I have never reported anyone to the police before and I am very nervious...

Emilie - posted on 07/20/2010 ( 33 moms have responded )

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Something happened when my kids went to their fathers house this weekend. I told my sister about it and she reported it to CPS and they faxed the report to the police station and the police called me and wants me to bring my kids over there tomorrow to talk to somebody. My kids are 7 and 3, I am very worried about their saftey and I want to make the report I am just very nervious and I guess I need some reassurence that I am doing the right thing.

Here is what happend. My 7 year old son told me that the man that lives with his father (his aunts BF) was sitting in the car infront of the house and in the words of my son "was rubbing his pee pee and taking pictures of it". My son also told me that he saw him doing this and saw the pictures. My son also told me that there was a teenage girl in the car with him. This has not happend before but there was another incident before where he was masturbating in front of my son, my son told me that he had a pillow case over it, I guess he man thought my son was stupid and wouldn't know what he was doing. This man also has been in jail before for getting a 14 year old pregnant when he was 18, he was only in jail for 4-5 months and I think the family of that girl dropped the charges so he is not a registerd sex offender, but I think he should be and I have told my ex before that I didn't want the kids around him, he moved out for a while then he moved back in without me knowing about it.



UPDATE: I went to the police and my son and daughter and sister and I all talked to the police. I am not sure what my son told them because he went into the room alone with the police man. I am worried now because it has been like 5 days since I talked to the police, and 4 days since I sat down with the CPS worker and I haven't heard anything, and my ex is supposed to be taking the kids in just 4 days. I am sooo nervious, and I am worried that the police won't do anything.

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Victoria - posted on 07/23/2010

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I'm going to tell you something right now--take care of it before it goes too far...my parents didn't and i still have nightmares. I didn't tell them until it was too late...i was five. Take care of it NOW. press charges NOW. Sue for the money that it'll take to put your child through therapy, or just sue for mental trauma on your child's behalf. Now.

Daphne - posted on 07/23/2010

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Yes you are doing the right thing. Make sure your kids know that it was good that they spoke out. Make sure they know that you support their conversation with authorities. They will take the cue from your behavior so you need to let them know that they are reporting a crime. Let them know that when they felt something is wrong, they need to act on it and you will support instincts. Please try to have some counseling sessions with you included so that you will know how to further protect them in this situation.
NOW, as a member of your community and mother of 2, THANK YOU for the report and your effort to get this guy in jail if possible! A pedophile usually has up to 200 incidences throughout his/her life before they get caught! Every report adds up and the judges need to know so they don't let them go thinking it was a one time event!

Bonnie - posted on 07/23/2010

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Get him put in jail! That is just wrong! I'm sorry your son had to see that.

Paula - posted on 07/25/2010

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Hey Emilie,

as a mom, i've quickly learnt that i can always trust my gut feeling. do the same. you are on the right track. it is keeping silent about the seemingly not so harmful things that escalates them. who knows what this creep will do next? So you go girl. I am sure every mom's got your back. it is our responsibility to protect our children.

[deleted account]

Unfortunately there are mothers.fathers, aunts,uncles,and even grandparents that sexually abuse children in this world and I dont think you can ever be too careful. You are doing a great thing and your son should be commended as well.Good Boy!! Your right this can stay with him forever and that is why I suggest getting him into see a therapist and I would get an attorney and try and have supervised visitation by the state put in place. This is not a safe environment for the children. Good luck!!!

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33 Comments

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Christy - posted on 07/26/2010

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Your the only person your son has in this situation HELP him have the voice he needs!! Don't let it go take it as far as you can! He is an amazing little boy to be ok with telling you that this is happening! Your doing a great thing for him your a great MOM and he will always know that mom is the one he can trust!

Donna - posted on 07/25/2010

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Emilie, hi if you are still worried about the childrens father seeing them then speak to a lawyer/ solicitor they can arrange for the father to see the children under supervision at a family center, the father will not be left alone with the children nor can he take them out of the center without your permission.
I can understand your dilemah where the father is concerned as i went through concerns with my ex husband when he moved back to live with his mum ( her partner was in prison at the time for sex offences to children) although my mother in laws partner was not around I still had concerns as did childrens welfare and the police, they both agreed that my childrens father was deemed a danger to his own children due to association.

