I need tips on potty training a 3-year old boy!

Amber - posted on 05/22/2009 ( 118 moms have responded )

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I have been trying to get my song potty trained. One day he comes to me and says he wants to go potty in the big boy potty and he does really good all day (usually I don't even have to remind him to go, he just comes and says he has to go) and he usually doesn't have accidents on those days. However, he will do good on one day and then the next day he does really really bad. He will go about a week in between times when he really wants to go. I hate fighting him because it only makes it worse. Does anyone have any ideas or do you think I should just let him continue this way for a little while longer before trying to force him to do better? Any advice is helpful and please don't be mean!

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Lizzy - posted on 05/22/2009

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I created a "potty jar" for my son. Which was a jar with black construction paper and a lid on it so he could not see inside. Everytime he used the potty successfully (actually went potty and not just tried) he got to reach in the potty jar and pick out a prize. I went to family dollar and picked out alot of little toys which are only $1 or got some suckers or frutie snacks with his fav. characters, etc. works really well!

Debbie - posted on 05/30/2009

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Never push, just encourage. Your son will potty train when he is ready. Lots of praise when he does well but don't get upset when he doesn't. Praise is worth a thousand times more and children love to get it. Try this link to get some tips on training - it helped my granddaughter to be ready. www.babysitter.ca/toddler/pottytraining/abc/

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Charisse - posted on 06/08/2011

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help my son is was 3 in march and im still trying to potty train him. i first started when he was 2 and 1/2 he was wearing a nappy and it exploded so i took it ioff him and sat him on the potty whilst i cleared up the mess, as i was clearing it up he suddenly got up and told me to look. he had done a wee in the potty. i gave him lots of praise and from then kept sitting him on it at regular intervals. he started doing really well even telling us when he wanted to go then all of a sudden he just stopped and didnt want to use it anymore so i got him a toilet seat and the same thing happend at first he loved it he kept having accidents but most of the time he would go up and use it. suddenly he stopped and now everytime i ask him to use it he wont he'll sit on it and sometimes go but then thats it the next 3 days he wont do it. i've tried stickers at giving treats after but that didnt help ive recently been trying 'big boy pants' and for the first day he was fine all through the morning kept going to the toilet then he went out in the garden and it all went down hill he went through 4 pairs of pants in 2 hours. i keep trying to put him in pants as people say dont go back to nappys just keep changing his pants but he just keeps wetting himself and coming up to me saying he's wet. when we are out with his nan and aunts he grabs his his crutch and someone takes him to the toilet and he goes but he wont do this when we are at home or just out with friends i just dont know what to do.

Andrea - posted on 05/30/2009

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M y son was hard to potty train and was not completely potty trained until almost 4 yrs old. I finally had to just put undies on him and let him have accidents in them. It didn't take long before he was running to the potty so he wouldn't go potty in his undies. We also made a big deal about big boys not wearing baby diapers anymore. It took maybe a week and he was completely trained during the day, took a little longer for night. He is a heavy sleeper and would sleep right through wetting himself. Don't worry your son will be potty trained before you know it.

Jennifer - posted on 05/30/2009

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I have heard that boys are tougher than girls.... My son was hard to train as well. He could hold it through the night, but would wet during the day. I made a sticker chart, and when he went I would act overly excited, and we would dance. That worked, but he would still go on occassion...ususally when he was too "busy" to go in the bathroom. I had heard from someone to put him in real underwear, and plastic pants over them...this way you didn't waste money on pull-ups, and he REALLY didn't like feeling wet....since he wasn't wearing a diaper to soak it up. Worked for me!!

[deleted account]

I've heard boys can be tougher to potty train than girls. My son was like that when I started his potty training. You know he can do it but he's found it easier to just use a diaper or pull-up. I put my son's training potty on the kitchen floor and made him go stark naked for a couple days. He learned to recognize when he needed to sit down and potty. Then I put him in a t-shirt and underwear for the next few days, and gradually worked my way up to fully clothed so he would understand that he didn't have a diaper on. We're now going on 4 nights in a row without a diaper and so far so good...but this is after a year and a half of potty training (from first introducing him to the potty). I think when I finally told him "No More Diapers" he really started to work more on using the big boy potty.

