I'm a bad mom...

Mattee - posted on 12/21/2009 ( 67 moms have responded )

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Not really a question, but more of a confession.... We all do things we know we shouldn't, but it's just more convienent at the time and now it's time to 'fess up! I'll start....



Sometimes I let my son nap in his boppy pillow; he sleeps better. I don't pick him up until he is really crying and I know he isn't just stirring and going to fall back to sleep. Sometimes in the middle of the night I will ignore a wet diaper until he wakes up because I don't want to wake him and have him not go back to sleep, and most days we stay in our PJ's til just before my hubby comes home because I don't want to look like we've been spit up on (peed on pooped etc..) all day.

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Krista - posted on 12/21/2009

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You actually change out of your PJs before your husband comes home? You're doing better than me!

And in my opinion, it's smart to not run to pick him up the second he squawks or fusses. I do the same thing with my boy. If he's actually CRYING, then yes, of course I go get him. But just that kind of "Ehn....ehnnnn" noise? Half the time he's still asleep -- he's just going through a light sleep cycle. Going in would just wake him up all the way -- why do that if there's no need?

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Mary - posted on 01/22/2010

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We are all guilty of getting lazy & not wanting to change clothes or go anywhere. Don't worry about that. The not changing the diaper thing is ok as long as baby isn't sopping wet & doesn't have a really bad rash. If he sleeps better in a boppy more power to you. Just be careful at night when you are not alert enough to notice if he suffocates on pillow or rolls out of it & hurts himself..

Stefanie - posted on 01/13/2010

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I'm guilty of pretty much everything mentioned above. :) I don't think they count towards being a bad mom, tho. I think that's just being a mom. Period. I don't know any moms who 'do it by the book.' And if you're worried about being a bad mom, look at the people around you. The mom's on drugs, for example, the ones who do them around their children - those are bad moms.

Brittany - posted on 01/11/2010

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I don't think any of this makes you a bad mommy. I think many people have many of the same confessions. I have one myself. I let my 5 week old sleep in the bed with me sometimes because he tends to sleep better that way. I don't think that makes me a bad mother though. Nor does not changing our babies diaper right away make you a bad mommy.

Brenda - posted on 12/26/2009

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I'm not sure what all this fuss is about! My two kids stay in their PJs all weekend - and so do I - we love it!! Does that make us bad!! I think not - just chilled out, comfortable ppl:) As for my hubby, he does not mind seeing us in our PJs at all, he just goes and craws into his! Routine's important, but we sometimes need a break from it. As for cartoons, they're great for keeping kids happily occupied and SAFE!! we know they're not gonna hurt themselves while they're in front of the telly and we have some useful time to ourselves. So those of you fretting about any of this, my message is just CHILL ladies, your kids are fortunate to have caring ppl like you as parents; they'll grow up healthy and happy and God willing have happy kids of their own.

Anna - posted on 12/24/2009

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Bad Mums don't love their kiddies. Bad Mums don't care either way. They don't spend their time with them, don't cuddle them, have no good thing to say to them and about them, don't take them out at all, don't feed them properly, just stick them in front of telly, just shout, scream, smack, abuse, forget birthdays, never give presents or if any just out of guilt. Bad Mum will look at her child and feel nothing. Very Bad Mum will abandon, sell, give away, beat up, kill her baby. So what are we? Maybe just silly Mums sometimes, or tired Mamas or frustrated, but NOT BAD.

Helen - posted on 12/24/2009

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we all do stuff like that! no need to worry.x p.js are more convenient and comfortable ?(saves on washing too).dont feel bad about it,just enjoy having more time with your baby and the precious little time for yourself.

Valerie - posted on 12/24/2009

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lol I am guilty of allowing my 7 yr old to come sleep in my bed every night. He's so cuddly! I think I might take the bad-mom cake...I tell my kids as a threat that if they do not behave, I will sell them on EBAY! It works like a charm.

Christine - posted on 12/24/2009

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None of this makes you a bad mom! Heck I work from home and there are days that I wake up in my pjs and then find myself still in them by bed time!!

