I'm a Fl resident, pregnant, and I know but

Izzee - posted on 09/12/2012 ( 72 moms have responded )

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I'm a Fl resident, pregnant, and I know but "don't know" who the father is for assistance purposes. Should I get married before or after I have the baby and will it be ok to put him on the Birth certificate at the time of birth or will they not cover my medical expenses with Medicaid? He is very eager to be recognized for our first baby and I don't want to deny him that right, but I also know how much I am struggling, I don't want the state to go after him for expenses and child support.

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Dove - posted on 09/12/2012

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If it gets found out that you are lying about the baby's paternity.... you will lose benefits and have to pay back whatever you've received already. Be honest and upfront from the beginning. It's less stressful that way.

Tracie - posted on 09/13/2012

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I'm very confused. You want the real father in your child's life and on the birth certificate, but you don't want him to have to pay for that privilege? You think everyone else should pay up so he can have a responsibility-free fatherhood? You want to marry this man, but you are going to be a single mom?



If you want to have a baby and you know who the father is, the TWO OF YOU are responsible for paying to raise/care for the child. If together you are still unable to care for the child, there are assistance programs. But I have a major ethical dilemma with your lying to get money from the state that some other woman whose husband died or left her can't get because you've taken it.



I'm sorry to say, but people like you are the reason why so many politicians want to do away with these programs altogether. By lying, you are hurting the honest ones. Something for you to think about as you bring another life into the world.

Michelle - posted on 09/13/2012

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I also live in FL, medicaid will cover your child for one year unless you comply with child support enforcement, if no father is found by the childs first birthday all benifits, afdc, food stps, and medicaid will stop. My daughter was raped and was too embarrassed to tell anyone, we found out about her pregnancy three weeks before my grandson was born. Unfortunately this is the info we recieved from dcf, he is 6mo. Old now and in six more months she is on her own, she will be elligible for cheap medical insurance for him through florida kid care, so there is still a ray of hope. If you do choose to get married prior to the birth of your child, you may still qualify for aid as a family, you can add your combined incomes and google my florida . Com check with do I qualify, to check annual income for a family of three. His name would automatically on the birth cert. when baby is born. If you are unwed when baby is born you are unable to put daddys name on the cert. they tell you it stays blank until you have dna test done, then they add it on later for free. I went through that seven years ago with my son and I was 100% sure my fiancee was the father. Don't forget to go to WIC and get extra help now during your pregnancy. Take care and good luck on your new arrival.

Stephanie - posted on 09/14/2012

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So, you're asking us for advice on how to defraud our state so we can pay for your child to be born not the father and you who are both responsible? I too am a Florida resident, I had to beg, borrow and budget to pay for my children's births beyond what insurance paid. My DH (not married when our kids were born) would have NEVER stod for being left off the BC to defraud the state. You realize if you get caught, and you can quite easily, if he's been living with you, going to appointments, attends the birth, etc that is evidence you were well aware who the daddy of your child is, you will be charged. Wow. I'm sorry, I have had it really tight financially but because of my honesty I have not qualified for ANYTHING. I hope you do the right thing, if you don't I hope you get caught.

Angelica - posted on 09/12/2012

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I dont know about Florida but in NY if you are receiving assistance and do not comply with the office of child support then you are sanctioned. If you are unsure which person is the father, tell them that. It is irresponsible for you to avoid with complying. If you are asking for help from the state then they have the right to go after the person who is legally responsible for supporting the child. If that man is going to be there, he will support you and he baby regardless but if he never intended showing any responsiblity then he will not be there. A real.man and father wants to be there and does not need to be forced to support his children.

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Jana - posted on 10/24/2012

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Thats trifling. That would be so irresponsible of you to withold that from this man.

Janice - posted on 10/24/2012

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Here in West Virginia, father or no father on BC doesn't matter if your only receiving Medicaid, that's not income their giving you so they won't go after anyone for child support! If you are receiving any other assistance you would just need to let welfare know if the baby daddy is giving you any type of money ( cash or for any bills) and they would count that as his support and not enforce child support, but it would also count as part of your income and would lower your assistance! Also if your in a relationship married or not you have to legally put them on your case at welfare! Bottom line go to welfare and explain your situation ( the honest truth) and I'm sure they will help you figure it out to suit your family's needs! And if you still need help ask welfare about other programs in your local area that offer other assistance! We have tons of places like that here! Hope this helps, God bless

Julie - posted on 10/08/2012

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Please consider giving the baby up for adoption. It sounds as if you are not in a position to have a child at this point in your life.