[deleted account]

I've heard boys can be tougher to potty train than girls. My son was like that when I started his potty training. You know he can do it but he's found it easier to just use a diaper or pull-up. I put my son's training potty on the kitchen floor and made him go stark naked for a couple days. He learned to recognize when he needed to sit down and potty. Then I put him in a t-shirt and underwear for the next few days, and gradually worked my way up to fully clothed so he would understand that he didn't have a diaper on. We're now going on 4 nights in a row without a diaper and so far so good...but this is after a year and a half of potty training (from first introducing him to the potty). I think when I finally told him "No More Diapers" he really started to work more on using the big boy potty.

Kristy - posted on 05/30/2009

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My son is 2 1/2 and we have tried a few times, but he doesn't want to. I have a problem at the moment with his Great Grandmother who every time she visits(once a week)makes him sit on the potty and if he doesn't want to, she threatens she will go home and not visit him again, which I think is terrible, but it's my partner's Grandmother and she is very controlling and gets emotional when things don't go her way. She keeps going on about how she had her kids, my partner and his brother all trained by the time they were 1. She makes me feel like I'm not a good mum for him not being trained by now, and keeps insisting on taking my boy to her house for a week and getting him trained and she lives almost an hour away, so I wouldn't be able to visit him and she is 77 years old. Am I being silly, but shouldn't parents teach their kids how to be trained and NOT their Great Grandmothers?

Sarah - posted on 05/30/2009

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hi i myself is in the middle of potty training and my son is 3yrs and 4mths and he still isn,t interested in it so my friend bought me a wee ball that you put in the toilet and they can aim at it and make it spin.i know it,s abit lame but it does seem to be working and my other son & hubby like it as well.good luck and stick with it.it,s something that just clicks and once he gots it you will never look back.sarah

Temper - posted on 05/29/2009

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Quoting Adriane:

At the age of 3, you should be finished potty training. Spanking is what is needed at this point. Let him stay messy, and don't use "pull ups" use 3 year old underwear and when he gets tired of being wet or messy he will tell you he has to "use it". Visit pull-ups.com for a video on potty training. Good luck.



I came here looking for advice because I too have the same problem with my 3 year old son. Adriane's "advice" is the worst peice of information I have seen. I think that is a horrible way to potty train and hope nobody seriously takes that advice. I am sad for your children. Thanks for posting this question...it's helped me as with some ideas.

Melanie - posted on 05/29/2009

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I potty trained my son and he was an expert by the time he was 18months old. I did not have an active or present father at that time, so being a boy, it was that much harder.......I used to stand him in front of the toilet and hold his hands over his "pee pee" with mine so that I trained him to direct the pee into the toilet.....then I would praise him like crazy when he peed. Then I would wake him up in the middle of the night and repeat the process so he would get into the habit of going to the toilet, rather than peeing in his bed. It takes some time and some patience, but it works. In the day time, I would place his potty in front of the television and when he was watching Sesame Street, he would use the potty to sit on and then when he heard himself going "poop", he would get up and look inside the potty and clap his hands cuz he knew he did a good job!!! More praise!!!

Ashley - posted on 05/29/2009

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Its pretty obvious that your son knows exactly what he is doing. Is he completely in underwears? Once you start underwears do not go back. Stay firm! If he wets himself, make him change his own clothes and do not rush him to do. The purpose of this is to teach him that wetting is not good. Its okay to have an accident, but accidents all day are not good. I potty trained my son at 2years old. I didnt rush him but I made him realize that if you wet yourself than u clean up after yourself. It promotes independence while teaching. Its good to reward, but some children expects the rewards and when the rewards stop coming then they dont want to do it sometimes. I know it may sound to direct but this worked for my son. Everytime he wet himself I talked to him and then he cleaned up after himself.

Ashley - posted on 05/29/2009

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Its pretty obvious that your son knows exactly what he is doing. Is he completely in underwears? Once you start underwears do not go back. Stay firm! If he wets himself, make him change his own clothes and do not rush him to do. The purpose of this is to teach him that wetting is not good. Its okay to have an accident, but accidents all day are not good. I potty trained my son at 2years old. I didnt rush him but I made him realize that if you wet yourself than u clean up after yourself. It promotes independence while teaching. Its good to reward, but some children expects the rewards and when the rewards stop coming then they dont want to do it sometimes. I know it may sound to direct but this worked for my son. Everytime he wet himself I talked to him and then he cleaned up after himself.

