I need suggestions for getting my daughter to behave in school...

Rachel - posted on 04/26/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 5 years old and attends preschool, normally she is very well behaved but for the last few weeks she has been acting up a lot. Her behavior at home has not changed at all (still listens, please and thank you, etc, etc...)but her teachers have said they have noticed her getting jealous of the other children spending time with them and has been quick to throw tantrums. We've tried time outs when she gets home, taking away favorite toys, we even told her that if she didn't change her behavior at school then she would not be allowed to go on vacation with her grandparents as planned and she lost the trip in one day. Help! Nothing seems to be working!

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April - posted on 04/26/2010

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I truly understand what you are going thru, I have a 4 year old daughter that, I had to find a way to reach her heart and make her understand my disappointment and that I was upset with her. I tried spanking her and she would not cry at all. My daughter is a glamour girl. One day she did something that warranted a spanking but I tried something different I picked her up sat her in my lap and talked very calm and low to her, the tears started flowing like running water. I let her know that all her pretty girly things were going to be taken away until she could act better and discussed her behavior......trial and error

Rachel - posted on 04/26/2010

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I was worried that the at-home punishment would be counter productive as well, but the teachers are so afraid to punish children these days that the most severe punishment is to sit down during recess, so I figured if I let it go without punishment then she would eventually think that it was acceptable to act up in school. The most recent incident was when her teacher was playing with some other children and Kaylie wanted her to read to her, the teacher responded by telling her that she could read the book to her until she got done with the other children, and then she would read it to her, but Kaylie just got upset and threw the book down. We have long discussions about it when she gets home and she seems to be very aware of her wrong doing and why she is being punished, and she is always apologetic afterward, so it makes it hard to figure out what's pushing her buttons. This is just pre-school, she starts kindergarten in August, so maybe you're right, the change of scenery may be all it takes...let's hope so!

User - posted on 04/26/2010

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What does your daughter say about all of this? Many times when children are "out of control" they are begging for some "control" in their worlds. Have her teachers give her options like "would you like to join us and play or would you like to color". This way she will get to make a choice and feel a sense of control, thus not having to get out of control to gain some control. The thing about you trying to punish her at home for it after the fact doesn't really resolve the issue while at school. I am actually surprised that the teachers at the preschool aren't taking any responsibility for this.
Worst case scenario is to change schools...you might see a big difference in her if she had teachers that had some skills in dealing with these types of issues. Good luck, hope this helps!

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