I'm 13 pregnant and was looking for advice?

CORINNE - posted on 09/27/2012

Sorry I don't read all the posts.



IF YOU WERE RAPED.

ABORT

GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION (I AM NOT A FAN OF THIS MY MOTHER WAS ADOPTED MY NIECE WAS ADOPTED AND MY DAUGHTER IN LAW WAS ADOPTED ---ALL HAVE HORROR STORIES TO TELL!)



YES, IT IS A LIVING CHILD. BUT ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU.

YOU MOST LIKELY WILL RESENT THIS CHILD AND SEE THE RAPIST WHEN YOU LOOK AT HIM/HER!



IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND THIS IS THE REASON FOR THE ATTACK YOU NEED TO LEARN TO FIGHT SO IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN!

DO NOT JUST LET THINGS HAPPEN.



GET AN ABORTION ( IN RAPE /INCEST I BELIEVE YOU ARE GUILT FREE).

AND LIVE YOUR LIFE.



GOOD LUCK

CORINNE BALANTE

Alayna - posted on 09/27/2012

Well Corinne if u read her other posts u will see that she did not JUST have sex, she was raped so b a little more compassionate

CORINNE - posted on 09/27/2012

First of all WHY at 13 years old are you having sex?

Is this baby from a boyfriend or something else?

At 13 your life is not yet even ready to have a child. You will have a harder time in delivery because your body is not mature enough to handle this.



Should you decide to have and keep this child, know it is NOT going to be like the HORRIBLE TV SHOW....16 AND PREGNANT!

You will be taking care of someone.

Children, do NOT automatically LOVE you. Encase you were looking for someone to Love you!

LOVE IS EARNED! Not just given.

I'M thinking your relationship with your parents is NOT the greatest, you have no one to talk to and now you think you will, with this child.

LET ME TELL YOU....IT IS A LOT OF HARD WORK, NO TIME OFF AND THANKLESS!

At 13, I personally don't think you are ready for this.

At as a mother of two sons ages 25 years and 15 years, and a Grandmother of a 3 yr old grand daughter. I have experience. I was 25 when I had my oldest son. BUT, I was 14 and pregnant and lost that child, and many others in between my sons and my last child had to be removed at five months because the umbilical cord blew off the baby and died.

My point in telling you this, is that I know what it is to be too young and having sex. And although, I did not know it then, I know it now that I was looking for love in all the wrong places.

You have to be a whole person and LOVE yourself first.

Grow up and go to college, have a career, live on your own, date, and then marry, THEN have kids. Having kids too early can ruin your body and make it easier to miscarry later in life. (So I have been told), and with having six (6) miscarriages I guess they are right.



What does your boyfriend say? Is he going to help you? Get a job and take care of this child? Are you going to get a job? AND WHO HIRES A 13 YR OLD? NO ONE!

What about school for you and the father? Who is able to guide you and help you?

Babies do NOT shut up because you are tired, crabby, not in the mood, want to go to the football game. etc.

They cry and they have a cry for each need.

Feed me,

hold me,

love me,

I'm scared etc.

Your job is to FIGURE IT OUT!

CALMLY, as the baby FEELS TENSION they CRY MORE!

SO you MUST stay calm and control the situation.

At 13 I don't think you are ready!



YOUR LIFE IS OVER, IT IS NOW ALL ABOUT THIS BABY! NOT YOU!

ARE YOU READY?



An abortion is YOUR choice. But PRAY about it. Talk to your parents.

GOOD LUCK WITH WHAT EVER DECISION YOU MAKE.

CORINNE BALANTE

Alayna - posted on 09/27/2012

She responded to ppls comments many times u got to just keep reading

Alayna - posted on 09/27/2012

Felicia she said it in another post after that, u gotta read all the posts that follow. She wrote a few more like this one........



I'm 13. I had been forced to get pregnant. I'm not even attracted to men... My grandma has been supportive as of lately... But realistic which I appreciate.



I've just wanted my parents to be supportive... My parents make a lot of money so idk if I can help from the state?