Ashley - posted on 10/05/2012

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If you get caught lying, you could go to jail and or have to pay everything back.if you put him on the birth certificate they will know. I dont know about florida but in misdourithey dont really force u to ho for child support unless you get cash assistance, and even then you can tell them you dont want to and they will keep 25% of what you should get every month. But if you accept any money from him after thst, you have to turn it in to child support. If you say you dont know the father, they will have you list everone you slept with in a certain period of time and do dna tests. So you should be honest with them abd not get cash assistance, just medicaid and food stamps if needed.

User - posted on 10/03/2012

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First of all, you can get married before or after the baby is born. If you get married before the baby is born, his name automatically goes on the birth certificate. That would probably be the easiest way to go. If you want to know for sure after the baby is born, you can do a DNA to find out, but if you are married, it would not change who is on the birth certificate. My oldest daughter was date raped. She did not put the father's name on the birth certificate, even though she knew who it was. The father has to be present and sign his name to the original birth certificate, at least here in Arizona. When she went to court for child support, they told her his name had to be added to his birth certificate, but the original copy she received when he was born does not have his name on it. I do not think she received a new 'corrected' one. He never showed up in court because he has been in prison for doing the same thing to other girls that he did to my daughter. As far as we know, my daughter was the only one that got pregnant. Other girls were younger than my daughter, she was 16.



If you are married, the state will not go after him for expenses or child support, I do not believe. Once you are on assistance for pregnancy, I do not think they will remove you until after the baby is born, unless you marry someone with a lot of money! I am sure things will be okay. Just be honest with the system and do what you feel is right in your heart. When I got pregnant, I married someone else, and his name was put on my daughter's birth certificate, even though I knew who the real father was. Then I did not hear from him for almost 10 years!

Yvette - posted on 10/03/2012

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Be Honest and tell Medical that you dont know. When the baby is born they can do a paternity test.

If you choose to get married prior to the birth does that may decrease your benefits you can speak to a worker regarding this. Also if you wait untill the baby is born you can put Father withheld on the birth Certificate and then after the paternity test have the correct fathers name added or have the desired father adopt the child.

Hope this helps, best of luck to you.

Candace - posted on 09/20/2012

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This is my 3rd post on this thread & I've seen some very unpleasant remarks. I don't agree with "working" the system, however, when I see a post that says "If you can't afford a child, then you shouldn't have them" it makes me furious. I've been told that many times. Some people need assistance, some people didn't need it & fell on hard times & do need it at some point. From what I understand Izzee does work, doesn't make much money with more than one job & doesn't understand the system. Some children are accidental pregnancies, but that doesn't mean they are no less of a blessing than a planned child. Some of us don't believe in abortion & adoption is a very tough decision that many women can't live with either. I've previously told my own story a few pages back...twice. Truth is we need not judge, we can inform & support her. Teach her what the best thing to do is. Honesty is the best option or it will come back on you. Tell them who the 2 prospective fathers are & they will do a DNA test. Even though the father might not pay, they will pursue it anyway & any money he gets, you will get some. My son's father owes over $80,000 (he's 14) and my ex, the father of my 2 girls owes over $20,000 & his payments are only $214 a month for both. She might not get it, but he is still responsible for it. I wish you the best of luck Izzee, I hope you do the right thing & be honest & good things will be in your future.

Lauren - posted on 09/20/2012

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Well despite his avoidance right now in paying, I would never not have put his name on the birth certificate. He can dodge payments & play the system to avoid getting caught, I am fairly certain it will catch up to him eventually. At some point he will want to settle down with a responsible woman & try to get a house & won't be able to or maybe I'll annoy the state enough with my repeated calls that they'll finally go arrest him & drag him into court. I'm not giving up yet because he will learn to take responsibility & pay.

