I know we should love every moment we have with our little ones, but honestly what part of the day do you dread the most

JayJay - posted on 08/05/2011 ( 136 moms have responded )

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I hate having to put my baby whose about 2.5yrs old right now to bed every night. He never goes down easily, there's always so much back and forth, there's so much resistance, the delay tactics, the struggle to fall asleep and just the amount of time to do it.



UPDATE

Thanks everyone for the encouraging, helpful and funny comments! I think I do have him a on pretty good schedule and routine (up at 630/7, nap at 130pm for 1.5-2hrs, nighttime routine begins at 715, IN bed by 815/830pm, reading then just sitting with him). But it still takes avg of 45 minutes for him to fall sleep. That means me sitting in the room until he falls asleep. I either have to break that association of me sitting there and/or give him a later sleep time. Though he used to go to sleep around 1030/11pm before I readjusted his schedule a few months ago. I've engaged a sleep consultant to help with this and his night wakenings.

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JayJay - posted on 08/10/2011

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@Megan Morgan - I have the same schedule too from morning to night! Verbatim! But once he's in bed @ 815/830pm...he'll tossing and turning and using soo many delay tactics...my "fave" (note the sarcasm) is the repeat requests to peepee and changing of diaper 2-3x. He wants to wear it, but the moment it gets slightly damp, he strips it off and wants another. I've even tried to leave him diaperless, but he just getting more fussy.

Heidi - posted on 08/09/2011

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I have gotten very lucky with my son. He turned 2 in may and when he was 2 months old i started putting him down in his bed for naps and bedtime. Whether or not he was already asleep. He learned from that age how to put himself to sleep. I am very happy i decided to do that. It makes naps and bed time so nice and peaceful. I guess i would have to say that even though he is a typical 2 year old there isn't any time in particular during the day that is hard for us. He has his moments, but just kinda when he feels like it.

Mary Ann - posted on 08/09/2011

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I slept with my baby until she fell asleep. Then I would get up and do my things. She couldn't have any food, beverage, or other stimuli hours before. The room had to be dark or the TV had to be on but darkened with the volume low too. Good luck...by the time you figure it out, your baby will move on to another quandry for you.

Cindy May - posted on 08/09/2011

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my worst time is bedtime too. My 1.5 year old is going to bed maybe 8pm/8.30pm which seems late to me especially since we liked having her in bed by 7 with our whole evening to ourselves.sh e is now also waking up 5 hours after falling asleep and then 3 hours later.
So sleep by 8pm, up at 1pm - pointing and asking for a bottle, then sleep until 4.30am and then it takes an hour to get her back to sleep for the last 2 hours.
I am about to embark on a google and ask everyone about what to do. We either have to rock her or keep her up till she is so tired. Good luck.

Kristen - posted on 08/09/2011

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My daughter was staying up til 2 am until I started shortening her naps no longer then an hour by gently waking her up and then at night I get rid of every type of stimulation lights, sounds, and tv she usually falls asleep on her own now at 10 PM way better then 2 am

Sherrelle - posted on 08/09/2011

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start a bed time routine that they will get used to following every night of the week and even when they start going to school also.

Kathy - posted on 08/09/2011

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Because you dread doing this every night, your little one probably can sense that and gives you more grief. Make it fun to go to bed! If you don't do it now, maybe start a little tradition of going to the bedroom and reading a quiet book to him, then tucking him in. It probably won't work right off the bat, but be consistent and eventually he will stay in bed and go to sleep.

Paulette - posted on 08/09/2011

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What is the routine? How do you prepare your child for bed? Having some quality time before bedtime can create the assurance that you will be there when he/she awakes. Don't go to bed with your child to get cooperation. A story, a song, a conversation about the day and a few plans for tomorrow are a few ways to wind down today and promise that tomorrow will be a continuation of the days good times. My six always looked forward to the bedtime conversations. Good luck.

Cherie - posted on 08/09/2011

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who said you should love every minute with your little ones? Raising children is the hardest job you'll ever do. Cope with the tough times and enjoy and marvel at the good times. These stages don't last forever. Two years olds are learning that they have power. Just do your best to make bedtime calm and the rest will work itself out.
I am fond of saying, "Don't worry, this too will pass, just like a kidney stone."

