I just caught my 6 year old daughter and her friend watching porn! Help!

Nicole - posted on 12/17/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am very concerned. I walked into my friends living room to find my daughter and her friend watching porn. Obviously the friends parents did not have the recording locked. I flipped out and over reacted and the scene got really dramatic. I am not at all proud of how I handled it. I just keep thinking that what they saw can never be un-seen. I was sure to let my daughter know that I am not at all mad at her and that it is not her fault. I am very concerned about how this may affect her in the future.
Any advice would be very appreciated, Thank you...

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Toni - posted on 12/19/2011

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Unlike some parents, I do believe you've got to address both the fact that you flipped out, and also what the kids were watching at the time. When you reacted so dramatically, you may have unwittingly caused your daughter to think that what they saw was completely wrong and bad (not just inappropriate for their age). If that's what you wish to have her think, then that's your choice... I'm just saying that if it was a "normal" sex act that they saw, it may be better to reinforce the idea that it's something that mommies and daddies do, and it isn't for kids to see, rather than that it's evil and wrong.
Again, just my opinion, but it may save $$ in therapy later in her life. ;)

Katherine - posted on 12/17/2011

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You didnt over-react. that is serious stuff, I wouldnt comment on this to her unless she says something. You an oly hope she forgets about it. OH my I am so sorry your child had to see that. So wrong.

Danielle - posted on 12/20/2011

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I agree with the other posts.. to talk to your daughter..

I think you should also address to your friend what happened and to remind her to properly lock on her computer, and stow away her porn!
It wont be long before they start to experiment on chat lines, and discovering other inappropriate material.. and it could have been much worse by the sounds of it.

All I can tell you is that I would be livid if I was in the same situation. Not at my curious child, but the irresponsible friend.

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Nicole - posted on 12/20/2011

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Thanks for the feedback. I did indeed explain that what they were doing wasn't bad at all, it's what grown ups do when they love each other, but that I flipped out because she wasn't supposed to see it until she was a grown up. That kids aren't supposed to see those things at all and that I was really sad for her that she had to. That mommy was mad at the situation, not her or her friend and that I yelled because I was scared. If there's any upside whatsoever, I am grateful it was just sex, not some crazy weird fetish horrible thing! I appreciate all the comments, though I am a strong advocate for communication. We just lost her dad this time last year and she's been through so much, talking about everything is the only chance I have at raising a shame free, emotionally stable person. Thanks again!

Lindile - posted on 12/19/2011

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I agree with the view that you must talk to your daughter. Explain why you reacted that way and what is her understanding of what she was seeing. Unfortunately this is the most horrible way she was exposedd to sex but you can quickly set her mind straight about it. Especially about how women arent that cheap and emotions involved.

Firebird - posted on 12/17/2011

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I can't imagine how you could have overreacted! I would have blown a gasket! That sort of thing should have never been left lying around. I have things in my house that aren't appropriate for children, but by the gods, they are never in a room that kids have access to! Sorry, I don't have any advise for you, just some support.

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