as she went through a growth spurt and it wasn't working as effectively. Her doctor has told us that she should only need to be on it for 3-5 years as after this time most kids should be able to work it out for themselves how to keep themselves focused. She's doing better already, we've noticed it at home. She's not as impulsive and usually takes a minute to think before she acts. Which is one of the bigger signs of ADHD. If this isn't present, if it's just lack of concentration skills than it is ADD. My sister has ADHD as well. My mom and I differ on our treatment of our kids. My sister is 15 and still suffers from impulse control. She has put herself in danger a number of times because of this. She is of the age though where she can make her own decisions but is afraid to try Ritalin or any other drug as she also has heard so many horror stories. While she spends a lot of time with my daughter and sees how a positive thing this can be when monitored correctly she is now thinking of trying it or some other drug that might be beneficial as well.
As for discipline be consistent as other moms have said but also keep in mind that if it is ADHD that your child may not have the switch in his brain that most kids do to tell them to stop and think first. This was the hardest part for my fiance and I to over come. We used to get very frustrated with our daughter when she would show lack of self control but since we've gone through all this over the last few years we're better equipped to sit and talk with her and explain why she's doing what she does is wrong and potentially harmful to herself and others. This is very hard to do at first and does take time and a lot of patience.
You will ultimately do what is best for your children but make sure you have all the information necessary and don't walk in blind to anything. Good luck and I hope my experience helps some. =)

Teresa - posted on 11/04/2008

Meds should never ever be your first choice. But when you've worked through behaviour modifications, diet and allergy work, and discipline, it should be considered. My son is ADHD, inattentive type. He was never hyperactive, he just could never keep his attention on anything. He was diagnosed in 4th grade and we resisted meds for many months. Finally I realized four hours to do fourth grade homework wasn't normal. A child who cried himself to sleep and wished aloud that he was dead because he hated not being able to concentrate, follow a discussion, keep up mentally with his friends, wasn't normal. A child of his intelligence, working as hard as he did, making F's wasn't normal. We finally succumbed to meds, and it was like a switch was flipped in his life. He's sixteen today, and credits the teacher who made the initial testing recommendations with saving his life. He just completed his Eagle Scout project building an outdoor classroom for her. So, making it the first choice is probably a bit too reactive. But ruling it out wasn't the right choice for us.

Karen - posted on 11/04/2008

I have a 9 year old that is ADHD. There are more meds. out there than just Ritalin. My daughter wears a patch on her hip that goes on in the morning and is taken off about 5:00. It goes directly into her blood stream without taking a pill. We have not had to change her meds. in 2 years. There are a lot of questions that you have to ask yourself before admitting that you child is ADHD. I have struggled with the decision to medicate my child for years. My daughter is very impulsive and her friends at school were getting to the point where they did not want to play with her. Her schoolwork was rushed and incomplete. The final thought is about the quality of life. If your child is struggling with keeping friends or struggling at school and you have tried all the diets and read all the book on No meds. for ADHD (which I did ) and you can not see a change- it is time to see a doctor or a psychologist. You are the only one that knows your child. All ADHD drugs are not bad.

Kerry - posted on 11/01/2008

Ritalin is not always bad. To my oldest son it was a godsend, when the medication was doing its thing the problem that was being masked by his busy behaviour was actually Autism. This couldnt be seen until ritalin had taken the edge of his active side. That was amazing as then i had a reason why behavioural training stuff was not working. Autism requires specific training in a few areas so once we found autism we could start work. In many ways it was still too late but my son could settle for school hours, I never gave him high doses he was only ever on a minimal dose and only during school hours, never on weekends (unless he asked for it as there was a tv show on or something he had to really concentrate for).
He was always below the lower percentile for growth so the possiblility of the small size as a side effect of ritalin, was not a big deal. It also did wonders for his temper and frustration levels.
He took himself off ritalin in high school when the other kids started calling him a retard (because when the hyper was gone it left an autistic sitting in his place for a few hours). He decided calmly that he was not going to take it because he could control his outbreaks during school time. We never let him think that it was the meds making his behaviour different, we just told him that it replaced a important chemical in his brain that would help allow him to concentrate for school work. after a few years he understood and on some days would exert his self control for the day. This is really hard work for kids to do wether "normal ' or not. He usually needed a breakout after school was finished for the day to get the extra frustration out, because of the amount of control he had exerted at school all day.
His growth was not in the long term affected and growth ect is within 'normal' range now he is older. He does not have substance issues and wont take anything stronger than paracetemol. So because the ritalin is a 'quick' release it wuld be gone from the system in a short time.