And here is another one she wrote right on this page....



there is no dad he raped me. I'm actually not attracted to guys. So it being a 'lesson' means nothing to a lesbian when it comes to pregnancy... I have my grandma who's been helping now.... Yes he's een reported I explained in previous pages.





mainly by my using my money and likely my parents providing for me I wasn't quite kicked out I just couldn't handle being there. They were so mean about the baby I couldn't handle that but I understand they're going throug a lot too hopefully we can fimd a common ground some time soon. Also yea I have therapy since the assault.

Felicia - posted on 09/27/2012

I'm 10 weeks pregnant today, but my parents want me to get an aortion thy continue to pressure me to get rid of it. I was initially pregnant with twins ut I miscarried one. I just want to know how can I convince them. If not convince how do I make the best of my situation? Advice needed please. where in here does it say that she was forst to get pregant i dont see that at all? it just says that she was pregnant with twins and lost one???????????SHE doesnt say that she was forst her in this msg!

Jo - posted on 09/27/2012

As the others mums have said no one can force you to have an abortion!!

I had a baby when I was 16. That baby is now 20 and I am just about to have my fourth baby any day now! I believe it is up to you to make the best of your life! I raised my kids and then became a police officer. I have been in the police for the past 8 years! If you want to keep your baby then do it! Having a baby does NOT mean your life is over or ruined!

Good luck!

Alayna - posted on 09/26/2012

Wow cant believe all of this im reading. Well, there has been some great advice here. U are 10 wks? Well i can tell u that when i was prego with my daughter at 19 i had my first sonogram at 10 wks and my daughter was a full baby, not a blob like many ppl think at that stage of pregnancy. She had every feature and she was even jumping up and down and doing flips, it was amazing to watch actually. U sound very mature for a 13 yr old and u seem to have your priorities straight. Im very proud of u for not choosing abortion....its something u will have in the back of ur head 4 the rest of your life, especially if u didnt want one in the first place. I have to tell u that keeping it will b very hard as well, maybe harder than u think. I have two children and im not even a single mother and im older, and its STILL stressful. No decision u make will b easy. There is always open adoption. If u choose that then u will still b able to see ur baby and the baby will know that u r its mother, but u will not have legal custody. U wont feel like u abandoned ur baby, because they will still grow up knowing and loving u, and when they r old enough, they will understand why u couldnt take care them. U will still b able to live ur life like a normal teenager and wont have half the stress, but wont live with the thought in the back of ur head that u killed the baby. Ur parents need to remember that ur baby is innocent throughout this whole thing and doesnt deserve to b killed no matter how he or she was conceived. Well, no matter what, i think u will make the right decision bcuz u seem like a mature young lady. Remember do what u think is best for u, but make sure u think long term. Best of luck to u and ur baby :) Let me know what u decide to do in the end



Alayna

Carol - posted on 09/26/2012

Check out crisis pregnancy centers, which can help with clothing, diapers, etc. Also, I hope you will totally breastfeed as long as possible. Formula is very expensive and not as good for the baby's health. You will save a lot on doctor bills if you nurse, and you will find it rewarding once you get the rhythm of it--it's so sweet to cuddle your baby and be close this way. This baby is your child, and it will not inherit its father's bad character. Many famous and wonderful peop[le could have been aborted because of the situations their mothers were in, but instead they contributed greatly to the world. You will never be sorry you chose the difficult but rewarding path of giving life to your own flesh and blood.

Mina - posted on 09/26/2012

It is so disturbing that Aasera can write and spell better than many of the people that are trying to give her advice!!! I say keep your baby, honey. You are going to be a great parent. You sound mature and responsible. And Lesbians make some of the best moms in the world. Really!

Unless this whole thing is a hoax...! Then you really got us :)

Kymberly - posted on 09/26/2012

HI Aasera... that is quite a difficult situation - I am so sorry for the stress that this must be causing you and the grief you are feeling. Let me assure you, you are not alone in this. There are many people out there who want to support and help young ladies like you. I urge you, don't get an abortion. It is only a temporary solution - it will not undo the choices that brought you here and will only add to your heartache. I encourage you to go to a local Crisis Pregnancy Center or church and ask for assistance. They can get you connected with resources available to you, including maternity homes. I am not sure about laws in your state, but you may be able to stay at a licensed maternity home until your parents get their handle on the situation. I am sure that they love you - it is a lot to process that your child is both sexually active and now on their way to being a parent. I am on staff at a maternity home in houston, texas, and I work with ladies in your situation every day. See if there is a maternity home available to you locally - if not, please feel free to check out ours www.lifehousehouston.org. You can talk to someone there, and your parents can as well. Even if you decided not to go that route, it might be very helpful for you all to get some guidance on where to go from here. Praying for you sweets. You can contact me at Info@lifehousehouston.org. Put "To Kymberly" in the subject line. Hope to hear from you soon!