Kathleen - posted on 05/29/2009

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One thing that I have been told is to get him excited about getting to go potty, put a little bowl of cheerios on the toilet, every time he goes in there, throw one in and tell him to make it sink, he will have a blast and want to do it all the time!! Hope that helps!

Jodie - posted on 05/29/2009

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Quoting Ruth:




I couldn't agree more. They'll do it in their own time. When they're ready, you'll be amazed at how quickly they become trained. It's not a competition or a race to see who can potty-train the quickest. Take your time, don't scold, nag or fuss and most of all, don't worry. Have you ever come across a healthy 8 year-old who's still in nappies (or diapers)? No, thought not. By the time they get to school, they're all trained.








All I did was put underpants on my son and when he peed or soiled himself, he didn't like the feeling and soon wanted to use the potty. When this happened, I changed him into another pair of pants and told him to use the potty next time, never making a big deal out of it.








For him to be dry at night, I waited til he woke a few mornings in a row with a dry nappy. He's 4 and still has the odd accident at night, but so what? Some kids do!











I have to disagree with letting them do it in their own time.  I have a nephew who will be 7 this year and YES he is still in diapers because his parents want him to do it in his own time.  His 3 year old brother and 2 year old sister are both potty trained but he isn't because they don't want to force him.  I AM SORRY HE IS ALMOST 7 MAKE HIM GO POTTY!!!!!!



I potty trained my God son when he was 2 and we used fruit loops in the potty each color was a different point if he could sink them we would add the points and that determined the prize he would get.

Claudia - posted on 05/29/2009

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My son is now just over 31/2 and tried to have him clean since he was 2. Stupid I know but all around me the kids were clean so I thought he had to be. Nothing really worked. Mine also was ok for a while but then forget about it. So I decide to stop everything. One evening, actually after his first day at school here in Houston (we moved last october back to Houston, TX), he said to me 'I am a big boy now I want nappies/diappers anymore'. And that was it!!!! However he still wants it at night but I must admit I don't force or do a big deal about it. I know soon enough he will be decide to move on...when he is ready.

Corrie - posted on 05/29/2009

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hi, i had the same problem with my son, and thankfully hav it all sorted and under control now, the way i did it is every time he went on his pottyy i'd giv him a sticker of one of his favourite cartoon characters he got used 2 it and realised he could get a sticker every time he did a wee or poo on his potty, he turns three at the end of june and is now fully potty trained and has been since christmas last year and now does it all by himself, I learnt that you cant force him to potty train and he will onli start when he feels ready to start you will know when this is easily! i also found that everytime he sat on his potty even if he didnt do anything he liked the attention and the praise that he received for it,i hope this helps, as it certainly helped me!!!

[deleted account]

With our boys we used a duel system. Cheerio targets to "shoot" in the potty and an m&m for using the potty. It made it fun and a positive association for going. Plus they learn "aim" while learning where to go. Major bonus in bathroom cleaning time.



Patience is key, boys often take longer than girls to potty train and they all eventually "get it".

Patricia - posted on 05/29/2009

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With my daughter i would let her wear her Dora or My little pony knickers but if she had any accidents i told her that she now has to wear the ugly knickers(Just plain colours or really ugly ones) then when she stayed dry and clean she got to wear her pretty knickers again.

I tried stickers but it only ever ended up in tantrums because she wanted them all.

But i would suggest if you are getting stressed take time out and start again at a later date.

Emily - posted on 05/28/2009

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That's how my Daughter is, it has taken me over a year to potty train her.... The Dr. kept telling me that she would do it when she's ready, but to continue encouraging it and not pushing it... Easy for her to say!! We did the sticker char, and the coin jar where she could use her stickers to turn in to get a surprise, or her money to get a toy, and did the whole song and dance every time she went, but in the end it was all about when SHE wanted to do it... Believe me... She was 4 when we FINALLY jumped the hurdle and stopped with accidents.... Some children are just stubborn! My 6 year old son, I told him he was done with diapers, and he was done. Not an accident, nothing.... He was that easy... Every single child is different, and like with anything else it all takes time, but you'll get there!! Good luck!