A - posted on 09/20/2012

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Her first line is I know but "don't know" who the father is for assistance purposes. That sentence to menus very telling about fraudulence

Nicole - posted on 09/20/2012

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I specifically find one line in your post very telling, Lauren: "If you can't afford to care for them, you should turn over custody to me." ... does anybody else find that utterly chilling? This is the second time I've read something similar on here (another girl on here is trying to decide if she should put the father's name on the birth certificate,) and it makes me wonder if some of the moms who have unequivocally answered with a huge "NO!," might be right.

Lauren - posted on 09/19/2012

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From what I've read, what I got out of her comments was that there are two potential fathers & it sounds like one of them (who she is pretty sure is the Dad) may participate in the kid's life. It doesn't sound like he's thrilled cause it sounds like they broke up or almost broke up so that's why she was with the other guy, or maybe he's pissed about the other guy. We don't exactly have all the information to work with. It sounds like both are either not interested in supporting financially or maybe they're so bad with their own finances, she KNOWS she will never get a dime so she's preparing to do this alone financially. What I've seen here she was worried that listing the dad would make her ineligible for Medicaid because she doesn't know how the system works. If they're fighting & the guy is not going to support the child financially, then I doubt they're living together or if they are, maybe he's staying at his parents a lot or something. Again you do not know. I did NOT see anywhere though that she said she refuses to tell them about the dad. From what I see she's asking for advice & we've overwhelmingly said be truthful. So there's no reason to come down on her for "defrauding the system."



Nicole, I know what you mean. I have a court order for child support but my children's father hasn't paid on a consistent basis for the last four years. He owes me almost $20K. The only thing they've done is threaten to suspend his drivers license. I've asked him to pay multiple times, he just dodges questions. I begged him for money for back to school clothes & he just said if you can't afford to take care of them you should turn custody over to me. Trust me I know what you're saying, but by that same token, guys like this is why some women think its not worth pursuing child support because they know they'll never get it. For me, luckily I forwarded my paper work to the state. They routinely check the DOL to see if his SSN shows up on a W4 & they can put in a wage garnishment, they report past due balance to his credit, they run his SSN against checking accounts in major banks to freeze any accounts & intercept his tax returns. They also keep track of the past due balance. The problem is he learned how to avoid the system. Bounces from job to job, never files a tax return, always cashes his checks & never applies for anything that requires good credit. Anything to avoid paying. If I found a way to have the federal government go after him, I would.

A - posted on 09/19/2012

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The problem is she is not planning on reporting the father (who wants to be involved) so she can get more from the government. She may still get help even if reporting the father but not reporting him it is defrauding the gov.

Nicole - posted on 09/19/2012

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Lauren: Absolutely. I may've come off a bit harsh in my own response, but I do believe in taking personal responsibility, (and enforcing personal responsibility on men,) but you're absolutely, ABSOLUTELY right. Not everyone is ... well, I want to use the word, fit, but that's not what I mean... not everyone agrees? is capable? desires? a monogamous relationship. There's nothing wrong with that. Who are we to judge people for having more than one partner? I know more than a few friends who are in common-law marriages, raising children together who are (the mom & dad) not monogamous, the children, their kids are well-adjusted, happy, healthy... my point was that men, too often get away with not paying / not caring for / not contributing to the welfare of their offspring. After that it seemed like things degraded into a "blame game" of slut shaming. Slut shaming is *not* cool. Everyone wants to have sex, but taking personal responsibility isn't as cut and dried as people would like it to be.