Kymberly

Lifehouse of Houston

Aasera Alina - posted on 09/26/2012

there is no dad he raped me. I'm actually not attracted to guys. So it being a 'lesson' means nothing to a lesbian when it comes to pregnancy... I have my grandma who's been helping now.... Yes he's een reported I explained in previous pages.





mainly by my using my money and likely my parents providing for me I wasn't quite kicked out I just couldn't handle being there. They were so mean about the baby I couldn't handle that but I understand they're going throug a lot too hopefully we can fimd a common ground some time soon. Also yea I have therapy since the assault.

Loretta - posted on 09/26/2012

I agree with Michelle Lasher if you don't want to do this they can not make you. I know you are young and I can see you love your baby already Aasera you will need some support from Family and Friends. I have to ask what about the Father parents and what have they said in all this. Aasera if you don't want to have an Abortion you don't have to do this like Michelle said there are other ways to solve this. You will need lots of help and support. I know a young lady your age gave birth to twins and she went thru the samething you are going thru. Her Mom didn't like it but she supported her daughter. her twins today are grown and have kids of there on now. Yuor parents may come around. Let this be a learn lesson for you and the Father of your child. I am hoping that his parents are also willing to support you and help out. I will be praying for you and your Family. God knows your story and God Has His Hands On You. Keep the Faith and look to God because God already know the out come just have Faith. I see you are doing some learning already.

Shekinah - posted on 09/26/2012

Sweetheart seek God and He shall direct your path. Your parents are disappointe because they love you and they know the struggle of parenting. Your child is a blessing and God has already forgiven you for the act. I was pregnant at 14, but I didn't want the child and it was my decision. Your child won't stop you, but will make things more challenging at times. God Bless you;)

Sharlene - posted on 09/26/2012

Oh precious girl, my 13 yr old niece has a beautiful baby girl and one of her friends just found out that she is pregnant at 14, my niece said "if i knew then what i know now i would have adopted her out, an open adoption would have been the best". We are very proud that she feels like that as she did not realise till baby was 5 months old how very hard raising a baby at such a young age would be. She has alot of support from family but sadly nana has custody now because the state was not convinced that she was making good choices when it came to the baby, so we stepped in and the relationship is awesome. This is a good outcome but you need to think about your future and how you will provide for your baby? Do you have extended family that will take you in and help you raise the baby? Good luck Precious

Tonensha - posted on 09/26/2012

I seen that comment too. What do u mean u were forced to get pregnant? I also think u and ur parents should call the police. As far as ur decision, i think u need to sit down and think about ur options, cause u have a few. Its is hard to raise a child at such a young age and with out the support of the ones who raised u ( ur parents) but there are many of good couples that cant have children of their own and that can raise and support a child. ( not sayin u cant ) I just say think long and hard about ur decision cause no matter which way u decide to go, it will b one u live with for the rest of ur life.. I will keep u and ur baby in my thoughts and prayers..

Linda - posted on 09/25/2012

Please don't abort your baby, life is sacred. Adoption is a better option. Do you have anyone at your church or a friend's church that can talk to your parents? This website may help:

http://www.motherhelp.info/keepingyourch...

Michelle - posted on 09/25/2012

Hi Aasera, You sound like a very mature 13 year old. Now that you have decided to keep the baby just keep looking forward and your parents will come around eventually. Your parents are just freaking out because they weren't able to save you from the trauma of being raped which is hard to deal with at any age. I suppose if I had a 13 year old who had been raped and then got pregnant I too would be suggesting abortion or adoption but they are both your decisions to be made. ok so now you have to make plans on the basic requirements of life like shelter, food etc. for shelter I would see if you could stay with your grandma for a year at lest so that you have the support during the early stages. In Australia we have housing commission property's and I suggest finding out about financial help from the government and child support.