Kevlyn - posted on 12/23/2009

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You are NOT a baby mom!!! I have a 3 year old, a one year old and am due with baby number three in a few short weeks! We never get out of our pj's unless we have to go somewhere. In fact, right now one of my girls is wearing a shirt and a pull up and the other one is wearing just a diaper. I have never ever woke one of them up to change them if they are just wet. I let both of them fall asleep watching cartoons now, because it is just easier on me that way. If one of the kids is crying I ignore them unless they are hurt or they don't quit after a couple of minutes....When we take our baths everyday, we put clean pj's on instead of putting actual clothes on....On bad days I don't even brush our hair...and I fix microwave dinners for them to eat...Usually for there snacks they get some kind of fruit, but today I just gave them junk because we are out and i don't feel like going to the store. My husband knows I do all of this from time to time and he has been guilty of some of these things himself...I wouldn't worry about it, I think it is all part of being a mom. I don't feel one bit guilty as long as my kids are getting taken care of and are not being hurt or anything....

Jennifer - posted on 12/23/2009

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you are not a bad mom just a tired mom who is doing it all, taking care of baby, house and husband. Dont know whhat a boppy pillow is but if he sleeps better let him, there is nothing wrong with letting him dtay in his pjs until you give him a bath. Remember while taking care of everything else you need some 'me time'. after your husband gets home and has had his supper and bath ask him to watch the baby while you take a long relaxing bath this is good for you and for him, because then you are relaxed and can spend some time with him and enjoy it . After all he help make the baby he should help take care of him and also on the weekends if he isnt working at his job he can help clean around yours and his house. This information is coming from a 56 old woman who has been married for 35 years. good luck

Caitlin - posted on 12/23/2009

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None of this makes you a bad mom! I let my son cry and during naps I let him sleep where ever he falls asleep! He goes the entire night without a diaper change unless he decides to get up, and I stay in PJs all day, my son usually chills in a onesie. It's good to let them go, and soothe themselves, because otherwise they will depend on you to always soothe him, and it is always good to let them be able to fall asleep anywhere! Sometimes my husband and I even let him cry himself to sleep because we know he is so tired! It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job!

Tera - posted on 12/23/2009

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sweetie , you are not alone !! I do the same things but I usually dont get out of our pj's at all cuz my fiancee dont get home til after they already in bed .... I think it's normal but just not spoken about enough ...

Stephanie - posted on 12/23/2009

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you really think that makes you a bad mom? no way! where ever he sleeps best at, let him sleep there. waiting til he is really crying to pick him up is not a bad thing at all and i guarantee most moms out there have done it. as long as he isnt in a wet diaper so long it breaks him out in a rash, dont worry about it. i wouldnt even change just because hubby is coming home, let him see what your day home with baby really entails, a stay at home mom was the hardest job i ever had!! dont put yourself down, you are a great mom!!!

JoAnn - posted on 12/23/2009

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My babies are now 23 and 16 ---- none of your post makes you a bad mom! Being able to sleep in another location besides the crib will make it easier to travel with your son, and a wet diaper never killed anyone. Today's diapers do a great job wicking moisture away from the skin. And clothes -vs-PJs? No big deal. Enjoy & relax!

Barbara - posted on 12/23/2009

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You rock! I have had six. I know there are times that I was completely exhausted. You do what you can to just get through the day. My children are older now and I still need to "escape" while at home. I too didn't change my children's diapers each time they ate, or swab their umbilical cord with alcohol to help it fall off. There are times I still lock myself in a bathroom to get some quiet time and to regroup myself for the myriads of questions and requests. You need to do what you need to in order to keep your sanity, yet in a safe way, so that you're still aware of what is happening around you. Who ever said that being a mother was easy anyway? It's one of the toughest jobs, but has a lifelong reward.

Mel - posted on 12/22/2009

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oh sweetheart u sound like a great mummy who loves her son very much :) we too dont wake our daughter to change her during the night. even in hopital when she was fed all night via tube the hospital agreed it is best not to wake them so dont worry about that. let a sleeping baby sleep. My daughter and I also sometimes stay in our PJS all day :P

Serene - posted on 12/22/2009

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Boys love to snuggle. Theyre more cuddly than girls are. I want another boy but hubby says NO MORE BABIES!