Lauren - posted on 09/19/2012

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I can't believe the comments on this thread. The commenter that said so many are eager to judge & say why they're so much better than this woman was correct. When you're busy bashing someone & talking about why you don't approve of their choices, you are in fact saying I am better than you & this is why. When did life become such a contest that we're always so busy analyzing whether we're better than the person next to us? When did it become OK to stomp on a person that's already down? Unfortunately it's become all too common lately. How can you ever possibly tell your children not to engage in cyber bullying when you make comments like this? She is not defrauding the system. I personally believe she would most likely qualify even reporting the father. I qualified because I bought my own food when I lived with my children's Dad. We worked opposite shifts & very rarely ate "meals" together & we split the rent equally & utilities. Based on this I was considered my own family. I currently have an unemployed friend staying with me. We buy food separately & she gets food stamps as her own family, her & her daughter. You can live with someone but still be considered to be independent from the other. This is why I said in my comment that she should just disclose everything that Social Services asks because you will most likely still qualify. And those people who said if you can't afford kids, you shouldn't have them are ignorant. Personally for me, neither child was planned. In fact with my son I had taken my entire pack of BC pills all month, on time every day & still got pregnant. I even got pregnant again after having my tubes tied. You can't take all necessary precautions. If its meant to be, it will find a way. But just because I needed help didn't mean I would ever contemplate aborting my child. And once they were born & I became unemployed this past year with a 9 & 7 year old, what then? Should I give them up for adoption because I couldn't afford to feed them on my own? No! I received assistance & pounded the pavement in search of a new job, which I finally found last week! I used the help to get back on my feet. Despite what people may think, MOST people are embarrassed to have to ask for the help & thankful when they get back on their feet & are NOT looking for lifetime hand outs. There may be a few bad apples out there, but they are by no means the majority. My new job is helping homeowners with a Bank of America mortgage voluntarily turn the house back over to the bank to avoid a lengthy foreclosure process. My company is hiring like crazy right now because they can't keep up with the new files (as many as 40-50 new files per day) coming in to be processed. All these poor customers I've been talking to have been looking for a new job for anywhere between 1-3 years right now. It's a tough economy right now. The key is that when I talk to these people I'm helping them & understanding & above all NOT judging. Things happen & it is beyond their control, but I would never kick these people when they're already down. I tell them that being down means that the only place to go now is up so things are bound to turn around for them! If more people were more concerned with helping their neighbor rather than trampling over them, maybe this world would be a more peaceful place.

Delta - posted on 09/19/2012

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I thought like you for a long time about not wanting child support but dam girl you didn't get like that by yourself so except the help...find out who the real father is and put him on the bc don't do like i did and have to go to court and let the judge decide who the father is...my deal was my baby daddy was married and i didn't want to ruin his marriage...put the true father on it...adoption is an option if the man really wants to be its dad...

Marta - posted on 09/17/2012

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You say that you are willing to take care of raising the baby yourself, but in the same message it is clear that you are leaving the father off the birth certificate in order to get state aid. So in reality the tax payers are picking up the slack. Too many babies are being raised by single mothers while the father's go their merry way scot free. It's not right. Whoever is the father needs to help support the baby, or you need to actually follow through and raise the baby by yourself-it may be a struggle, but most new 2 parent households are also struggling, so you are not alone & the father needs to pay as well as spending time with his child. I suspect that if you are struggling as you say, that you are already eligible for Medicaid, so your prenatal care will be covered & most states have insurance for kids up to age 18, so you should have the medical care you need without scamming the state. Unless the father makes too much money & if that is the case then let him pay his fair share or put you and the baby on his insurance. Marta

Leah - posted on 09/16/2012

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Are you serious? Did you really just post a "I slept with more than 1 man, but the real problem is how I keep my welfare" post?? I'm disgusted. Next time follow this simple rule: 1 partner per period cycle. It's actually not that hard, but then again I've been with my husband for 11 years, so I am clearly out of touch. Don't marry anyone, regardless of what you want on the birth certificate. If you are going to sleep with someone else during a rough patch, you aren't ready for marriage. I thought this board was for moms to ask other moms questions about having and raising children, not Welfare Support Q&A. Call your social worker...oh wait that's right you're soooo worried about losing your support. Ooops, have to go. I have to go to WORK now.

Justkatiec - posted on 09/16/2012

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I am struggling with this. I know having a child is expensive, but find it difficult to hear someone say they are too afraid of listing the father on a birth certificate for fear that the state may take away Medicaid assistance and they may have to pay for their own child. Accountability is also part of parenting and I am unsure how to best advise you on this. It sounds as though you're more concerned about losing the benefit of someone else paying for your choices.

Melodie - posted on 09/15/2012

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Even if you are married, medicaid will be there if y'all don't have the insurance for you and if you are low income. Not putting the father on everything is just wrong.