Erin - posted on 05/28/2009

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My son loves thomas the tank engine so I put a Thomas sticker on his potty every time he did a wee or two stickers for a poo. He now uses the toliet with the occasional accident maybe once a fortnight. I do occasionally make him go to the toilet kicking and screeming before I go out and things just in case and he often does a wee even though he is telling me he doesnt want to go. I think going to the toilet clicked for him after seeing his friends use the toilet also and I would remind him that so and so uses the toilet, do you want to be big like him?



I hope this helps. It wont be long now and Im sure he will get it.

Lisa - posted on 05/28/2009

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We also use the M&M system. My son just turned 3 and still has problems with peeing his pants at times. So we're still working on it. But the m&ms have been a great motivator so far. He still wears a pull-up at night but goes the rest of the day without diapers. I sometimes think that they'll just do it when they want to...

Cherise - posted on 05/28/2009

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I have a friend who's daughter knew how to go on the potty but was simply defiant and would pee or poop in her underwear just for attention. I'm not sure if this is the case with your son. She decided that everytime her daughter would make a mess she would clean her off in the shower instead of the bath but she didn't make the water nice and warm. She didn't leave it freezing cold but just kinda chilly. Her daughter was potty trained in 2 weeks with no more accidents.



I don't recommend this if your child is developmentally ready but if it's just a battle of wills between you and your son it seems to work well.



Hope it's going well!

[deleted account]

With my youngest who is now 7 yrs old, he didn't want to train because he was afraid he wouldn't be the baby anymore. I struggled with him for a while but sat him down one day and said that I had no more diapers (never used pull-ups). I told him that if he couldn't go to the potty like a big boy then he would just have to be wet. He cried and asked why I couldn't buy more diapers and I told him that he was too big for baby diapers. Actually after that, he never had another accident. Luckily. Also, to make going to the potty fun for him I used to put cheerios in the water and tell him to try to aim at those. he thought that was great. Good luck!

Kim - posted on 05/28/2009

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If you don't have in padded underwear that would be the first thing I would they don't like feeling wet. That might help.

Trista - posted on 05/28/2009

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Well, I don't have a boy... I have a little gir. I have heard that putting a few Fruit Loops in toliet and make it a game to see how many you can pee on.

Samantha - posted on 05/28/2009

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i have just finished potty training my little boy it took 4 days i had a reward chart for him so everytime he went he got a sticker he is 3 years and a half. i also told him the nappie fairy took his nappies aways till bed time

Trevlyn - posted on 05/28/2009

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I got a tip that really helped me and my son was potty trained in a week at 3 year old. He likes Larry Boy from Veggie Tales and so I pretended to have Larry Boy call him when he went to the potty and say how proud he was of him. And he went and never looked back. So have your child's favorite character call and talk to him and see if that works.

Mary - posted on 05/28/2009

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Hello, I'm Mary. My son was almost 3 1/2 before he was fully ready to go potty, but once he got it, he got it! We don't even have to put on pull ups when he is napping or at night. I think that is because we let him lead us. We did try everything first though: bribes, just making him go whether he wanted to or not, pleading, lecturing, you name. Finally one day we noticed that he really wanted to be a big boy and not a baby like his 18 month old sister so we put him in big boy underwear and told him if he had accidents we'd have to put a baby diaper back on him...it worked. He was so happy do be a big boy that he started doing it all in the potty almost like magic! Now our 18 month old daughter is trying to go in the big girl potty like her big brother...I hope she continues but we'll see. Good luck and don't give up. He knows when he's ready and he'll let you know too.

