i need to enjoy having 2 adorable boys.. i can;t, i am always angry?

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Donna - posted on 07/16/2009

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Sometimes we take are anger out on our kids and we don't mean to when i get like that i go in a bathroom for a few min. and count and just breath and then i come out and i am better and the kids are better because they know when we are angry so they start acting up so just walk away then come back and start again it really helps

Sharon - posted on 07/16/2009

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I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE BEING DEPRESSED ITS MY MIDDLE NAME

I JUST HATE IT WHEN MY PARTNER FINDS FAULTS ALL THE TIME.I HAVE TWINS WHO ARE 5 AND A THREE YR OLD TOO. HES GREAT WITH THE KIDS AND HE DOES MORE THAN HIS FAIRE SHARE .THE PROBLEM IS THAT HE TELLS ME HOW MUCH HE IS DOING AND MAKES ME FEEL USELESS . I WORK HARD TOO AND IM STARTING ANEW JOB NEXT WEEK. MAYBE WERE JUST NOT CLOSE ANY MORE IM OVERWEIGHT AND FEEL LIKE A ROBOT GOING THROUGH THE MOSIONS . IM NOT IN AHAPPY PLACE AT THE MOMMENT AND HAVENT BEEN FOR A LONG TIME.WHY I JUST DONT KNOW . I LOVE MY CUBS SO MUCH IT HURTS

Nichole - posted on 07/15/2009

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Anna... brave of you to post this. I have days where I can’t seem to get out from under the anger, but for me it’s just the odd day. I agree with the others, it's time to ask for help. Worth a visit to your doctor to see if there is an underlying medical problem. Also worth talking to a counsellor to find out where this anger is coming from - WHAT are you angry about? Does it derive from a situation in your life that you could perhaps take control of and change for the better? I also agree with the others that support and stress-release are crucial - you can't take care of your boys well unless you are taking care of yourself, and that means putting yourself first sometimes. Try to do something just for YOU every day, even if it's just a bubble bath and a good book for half an hour after the kids are in bed. Frankly I think this is also good role-modeling for your kids, to see that YOU see yourself as important. Good luck with it.

Deanne - posted on 07/15/2009

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I was like that before I had kids!!!
I had major anger problems that we realised depression was the cause. I was medicated (not saying anyone needs to be medicated!) & read some really good books about reprogramming your thinking.... they were all about waking up in the morning & instead of saying to yourself "arrrhhhh I don't want to get up, I hate my life etc etc" wake up & say to yourself "what a beautiful day, it's gonna be a great day today". I know it sounds corny but being positive first thing in the morning, talking instead of yelling (I did that a lot), walking away when you know your getting frustrated & counting to 10 or even singing a silly song in your head.... brings your stress levels down & you learn to approach things that stress you out differently.
I wrote things down when I got so furious I could have burst then burnt the paper, letting it go as it burned..
Talking to your doctor will help as well, not for medication but just for advice or for a referral to a counselor to work out a way to deal with your emotions.
I wish you luck & just know that you can have a happier life, it takes time & determination.

Pamela - posted on 07/15/2009

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Hi Anna-The boys look close in age-my 2 boys are 22months apart, not to mention I had my 3 kids in JUST under 5 years-my daughter wasn't quite 5 when my younger boy was born. AND I had to work full time for insurance purposes. What help me through was trying to keep a sense of humor-and deciding what to let slide around the house. Ask my kids-who are now adults-our house was messy but not dirty-for that matter-my daughter is also in the Circle of Moms-and I'm really proud of the way she's raising HER daughter!!

Toni - posted on 07/15/2009

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Please understand I get it..I also have two boys. However, if you are really feeling anger all the time, regardless of the situation, I do believe you need to talk to your doctor. Yes, it is okay to be tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, etc. But if you are at the point where you don't feel like you can enjoy your kids due to anger, it sounds like you could have a little depression or hormonal imbalance going on. Please see medical advise asap. Good luck and God bless.

Virginia - posted on 07/15/2009

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I think just knowing ur not alone is alot of help.I am a mother of 3 and i stay at home my children r 10,2,and 1 so I understand the stress of raising a family.I am going to see a doctor because I have anger and problems with depression.You have to try for ur self and those babies,you all should be happy and that will not happen if your angery all the time.There is hope and it will get better.