Nicole - posted on 09/15/2012

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Izee- the issue isn't whether or not you *want* to financially be responsible solely for this child. If you're getting / wanting to get help from the state, you're morally obligated to follow up with the father, in order for him to do the responsible thing and pay for some portion, (no matter how small) of the child's care. If you "know" who the baby-daddy is... get a paternity test to confirm, regardless of how SURE you are. For your own piece of mind, for his and for your future child's piece of mind as well. You've chosen, after getting pregnant to keep this child. You've chosen after deciding to keep this child that you'll get Medicaid. Those were decisions you made, because you needed to make them for your well being and the well being of this child. What exactly is the issue you have with the child's father paying child support? Get a paternity test, in FL they will do them for free, from what others have said in their responses, then move forward from there. It might not be as big a deal these days, but branding your child a "bastard" could have life-long effects on their emotional well-being. Be an adult. Do what's right. Be honest, not to a fault, but with as much as you can be, and make your child's father take responsibility for his PENIS.

A - posted on 09/15/2012

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But the problem is she isn't getting assistance because even with the fathers help she can't make ends meet that I would get she's getting it without trying to have the dad help financially. And before u say anything about ur situation (which I understand and empathize) she hasn't said anything bad about the father so to me that's ripping off the system

Dove - posted on 09/15/2012

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Not every kid on assistance has a horrid life.



What good does to it do tell this woman that she shouldn't have kids (or have sex with more than one man in a time frame) when the kid is already coming?



Yes, advising abstinence, better birth control, and sex with only one man can be advised for the FUTURE.... but THIS kid is already coming. :)

Amanda - posted on 09/15/2012

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Abortion, not necessarily, birth control, abstinence there are ways to not get pregnant, and everyone says think of the child-what kind of life will this child have, one filled with struggle, one where his mother and possible father will not be able to provide for him, and continue to struggle and ask for assistance perpetuating the cycle.

Michelle - posted on 09/15/2012

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You don't have a choice is you still want state services. They automatically go after the father for child support. If you don't tell them what you know then the services end. Its much better from the statement you're struggling to get the services then struggle more! Your child should come first!!!

Dana - posted on 09/15/2012

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I'm with Deborah!!! You want the free medical coverage... and you want the probable father to have the benefit of being named on the certificate. and so the people paying for the medical coverage... what is it that THEY are getting exactly??

Amanda - posted on 09/15/2012

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Im so glad that the US government and I (by virtue of the taxes I pay) can pay for you and your child. If you can't afford to have children, then maybe you shouldn't.

Dionne - posted on 09/14/2012

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Since you aren't married the fathers name will remain blank until the state makes the alleged fathers take a paternity test. They will then add the name. The state will then go after the father for child support to pay for the Medicaid given to the child and to you during your pregnancy. You wil become inelligible to continue receiving Medicaid after your postpartum check up. Your child will continue receiving until the father does. If the father can't provide insurance the child can still receive. If you were to get married, your husbands name would automatically be added to the certificate. However if there is any uncertainty you should just wait for the state to do its job.

Dove - posted on 09/14/2012

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And did you 'join' COM just to talk privately with this woman?



Sounds suspicious to me, but then again.... I like conspiracy theories. ;)

Dove - posted on 09/14/2012

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Sorry... I just read where the 'reason' she hasn't responded here is that she works two jobs 12 hours a day.... yet somehow she managed to have enough time to message with you what 'appears' to be quite a bit.

Dove - posted on 09/14/2012

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Well perhaps if she would come back to the post instead of privately talking to some random person.... We would know the 'truth' Shame on people for going off of the information provided. @@



If...'I'm a Fl resident, pregnant, and I know but "don't know" who the father is for assistance purposes.' and 'He is very eager to be recognized for our first baby and I don't want to deny him that right, but I also know how much I am struggling, I don't want the state to go after him for expenses and child support.' is what WE are being told.... exactly what other way is their for us to interpret it. Sure as heck sounds to ME like she has every intention of lying to the government....