Tara - posted on 09/25/2012

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I was a teen mom I had my son at 16 and you have no idea what having a baby means and what you will be sacrificing. Don't get my wrong I love my son more than life and I am thankful for him every day, but I have had to work twice as hard for everything in my life. My parents also kicked me out and I lived in an unwed mothers shelter which might be a good option for you if you decide to keep the baby because they offer Counselors and endless parenting classes along with continuing your education. The best advice I can give you is to tell your parents that you need counseling, especially since you unwillingly had sex. or find someone you can confide in. I wish you the best as regardless what discussion you make will be very tough to deal with. What ever decision you do make it will be okay. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you.

Kimberly - posted on 09/25/2012

You hav to do whats best for you kid are a blessing that give ur life purpose dont let anyone take yat from you

Aasera Alina - posted on 09/25/2012

if she got pregnant I'd try to support her decision. And if it were a similar situation I'd not diminish its existence just because of who's its father was. Rather I would accept her decision as that's what matters.

Stifler's - posted on 09/25/2012

Please get some professional counseling.

Aasera Alina - posted on 09/25/2012

I'm willing to put my baby first and foremost. Financially I'm hoping to convince my parents. I don't really think I would enjoy my youth years without the baby. I would rather celebrate having the aby then killing an important part of myself...

Stifler's - posted on 09/25/2012

Wow 13. If your 13 year old child was pregnant what would you say? Things to think about before you become a mum.

Kappy - posted on 09/25/2012

Well, if you are against abortion, there are tons of families who would just ADORE your baby. You are really much too young to take care of a baby yourself. Adoptions these days are often open so that you can receive pics of the child as he or she grows up. You can look through sets of couples and choose parents for your child yourself! You can even pick a couple who will kind of look like your baby!



Contact some adoption agencies in your area and then approach your parents with the information. That is a mature thing to do, and I think they would see that you are willing to bear the embarrassment of the pregnancy at a young age in order to do what sits right with your conscience. Hang in there honey!!!

Deshawnta - posted on 09/25/2012

I was a teen mom at 17...and we turned out great my daughter is now in college and is doing awesome. But. It was a hard road that i made myself ready for bc i had no choice. I totally agree with your parents. Dont sale your self short so young. You still have a couple of years of learning in school for YOURSELF...being a good parent is a hard full time job and it is no longer about you! Wait until u can stand sercurely on your OWN two feet. Your parents will become ur sole providers for this child and that is not fait to them. Stay young and enjoy your childhood as much as you can bc when its gone you will never get that time back. You have plenty of time for children to do it the right way. please dont bring a child here at your young precious age to struggle.GET RID OF IT....b4 its to late. you are not mentally..physically or financially ready...love you much my young sister. Do whats right!

Dove - posted on 09/25/2012

$2,000 is a good start, but it won't get you far at all. Have you worked out a budget of what the baby will cost you in just the first year alone? How are you going to work, go to high school, and raise a baby? You have a plan to further your education? Great! What is your financial plan? Who is going to help you with financial support and are THEY ok with it?



Are you under your parent's medical insurance? You should contact your local DHS office to see what programs are available in your area to help you. Please seek counseling. Even if you think you are ok.... you are 13. And I'm not trying to be a 'downer'. I am one in favor of your decision to not abort and if you can make it work... keeping your baby is awesome, but the reality of being a single mom at any age is not awesome.... much less being a mom in middle school/high school.

Aasera Alina - posted on 09/25/2012

I was sexually assaulted by my ex. My friends side with him my parents hate him and hate the baby... I'm happy with my decision to keep it. I am pro-choice I guess for everyone else though. But I'm ok now. I just needed to get away from my parents... I have a plan to further my education and try my est financially. I have 2 grand in allowance earnings I just have to budget better. It's not going to e easy ut I'll do anything for my baby honestly...

Stephany - posted on 09/25/2012

We adopted two boys, and our niece was the result of a 14 year old who gave up her child. Please explain to your parents that abortion has potential for not only future physical problems ( carrying more children), but it could harm you emotionally and psychologically. You seem to be a mature young woman who wants the best for your unborn child. I will pray for you and your parents....

Dove - posted on 09/25/2012

It's forced, not forsed, and if you actually read the replies you would see that she said she was forced. I'm assuming she was sexually assaulted and it seems like it was done by some 'friends'.