Jana - posted on 07/25/2010

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No matter how you are feeling your children always have to come first! You are doing the right thing that man should NOT be around children!!!! Hang in there!!

[deleted account]

when it comes to your kids hun you gotta protect them from anyone who is or may harm them ... make the report and keep them safe its in their best interest

Delma - posted on 07/24/2010

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good on your sister for reporting it and you for seeing it through your husband should be protecting the children and ensuring that these people are not around when the children visit i would let him know that things will change if he cant reassure you of their safety . make your children feel safe and cared for the police im sure will have qualified experts to question your chilren who will ensure your child is cared for your childs protection should be paramount when they are at their fathers or questioned by the police take care of yourself and ensure your child is recieving lots of hus and reassurance from you

Anabel - posted on 07/24/2010

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You are doing the right thing!! These people need restrictions and should not be allowed anywhere near a child! Your son is a brave little guy and you should remind him that no one has the right to make him feel uncomfortable>:( Those people do not deserve to breathe the same air as a child. In my book, they have no rights. I am so happy to know that there is people like you out there who would take a stand for a child. Stay positive, you've done a good thing:)

Emilie - posted on 07/24/2010

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I went to the police and I talked to the CPS worker that my sister talked to. I am not sure what they are going to do. I thought I would have heard something by now from them but I haven't. I don't want to send my kids to there fathers house again, I am not sure how I will ever trust him with the kids again. What has happened to them can stay with them for life. I just don't think their father understands that. I really hope his sisters BF goes to jail. Even when the BF is gone I just really don't know how I can trust my ex again.

Debbie - posted on 07/24/2010

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I would not let my kids visit their father, until the man moves out. If your ex doesn't understand too bad. You have to do what right for your kids, too bad if it hurts anyone's feelings. This sounds like a very sick person.Of course, you need to follow through with the police. This is a very serious situaton.

[deleted account]

Also you should think about your son seeing a therapist to make sure he wasnt victimized in any other way as well.

[deleted account]

Do not be afraid!! Too many people keep their mouths shut and abuse continues. I study this type of behavior in college as well as have a more people than I realized in my life that have been affected by sexual abuse and the long term affects are devastating and lifelong unfortunately. You need to protect your children and NOT allow them anywhere near this man!!! EVER!!! These are very clear red flags, do not turn the other cheek. Your job is to protect your children period!!! too many people underestimate what they see which leads to these perpetrators getting away with this stuff.

Kate - posted on 07/24/2010

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it can be scray to report something like this, I imagine you are feeling that maybe you are making a big thing out of it. Think about the other kids you will be protecting by doing it, and remember that the police are there to support and help you, your children are the victims and no one else can protect them except you.
The children will just be asked to tell their story, and the police will type it up for them. It's not as scary as you think it might be. Good luck, I can tell you really want to do make sure your kids are safe.
Best wishes - feel confident, cause it is the right thing to do.

Marissa - posted on 07/24/2010

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I really hope you reported it and filed and sued!! That man should not be around kids, Im very sorry your son had to see that. I know if that was my kid no matter who it was I would have filed right then and there. And do let your children know that its ok to tell you stuff like that, that they dont have to be scared to talk to mom and they wont get in trouble for it

Michelle - posted on 07/24/2010

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i would defently tell the police hun you dont know what willhappen when your children are there again this should not be happening at all, go tothe police and get this man arrested

Brittany - posted on 07/23/2010

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You are most definitely doing the right thing. Never EVER EVER doubt yourself when the matter at hand is the security of your children. The man is clearly a pervert and has no place being around children.