Lalea - posted on 09/14/2012

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ok, I get it and to those that don't I'm sorry your so confused. You are clearly doing this alone and unfortunately you are one of the few who truly need help and hesitate to ask because so many other take advantage of the system that you are backed into a corner to find a way to help your family and baby. Many of the commentators are reading WAY to far into this, it's not about the paternity its about the father being the man who is going to take responsibility for both of you. Since I have since spoken to you privately, I can clarify this woman DOES have an education, DOES work hard unfortunately, we all make mistakes and sometimes no matter how CAREFUL someone is ( BC CONDOMS ETC) life has a way of throwing you curve balls. What is wrong is that most of the woman who commented are those who feel that they are better than her in some way and have judged her without knowing her. Darlin' you're fine. I KNOW you were honest with the situation and while most people speak about getting assistance, majority of those that criticize most likely are expecting mommy and daddy to pay for it and bail them out. You have no one but yourself and you deserve assistance and like you have told me its TEMPORARY!!! It s a long haul up that road but at least you're humble about it. Don't let people judge you, they are not God and you are not lying about anything. Again, woman who are frustrated with their own struggles tend to be over analytical and, again READ WAY TO FAR into situations. It's all about perception. The fact that this young woman should not have been able to carry a child due to trauma from abuse in the past, speaks volumes that God has blessed her with a new strength in life. And if this man loves her it is up to no one else when they marry or how soon, survival of the fittest. It's funny we are so against our own American woman getting assistance, when we let others procreate for sport ( outsiders/non-citizens) and take advantage of the hard workers of this country. I have seen this first hand working registration in a hospital clinic. They have "bling" and gold and a Lexus, but they don't know their name, no ssn, no address, and need 'help---oh did I forget the touch screen phones? Pathetic, and then woman like her and others in this thread (not all) who have done exactly what was drilled into their heads, have a degree or a few of them ( like her) but now they cost too much to employ so they struggle while the foreigners get hired to do what they should for half the salary. "over qualified with not enough experience" its a sad pill to swallow. So before you bash someone and jump you should, like I did, take the time to get to know the person privately, and the only reason why she hasn't responded is because she works 12 hours a day and 2 jobs. Put that into you bag of pacifiers and be a bit more tactful ladies, it could happen to your own one day.

A - posted on 09/14/2012

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Not true, in my case I wasnt married to my sons father and they took his income into account. But this poster wants to defraud the system in case the state wants to go after the father by not telling te state who he is. That's wrong

Brianna - posted on 09/14/2012

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I was not married when I had my daughter...both of us together made too much money for state assistance so I thought we wouldn't be able to go tht route but it turns out if your "single" not married it doesn't matter if you know who the father is or not you're covered and all I provided was his name and then it was based on my income...they had an option for them to pursue child support but I just put no and all was good.. His name on the birth certificate and everything...as long as you're not married it's all based on the mother..

Janessa - posted on 09/14/2012

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I say be honest too, honesty carries you much further. It all works out in the end, and it is a lot less stressful.

Candace - posted on 09/14/2012

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I posted earlier regarding my situation too. I want to make it clear that there are a lot of us on welfare or were on it that truly need(ed) it. It is people that "work" the system that make it harder on those of us that work very hard & are always honest. I needed to get back on my feet & without the help, I could not have survived. I barely make it now, with a degree & a long time career, but the money just isn't here & have worked since I was 16!! Only missing work for 4 months after each child. And I was only off that long because a career change & I was a temp with my first & made a total of $9,000 that year living in the highest taxed with most poverty city in TX, the second child my company closed down while on leave & my third I moved.



If so many people didn't cheat the system & Fathers (including my children's) would pay there child support, and Mothers worked too realizing that you can't stay home if you're too poor to buy food on your own, then the taxpayers, including myself, could boost up & help more people get to a higher level of living. Then instead of a crutch, it would be a step. I agree with those that are angry at you for cheating the system, it makes me angry. I have always been completely honest, one time not qualifying because I made $ 0.11, yes that's 11 cents too much to qualify! I pay my taxes, I work hard & I filed Child support. The kid's welfare should always come before your own wants, needs & his. Not to mention it is very embarrassing to have to use food stamps & a medicaid card. It gives you a sense of pride once you have been there, to pay for your own food & give the Dr's a real insurance card. I am not bashing anyone on it that is legit, but at least try to make it without help first & keep trying with help & not depend on the people of your state to pay for your kids without you or the father making any effort at all!