Thereasa - posted on 09/25/2012

Felicia read back through the posts it's from one herself

Felicia - posted on 09/25/2012

well i know that shes sad hello she she a baby haveing a baby.....i was asking why people were saying that she was forsed to get pregnant i dont see anything on her being forsed to be pregnant?

Chaya - posted on 09/25/2012

Just refuse, even on religous grounds. Speak to a religous leader if you have one. There are homes for unwed mothers.

I honestly hope you consider adoption, I know it's tough, but you need to think about what's best for the baby.

Thereasa - posted on 09/25/2012

I was 14 when I fall pregnant 3 week off 15 when no had him. If your heart is telling you to keep ur baby /pregnancie then do! keep doing schooling aswell (that's what I did) I had an after scho job so I had a little bit of money coming in to so I could get the things I needed but I was still with the dad was with him for 9 years ( no longer am now) he was able to give me extra support money aswell. your parents cannot make you abort it's not ur baby fault read about how now it looks like a human it has a beating heart go on you tube and watch the clip on silent screen there is a few and show ur parents watch how the baby try's to move away from it,it's so sad. but Hun I know I cannot talk but yes 13 is very young start of teen hood and exploring ur life. I'm sure u would make a good mom but please remember if you choose not to adopt and keep, you have to then give up a lot of time with ur friends ur baby comes first and don't let prople get in it head and put u down this is a choice for life now. all the best Hun it's very brave of you to go threw with it and I'm sure u will do well. show ur parents these posts too thus will impact them aswell. It will grow on them and they will love the child so much. best wishes for the future

Alyeene - posted on 09/25/2012

You don't have to chose abortion if you don't want. Not matter what your parents make, you can qualify for assistance because it is you supporting the child not them. Get in touch with United Way or 311. They have counseling and guidence that can help. There are places you can go if your parents won't support your choice.

Laualee - posted on 09/25/2012

I think if better for you to have the baby because I was like that when I was 16 and I had my first one but my parent said I had to suffer the consquence that I had to go forth and had the baby killing a human beaning is not a good thing in a way you will have a burden inside you if you do somethink like that aye

Lisa - posted on 09/25/2012

OMG sweetie you are still a minor, not yet an adult. I fully understand everything you have said in your posts and respect the advice that everyone else has given. But reality should be the ruler here. You probably dislike your parents right now but they are really looking out for your best interests, thinking of your future which is clearly a clouded issue for you at the moment. Abortion is NOT the end of your spiritual being and not the end of the world, and don't get me wrong I used to be very anti-abortion....until I had to have one due to complicated health risks. Yes there was an emotional roller coaster to ride before and after the event, but with counselling and family support you can work through this. And adoption is also an excellent solution at your age. At 13 you should be planning sleep overs with your girlfriends and looking forward to starting college to launch a career for yourself, then when you have your life set up you can have a thousand babies with the man that you choose to have a family with. Having children really is a full time job in itself, and having a 'normal' 20yr old and a 3yr old special needs child I do know the reality of this. Just sit down and talk to your parents about the options that are available and come to a decision that is mutually agreeable to all parties. I know talking to your parents at your age is not the cool thing to do, I hated having to at 13 but it really would be the best idea for a situation like yours. Don't rush, take your time and think about the years beyond the here and now. All the best in making the decision that will be right for your whole family :)

Sonia - posted on 09/25/2012

There are a lot of options for you to look at, especially at your age. I personally would not get an abortion, but the option is there for you. If they are trying to pressure you into it, I believe you must get one in the first trimester so hopefully the pressure will stop when you hit the second trimester. You should try to talk to a professional about it, I'm sure there are places near you that would be able to talk to you, maybe even a social worker or counsellor? nurse, the hospital may be able to put you in touch with someone. There is always adoption. I was adopted because my mother was 15, didn't have the father around, and her parents were not at all supportive and I had a wonderful life growing up, and am in contact with my biological mother now. If you wanted to have the baby then you need to make sure that you have a very good and solid support group around you, whether it be your family or friends or mixture of both. You do need to make sure that your parents understand how you feel and you need to find out if they will support you if you go through with this. I guess another big question is where is the father in all of this?

Dove - posted on 09/25/2012

Read the replies Felicia... SHE said that she was. :(

Verna - posted on 09/25/2012

Mina, I saw that too. :(

Felicia - posted on 09/25/2012

why do people keep saying that you were forst to get pregnant??????im confused ???????