Delenia - posted on 08/09/2011

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My eldest boy is also 2.5years and i have the same problem every night,adding to that i have a 4 month old baby boy aswell,& my husband & i have a restaurant so he is not at home till very late at night wich means i struggle on my own with both boys,so what iv been doing is feedinfgthe little one in my bed while my eldest dinks his bottle next to me ,i lie there till he falls asleep & if im lucky the little one has also fallen asleep & then i move the little one to our guest bedroom where i sleep with him for the rest of the night ..my husband sleeps in our bed with our 2.5 year old cause he still wakes for a second bottle at night..i dont stay in the same room cause the baby is a very noisy drinker and sleeper so he wakes his brother who is a very light sleeper (& he is very difficult getting back to sleep once awake!!)..my problem comes in if i have already put baby over to the other room and then the bigger one wakes before my husband gets home..then i have to keep runninf between rooms...Sometimes we all 3 fall sleep & only wake when my husband gets home then i go over to the other room with baby...i know this sounds like not a very good think for my marridge but we are doing it like this till either baby sleeps better or my 2.5 year old goes to his own bed (people are telling me.itl be over before i know it...hopefully cause im very tired during most days...& id like to be able to sleep in the same room as my hubby someday soon....so hang in there maby there is light at the end of our tunnel....One thing i think him being so difficult at night was me trying to diseplen him at one point after i just had the baby and he got very difficult i told him that if he didnt stop whatever he was doing that i would leave & i think it was a huge mistake cause now he is scared of sleeping alone..so dont do that...or ul have him in ur bed like me...forever...all this having been said.time goes by way to fast & soon they wont want us in their rooms at all 6 then they will be all grown up & we will miss snuggeling up with them...so i try and enjoy every moment good or trying!!..good luck...

Amy - posted on 08/09/2011

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oh, jayjay. I have a 2.5 and 4.5 sharing a room. THAT just may be worse. lol. I also dread bedtime. Why isn't it like movies where you read a story, hug, kiss, love you sweetie, see you in the morning. zonk.

nope. mom, gotta pee. you just did. um...i'm thirsty. no more water, you'll have to go pee in the middle of hte night. I'm scared. of what. uh....... yeah. go to bed. lol.

pssst. little brother, get out of bed. back in your bed. giggle. ugh. yep. bedtime for sure i'd like to omit from my day.

Toni - posted on 08/09/2011

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I think the timeslot of 4-6pm should be banished!!! My 3 under 5 just go nuts!!!

Stifler's - posted on 08/08/2011

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I hate mornings too. Especially EARLY mornings and then they are grumpy by 9 but refuse to nap.

Kristen - posted on 08/08/2011

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The morning routine. It seems I have never done enough the night before to prepare myself for the rude awakenings (they awaken in very grumpy moods - the 3 year old and 5.5 year old). I can barely string a thought together, let alone a spoken sentence in the morning. Worst, I am a teacher and have enjoyed a relaxed summer with my cuties and we are not two weeks til K-day (kindergarten for the elder, preschool for the younger). I suddenly feel the summer's end shouldas-wouldas-and-couldas more intensely but similar to the feeling of the hectic morning hour itself (who's going where? who needs lunch? snack? change of clothes? swim lesson bag? soccer? when am I going to work out? did I pack my stuff? what's for dinner? What's for lunch? Nope, can't eat from the school cafeteria again.... don't want to waste my weight watchers membership fee..... there is so much to consider each morning that I either a) overplan, B) wing it, or C) give up on sanity and get about half of the stuff done in the morning.

Diane - posted on 08/08/2011

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Hi, there. There are certainly times when Mom needs some alone time, and nighttimes are sometimes those times.

Yes, co-sleeping is not the norm, but it works for us. Bedtime is together time and all 4 of us have slept together in one bed, in two beds, in separate rooms, or in the same room. My kids are 6 and 4.5 and we still co-sleep. I wouldn't have it any other way now. I'll miss this time with them, snuggling, reading, telling stories, and talking about our day. Honestly, I'm not sure I can sleep without them anymore, muchless they without me! It's all comfortable, and it's all fine. One day we'll all be alone again, and I'll miss the closeness.

Spend every moment you can.