Carolyn - posted on 09/14/2012

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Wow I can't believe you're asking for advice on how to work the system. I don't think it's the tax payers responsibility to cover the expenses either. Your boyfriend should man up and take responsibility...it's this kind of abuse of the system that has us in such debt

Candace - posted on 09/14/2012

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If you don't put his name on the birth certificate then later down the line he will end up having to pay for a DNA test anyway. You won't be denied medicaid unless you & him both make a lot of money. They will eventually make you tell them everyone you have slept with to pursue child support & do DNA tests anyway..(unless you give them his name only & again he will then have to pay & that is expensive). They also will not go after him for child support right away, you have time to get married or decide what you want to do. I would suggest that you just be honest, or it will all come back to haunt you!! I promise, I've seen it happen. I was on public assistance & know the process, but I was always open & honest & told them who the father was, etc. Eventually I no longer needed it.



My situation was different as I married at 18 to an older man (27) who was incarcerated only 3 weeks after the marriage & I later had 2 children with my now ex before I was divorced, (my "husband" became a Minister & would not grant it to me, he was diabetic & had a blackout that got him in trouble, not even bad, however... I could not afford a lawyer.)



I later needed assistance again & turned out that the government had to do a DNA test because I was married to someone else, even though I did not see him in years. My ex had to pay for that even before we were separated. There was no child support established at the time & it was a huge mess.



Everything is good now, although my ex doesn't pay his $214 a month for 2 children, but it's only good because I was honest the whole time. I have always worked, never stopped except for the 1st 4 months after my children were born. I still needed help periodically & I still qualified, they will still help you if you are willing to help yourself. As a father, he should help with the child or he's not work keeping around & worth filing child support on him. I don't think you actually realize how hard this is going to be. I had my first at age 20, still qualified for medicaid..YOU NEED HIS HELP, YOU need to be responsible too... not just the taxpayers! It only puts you on a financial treadmill & you want more for your child than a welfare life.

A - posted on 09/14/2012

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In pa when my son was born his father and were not married yet. I put his dads name on the birth certificate. Even doing that the state didn't go after him for child support and we were eligible for assistance they just took both of our incomes into account. But what ticks me off is you dont want the father to pay child support but you want tax payers too? Way to rip off the system. If you "don't know" who the dad is for assistance purposes tells me you do but you dont want the birth father to have to pay why is the question.

Sherry - posted on 09/14/2012

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You should put him on the birth certificate when the baby is born. Dont wait! Its too much of a hassle if you wait. And his name being on the birth certificate will not stop you from getting on medicaid.

Jeanette - posted on 09/14/2012

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Let me see if I understand you correctly. You want the state (your neighbors and other people in the community) to pay for your baby and his/her growing up expenses instead of the baby's father? That is irresponsible and one of the reasons our country is in so much trouble. People are so irresponsible. The father should be helping to support his child. Then if your combined means is not enough and you need some extra help, then you go to outside sources.

Holly - posted on 09/14/2012

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Well right now it doesn't matter who the father is. You aren't married. They aren't living with you I assume. So right now it's a moot point. Now once the baby is born things change, the father then becomes responsible for the child. Not you still but the child. You more than likely will have to get a paternity test on both of the men and the rightful father put on the birth certificate. The rightful father will have to pay child support if you guys aren't married of course. Otherwise this is just fraud and if they figure it out you will lose all benefits and could possible have to pay back all assistance you received because of the fraud.



Call your social worker and talk to them. Social service rules vary greatly by state. Some won't even let you put the father on the BC without a paternity test in the first place while others if you are married the husband is automatically put on the birth certificate even if you say it isn't their child and you have to prove with a paternity test that it is someone else's. Things vary and greatly. But the biggest point I'm trying to make is ignorance is no excuse for the law. If you do anything to defraud the system, that is already over extended, things could end badly for you.