Felicia - posted on 09/25/2012

hi my name is felicia and i am the mother of twines two boys...i was only 19 when i found out i was pregnant for me there was no question i wasnt geting an abortion..but my situation was not bad at all i was already with my husban for 5years bf i got pregnant and was liveing with him for two years already. i think you should think really hard on what you think is best for you and your chiled you gonna need alot of help your only 13years old....are you ready to give up everything for your chiled becaouse once you have a chiled you come last.....i think you should do what you heart tells you to do if you do deside to keep your chiled then theres alot of ppl besides family that can help you with your situation....and if you dont then your so young you have so much time to have a chiled.....but my advice is do what your heart tells you to do not what someone else tells you you should do. your the one thats going to have to live with your desition.....please let me know what you desided......good luck xxx

Dove - posted on 09/25/2012

You do not have to choose abortion if your parents won't help you. You CAN choose adoption... even an open adoption so that you can still, on some level, be a part of your child's life.



I agree with Toni. Please seek outside help to sort this all out. You have said that you don't want to abort and I fear that if you go against that it will cause you much more pain. Yes, I know someone who has had an abortion and doesn't regret it. I also know someone else who has had an abortion and has regretted it every single day for over 40 years. I'm not saying this to try and confuse or hurt you, but to SAVE you the same regret. If you can seek counseling and honestly say that abortion is the best decision... then you may not have those same regrets. Just please don't do it because you feel forced into it.

Joanne - posted on 09/25/2012

Honey I don't think you realize the changes you're going to have to make if you decide to keep this baby. You don't have to abort, but a lot of good famlies want babies. Counting up your allowance isn't gonna be nearly enough. I had a partner and our families around to help and Canada's government gave me $500 for child tax credit monthly ( all families get that), both of us had full time jobs and it was still not enough to get her everything she needed and I was 30 when I had her (she's 6 now).

Your parents are just worried about you. A child at 13 and no support system is difficult and being a single mother is very hard. If you are tired or sick or whatever, it doesn't matter you still have to put your child's needs before your own, you're all he/she has. Think twice about keeping this baby, being a mom is a wonderful thing, but it does not come without sacrifices. I'm sorry that you got assulted and all you 'friends' stopped taling to you. That wasn't fair. Like all the other girls have said, counselling would be one of the best things for you right now.

Krista - posted on 09/25/2012

I'm not saying an abortion is the way to go since you'll likely look back on that the rest of your life. It takes a strong and selfless person to give their child up for adoption. Keeping the baby at your age would be very selfish; ideally, the baby needs the love and support of a two parent family. I'm not trying to be mean as this probably comes off as, but you should be thinking about the baby's needs/desires, not your own.

Pam - posted on 09/25/2012

There are many people who would like to adopt, please think twice about aborting

Krista - posted on 09/25/2012

You are too young to be a good parent; take the time to enjoy your teen years - you'll never get that back.

Toni - posted on 09/25/2012

Aasera right now you can't handle any of this alone. It's great to ask for suggestion, but all of these comments are making you more confused. Seek assistance from a Crisis Pregnancy center or Social Service agency. You need one on one, face to face help. Whatever you decide to do get someone trained to help you figure it out, they may even be able to sit down with you, your parents and grandparents to find a solution that works.



By the way those kids was not your real friends. Friends don't let friends get abused.

Eileen - posted on 09/25/2012

i would like to say that number1 you are just a baby yourself and you still have your whole life in front you . you may not even have any glue what you are about to go thou you have to relize your mom and dad are just looking out for you but i am not telling you what you should do just think of all the choices you have you need to think about what would be best for you and your unborn child if you deciced to have the baby your mom and dad will have to rise it untill you yourself gets a job they will be the ones who will have the say on what will happen when he or she is born think hard before you change your whole life because it will not be easy i wish you the best of luck but bewise in the choices you make ok

Aasera Alina - posted on 09/25/2012

my friends have totally abandoned me since I reported them. I know I was just saying getting money isn't anything my parents are interested in. That's all. If my parents never come around I'm going to e forced with chosing an abortion. I'm just hoping it doesn't come to that. I know emotionally I can't handle either alone.