Oh, and I don't know if there is a 'part of the day I dread the most'. I love being with my kids all the time, but there are some trying situations we find ourselves having to survive through.....like the "I want...s", and the nights I've stayed up through sickness and fevers. It's all part of the deal. I still love it all.

Carmina - posted on 08/08/2011

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waking up in the morning im 7 months pregnant and have noooo energy for my son lol its such an effort just to make him breakfast!

Alexandra - posted on 08/08/2011

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any time when they start those screamings and tantrums. it is just a phase, hang in there.

Diana - posted on 08/08/2011

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I don't have any good advice for bedtime, but I have to touch on your subject line: "We should love every moment we have with our little ones." SAYS WHO?! I have loved my children like mad, but there are still times when when I need a minute alone. And when a child is being trying, we aren't expected to love it, just deal with it. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing fine.

Sharon - posted on 08/08/2011

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it is a very hard time but if you want to set a good pattern for their life habits and some peace for you in the evenings you just have to be firm and persist get a routine going before it bed time and you will be fine it will be hard for a while but they very clever and learn fast good luck

Carol - posted on 08/08/2011

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I know it's totally not our culture, but many people around the world sleep with their children. My youngest had to sleep in our bedroom next to our bed till she was over 3, until we could make space for her in our small house. After that, I would lie down with her until she fell asleep. When she was 7, I suggested that she could fall asleep alone and she reluctantly agreed. It was a tender time, snuggling with her. With my older kids, after they were completely tucked into bed, I would read to them. This helped them relax, unless the story was too exciting. Don't despair, your boy won't be this little for long!

Ale - posted on 08/08/2011

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You have to make every moment of their day special, maybe sit next to him or carry him in your arms for a little while until que understand or feels that going to bed is not a tragic moment. When my baby was born and he cried for food, I dedicated to him at last one hour breast feeding him. in a couple of months he slept all nigh long and still do it till now. I think I made him feel that sleeping was OK. I dont know if this really works or I just had a really good kid, but thats my advice.

Pamela - posted on 08/08/2011

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In retrospect, as a mother of 3 adult men, I only dreaded when my oldest son was ill, could not be diagnosed and was semi-comatose for 5 months of his life. Other than that I didn't dread any of it. There were unpleasant moments, as we are all human, however dread was never in my vocabulary until my son was struck unexpectedly ill.

Tracy - posted on 08/08/2011

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my 10 month old and 3 yr old (this friday) are both in bed by 7:30 and they sleep until 7ish.they both share a room. i explain to my 3 year old that its quiet time because baby needs to sleep and so does she. i allow her to watch her shows in bed so she stays quiet. she does stay in the bed for the most part and falls asleep usually within 15 mins to 1 hr. my almost 3 yr old took naps everyday and she would be up until 11. i enjoyed having me time since i am home with them all day. so i decided to make a bed time. i stuck to it. i took away mine and her nap time and let her stay up. she does get cranky and whiny around 6 but i know its time to get ready for bed an hour after that. if you kid doesnt normally go to bed by 11 then try making it 10:30 for almost a week then 10 for a week,then 930,then900 ,until the bedtime.they will eventually get used to bed time being when you set it but you have to make sure you keep to the schedule.

Alicia - posted on 08/08/2011

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I have a 26-month-old, and our usual routine at bedtime is that we put him in his nighttime diaper and pajamas and then let him snuggle up with us for a 15 or 30 minute TV show that is fairly calming ("Between the Lions" is great for this) with the lights out in the living room, and then every night my husband or I will say the same thing, "It's time for the TV to go night-night; get your woobies (blankets) and your bopple (pacifier) and let's go to bed." Our son picks up those items and carries them to his bedroom door and waits for us to open it. When we open the door we put him in his crib, we read him a Bible story and ask him for prayer requests, then we pray together and ask for hugs. Then we turn on his crib music, give him a book to read and say goodnight, shutting the door behind us. We play white noise of seashore sounds on his CD player 24/7 and keep a small, dim lamp on, so that he knows his room is a safe, calm place (helps during naptime, too.) Sometimes he stays awake for awhile, reading, talking to his stuffed animals, or even bouncing in the bed, but eventually he gets mellow and goes to sleep. It's important not to check on him after we've closed the door, and not to buy into any theatrics or crying (when we've gone in because he's crying, he immediately pops up and says, "Hi!" with a big grin, so we know it's just manipulative behavior.)