Traci - posted on 12/22/2009

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ha ha ha you're funny!! When my daughter was young i read various things on how to get her to sleep through the night, and they all said, when she wakes to eat don't worry about changing her bum unless its poppy, then you disturb her less!! And once she was sleeping through the night no way was i waking her to changer her bum!! I just make sure she's dry when she goes down and put vaseline to protect her little bum!! I dont know what a boppy pillow is, but hey if the baby is safe and happy let them sleep where they like!! And no worries i live in my pj's its actually made me realize i need new ones!! lol. My confession when my daughter dumps her cheerios on the our floor i put them back in the bowl and let her keep eating!! I figure we don't where shoes in the house and i use vinegar and water to clean my floors so meh!! We toss them, she does it all the time!!!! lol

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I live in my PJ ever since I had my two little ones back to back.... I will take a shower and put clean PJS on... I don't think my house cares if I am all dressed or not. lol
My secret is on the days I really don't feel like doing anything I watch movies with my son so I can get some snuggle time in before he is to old to want to cuddle with mom.

Liz - posted on 12/21/2009

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That makes you normal, not a bad mom! Hell, atleast you get dressed...on my days off, if I'm staying home all day that day, i stay in my pjs! Dont see much point in putting on my "normal" clothes if hes just gonna spit up on me anyway lol. Before I went back to work though, I would get dressed at some point in the day, it helped me feel more normal again. I try to let my son cry until he is actually crying for a reason, but I'm not very good at that. And the boppy pillow is wonderful! my son prefers to sleep kinda on his side and its been a life saver! Cheer up sweetie :) none of that makes you anything close to a bad mommy!!

Cassie - posted on 12/21/2009

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your not a bad mom, i have 3 kids 7 6 and 6months.for the 1st 3months my baby sleep in the boppy pillow they do sleep better in it plus he was sleepin right next to me and it was easier.and the diaper thing u get good diapers u wont have to change him in the middle of the night.i right along with u.i work during the day and husband at night so when i come home at 5 i really just dont feel like doing anything i feel so bad too.i dont do more with my kids

Bekki - posted on 12/21/2009

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Hell i stay in my damn pj's all day .. i see absolutely no reason to waste clean clothes when no one is leaving the house.. if we have to leave.. we get dressed but if not.. my kids are more than happy to play in their comfy fluffy pj's

Nicole - posted on 12/21/2009

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I leave my son in his crib in the morning till either 8 or he starts really crying, whichever comes first. He's got toys in there he can play with. I also don't change his diaper till the morning. I can't stay in pjs all day, I have to get dressed. I feel sick if I don't get dressed. But I have left him in pjs all day if we're not going anywhere. I've also bumped his head more than once walking through doorways. But that wouldn't happen if he would hold on to me! But he loves me and as far as he's concerned, I'm the best mommy in the world!

Ghita - posted on 12/21/2009

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I have done those things and more. It is okay if you do that sometimes, but I hope not everyday. I feel much better when I can do normal things like bathe, get dressed, have a meal on time and exercise. It is like a vacation when I make myself go outside for a walk or just sit on the grass.

My son is 3 years old now and he acts like an adult, can talk, feed himself, etc., so I have more fun with him and since he is going to start school soon, I have to make sure he has a good routine and not be lazy.

Kalie - posted on 12/21/2009

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It the 'I need to be a perfect mom' phase. I thought I was doing everything wrong phase when my first was born. Now, I am a relaxed mom. Can't sweat the small stuff! Take it easy!

Serene - posted on 12/21/2009

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AS for the nappy, my DD gets a nappy on at 7pm before bed, then I change it at 6am when she wakes.

The boppy pillow? If he sleeps, that is a GOOD THING! Just watch him.

Your PJ's? So? I go up the street with wet splotches where my tits have leaked and my hair not done.


*hugs* Youre not a bad mum. Youre just like all of us!

