I have tried everything but I can't get my 7 year old to clean her room any suggestions?

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Michelina - posted on 05/08/2012

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Hi ladies, i have 4 children 2 boys, 2 girls ages 6,4,2 and 3months. I have always maintained a strict cleaning schedule for myself and always had taught my kids to clean up, well still teaching. My 6 year old learned the hard way last year. She would not clean up her toys and i told her 2and times. The third time i told her put your toys away i told her i was going to throw her toys oit of the window. She gave me a look like "ya ok" i picked her toys up and out they went. She cried screamed and carried on but it worked. I love my kids more than the world itself but independence is important and i am there mother not there slave. Because

they are young ofcourse i help but they need to learn early. My daughter now cleans up her toys the first time i ask. She has saved her money up from bedtime bucks and good deeds she rebought her toy. I know its harsh but like i said im there mom not there slave. My sister at 23 years old doesnt clean her room because our mom gives in and does it for her. Dont get me wrong my kids arent cleaning slaves but their big enough to take their toys out and make a mess their big enough to clean up. (my six and four year old, my two year likes the clean up song)

Nadja - posted on 10/08/2009

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yeah my 5 year old didnt wanna clean his room either. so i went and put everything in trash bags and trashed it. now if he doesnt wanna clean it up my husband takes his toys out and puts them away for a few days. that works pretty good

[deleted account]

First of all - YOU clean and organize the room. Make sure that the organization is simple - big plastic tubs for example. The room needs to be easy to clean. I love big Ziploc bags. We have one for littlest pet shops, another for barbie clothes and accessories, etc.

Second - After You have organized the room, you may need to clean it a few times with your child. After that, you still may need to give some direction Ex] "start by picking up all the dirty clothes" Once that is done, give another direction.

Third - You are in charge of how messy the room gets. It needs to be cleaned before it gets too messy! We all have our lazy parenting days and if you decide not to worry about how messy the room gets for a few days, that's fine, but keep in mind they will need your help if it gets too messy.

Fourth - Pick something he/she likes to do and set a rule that it can't be done without a clean room. Make sure you chose something appropriate though. This is probably an extreme example, but you wouldn't say "no dinner with out a clean room". We chose playing with neighbor kids.

Cleaning a room is actually a very overwhelming task for a child. But if you take the time to teach her/him how, it will become easy! My daughter is 8 and can clean her room extremely well, not as good as me of course.

Alisha - posted on 10/08/2009

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Quoting Erica:

I went old school,lol...I got a trash bag and had at it. Now when ever I say clean your room she stops whatever shes doing and cleans it up. Good luck!!



I did the same thing to mine and she didnt like it she almost cried!!



So now she cleans it!  (-'

Alisha - posted on 10/08/2009

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My 6 yr old and my 8 yr old step daughter share a room, and I make them clean it! I mean I cant really make them clean it, but I went through it one day and threw out everything that wasnt "important", and ever since they insist on cleaning it!!!! Try that!!

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Yvonne - posted on 09/29/2013

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Turn tidying up into a game that always works with my boy he is 7 and very lazy he wont do anything i ask so if i turn the idea into a fun way of getting the job done he will be more than willing and we dont fall out i dont shout and he doesnt get upset so everyone is a winner x

Jamie - posted on 06/29/2012

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WOW, I would NEVER throw away the toys I paid good money for but my daughter DOES have way too many toys LOL and so we will go through them and have a yeard sale. The things she sells will be her money and a re ward for keeping her room clean, any of the things that do not sell will be donated to the Salvation Army. She likes the idea of earning her own money and cleaning her room all in one go :)

Deborah - posted on 10/10/2009

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My Daughter is also 7 and won't clean her room up on her own. She is willing to help, if I am in there though. A lot of her toys are packed away in her cupboard, and honeslty, this might be too challenging for her to know exactly where everthing goes. I expect my daughter to help when cleaning is happenign (whether in her room or in the house generally), but unless storage for toys clothes etc is simple, then I think it is a big ask to send a 7 year old to their room and stay there until it is all cleaned.

Ericka - posted on 10/08/2009

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Thank you for all your suggestions I will have to try some of them. I have already tried some of them in the past and they did not work. I do break down and clean her room at least once a week because I can't stand to look at it but she trashes it within an hour the truth is she has to much stuff and I do just need to get rid of it but it is hard because I spend so much money on some of these things and I hate to get rid of them. Her birthday is saturday and I just told her she needed to clean her room so she will have room for her presents.Thank You Everyone

Susan - posted on 10/08/2009

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Walk in her room with a garbage bag and tell her to put everything out of place into the bag, because its apparent that she doesn't need them anymore. And get the bag and put away, when its her birthday or christmas, bring the bag out and tell her that is her gift (you will be kidding of course), but she will be more respectful to your rules.