That all being said, I HATE grocery shopping with him; that is definitely the LEAST favorite part of my day, with the drama, screaming, and fall on the floor hysterics. I know he gets bored in the store, but bringing toys or videos doesn't even seem to help. If anyone knows any secret routines or ways to make that easier, I'd love to know them!!!

Rena - posted on 08/08/2011

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My daughter didn't want to stay in bed when she was moved from her crib. After a couple nights of fighting I simply put her to bed (after bath, snack, story, potty and kiss) and then grabbed my book and sat on the floor outside her closed door. Everytime I heard her feet hit the floor I said "Get back into bed"... I spent about an hour outside her door the first night, about 1/2 hour on the second night and after about 3 nights she realized that mom could see everything and was not giving up. (I must admit I would have loved to have seen her expression as she headed back to bed because an unseen Mommy had spoken.) It was definitely short term pain for long term gain. Try it... I have shared this with mom's of my daycare kids and they have been amazed at how well it works.

Lin - posted on 08/08/2011

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I had awful trouble with my 4 yr from day one hated sleep. He would wake at 6am earilier didnt matter what time he went to bed r how long his nap was. He had asthma and would puke n sleep so id haue to bring him n with me bad habit l know, but I was so afraid he choke.anyway he got n to habit of me lyin with him cos if I left him to cry he get nto fit of cough then puke and get breathless but thing are mprouin he started to stay n his bed a nite I stil haue to go with him but there mprovement he cant sleep during day though now r he be up al nite. He sleep til around 8 now on a good day .this was my worse time of day but not so much now. I might add my 10 yr old has always been great sleeper still is al children are different and u has find what routine suits then. Gettin my 10yr up and out for school would b worse time day now! Lol!

Kansas - posted on 08/08/2011

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Supernanny (whom I don't always agree with) has a great tactic for putting down fussy babies/children. She does the bed time routine (bath, drink, potty, story and maybe potty again) then she lays them down with kisses and leaves the room. When they get up (as they always do) she puts them down with a gentle but firm "It's night night time" and another kiss, from then on everytime they get up she just picks them up and brings them to the bed with no words and no more kisses. It may take some time, I've seen kids on the show go a couple of hours, but they usually pick up on the hint and fall asleep. Watch a couple episodes (this is in almost every epi) and see the routine. It worked for me and my daughter. Good luck!!

Stacey - posted on 08/08/2011

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Be patient and keep returning him to bed as much as it takes, he will eventually get it and surrender....it's frustrating, best of luck!

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I have daughter and she's turning 1 next month and im experiencing the same thing since she was 7months old all i can say its getting better. If i see that she deviate from the routine i do too i make a new routine and just like that she follows. I usually play or everyone take their chance to play with her this is just to tire her out after that i close the door and its just me and her to make sure things calm down after she realises its really quiet she gets into my lap have her bottle as comfort and goes to sleep...i hope some of this helps just remember you not alone i sometimes have to fight to get her to sleep

Joy - posted on 08/08/2011

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Believe me I think everyone goes through that! I had four and they all did that. You just have to wait until they grow out of it around 4 or 5? I used to tell my husband it wasn't fair that he could just go to bed and I had to stay up until my babies and toddlers were asleep. I didn't even go to bed until they were sleeping for at least an hour. Sometimes I had to stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning before that happened. I can really sympathize with you! This will pass soon. Mine are 25, 23, 17, and 15. My 15 year old son likes to stay up all night now. I think he's going through this stage again! l.o.l. The only difference is he goes to bed about 10 so I go to bed and if he gets up I don't know it because I am already asleep. If I get up to use the bathroom sometimes I will notice he's up getting a drink etc. At least I don't have to take care of him like when he was a toddler so it's not as bad as what your going through! Someday you will look back and they will be grown and that will all be past you. It really does go by fast believe me!