Cristina - posted on 12/21/2009

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Lady, I think we all do things like that once in a while, you're not a bad mum, you're just tired.
I had asked my doctor if waking my son just to change the diaper was ok, she told my that as long as it's not poop let it go until he wakes, because you'll have a crying cranky baby til god knows what time, so, just be on top of diaper rashes try not to let it get to the point it happens, then you'll really hate yourself. Letting your baby sleep on the Boppy, on the other hand I wouldn't do it, it's safer to just let them take their nap on their crib or play yard. good luck.

Erin - posted on 12/21/2009

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there are some good destressing tips posted here, lol, if i manage to get out on my own for a school meeting or groceries, i like to take the long way home, drive around the block a couple of time with the music blaring before returning to my family

D. L. - posted on 12/21/2009

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Dear Mattee: First, and foremost....YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM! Doing what is necessary to keep your sanity, and the comfort of your child is first and foremost. You are meeting the needs of nature and that goes for yourself and your child. I have adult children and even though the recommendations [even back THEN, in the dark ages] were to not let the child sleep on the tummy...both mine not only ALWAYS slept on their tummy, but on a soft pillow, also! They lay on my lap on that same soft pillow whilst I patted or rubbed their backs for their comfort. As long as the little guy’s skin is not sensitive to staying in the wet diaper, you don't have to rush to change it the exact moment of wetting; especially if it doesn’t awaken him, LET HIM SLEEP! Otherwise, how will he learn [when the time comes] that potty-training is necessary because he doesn't like how wet he has become? We are all on a learning curve when it comes to children. After all, Dr. Seuss... NEVER HAD CHILDREN, so in essence, WE ARE the experts [not the so-called experts]! As for not dressing until hubby is meant to arrive...I say WHY NOT? I still do that, myself, all these years later. I hate to work in my clothes, as it restricts my movement while house cleaning. If I dress right before his arrival, I look fresh and not haggard from a day of hard work. I say, relax and do what you feel comfortable with for all your family needs...you, hubby and, of course the little guy! Kind regards, Denise L. Clair.

Christina - posted on 12/21/2009

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wow, That's alot to take in, no mother is perfect, not one bit, but as far as keeping him in his pjs all day, not a good idea, you want him to be on a routine, My boys and I would be lost without our routine. We get up, brush teeth, eat breakfast while watching sesame street, take baths, get dressed wether we're going outside or not, just like adults, if ou stay in your pjs all day, you're going to feel lazy.Then we do something wether it's doing crafts indoors, or going outside to the park or for a walk. You must get your kids out, they need the fresh air cold or hot, they need that for energy and it's healthy for their body in all aspects. I kinda have envy towards you because I have OCD and I can't choose to just be free minded,I must have a routine....

Brandi - posted on 12/21/2009

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Quoting Lauren:

I am also guilty of staying in my pjs all day and then quickly getting dressed just before my partner comes home so it looks like i've done something that day.
I let my daughter sleep in my bed sometimes when I am too tired to get up in the night with her.
I sometimes sit my daughter in her highchair and stick her infront of cartoons if I need to get something done!


Ha we all stay in our pjs all day and are STILL in them when my hubby gets home. Clean jammies are put on at bedtime lol.  I NEVER wake my kids if they are sleeping unless there's an emergency, and I let my kids up in their room during naptime (awake or asleep) until 3 o clock p.m. PERIOD. I need the quiet time with no distractions probably more than they do. I think being a mom (esp. a stay at home mom) is tough and so if we don't get dressed or the kids are required to sit quietly for a half hour or so, then so be it.

Miranda - posted on 12/21/2009

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I hardly ever put on a bra unless we are going somewhere or we are expecting someone over, but of course my kids are 4 and 8... ahh yep I can still be lazy!

Ana - posted on 12/21/2009

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My daughter is one month old and I don't even bother to put on anything other than pjs. She only likes to sleep on my chest so there are days I do not eat until noon. None of this makes you a bad mother because you are taking care of your child...they come first!

Maria - posted on 12/21/2009

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Quoting Mattee:

I'm a bad mom...

Not really a question, but more of a confession.... We all do things we know we shouldn't, but it's just more convienent at the time and now it's time to 'fess up! I'll start....