[deleted account]

do it do it now.. what a bastard!!. im so sorry u have to experience this.. oh my gosh... i will pray that it is taken care of quickly.. and you may consider having your son talk to a therapist or something, he will never forget he saw that happen.. God bless

Della - posted on 07/23/2010

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Good for you...you're doing the right thing. The safety and welfare of your children come before all else..If I were you I would look into requesting the courts give supervised visitation to their father until such time as he is able to house himself without having to live with another individual as it puts your children at risk. He should fully understand why you need to do this, and if not...he's not a very good father if the safety of his children is not first priority. You can also get someone to evaluate your children so that your childrens accusations can for the most part be proven to have factual basis and not just a child's imagination, which is what people who don't want to face the reality of the matter will contribute the accusations to. You need to do everything within the law and your power to protect your children...cause if you don't, it can appear that you are just as irresponsible at parenting and protecting your children as your ex appears to be. I wish you well and pray for the safety of your children and hope all is resolved rapidly and in the best interest of you and your babies.

Kim - posted on 07/23/2010

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Its hard. Its terrifying. But as a victim of sexual abuse myself I can't urge you enough to report this. Had someone been brave enough to report my offender he never would have had the chance to hurt me.

Good luck.

Lyndsay - posted on 07/23/2010

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You are doing the right thing. It's a very scary procedure and sometimes it can be a little traumatizing to the children to relive the events (in this case I think they should be okay, but in cases of rape and such it can be very hard)... but this man obviously cannot control his behaviour in the presence of your children, and you don't know what else he's capable of. Better to have him removed from the home before you allow your kids to go back there.

Tracy - posted on 07/23/2010

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Protecting your children is never wrong! Their father needs to be put on notice about who he has around them on his days

Angie - posted on 07/23/2010

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Protecting your child, in an appropriate way, is never wrong. Go to the police station and answer all their questions honestly and encourage your son to do the same.

Diane - posted on 07/23/2010

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You are doing the right thing, this needs to be reported. This man should not be around your children. If CPS was called the man will be able to hear what he is being accused of however he will not be given details as to who is accusing him of what. Do you know if the CPS suit was filed against the man of against the children's father? If the police are investigating it, it sounds like CPS has referred it to your local police department. Usually CPS will conduct their own investigation into an incident if they are filing against a parent. Whoever called CPS has the right to follow up on the investigation at any time to see what stage it is in as well. I would do that. See if a case worker has been assigned and if things are being addressed. If they don't feel that the father is a threat, that may be why they are referring it to the police, however you would think the lack of judgment on his part would be a huge red flag. Unfortunately I have been through this process a few times (I am a teacher), I hope it works out in the best interest of the children and causes you the least amount of problems. I always hate having to make that call but in a situation like this, that was the right move. This man should NOT be around your kids at all. I would personally tell their father that until this man is out of the residence your kids cannot stay or visit there. I know that visitation is usually and issue but safety and protecting your children takes p residence over custody matters. Even the court would agree, and if they have to amend visitation, they will given the circumstances. He is putting your children at risk and if he doesn't know it, he needs to start paying attention to who he has around his kids.

Linda - posted on 07/23/2010

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Ugh! I just have to say that it needs to be adressed with the proper authorities, and as hard as that is, as a parent it is your responsibility to make sure it is taken care of. However, I feel compelled to say that their FATHER is responsible for their safety while they are in his care, what is he doing while all this is going on! If he cannot insure their safety, he should not have them! If not you then someone in authority need to let him know that if having this man around is more important than having his kids, then they will no longer be allowed in his custody. He is as responsible as the other man for harming your kids. He has failed as a parent, knowing that this man has performed sexual acts in front of his children before, and allowing it to happen again. Sorry for the rant, but it is most important. Please don't let either one off the hook, or it will only escalate.

Kelli - posted on 07/20/2010

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This is really creepy. I'm glad that you said something. Sometimes all it takes is a voice. Kids can raise red flags in so many ways and often times they go ignored. Don't ignore this! Especially when it comes to your kids.

Jessica - posted on 07/20/2010

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your are absolutely doing the right thing. that isnt someone anyone should do in front of a child, pillow case or no pillow case. for all any one knows it could go further than that eventually, so you should def. nip it in the butt!! no need to be nervous. everyone has to report something to the police at some point in time, but if it has to do with your kids, then never have a doubt that it is the right thing to do.

[deleted account]

That is a horrible story but so glad you're doing something about it. Too many sex offenders get away with things because people are simply to scared to speak up.

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