Judi - posted on 08/08/2011

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Your best bet, as pretty much everyone has stated, is to find a routine that works, but keep in mind, it's a routine and it has to be the same most of the time. (missing the routine once in a while it ok) At a year, I set up a routine by having unwind time. Sometimes we shower, sometimes not. We always do teeth and then straight to be. Everyone is going to have a different routine and all children require a different amount of sleep. Unless a child does not go to bed at night or they are not going to bed at a reasonable hour, then i do not believe in waking children from nap. My two younger children range from an hour and a half to three hours depending on the activities of the day and what the previous day was like. If they have a really busy day or they miss a nap the day before, then I expect a longer nap that day. If we go swimming, I expect them to sleep longer. Some children are not sleepers and the question becomes whether they need a nap at all or if you don't mind the melt down time. Age is only a factor for some children as some really enjoy their sleep and others don't. Find what works for you, adjust as needed and try to stay calm. Children will test, so be firm.

Judi - posted on 08/08/2011

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Your best bet, as pretty much everyone has stated, is to find a routine that works, but keep in mind, it's a routine and it has to be the same most of the time. (missing the routine once in a while it ok) At a year, I set up a routine by having unwind time. Sometimes we shower, sometimes not. We always do teeth and then straight to be. Everyone is going to have a different routine and all children require a different amount of sleep. Unless a child does not go to bed at night or they are not going to bed at a reasonable hour, then i do not believe in waking children from nap. My two younger children range from an hour and a half to three hours depending on the activities of the day and what the previous day was like. If they have a really busy day or they miss a nap the day before, then I expect a longer nap that day. If we go swimming, I expect them to sleep longer. Some children are not sleepers and the question becomes whether they need a nap at all or if you don't mind the melt down time. Age is only a factor for some children as some really enjoy their sleep and others don't. Find what works for you, adjust as needed and try to stay calm. Children will test, so be firm.

Diana - posted on 08/08/2011

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I have 2 girls 9 & 11. I've always been strict about bedtime because by the end of the day I'm as tired as they are and need a little down time too. Up until they were about 5 or 6, bedtime was between 7 & 7:30. That means that they were in bed by that time, not getting ready for bed at that time. My older daughter used to actually ask to go to bed around 7 & it seemed to work for both of them. Sometimes the little one would try to stretch out going to bed, but after 2 or three days of needing drinks, going potty, & other stall tactics, I would explain that all of that needs to be done by *insert bedtime here*. Routine is the most important thing. I would just go through the checklist to make sure they had everything by bedtime. I would start getting them ready for bed at least a half an hour earlier than they were supposed to be in bed. I think they all go through a stage where they like to test their limits. They would get their bath, a snack, brush their teeth, then a few stories with the lights down low & snuggled up on the sofa. They are smart little buggers & know perfectly well at age 2 what the routine is and what is expected of them. Sometimes I would gently remind them of what the routine for the night would be. Once story time was over they would give Daddy hugs & kisses and head off to bed to be tucked in. I had a table lamp for their room rather than turning on the bright, overhead light and would put on their night-night CD (They loved a classical music CD that I bought for my sister's wedding.). We would make it a game sometimes to see how fast they could get ready for bed so they could get an extra story in. Other times we needed to use "Fred the Imaginary Monster". Fred was a naughty, little imaginary monster who looked like one of the monsters from Sesame Street (it was right before Monsters, Inc. came out). He had red fur like Elmo and fluffy tufts on the top of his head according to my girls' imagination. The girls would brush their teeth to show "Fred" how it was supposed to be done and teach him how to behave by going to bed when they were supposed to. The girls would come up with all sorts of silly things that naughty, imaginary Fred would do & I would encourage them to show Fred what good girls do. Fred was a great tool who helped them not be afraid of the dark because monsters aren't really all that scary when they look like muppets. Fred also helped them eat nice at dinner time. I would make up little tales like, "Oh No! Do you see what Fred is doing now?! He is trying to brush his feet with his toothbrush! That's not how you do it, is it? Show Fred how good little kids brush their teeth." or "Oh my goodness! Fred is putting his face on his plate and trying to eat like a messy monster! Is that how we eat our food? NO! You tell Fred to eat nice & show him how good girls eat their food!" They would giggle and it worked most of the time. Fred loved stories but didn't always like going to bed. It was the girls job to show him how to behave and not act like a little monster. Sometimes they had to tell Fred to stop talking and go to sleep because they were going be tired in the morning. He would also come with us to the store where he would sometimes act up. The girls were in charge of showing him how it is not nice to touch things or run in the isles. They would show him how to open doors for people and use his manners. Kids love to feel like they are teaching someone else things just like mommy & daddy do.