Sometimes I let my son nap in his boppy pillow; he sleeps better. I don't pick him up until he is really crying and I know he isn't just stirring and going to fall back to sleep. Sometimes in the middle of the night I will ignore a wet diaper until he wakes up because I don't want to wake him and have him not go back to sleep, and most days we stay in our PJ's til just before my hubby comes home because I don't want to look like we've been spit up on (peed on pooped etc..) all day. 



I don't tink you are a bad mum, just a bit silly and fearful of things that are infact normal.  It seems to me you have no confidence in yourself and that you are either scared of what your husband will do or say/ Surely he understands the messes a baby makes, why not try going out for walks with baby in the pram, get yourselves out, who cares about a bit of sick.......its normal and I should think you have a washing machine right!!!





 

Jennifer - posted on 12/21/2009

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lol, I've been in my pj's all day and haven't showered yet. I dressed my son and will bath him but meh, I'll just be dirty. Some day's we don't get out of our pj's either. Some nights when he wakes up I make sure he hasn't soaked through his diaper and just put him in the bed with me. We're tired, we're stressed and it's not easy. I feel bad sometimes too but whatever, everyone does it they just don't admit it!

Sandra - posted on 12/21/2009

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don't get me wrong, but when i see my baby's face and i know i'm the only person he can count on! well, if he can do it himself is up to you, but he can't, i right now i mean the world to him. i don't think you re bad, you are like many moms, we know you love your baby, and love to be lazy at the same time!

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i think we all go through sperts where we think we are bad moms.its a hard job!my kids are 10 m& 8.i home school them & never get a break so some days i may yell more than others.i may be so busy or tired that they have to remind me to fix lunch!and yes.....we stay in our pj's to!:)don't be so hard on yourself!everything will be ok!

Jessica - posted on 12/21/2009

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You aren't a bad mom. My daughter who is 11 months doesn't get her diaper changed in the middle of the night unless we were gone and come home, then i might but otherwise i wait till morning cause i know she will think that it is time to play. we moved a few months ago and the sleeping thru the night went out the window with the move she is now starting to sleep thru the nite but when she does wake my hubby will let her cry herslef to sleep. i sometimes will give her a bottle or pacifier then i go back to bed.When my daughter was born i slept on the couch for the first two months and she slept either on my chest or in the boppy pillow next to me. she hated laying flat since the day she was born. she finally got over it and slept in the bassinet but it also made me feel good to have right next to me at the time, since she was my first child.

None of this makes a bad mom, everyone rasies their kids differently and that is ok no one should raise their kids to other peoples standards. you are your own person and have your own thoughts.

Jodi - posted on 12/21/2009

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I hear ya! I put a mattress on the floor of our playroom so that when my daughter wakes up at 4 am I bring her in there, let her play while I sleep!!!! I also confess to having dozed off on the couch several times while she played on the floor. I also have "snack days", these are days that I REALLY don't feel like cooking and there are no left overs to choose from. So we snack, crackers, puffs, dry cereal, fruit bits. I get one good meal in, but we snack most of those days. We all do what we have to do to get through each of the 7 days of the week! That doesn't make us bad moms as long as we're not beating or neglecting our children!!!

KC - posted on 12/21/2009

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You don't wake your little man up for a change if he pees... but I've stopped changing her poop until we're up for the morning. I just need my sleep too much. Sometimes that means she sleeps in poop for like three hours! She's two and a half months, and right now if she's going to sleep, I'm going to let her. Poop washes off. I spent most of the first month and a half feeling like a bad mom, until I got on here and realized that "perfect" and "on top of things" wasn't even "normal." Now I just know that to my daughter, I am the best mom ever, and I love her enough to make that be true. Part of that means being real so she has the freedom to do the same later.