Dionne - posted on 05/28/2009

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I have a 3 year old who turns 4 in August and he just now (in the last month) is finally potty-trained. I tried everything, bribing, potty chart, treat for everytime you potty, everything I could think of. Finally, he just decided he wanted to be a big boy and that was it. Pretty crazy...I think we just have to let nature take it's course. Good luck and don't give up on him...he'll do it when he gets ready. :)

Leanne - posted on 05/28/2009

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don't push it, he may not be ready. let him watch his dad have a pee, put a cork in the loo for him to aim at, make it a game! the cork won't flush away, there to play another day

Heather - posted on 05/28/2009

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I have 4 kids, and they were all potty trained at age 2. I just couldn't afford the pulllups and diapers. In India they are potty trained at 12 months. You have to talk to them like they are much older. When they have an accident make

a big deal, and explain how yucky this is to go in their pants. Let them know that they are too old to do this. Whenever I would go to get them their big girl or big boy panties at the store I would make it an exciting event. They now knew that they couldn't spoil these or I would have to throw them away. I made it very low stress, and they all potty trained over the weekend. Don't wait for them to tell you, keep making trips all day long. I would do it about once every hour. good luck!!! :)

Heather - posted on 05/28/2009

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Sorry to be a late replier. I potty trained my son last summer and what worked the best for me was that you kind of put it in their control. I just kept telling him "remember to tell mommy when you have to go potty". If he did tell me he had to go and actually did go on the potty I would give him stickers. He did really good with going #1 on the potty but had a little harder time going #2. So I took a popsicle stick and cut out a big circle and glued it to one end, then he added whatever kind of stickers he wanted to both sides. I told him that was his stick to hold when he needed to "poo" and it would help him not to feel scared about going. When he would go, we make a big deal about it clap and flush it away saying bye to it. He would get so excited when he actually went and could tell good-bye. We were able to get the days down really good but we still have a few issues once and a while with night time. He wears a pull up to bed just incase. I think with him being in pre-school also helps but he likes being a big boy and telling us when he needs to go potty. Good Luck!!!

Dawn - posted on 05/28/2009

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No absolutely not! I went through this with my son. I made a game out of potty training my son that really worked and he was 2. I put 3 cheerios in the potty and told him to potty on them and if he did he got to pick a snack out of the snack box or fruit basket. Suckers are favorites. I know it sounds crazy but just try it it really does work!

Chris - posted on 05/28/2009

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try putting fruit loops in the potty and tell him to shoot them down...lol it worked for me and never had any issues after that!

Tina - posted on 05/27/2009

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Devote one full week to potty training. Every half hour bring him to the potty and ask him to try going. In a few days my two year old was completely trained. And don't worry about it, they all do it at their own time.

Stacey - posted on 05/27/2009

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dont be so hard on your self...or him! He's 3...not 5! He wont go to kindergarden in a diaper! Try and let him do it, use pullups so there's less mess and dont punish or pressure him. Love him and support him, dont push...good luck!

Wendy - posted on 05/27/2009

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My son was about 3 when he was ready but to make sure, we put fruit loops in the toilet to add some "targets" to him to aim at. Every time after that he wanted fruit loops in there and in about a week he had it down to a science( so to speak) the rest came naturally. Just let him learn on his own time. Pushing to much can set him back weeks or months.

[deleted account]

My son LOVED "smarshmellows". He would go potty, drag the step stool to the sink and wash his hands and then he would open the big jar on the back of the toilet with giant smarshmellows. It was a process. A big routine, that eventually became just an everyday habit. It takes 30 days with no breaks to keep a habit, so it is something that is hard to program a lttle brain when he does it for a week and stops for a few days. For that thirty days make it a huge deal... then slowly taper off, just make it a little less exciting. he will get the idea that it is just something that he does... GOOD LUCK!!! (My second child was a late potty trainer, it isn't your fault, he will do it when he is ready!)

Tracy - posted on 05/27/2009

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this may sound weird but my son loved to potty #1 because we used to drop a cheerio in the potty and he had to try to hit it... but that was 15 years ago,,,,but it worked

Megan - posted on 05/27/2009

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Quoting Adriane:

At the age of 3, you should be finished potty training. Spanking is what is needed at this point. Let him stay messy, and don't use "pull ups" use 3 year old underwear and when he gets tired of being wet or messy he will tell you he has to "use it". Visit pull-ups.com for a video on potty training. Good luck.



Spanking is NEVER the solution to toilet training.  With some kids it takes a lot more time and patience than others.  Punishment of any kind for a bad result when toilet training will just make them less likely to tell you when they have had an accident.



I do agree to use underwear instead of pullups.  The uncomfortable feeling will help them move along int he process as who wants to feel like that? 