Judi - posted on 08/08/2011

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Your best bet, as pretty much everyone has stated, is to find a routine that works, but keep in mind, it's a routine and it has to be the same most of the time. (missing the routine once in a while it ok) At a year, I set up a routine by having unwind time. Sometimes we shower, sometimes not. We always do teeth and then straight to be. Everyone is going to have a different routine and all children require a different amount of sleep. Unless a child does not go to bed at night or they are not going to bed at a reasonable hour, then i do not believe in waking children from nap. My two younger children range from an hour and a half to three hours depending on the activities of the day and what the previous day was like. If they have a really busy day or they miss a nap the day before, then I expect a longer nap that day. If we go swimming, I expect them to sleep longer. Some children are not sleepers and the question becomes whether they need a nap at all or if you don't mind the melt down time. Age is only a factor for some children as some really enjoy their sleep and others don't. Find what works for you, adjust as needed and try to stay calm. Children will test, so be firm.

Donyelle - posted on 08/08/2011

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I just had this convo with my daughter. She keeps my grandson for his mother sometimes 3-4 days out of the week and he's used to sleeping with someone. I told her that old habits are hard to break. Ur baby is old enough to understand what you say and what You Do!!! Tell him that he must go and when he must go and mean it don't change your mind becuz he acts out. Try to be gentle and firm. You must let your yes mean yes and your no, no! Good Luck! P.S. Maybe start bed time a lil early so you don't get so worn out if you have to go to work the next day!

Bonnie - posted on 08/08/2011

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I feel your pain. I am a single mom with a 4 year old and 1 1/2 year old. Bedtime is crazy. I am trying all those things you see on super nanny but it took me 2 hours to get to bed last night and I had a headache from my youngest crying.
I don't let the crying get to me. But at the same time I have my older son with a big pout saying how scared he is and he doesn't want to sleep by himself.
I have used the same routine since my oldest was 6 months old. Always bath, snack, 2 books then bed but that doesn't help.
I just hold onto the hope that one day it will pay off and they will sleep. They are the most wonderful children other then bedtime. I have been blessed with great kids who I wouldn't trade for the world, but I just wish bedtime was easier.

Candace - posted on 08/08/2011

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I honestly don't know. My son is 15 months and has the same night time routine now for like a year, also nap times are a breeze, sometimes he will tell us he wants to go to bed by laying on his blanky on the floor and sucking his fingers. He gets a lil cranky or whiney when he's hungry but as soon as he's in his highchair with a plate of food, he's happpy agaiin :)

Collette - posted on 08/08/2011

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have u watched supernanny where she deals with children who play up at bedtime x she says the first time read them a story and relax them then put them into bed and night night sleep time now then if they get out of bed again say night time now and tuck them back in then the final step is to put them back into bed without saying anything then keep completeing this final step til they stay in bed and fall asleep do this every night til the message sinks in and they do it by themselves i tired it and it worked within bout 3 nights xx hope this help sxx

Stifler's - posted on 08/07/2011

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Dinner time. Logan hardly ever eats his dinner, I don't enjoy my dinner because the kids are both awake being unpleasant and tired.

Katherine - posted on 08/07/2011

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My daughter also 2.5 is the same way. I dread 1pm because she want's a nap. I dread bedtime because she's HAD a nap and won't go to bed. If I don't give her a nap she's a bear at 4pm. Argh! Can't win.

Arwen - posted on 08/07/2011

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i have a just over 3 year old...we have a bedtime routine that we stick to as much as humanly possible and even if the TIMES change the routine is the same. for the moms who "have" to rock/snuggle their kids to sleep...just be careful that you dont have that as their only way to crash or you will be helping them sleep WAY past the age where its cute anymore...Now i am NOT JUDGING i swear!!! we started the cry it out (modified) method when baby was 6 months or so old...it almost KILLED me i cried when he did! but he learned very quickly that he was safe and that he could calm himself..he is champion sleeper now. bedtime routine is get a snack for storytime, take vitamin hug/kiss daddy goodnight(if im in the house i have to put him down.) get the bed ready/turned down, ipod music ready to play...read one MAYBE two stories. then we turn off the lights, snuggle him in his blankie, sing a few songs in the rocking chair and a few more iin his bed. huggs and kisses. turn on music. say goodnight and walk out...he sometimes wont settle right off but he is usually really good about going to sleep. GOOD LUCK to all.

