I have an 11 year old with seperation anziety ..

Andrea - posted on 07/24/2009

My suggestion would be that you make sure that whenever you have to leave her, that you do it with confidence. If you seem the least bit concerned or anxious about it, she will pick up on that and assume there is reason for concern. Children adopt our attitudes, so make sure that you show no signs of insecurity. Also I have seen children use this as a method of control. Good luck.

Becky - posted on 07/23/2009

I am no expert but if I had I child acting this way I would want to find out if she has had a traumatic experience. Has she been left with a babysitter or relative that may have abused her. Hopefully this is just a stage she is going through and she just needs a one-on-one date with mom she can look forward to on a regular bases so she will let go other times.

Tehnaz - posted on 07/23/2009

Hi Cindy--I have a 11 year old with separation issues too---kept encouraging her to do things on her own and praising her for that, as well as bribes---don't work for everything thought--she still can't sleep without me, but manages ok when a friend sleeps over, so I encourage that.sleepover parties at a friends--she usually returns in the middle of the night! still keep encouraging her to be more independant in little ways and reward her with things like crafts etc that she can do while you are away---or whatever her interest might be.

Melissa - posted on 07/22/2009

"Knocking on Wood" but it sounds as if something has happened. I do not know what that something could be. Try to sit down and have a mom and daughter talk with her to find out what it could be. It also could be were she is at that age where she just needs you, you know she is becoming aware of herself. She feels comfortable with you because you are a girl as well. I have 2 daughters and a son. My oldest just turned 9 last saturday, and she has already been following me around asking certain questions. I didn't have my period until I was 12. But I remember I was hanging around my older sister a lot and asking certain questions. I would hang around my mother as well. However, she had me late in life 43. And she was already over having her period. I hoped that I could help. Wish you all the luck. Missy.

Leslie - posted on 07/22/2009

My 13 year old is the same way! If anyone asks her to spend the night I wait the response I know is coming, "No, but you can come to my house!" She claims I am her best friend and will always be. Double-edged sword!!! I want her to be able to talk to me about anything, but I am her MOTHER!

Chantale - posted on 07/22/2009

I go through the same thing with my 9 year old daughter. Like your daughter my daighter only goes to a few peoples homes like her father and a close friend of mine. HEr father and I have been seperated since she was a baby and she's always been with mommy but enjoys going to daddy's as long as I tell her how many sleeps and we don't go past those sleeps!! I can't go to the store without her if I do she cries! Sometimes it really irritates me but at other times I just see it as she's a real mommy's girl! So your not alone :-)