Jacci - posted on 12/21/2009

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MM IT COULD JUST BE A PHASE... I WENT THROUGH A PHASE WITH MY OLDEST BUB WHEN I WOULD JUST LAZE AROUND DO NOTHING...NOT BRUSH MY HAIR,..STAY IN PJS ALL DAY.... AND MOPE AROUND THE HOUSE.... BUT IT ONLY LASTED A FEW MONTHS..... YOU COULD BE DOING THIS COS YOUR FEELING A LITTLE DEPRESSED... I KNOW THATS WHAT MY PROBLEM WAS... I KNOW ITS ALLOOTT OF EFFORT AND ITS HARD TO START BUT TRY TAKE BUB FOR A WALK EVEN IF ITS EVERY 2ND DAY COS WHEN YOU FINISH IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEELLL SOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER.... ITS JUST HARD TO START THATS ALL.... AND YOUR NOT A BAD MUM FOR LEAVING HIM IN HIS BOPPY PILLOW AS LONG AS YOUR AROUND NOTHING WILL GO WRONG..... AND MY YOUNGEST (ALMOST 3MONTHS) I CANT BE BOTHERED HOPING OUT OF BED IN THE MDIDLE OF THE NIGHT TO CHANGE HER NAPPY... SO I CHANGE HER ABOUT 10PM.... THEN NOT AGAIN TILL 630 AM... SO I AM JUST AS BAD......

Jessica - posted on 12/21/2009

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Theres now reason to say your a bad mom, Im the same way..as far as the diaper goes if its not bothering your baby let it be....thats exactly what I do! And theres no reason to get dress just to sit in the house all day all that does is create even more laundry for you to find time to do! And the whole boppy pillow thing my son sleeps on his stomach every time and as been since he was 2 weeks old

Anne-Marie - posted on 12/21/2009

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isaty in my pj's all day, i dont even get dressed when my partner comes home. y dity more clothes then you need to? i only generaly get dressed if i am going out or have people coming over. i am in my own hme nad have the right to feel comfpratble especialy when doing the house work

my son doesnt get a nappy change during the night if he is sleeping unless it is a poo...you are not a bad mum...

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I dont even get dressed inless Im going somewhere. why dirty up clothes that are going to get spit up on and pee and all other kinds of stuff on them. we have enough laundry to do as it is. And letting your baby sleep on his boppy where he is comfy, Hey if he sleeps better do it. The diaper thing dont stress over it. If he isnt wet all the way through then im sure he is fine. If he was not wanting the wet daiper on he would cry Im sure.

Patti - posted on 12/21/2009

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i read your post.. i dont get why you think your a bad mom.. so what if you guys spend the day in your pjs? lol. sounds kinda awesome and comfortable!! i actually wish i would do that sometimes but im kinda eccentric haha

Suhail - posted on 12/21/2009

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I have learned in this little bit of time that Hallie has been with me and my husband Mike, that there is no such thing as a "bad mom". We all do our own thing, we do receive a lot of advice from people that have been there before us, and guess what? All babies are different! ... and so are all the mommies. You are the kind of mother your child needs ... you love him and that's what's important. Let him sleep here or there ... why does it matter? As long as he is sleeping, right? ...

Ashley - posted on 12/21/2009

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In the beginning I was guilty of all that as well! My worst crime, letting my son sleep on the floor with the cat :P but he loved it and I would curl up on the couch over the blanket to keep an "ear" on him. We still stay in jammies all day and I don't bother anymore to hide it from my boyfriend since as soon as he comes home he is in his jammies too! I am all for sleeping however you can get it.

Chelsea - posted on 12/21/2009

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i agree with everything everone else is saying, i think every mom does at least one of those things at least once a week , its only normal and we do have to stay sane some how.

Alina - posted on 12/21/2009

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i have 7 kids and one on the way. i do all this and sometimes they even eat corn dogs for two dinners in a row! just because im too tired to cook for real! for the most part we do things to pick our battles. i NEVER woke my kids for a wet diaper. if they were so soaked they were floating, thats different but just wet, so what? they will live. i have also breast fed in bed, slept with my kids, and sometimes when im really tired i put tv on for the kids and lay in bed while they watch tv! (the playroom is right next to my room and i can see right in the doorway from my bed) and on top of all this, sometimes i even let my 2 year old play by himself while i watch from a distance! he does fine and will learn a lot from this i know, but i still feel guilty about it at times. i have even been teaching the older ones to do the chores i hate the most so i dont have to do everything. your not a bad mom, you are just improvising! we all do it if we are still sane....lol!

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