I have an issue with my sister who lives with me and her babies...

Jude - posted on 07/26/2009

You need to have a talk with your sister about why she thinks it's so important to introduce men to the kids as anything other than her friend. Unless she and the guy are ready to get married, the kids should have no reason to think of him as anything other than a friend. Anything that might make them think otherwise - kissing, hugging, or even referring to the guy as "boyfriend" or "special" - shouldn't take place in front of the kids.

Perhaps she needs to be reminded that, as a mother, she has more than her own desires and needs to consider. I'm not saying she shouldn't date at all, but that she needs to think about how her dating affects her kids. If she can't find a babysitter, then she needs to reschedule for a time when someone's available.

She may also have the idea that she can't handle living without a guy in her life - I've seen that a lot, too. If so, she needs to find someone to talk to about that - that isn't healthy for her or for her kids.

Toni - posted on 07/26/2009

I know exactly what you are talking about. As a divorced mom I always dated or met my boyfriends on the sly. I did not bring them around my kids. Matter of fact I am remarried now and as far as my kids know the only person I dated was my current husband, who I did not introduce to them until we were serious. Know whether or not to talk to your sister, yea, she is your sister and as a sister you have a right, but know that she may tell you to mind your own business. One thing you can do is set a "house rule" no men allowed to stay over when the kids are here. She also might want to explain to the kids that this man is mommies friend, not daddy. Is the real dad in the picture?? Trust me, my cousin invited men in and out of her house for years with her boys around and yea, I think it has messed them up. Sounds to me like your sister thinks more of her MEN then she does of her children. Sometimes a come to jesus meeting is what is necessary for someone to see the light. Good luck and god bless.

Liv - posted on 07/26/2009

my sister also introduces her daughter immediately to her new boyfriends, she even has her calling them dad sometimes. they are your sisters kids so it is her choice, but as their aunt i feel you have a right to an opinion. maybe remind your sister of how you used to feel, and keep calling her attention to it when it affects the kids. good luck

Anita - posted on 07/25/2009

Hi Tara..

It is a bit hard to tell your sister not to date but i guess if she is living at your home then I guess she needs to respect u by not just bringing any tom, dick and harry home...maybe u should point out to her how what sort affect its having on her child when the guys leaves...if she can go to his place its better..as for a baby sitter I'm sure its not all that hard to find!



How old is your nephew and neices?..if u can explain to them that its just mummy and aunties friends maybe it would help..i'm sorry if i cant be of anymore help..hope it all works out for u and ur neices and nephews..