Debra - posted on 10/08/2009

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Perhaps there is just to much stuff for there to be cleaned up and she is just overwhelmed. Take some of the things out period, change them out on a weekly/monthly basis. Leave only what she can be responsible to take care of. Once she can take care of what is in her room then give more toys.

Selene - posted on 10/08/2009

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Have you heard of the pick-up fairy?? Tell her that if she doesnt pick up her room the pick-up fairy will take away one toy every night. I havent tried it myself, my boys are still too young, but i heard that it works pretty well

Tamarah - posted on 10/08/2009

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I've found my kids are overwhelmed if they have to put everything into one box. Legos are the best example. Cleaning their room was just impossible for a long time, and I was looking for the right way to organize it so they wouldn't explode when they had to clean. I found, for us, smaller boxes, instead of one big box, have made a big difference. So the stuffed animals go in a bucket in the closet, and the little toys go into two rubbermaid things with 3 drawers each. A lot of the toys stay in the drawers, or the kids can get one drawer out to play with the toys in that drawer. Their room has been clean for *2 weeks* :)

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

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Make sure eveything that needs to be put away actually has a "home" to be put away at. If she doesn't know where everything goes it can be overwhelming. I don't throw stuff away (I'll just end up having to buy it again). Instead, I don't let my kids (ages 7,6 &3) play with the stuff they don't clean up for one or two days depending on the age.



Another possiblity is maybe she has too much in her room. I rotate toys for my kids, using old toys again is just as good as new toys for them.

Cynthia - posted on 10/08/2009

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7 years old is too young to expect them to clean their room by themselves especially if the room is a dissaster but 7 year olds love to help...They don't quite understand long term loss so taking everything from them will just create even more problems. It's all in starting at an early age to help mommy or daddy. My daughter bought her daughter a cabinet for all of her craft things and her games.and that seems to help because she has somewhere to put her things. Also, another rule going forward could be that your child must put away what they are currently playing with each time they want to switch to something else.

Robyn - posted on 10/08/2009

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Trash bag thing worked for me but hate to say now with 3 teenagers it just gets worse. Now I shut the door and leave it as they then have to deal with the consequences of not having clean clothes, A friend of mine joked her teenage daughter did not have a walk in wardrope she had a walk on wardrope. Also works if you walk into their room and stand on their headphones and they break.......Oh dear...... you will have to buy new ones!!!

I remember being a messy teenager and my mother used to tidy it up for me so I know that never worked (hehe).

Good luck.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

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I am all for the garbage bag thing but I also feel like alot of the kids stuff I spent some good money on and if money is an issue for you then throwing her stuff away makes you want to cry. I have tried the garbage bag thing and it works for a while but I just couldn't throw anything away. I would try taking things away from her that she likes to do first. Any special privlidge that she is used to doing or if she has a Wii or nintendo or anything like that put it away untill she can prove that her room will stay clean. I have a 7yr old son and he hates to clean his room, but he has a blanket that he loves and if he doesn't clean his room then he loses his blanket for a day or two. I think that taking something that they like to do is better then throwing things away, but if it works for you then good. Good luck!!!!

[deleted account]

tell her...she's got 15 minutes to clean it up and what ever is left lying around, you will throw away....and the first time, don't hold any sentimental attachments to anything...seriously bag up whatever she leaves out and get rid of it.....yes this will work

Heather - posted on 10/08/2009

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had the same problem. i put everything in her room in trash bags, she lived without the her stuff for a couple weeks including some clothes... i told her the next time i put them in trash bags they were going to the trash. when i found things that are left laying around i tell her once and give her a time limit, then in the garbage it goes. i don't buy her another one, if she wants it back bad enough she will spend her own money to get it and she takes better care of it then when i bought it for her!

Adrienne - posted on 10/08/2009

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I don't have a child that age, but I used to nanny for 3 kids (18 mo,3, and 5) I used to make it into a game (put everything in 3 piles ((sized according to age)) and whoever is the fastest gets to pick a movie, or the snack, I would assign each one a color, and they had to find everything they could with that color(s) on it etc). I also did the trashbag thing when games and prizes didn't work. :) Good Luck.

Erica - posted on 10/08/2009

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I went old school,lol...I got a trash bag and had at it. Now when ever I say clean your room she stops whatever shes doing and cleans it up. Good luck!!

Sharon - posted on 10/08/2009

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Last chance - pick up your room or I will and everything will go to donations & the trash.



I did that - it worked for 3 years, then I had to do it again, lol.

Minnie - posted on 10/08/2009

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How would she do if you went about it yourself...but when YOU cleaned, her toys ended up in boxes to be put away until she can keep it tidy herself?

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