I am a big advocate of the sticker chart.  Has worked successfully for all sorts of htings in our house and then you're not up for a fortune in suprise toys or feeding them lollies 10 times a day.



 



 

Trish - posted on 05/27/2009

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I have 6 yr old twin boys, and potty training was pretty hectic. They weren't trained until they were well over 3. Don't play the 'pull-up game' put him in big boy underwear, take him to the store to pick out his own so that he's part of it. Watch when he drinks and time it so that he is using the potty after he has drank or after meal times. Fruitloops/Cheerios are a fun tool for him to try and aim at. I also used the sticker chart, after getting five or ten stickers in a row (actually going, not just trying) the boys could pick a prize out of a prize box that I kept on top of the fridge. Give him the underwear and be done with it. Going back and forth between diapers/pullups and underwear seemed to confuse my boys, and they liked buying thier own and they were proud to wear them. Sitting in wet underwear is much worse then a wet diaper or pullup, thus making them want to get right to the bathroom right away. Good luck, be patient and be prepared for lots of laundry :)

Jennifer - posted on 05/27/2009

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One thing I did with my son (and this may seem weird but it worked) we would get cherrios or fruit loops and make it a fun game for him to see if he could hit the cherrios or fruit loops when he peed...he would be excited about going he was potty trained within a week we would start out with alot then move down to less and less until finally he didnt use the cherrios he just went inthe toliet.....good luck and hope this helps!!

Colleen - posted on 05/27/2009

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Ping pong balls in the toilet work really well too. They float around and dont go down when flushed. Good to aim at.

Colleen - posted on 05/27/2009

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My three yr old son does the same thing but we thought that he might have been scared of the feeling of a bowel motion, so we tried sitting him on the potty with a bug magazine ( he is facinated in bugs ) and he got so absorbed in the book that he forgot where he was and it just happened. Now we just left his books in the toilet and most times he goes by himself, accidents still happen but less and less as time goes by.

Jessica - posted on 05/27/2009

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It may sound weird but it has worked for both of my boys. Pappaw(grandpa) showed them how to pee outside and it worked. they took off just like that and my parents say that when i was little i always peed outside. i guess when you live in the country that is ok, if not try to get them to pee on cereal in the potty, make a game out of it, make it FUN.

Dannie - posted on 05/27/2009

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The best thing you can do is let him try when he is ready. Don't rush him or worry about keeping up with other people's children. Every kid is different. My first son was a quick learner, my second son did not want to learn to go potty. He would not let anyone force him or teach him. He wanted to go when he wanted. Eventually my husband and I gave in and let him start when he was ready. It was much easier than forcing him.

Katie - posted on 05/27/2009

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I currently work at a preschool/daycare and our two's room of potty trainers. First the best thing for potty training is an example, the kids really warm up to the idea of using the potty when they see other kids doing it as well. Try encouraging playtime with an older friend who's got the potty thing down. We don't use rewards, verbal encouragement and a sense of independence go along way though. A timer/buzzer is an easy reminder as well. For the preschoolers who aren't quite there yet (usually the 3 year old who have never been in a "school" setting before) all the kids get use to associating "that noise" with having to try to go potty. (Quite often it will ring and you'll hear "Hey (kid's name) you need to go potty now!")

Michy - posted on 05/27/2009

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Guess I was real lucky as my boys potty trained really early. We celebrated by making a potty dance up and every time they went (although it was time consuming and interrupted other things) we sang a 'potty song' and did the dance. We made them feel so important and special for going in the potty that they were proud of their achievements. After a while it just became something they did when they needed to and there was no longer a need for praise. My sister used a rewards chart that worked. Kids love being made a fuss of and the potty visit was a chance for them to be fussed over in a fun way. Visitors to the house thought we had gone crazy but some of them even joined in with the song and dance. lol. Try not to let your little ones know you are anxious about their potty training habits. Just make them proud for doing what they do! :-)

Judy - posted on 05/27/2009

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I threw a cheerio in the tolit and told him to hit it. It worked very well there are also targets u can buy to stick in the bottom of the tolit so he can get points and use the reward system with that. Like how ever many points is on the target, use them with some of his fave things and when he hits them points he gets that special whatever it is. Good luck

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