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MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Dove - posted on 12/20/2012
I just can't imagine a 9 year old pooping himself on purpose unless he has serious medical or mental/behavioral issues.
How does he even have any friends? When I was a young teenager a kindergartner at my school pooped his pants once in school and the poor boy was ridiculed for the entire year over it by his classmates.
Shawnn - posted on 12/20/2012
I'm sorry, Nicole, but you are allowing it to continue, if the kid is 9 years old, and there is no medical reason, and he, himself has stated that he's too lazy to take himself to the toilet like he should.
Your next step, since you have done the "no extras" route, is to take him to the bathroom yourself. Every hour, on the hour, tell him "son, it's time to go to the restroom". If he says he doesn't have to, tell him that since he cannot break himself away from play to go when he needs to, you need to treat him like a 2 year old and take him yourself. Continue this in public. He will need to go to the ladies with you until he can, by himself, stop crapping his pants.
This isn't going to fix itself now, because you've allowed it to continue for the last 7 years. You will need to be tough, and yes, I stand by my statement that you need to be a parent. We all need to hear that from time to time. It slaps us back into reality, and makes us realize that none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes, but we need to pick it up and move on.
You CAN retrain your son to use the toilet as appropriate. However, it's harder at 9 than it is at 2, because he's already trained himself to be lazy.
Nicole - posted on 12/20/2012
he cleans it up, I DONT!!! He does not get treats, sweets, or special activities.. I am a parent and I am trying. I wrote this to get some advice not to get told to be a parent. If I would have known this I wouldn't have said anything. Its not like I am allowing this to go on for years. But I do not know what else to do. He gets things taking away, not aloud to go anywhere or do anything.
Shawnn - posted on 12/20/2012
If he's just lazy (doesn't want to quit playing) you step up the consequences. Does he clean his messes, or do you? Do you make him take care of his own nasty laundry? Start.
Make HIM responsible for HIS actions. Enforce your rules. Do not allow any treats, sweets, special activities...for crying out loud, be a parent. He is now creating a hazardous situation for his peers, since human feces is an environmental hazard. In this day and age, any other parent could decide to take you to court for exposing their child to hazardous conditions.
I understand that this sounds harsh. I dealt with it with my sons, and I had no mercy. They were lazy, there were consequences. Neither of them craps themselves now, and both are extremely embarrassed that they did then. I didn't allow it to go on for 9 years, though. By the time they were both 5, they understood how nasty that was, and how much others disliked playing/associating with a kid that constantly smelled like shit.
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