Kelly - posted on 07/15/2009

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I have been there and still go through that emotional up and down and my child is now 12 years old. I was always angry or sad so I finally talked to my doctor and went to counseling as I had done off and on most of my life and found I had several diagnosis and I am on medication and have been for the 12 years. Right now I am in the process of getting a med change because I am moody again but typically I am better than I ever used to be. I have professional people helping me and my daughter because she also has similar disorders as mine and I have more support now than I ever got from family. These people point out my good qualities so I can focus on something positive and have a stronger means to work on what I am not so positive at since this is my first and only child and being she is a pre teen it is alot to learn but now I am stronger for her. Do it for your kids to get help and even if it isn't counseling right now at least see your doctor and get help there to start with you will be glad you did.

Zharna - posted on 07/15/2009

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I agree, definately go and talk to a doctor because there may be a reason for it which can be treated!!

Otherwise if you have the support take up a hobby that gives you a bit of time out from the kids. I took up Taekwon-Do when my daughter was small and have found it great for getting rid of some pent up frustration and having some time for yourself

Ashima - posted on 07/15/2009

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Hi anna i know it is difficult to bring two children but the key word is patience and u can take some councelling and if u want to talk it out we are always there for u . always think about good and positive side of this situation and i think u will start feeling better this really worked for me.

Sylvia - posted on 07/15/2009

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First you need to find the root of the matter, What and why are you angry. I was a single mom for 5 years with no support. But I trusted God to take care of all my needs and he did. Once you find the root of the matter then thats where you need to start focusing on. Ask God to give you patience, it may not seem like u have alot at first but keep asking him and before u know it things that would set you off , will no longer set you off

Tonya - posted on 07/15/2009

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Bless your heart! I will say a quick prayer for you. I know you don't want to feel angry and stessed. I would suggest taking even 15 mins of quiet time to write down the things that are making you feel angry or stressed. If I write it down.... I can sometimes "see" it better and find a way to cope. Prayer always works for me too. Hang in there!

GUSTI - posted on 07/14/2009

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were you angry before the boys or did it start recently?? maybe you need a break to hang out with friends or have some "me" time. i have two boys ..and i need a break every once in awhile...boys are a handful..i have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. it can get crazy..

Rebecca - posted on 07/14/2009

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I have had issues with anger, and I found them really scary. I knew it wasn't PND, so I did some research and found articles on Post Natal Stress which sounded much more like what I had. I didn't go to the doctor in the end because I was directing the anger at myself and not anyone else, and instead researched anger management techniques. The ones that worked best for me was going for walks and deep breathing. See if you can do some research and find what works for you. I know that feeling angry makes you feel guilty which makes you feel stressed which makes you feel angry... Take any opportunities you can to have fun to break the cycle. Good luck!

Lisa - posted on 07/14/2009

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could it be post natal depression? it is well known that undiagnosed post natal depression can last forever! so go see your gp and they should know

Kristen - posted on 07/14/2009

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i totally understand where you are coming from. I have 3 boys all under the age of 3 and i to always seem to be angry or upset and i dont seem to be able to enjoy them like i should. I do not get the help that i need even tho my husband says he helps but he doesnt. i also work part time on top of it so i understand that you are angry all the time because i to am angry all the time. As the other mom said i am here if you would like to talk or just vent whatever you need. Support is one of the main things that mothers need and it seems that some of us dont get it whether we do or do not have a spouse there.

Candice - posted on 07/14/2009

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i agree. time to talk to a doctor and get possibly get some counselling. also, get some support, take a break!!! it's hard. i get it. my first year was HELL. but i have mellowed alot and enjoy my daughter much more. lack of sleep, lack of help, depression, loneliness...it makes for a cranky mom.

Sharon - posted on 07/14/2009

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Depressed? Lack of support, help? I was where you are. I even had two boys. My husband pretended to help but mostly he just screwed things up - on purpose I think. One day I told him. "I don't need you. I can raise the children and be just fine, WE don't need you. But I want you here." That woke him up. I remembered having a job, searching for a job and I did it all on my own. I could do it again.



We're always here, you can reach me through facebook any time.



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