I need suggestions

Renee - posted on 06/18/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 5, Is it bad that I find her really annoying sometimes? I'm a single mom and usually I'm tired on our way home around 7pm. On the train I'll listen to my music instead of talking to her. She's playing on her video game anyway, but sometimes I feel bad - I feel like we should be more engaged, I should be talking to her more or playing with her but sometimes I just don't want to. Any suggestions on how to be more involved with your kids?

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i dont tink its bad. kids can be annoying sometimes. i have a two year old and work from 6am to 6pm. so i understand the whole tired thing. but one thing i do do every night, no matter how tired i am, is when he's going to bed we sit in a rocker and i read atleast three small books to him and then i sing "our" song to him like ive done since the day he was born. i may not have seen him the entire day but thats "our time" every night. its only about 10 minutes but it beats no time at all.

Megan - posted on 06/18/2009

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how about putting one of your earplugs in her ear and one in yours and listen together?!

Definitely take at least afew minutes to listen to her day and maybe share some of yours. We're all tired, but the lack of communication only gets worse as they get older. You need that easy rapport now so when they are teenagers, you haven't completely lost it!

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Susan - posted on 06/19/2009

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I am not a single Mom, but a Mom of 3 under 6 yrs (two are 5....twins...1 is 6). I have been told many times that I am a great Mom.....guess what...I feel the same way you do sometimes...nothing wrong with that!!!! Single Moms are not given the credit that they deserve. The time that you do spend with one-on-one will mean the world to her, but only if you are into it you (they know....lol) enjoy those moments and don't beat youself up for the not-so-great moments....enjoy her.....she is only 5 for so long...wait for 15..ugh!!!! lol

Angela - posted on 06/19/2009

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Being a single mom is tough. Your daughter is 5 years old and very impressionable right now. They say that from birth to 5 years is the time when a child's whole personality is formed. You feel bad because you know in your heart that you should be spending more quality time with your child. Maybe you can better organize your free time. Spend time with her while she is awake and listen to your music and do things for yourself after she goes to bed. She should have a fairly early bed time being that she is 5. I think if you try that you will feel better all around! Let me know. Take good care, Renee.

Renee - posted on 06/18/2009

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Thank you all for the advice. I need as much as I can get! I think partially it also has to do with me being young and sometimes really impatient, but I want to get better before my daughter and I don't have a solid relationship at all.

Michelle - posted on 06/18/2009

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I think everyone has there moments when their children bug them, but if it's happening all the time maybe you need to try and spend sometime away. I know this can be hard when your a single parent but even if it's one night a week to do something you like (if this is an option). Otherwise it is still very important to spend time with your daughter. Just remember that even though a child is one of the most important things in a person's life you can't forget about yourself!

Courtney - posted on 06/18/2009

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Don't forget this is the only time they are going to be this age. Why miss more than you have to. Believe me I know how you feel though I don't think it's bad to want to be alone to have to me time. Kep in mind you don't wanna miss something and then say where did the time go, time already flies by.

Abby - posted on 06/18/2009

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do u do alot together at weekends? go to the park, go swimming, have a coffee adn a cake in a coffee shop, reading together, doing puzzles together! if she's happy playing on her game then leave her to it, but try some of the other things, interact with her in a fun way. i wouldnt feel bad but try and do small fun things with her when u have a few mins spare!

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