Discipline is better accepted if it is calm, clear consistant and fair. Try not to overly punish for behaviours that are not really life threatening, this only tends to annoy the kid and make you out to be a bad guy!
One of my 3 kids who have taken ritalin for a trial for behavour issues, had a successful time with it, no 2 would just fall instantly asleep, no 3 had success with keeping his temper but i wont let him take it as i think it is wrong for his particular trouble. Ritalin is of benefit for concentration, as no 3 has already bee expelled from classroom teaching there is no need for him to have it and his aniety issues are more urgent to deal with, so i discussed with the paed and told them that ritalin was not going to be the way to deal with a kid with major anxiety. We are now triallin strattera and in the early days there are tiny things to show this might work! we are trialling it a longer time to see if he gets better with cooperating with teachers and keeping his anxiety under control. No major side effects from this med so far.
good luck and search all the information you can because the ritalin is for the benefit of the child, not to make him into wonder boy, just to allow him to participate at school and learn. So there are good and not so good reasons to trial it.

Tara - posted on 10/31/2008

I have a 9yr old that in kindergaten was diasonsed with ADHD. Her Dr and I discussed Ritilin but the concern was that by the time she was a adult she would be on a very high amount of medications to keep up to her problem. I went to support groups to help learn how to deal with her. My biggest concern was my other daughter picking up these bad habits because thats what she saw her sister doing. And u are all right every child is different and what one child can handle in a medication another may not be able. Today at almost 10yrs my daughter can tell when she is out of control and can calm herself down. All i have to say is to her is that she is getting to hyper and she starts watching herself. It was not easy and i had days when i thought i was going to go crazy. But i was consitant and on top of her all the time. Most kids at her age are starting to shut out there parents. My child gets exited each day that i pick her up from school and i am alwasy greeted with a big hug. Although some children do need the medications please do all ur research on medications. I found out that Ritilin is in the same family as Speed or also called Crystal Meth. And once they are on it by the time they are adults they have to be on several drugs to keep them calm. My daughter also see's a naturepath and that has been a god sent with her. All I can says is DO UR RESEARCH!!!!!!!

Christiane - posted on 10/31/2008

I am the mother of a 9 year old diagnosed with ADHD (can't remember if it was kindergarden or first grade). She's now in 4th grade and doing well. I agree that medication is not the first answer, but please don't entirely rule it out. The methods that Rachel mentioned are great, but sometimes they're not enough. My daughter fits the boys ADHD type...extremely active. I waited a while before having her evaluated for several reasons: I didn't want the stigma, and was concerned about the drugs. I discussed it with her pediatrician and decided to try the lowest dose of an extended release version of methyphenidate (Ritalin). My thoughts were that it had to be a very significant improvement with minimal side effects. I didn't want my little girl to not be herself and not to eat. There are many drugs out there that are a balancing act and finding the one that works for you. Just about any psych meds are like that. I periodically take her off medication to see how she is, and keep her on the lowest dose possible. This means that she is still quite hyper/active, but she can control herself enough to sit in a chair and do her school work. Now I think she is a more severe case of ADHD, but I think every kid needs to be looked at individually. I keep close tabs on what she's eating and ensure that she is gaining weight appropriately. I tried taking her off medication last year (3rd grade). We worked a lot with her teacher and tried to help her, but it just wasn't enough. It was not only affecting her school work, but her peer relationships too. They've done brain studies that show differences in the brain development of children with ADHD and have shown that by around high school that their brains have pretty much "caught up" with the non-ADHD counterparts. Again, I don't think drugs are always the answer, but if other methods aren't working, it might be worth trying. If it's not working you can always stop, but it also has to be done in conjunction with good discipline. Sorry, one final note. I know this is long,but it's a topic that is near and dear to me. The pediatrician had a good analogy. An diabetic can't always control his/her blood sugar by diet/exercise alone, at some point they need help. ADHD is the same. I understand were she's at too. I have ADHD myself, but didn't know until adulthood. I remember the feelings of wanting to blurt out, and not being able to sit still. It's not always something they can control no matter how much even they want to. Good luck. I hope you find what works for you and your kids.