Debbie - posted on 08/07/2011

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My eldest is now 4, and we had so much trouble with him when he was younger, it's just not funny. Someone suggested to me back then that I needed to shorten his day sleeps, but when I tried that it just made things so much worse. By the end of the day he was so tired and cranky that he wasn't able to eat his dinner, and then he became so overtired that he couldn't go to sleep at night. Then someone else suggested to me that I should start putting him to bed earlier at night, rather than shortening his day sleep I was like, "Yeah right, as if that's going to help", but I tried it anyway as I was at my wits end. Surprisingly, it worked. I put him to bed an hour earlier than I used to (bedtime now is between 7 and 7.30pm), and he generally goes to sleep without me having to go back to him. Occasionally he will get up a couple of times, or will call me back for some silly reason, but I explain to him that whatever he needs to talk to me about, it can wait until the sun comes up. I never ever tell him no more talking, as I have friends with non verbal children, and they just woke up one morning and the speech was gone - you just never know.

I also don't love every minute of being a mum, but those precious moments when they cuddle me close and tell me they love me, or that I'm the best mummy in the world, well, they make up for the bad times. I love my boys more than life itself, but I have now accepted the fact that I don't always have to like them.

Good luck with the sleeping issue, I know just how hard it can be.

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I developed a routine...well, actually, we had routine from day one...but, anyway...everynight I would sing the same three songs...Jesus loves me, If all the raindrops were gumdrops, and Iove you, you love me, (Barney)...all while pacing back and forth in her room...then put her in her crib. If she cried, I just let her cry. (Unless it went on for much longer, then I would check on her.)

Terri - posted on 08/07/2011

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My tough time is in the evenings especially if they've had no nap. They are hungry and want to eat but I won't give them a snack because we will be having dinner soon. So I have 2 cranky, hungry kids on my hands. But I know that one day in the near future (years from now but they go by so fast) when they are grown and out of the house I will be wishing for these days back. So- what's a Mom to do? Hang in there! :)

Debora - posted on 08/07/2011

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if hes still doing naps try shortening that since the more they are awake during day the better they sleep at night.you can put some soft music on for him to fall asleep to .

Stephanie - posted on 08/07/2011

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I had the same problem with my 2.5 year old, we just had to "stick to our guns" and but him to bed and leave him there even if he cried. It was hard but after a few nights he realized we were not coming back to get him out.

Kimberly - posted on 08/07/2011

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so sorry you're having such a tough time. HUGS! We established a bedtime routine with our daughter early on. we started her in her crib at 8 weeks so she got used to it. I have to say she goes down really well now (she is 17 months) we had some trying months in-between where I would stay with her until she cried (when she was 6-8 months old) but for months now she knows when it's bedtime. I put her in her pj's and tell her were going to go put her jammies on. Then we read books, cuddle, laugh, then we brush her teeth, and I put on a CD that's for bedtime and lay her in the crib. We have been doing this routine since she was 8 weeks old, and it has finally paid off. Routine is important, and remember to be consistent. Good luck hon!

Kimberly - posted on 08/07/2011

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I don't love every single minute with my child, particularly not the difficult ones which I have often. Parenting is hard, trying, time consuming, and at times mind numbing (think 5 kids screaming for hours). many parents feel guilt for not loving every minute, even the crappy ones, but the reality is its messy, and not all sunshine, lollipops, and puppy dogs. I think that most people "think" they know what it will be like, from babysitting, or helping with siblings, but its different when the responsibility is all on u with no one to pass it off to when you're at wits end. part of me thinks that if people REALLY knew what it would be like before they have that first child that there would be a lot fewer children. at least in places where women have primary control over their fertility.

Jo - posted on 08/07/2011

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Jill, how do you cope?! This doesn't sound good for you or her and I guess you'd both be happier with an earlier bedtime. At 4 she's well old enough to know what she should be doing at bedtime. If necessary sit outside her door and put her back in bed with no chat each time she gets out, it should only take a few nights for her to get the idea. Or try letting her take a book or story tape to bed like someone else suggested. Good luck, I hope you can improve things for your own sanity!

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