I need help with my daughter who is 7 and constantly whines.

Anna - posted on 01/27/2009

Danielle,

Your comment about your 5 year old sounds alot like my 8 year old - who has had a challenge for years.. focusing alot on the negative.. I've discovered a book recently that I'm very impressed with so far, and its been helpful.  It's called Freeing Your Child From Negative Thinking, by Tamar E. Chansky.  There are ways to help children that focus too much  on the negative.. which is what my son seems to do alot, especially when he's tired and overstressed, and of course there's alot of whining and some crying meltdowns during those times. Anyway, good luck with everything!

Anna Anawalt

Jeanne - posted on 01/27/2009

Quoting Kathy:

I need help with my daughter who is 7 and constantly whines.

My daughter whines when she doesn't want to do something or when she is tired. She is way to old to be whining. I tried asking her to talk in a normal voice and started charging her 25 cents every time she whined.

Hi Kathy,

Doesn't that whining does drive you nuts!  All kids do it.  One tip I've tried and has worked with my 8 yr old is to (with a sense of humor) tell him 'I can't hear you when you whine....I can only hear boys with a big boy voice" and then go on about my business.  I've had to repeat myself, but now we both laugh and he even quotes it for me and changes his tone.  Hope that helps!

Averil - posted on 01/27/2009

shes attention seeking. she knows she gets a reaction when she whines. try ignoring it & when she does whine leave the room & find something 2 do she wil soon learn at however old that the whinning isnt working. children are cleaverer than we think, my 4 month old daughter cries in her cot before a nap, when i go 2 check shes ok & pick her up she stops so i put her back down & let her send herself off 2 sleep. i no your daughter is 7 but as long as u no theres nothing wrong with her shes just choosing to whine then just ignore it, she wil soon realise. x

Lee - posted on 01/27/2009

my sister calls her 7yr old daughter ramoana when she starts whining and tells her to go into a room she knows is empty and whinge to the people in there, when my neice tells her that nobody is in there she tells her well that's how many people are interested in listining to her whining so quit it and talk properly or go to the other room.

Danielle - posted on 01/27/2009

My boy is 5, and I have been very concerned about it... because one hundred things could be going right, but one small thing goes wrong for him, and he will concentrate on the one thing at the expense of everything.  I have tried many methods... whining back, rationalizing, getting impatient (which eventually happens anyways). One thing that sometimes works is changing the subject or distracting him.  If that doesn't work, I will sometimes threaten a time-out, and he hates time-outs, so that will usually stop the whining.  If it doesn't, it's usually a sign that he should be going to bed, cuz he's tired.

Daphne - posted on 01/27/2009

OMG! My DD who is now 5 cries about everything and the doctor said it was normal for girls to be emotional. I am NOT looking forward to the teen years.

Amanda - posted on 01/27/2009

I have a six year old that is just getting over it! We just say I can't hear you when you talk like that and then she has to repeat herself in a big girl voice and we will answer! It worked real fast!

Pamela - posted on 01/27/2009

I like the way you think! I think I would remove their favorite toy or tv time.

Amy - posted on 01/27/2009

I always tell my 7 year old daughter that "Whiners never get anything". At first she didn't get it but she did see she wasn't getting her way. Now all I have to say is "What do whiners get?" She replies with "nothing" and usually stops.

Natalie - posted on 01/27/2009

I ignored it at all cost. When she wined that I wasn't listening I casually said I can't hear you when you whine. After about a week she quit. Sometimes very rarely, a few times a year, usually after a crazy day (she is 9 now) she will whine. I say, excuse me do you need to go to bed because that voice isn't one I should hear. She snaps right out of it.

Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2009

I'm not so sure she is too old to whine. I tell my daughter that I will not continue the conversation until she can speak to me in a "big girl" manner. She hates not having my attention. So, that seems to work out well for us...for now.  :o)

Jodi - posted on 01/27/2009

My son is 5 and does the same thing, i was hoping that it would just be something he grew out of, it drives me in sane, im forever saying to him stop winging and wining and use your words, you would think by now they would realize thats not the way to get what they want. I dont have any suggestions, Have you spoken to her teacher at school, does she do it there or is it just to you? maby if you give her nothing she wants and continue to take away things from her, toys ect when she uses that voice, she may realize its not working for her.

Kristi - posted on 01/27/2009

You know this is funny.  Only funny because it is very familiar.  When one of my boys would begin to whine I would whine back at them and say "Well i want you to quit whining but it doesn't look like either one of us is getting what we want".  This always caught them off guard and they would geve me a funny look.  However they would quit whining.  Soory there are no easy solutions and each child is different. 

Michelle - posted on 01/27/2009

i was hoping they grow out of it..

do you think that would work with any age?  let me know if it works  :)