Melissa - posted on 10/31/2008

You've got to realize that each child is different and some will be much more active. However, sometimes circumstances will intensify a situation. Sugar is one thing that can make a huge difference in a child's behavior.

I would highly recommend doing everything you can before putting your child on a drug. I know Ritalin can be pretty nasty to deal with.

Rachel - posted on 10/30/2008

Oh and is this your pediatrician recommending this medication or a Psychologist? Has he been diagnosed by a Psychologist? If it is a Psychologist and they are pushing you to medicate him, find a different one. Not all of them will push to medicate. Mine didn't and when he found out that I didn't want to medicate him he gave me a lot of great ideas for helping him get where he needed to be, but naturally like changing diet.

Rachel - posted on 10/30/2008

I have 2 boys also ages 4 and 8. Sometimes they make me want to pull my own hair out. My oldest last year was diagnosed ADHD but I refuse to medicate him. He had all sorts of behavior problems but wasn't and still isn't struggling to learn so I didn't think it was a good idea. Instead, I set house rules for him that must be done before he is allowed to do other more fun things. Nothing complicated, just simple chores like cleaning his room, putting away his own clothes, feeding and watering the dog, stuff like that. Then for school I talked to his teacher because he is fidgety. He now wears a rubberband on his wrist and whenever he feels like blurting out or fidgeting in his seat, he snaps the band on his wrist. It is something he can fiddle with while listening to keep his hands busy and he isn't being disruptive. Also, I make sure they have time where the boys can get together and be loud and obnoxious and rough (because lets face it, little boys are loud and tough) either outside or in a room with the door closed. They can do whatever they need to do to get out the extra energy that they didn't get out during school. Being consistent is key though. Find a punishment that works. My oldest hates running laps so when he is being bad or acting out, I say "You have so much energy I think you need to run me some laps" and he say "Sorry, I'll settle down now". It's teaching them self control. It's hard enough with most kids but with ADHD it's even harder but it is possible. Make sure that whatever their punishment is for not listening, that it is the punishment they will get every time they do that. It has taken a few years of training but now my son is top of his class, going into advanced programs, and hasn't gotten in trouble at all in school. Don't ever let a doctor tell you that you need to medicate your child. My sisters daughter has ADHD even worse than my son and they medicate her. They had to change her meds so many different times because the side effects were worse than the ADHD. At one point she was behaving like a paranoid schitzophrenic. It was terrible. Now they do have her on something that works but she has no appetite and looks like she is starving because they can't get her to eat much. There is no medication that can accomplish what a determined parent can. Keep your resolve. Stay strong. You can get him through it.

Marilyn - posted on 10/30/2008

I have an 8 yr old and he keeps me on my toes, the only time i don't talk much ,is when he is at school. please do not give your child any drugs. Let the kids occupy themselves in games or jigsaw puzzles that would take them ages to complete. it worked for me.try it you might be lucky.

Abegail - posted on 10/30/2008

Ritalin just for being over active? I don't think it's necessary. Didcipline is very important in your relationship with your child. My sister is learning it the hard way now with her 3 year old son. She always told me that they are going to be best friends even though I told her that would not be benefitial to him. Now she has to change everything and be as stern as possible. He's slowly learning. As Patty said no means no. It's better to say yes if you think you're going to eventually say yes. My brother learned that if our parents say no, all he has to do is ask 13 times and they'll eventually cave in. Kids are quite patient compared to us. They wait until they know it's a "good time" to ask (probably when you're so stressed you'll say yes just to make them go away). Talk to them always about what you're doing with them, include them in everything. Occupying them shouldn't be too hard as long as you're with them. That's usually what they want. They don't want to be put in a room with mountains of toys, they want you to play with them or take them to the park or library. I hope this helps.

User - posted on 10/30/2008

Make sure that you are consistant! No means no and follow through, once they know you mean business it will get better. You can still be firm without spanking. Also, get him checked for allergies. My cousin was on Ritalin for years then found out he was allergic to milk, went off meds after gave up milk that was making him hyper.