Heather - posted on 09/13/2012

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I live in South FL, when I was pregnant with my son I was living with his father. I told the state the truth and me and my son are both on Medicaid to this day and my son will be 3 in December. His father is on his Birth Certificate and my son even has his father's last name. Just tell the truth.



Oh and FL will pay for a DNA test if there is any question of who is the father.

Stacey - posted on 09/13/2012

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First of all, get a paternity test, then have the appropriate father pay his child support. Why is it ok with you not to have the Childrens fathers pay but it is ok for the rest of us taxpayers to pay to take care of your children??? You should stop having children you can't afford without assistance, get in school and support yourselves since you don't care to make the fathers responsible. The medicaid system is for people who should be trying to better themselves and get off assistance, not to stay on long term because you may hurt your child's dad by making him get a job and help you out.

Shea' - posted on 09/13/2012

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Couple of things on your post.one it seems as if you are leavig out details in order to just find a quick response. But 1. If you falsely and knowingly complete an acknowledgement of paternity with someone else's name as the father that is not only illegal but it is ethically and morally wrong just to try and get government assistance. It's considered purgery and you could lose assistance current and be denied future aid and have to pay restitution to the government(which means pay the money back). You don't have to be married to list the father on the birth certificate. When you go to apply for assistance they are going to ask you for the fathers name, date of birth social, license plate number and whether or not he is paying child support if you say no THEY will get it anyway. The government doesn't want to pay for someone else's kids before the paternal parent takes responsibility. They won't just say oh well u see this is a two parent household with income but heres some assistance anyway. It doesn't work like that.

Lauren - posted on 09/13/2012

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I don't know how it works in FL, but with my daughter (when I was pregnant with her where I live in CT) I was only 20 & making only $10/hr with a temp job that had no benefits. Her dad lived with me & only made about $12/hr as a stock boy & he wasn't full time so didn't get benefits either. Since we weren't married, legally I was a family of 2 (me & the baby in my belly). I told the state who he was & what he made, but he wasn't legally obligated to stay with me & support me so they never considered his income, nor did either one of us have the option at our employers to get health insurance. I was covered by Medicaid through the whole pregnancy & up to 3 months after for follow up care & my daughter was immediately placed on Medicaid following birth for all her pediatrician visits. After recovering I was able to get a better job that offered health care (something no one would offer me while I was pregnant because they didn't want to pay for maternity leave so soon after being hired). Her father signed her birth certificate. I would be completely honest with the state. Chances are you may legally qualify for some things you are receiving, but as someone pointed out, if they found out later you intentionally withheld any information, they could require you to pay back everything. That's not a gamble worth taking. As far as marriage, only you can answer that. I think if you have to ask advice, that's not a good sign. If you love him & want to be with him forever I think you would know. Don't marry for the baby because relatives tell you it's the right thing to do religiously or what not. No one should ever marry for that reason alone because everyone I've ever known that has, spent $10K + divorcing 1-5 yrs later when it inevitably did not work out because they got married for the wrong reason in the first place. Good luck!

Alexandra - posted on 09/13/2012

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You must have a pternity test to know for sure who the father is. All the other questions wll come later. It is even possible you are wrong and the person who you think is the father isn't and he will not want tostay together.

Find that out first for sure.

Danielle - posted on 09/13/2012

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You won't lose your benefits if you put him on the birth certificate which will also cover you of he tried to step out and not care for the baby if it is his. However, once you get married depending on his income you'll lose your benefits. So your concern should be should u get married instead of who to put on the birth certificate

Tammie - posted on 09/13/2012

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You don't have to be married to have the child's father listed on the birth certificate. You can put whatever name you want on there. Be upfront and honest though. If you get caught that you have tried to deceive the welfare system the government will take legal action against you to make you pay back the benefits.

Heather - posted on 09/13/2012

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Am not sure of the laws in FL, but here in WI, if a mother is receiving benefits, they require information on the potential father. After that is established, he is responsible for half the cost of the birth and will be required to start paying child support as soon as the baby is born. All of this applies, only if you are receiving state benefits. Why shouldn't the "alleged" father be responsible?? Part of having children is being FINANCIALLY responsible for them- that comment goes for you too!!

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