I'm a Fl resident, pregnant, and I know but

Tracie - posted on 09/13/2012

I'm very confused. You want the real father in your child's life and on the birth certificate, but you don't want him to have to pay for that privilege? You think everyone else should pay up so he can have a responsibility-free fatherhood? You want to marry this man, but you are going to be a single mom?



If you want to have a baby and you know who the father is, the TWO OF YOU are responsible for paying to raise/care for the child. If together you are still unable to care for the child, there are assistance programs. But I have a major ethical dilemma with your lying to get money from the state that some other woman whose husband died or left her can't get because you've taken it.



I'm sorry to say, but people like you are the reason why so many politicians want to do away with these programs altogether. By lying, you are hurting the honest ones. Something for you to think about as you bring another life into the world.

Tammie - posted on 09/13/2012

You don't have to be married to have the child's father listed on the birth certificate. You can put whatever name you want on there. Be upfront and honest though. If you get caught that you have tried to deceive the welfare system the government will take legal action against you to make you pay back the benefits.

Heather - posted on 09/13/2012

Am not sure of the laws in FL, but here in WI, if a mother is receiving benefits, they require information on the potential father. After that is established, he is responsible for half the cost of the birth and will be required to start paying child support as soon as the baby is born. All of this applies, only if you are receiving state benefits. Why shouldn't the "alleged" father be responsible?? Part of having children is being FINANCIALLY responsible for them- that comment goes for you too!!

Deborah - posted on 09/13/2012

So pretty much, you don't want either of the men that could be the father to pay child support or help with your medical bills? You want the tax paying public to do that? Does that sound right to you? You need to get your priorities straight and someone needs to man up!

Lynn - posted on 09/13/2012

You need to get a paternity test, to know for sure! You can get them through the mail, they are not expensive, and you should not even think about trying to get child support from anyone until you're positive, because you could be wrong! Look up DNA tests online, and you can do them with a simple cheek swab after the baby is born. You owe it to your child and your boyfriend to know for sure, and put him on the birth certificate if the child is his. Your child deserves to know the truth.

Taylor - posted on 09/13/2012

What part of Florida?

Catherine - posted on 09/13/2012

If you are struggling so bad why don't you want to pursue child support? Regardless of who the father is he has a responsibility to take care of his child. Do you really think its fair for the state/tax payers to pay for your child because you don't want to go through hassle?

Cynthia - posted on 09/13/2012

I think what they cut you off for is the lying. Despite what your heart tells you, the fact is that you don't know who the father is. You should be honest. You're not the first person to be in that position and you surely won't be the last.

Michelle - posted on 09/13/2012

I also live in FL, medicaid will cover your child for one year unless you comply with child support enforcement, if no father is found by the childs first birthday all benifits, afdc, food stps, and medicaid will stop. My daughter was raped and was too embarrassed to tell anyone, we found out about her pregnancy three weeks before my grandson was born. Unfortunately this is the info we recieved from dcf, he is 6mo. Old now and in six more months she is on her own, she will be elligible for cheap medical insurance for him through florida kid care, so there is still a ray of hope. If you do choose to get married prior to the birth of your child, you may still qualify for aid as a family, you can add your combined incomes and google my florida . Com check with do I qualify, to check annual income for a family of three. His name would automatically on the birth cert. when baby is born. If you are unwed when baby is born you are unable to put daddys name on the cert. they tell you it stays blank until you have dna test done, then they add it on later for free. I went through that seven years ago with my son and I was 100% sure my fiancee was the father. Don't forget to go to WIC and get extra help now during your pregnancy. Take care and good luck on your new arrival.

GENEVIEVE - posted on 09/13/2012

Be open and face the challenges that may come with it. There is no situation that lasts forever! You get through it and your life will be normal again. It is better to suffer now than later especially if your child finds out that you lied. It is the worst.

Angelica - posted on 09/12/2012

I dont know about Florida but in NY if you are receiving assistance and do not comply with the office of child support then you are sanctioned. If you are unsure which person is the father, tell them that. It is irresponsible for you to avoid with complying. If you are asking for help from the state then they have the right to go after the person who is legally responsible for supporting the child. If that man is going to be there, he will support you and he baby regardless but if he never intended showing any responsiblity then he will not be there. A real.man and father wants to be there and does not need to be forced to support his children.

Dove - posted on 09/12/2012

Well, right now you don't know who the father is, so you tell Medicaid it's between one of two guys... and you know both guys. After the baby is born you get the paternity test, bio father goes on birth certificate, and Medicaid gets told who the father is.... YOU don't have to go after anyone for child support... the state can do that and it's your child's right anyway.

Sherri - posted on 09/12/2012

Medicaid will pay regardless if you put him on the birth certificate or not. We were on Medicaid and my husband was on my son's birth certificate.

Izzee - posted on 09/12/2012

either way I'm a single mom and I need the assistance

Izzee - posted on 09/12/2012

Basically, we have been together a long time but we went through a rough patch. I'm just not sure what to do. I don't want to go after anyone for child support because that a bigger headache, I really only want to put who I choose is the dad in the BC.

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2012

So he only wants to marry you if the baby is his, and will only help you if the baby is his? Just clarifying.

Izzee - posted on 09/12/2012

No, read the other posts

Izzee - posted on 09/12/2012

the child will know regardless because a paternity test isn't a problem... it's right now. Unfortunately, I'm at a loss because I do need to do this alone it's not until after the baby is brn that I'm worried. Because although the Dad knows he is 99.9% the father there is still that doubt of the other man. ( we were struggling) He is willing to get involved after the baby is born and, I'd like him to be on the birh certificate. so, can that happen? and do I need to get married first (before or after it's born) and then deal with the certificate or put him on the certificate and THEN get married

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2012

So you are doing this to scam the welfare system?

Izzee - posted on 09/12/2012

there are two potential fathers even though in my heart i know who it is. but, who can guess. based on that I just want to know the legality so he can be put onto the certificate without me losing my Medicaid benefits. He also (niether) are involved with paying for anything and I'm willing to do that alone.

Vicki - posted on 09/12/2012

Adding to what Dove has said....Your child deserves the right to know who the father is as well. Its important for children to know their roots!

Dove - posted on 09/12/2012

If it gets found out that you are lying about the baby's paternity.... you will lose benefits and have to pay back whatever you've received already. Be honest and upfront from the beginning. It's less stressful that way.