Schyla - posted on 04/08/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )
So a few weeks ago (like a month and a half) my little brother (he's 20) brings a young woman home and asks my parents if she can stay for about a week, because she got kicked out of her place, and her school didn't start until the next week, so my parents opened their home to this young lady, a week comes and goes and she's now going to wait until April to start school, because she doesn't have money for a place to live. (hello it's April) well then it turns out that she and my brother are dating, and then we learn that she's still married, and hasn't filed for the divorce yet, then she gets the divorce papers and gets it all taken care of, and before she gets the confirmation that it's final, she and my brother are engaged. Neither one has a job or any hope of a job and my parents have "said" that they are done at the end of the month, with or without a job. The only exception being if my brother has taken the steps to join the military, so here is my first issue, my family has taken in this young lady opened our hearts to her and she has lied (or so it feels like). She doesn't contribute to the house hold chores, and she and my brother are often alone in his room with the door closed (always been a HUGE no no). She doesn't have a job and neither dose my brother they are on the verge of living out of a car that doesn't even work all the time. I worry that my brother is going to end up hurt, I have offered help like when I hear about job opening somewhere I let them know (not just them but all the people I know who are looking) and when they don't pan out for her I get accused of lying, the tension in my parents home is so high I don't even feel welcome there anymore. I have informed my parents that because of this I will not allow my children to visit, (i have a daughter who is overly sensitive and over stimulates easily and the last few times we've been there have been a nightmare for her) My mother says that I'm letting this young lady have control over my actions but the example my brother is setting is not one I want my children exposed to and the tension in the house isn't good for either of my kids. Do you think that I made a rash judgment call and am letting this young women have control, or do I have every right to deiced that I don't want my kids exposed to the tension or the example they are setting (just to clarify the example would be living together before marriage and mooching off of others (something I feel very strongly about) and here is my second issue I am very hurt over being called a lier however I am mature enough not to let that color my decision I feel I have a right to worry about my little brother and offer whatever help I can when something comes my way, my mother has voiced that she feels like all of her help has been treeted the same way and I'm worried this young lady is trying to shut all of us out of his life (I had a boyfriend that did that to me and I am seeing not just some but A LOT of the same kind of behavior here) am I out of line bringing this concern to my brother attention or the attention of my parents? or do I just keep my mouth shut instead of bringing more tension into an already tense situation?