I've been trying to get pregnant for 8 months and nothing is happening. What's wrong?

Donna - posted on 03/05/2010 ( 204 moms have responded )

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Ive been trying to get pregnant for 8 months, and cant seem to make it happen , but my monthlies are all over the place and very painful, i cant judge when im ovulating, or when im fertile , ive had a blood test to see if im going through the change and im not everyone around me have just had babies and its driving me crazy , Please help !

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Terry - posted on 03/14/2010

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Low progesterone... I see this quite often in my practice. You want to avoid synthetic progesterone. You need bio-identical progesterone for two reasons...to conceive & improve your cycles and also to avoid miscarriage & toxemia: not to mention high blood pressure. Progesterone levels must be at healthy levels to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Start now on extra folic acid. You need this up to 4 months prior to conception. Also taking in high quality Omega III. 1500 mg minimum daily: after conception, 3000.

Fiona - posted on 03/12/2010

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I was in the same boat 2 years ago. My husband & I were trying for a year and no luck, until I found a device called 'Maybe Baby'. It tests the estrogen levels in your saliva and you can pin point when you're ovulating. It's a little microscope the size of a lipstick and what you do is put some saliva on it, press the light button and look through, if u see little ferns you're ovulating but if u only see spots or nothing at all then you're not ovulating. Certainly works for us because we bought the maybe baby in February and we conceived in March and now have a healthy baby boy born Dec 2009. May also work to help with gender selection. Want a boy? Have sex right on ovulation day (when u see lots of dark ferns). Want a girl? Have sex when u start to see the ferns forming. They sell for around $70 brand new but I just bought mine off ebay for half that price. Good Luck!

Ciara - posted on 03/14/2010

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I have been in that same situation and a good friend told be about "Taking Charge of your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. This was the best thing I ever did and wish I did years ago even before trying to get pregnant. I learned A LOT about my body. It still took 9 months to get pregnant but it's hard when my cycles are a regular 45 days. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Patti - posted on 03/13/2010

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Donna have you ever tried going to a Chiropractor. I have been a Chiropractor for 28 yrs this June and have had numerous couples that couldn't concieve after trying all kinds of ways to become pregnant without successful, get pregnant after both partners begin Chiropractic Care. Your nervous system controls hormone production. If you are intersted I'm sure I can find someone in your area. If anymore questions please let me know

Patti Chelenyak D.C.

Ronda - posted on 03/14/2010

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i tried for two years, sent my husband to a urologist who told him to where boxers instead of briefs and 2 months later i was pregnant

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Katherine - posted on 03/14/2010

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Hi Donna,



It's CoM policy to lock threads at 200+ posts. If you want to reference it just copy and paste the link.



Thanks,

Katherine

WtCoM

Administrator

Ronda - posted on 03/14/2010

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I tried for 2 years and my dr's urologist told him to stop wearing briefs and 2 months later i was pregnant

Sarah - posted on 03/14/2010

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you sound just like me! only i have been trying for 2.5 years. BUT i saw a specialist about it and have been diagnosed with Endometriosis. now i am on the waiting list to see another specialist for surgery. it is still possible to have children so see some one asap to get help and before u know it u may hear the pitter patter of little feet!



good luck xo

Mellisa - posted on 03/13/2010

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I would suggest getting professional help, my sister has been trying for 2 years and it's difficult to watch her go through this let alone how she must be feeling. If you're into natural alternatives I saw a Kinesiologist prior to falling pregnant and she balanced out my hormones for me. My husband & I also used Macca Root a natural powder that can increase fertility for about a month prior to falling.

Good luck and I really hope that you are successful soon.

Barbara - posted on 03/13/2010

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Several things could be happening you need a Drs visit. You may have poly cystic ovaries and they can put you on something like metforman (many people use this for diabeties) my one daughter used it for awhile and it worked. Also most women are low on B vitamins. a Multi B vit. Women use more B vits then men but please see your Dr. My girlfriend used the B vits for one month and got pregnant.

Ashley - posted on 03/13/2010

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i have this website you an get on its for ttc women and its called cafemom they are very supportive and they can help you with all of your questions i have been ttc for only 3 months but it feels like a year

Karen - posted on 03/13/2010

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I too found getting pregnant frustrating. There were other stressful things around the same time which I'm certain had an impact too. My cycle was a bit all over and I found it helpful to get one of those digital fertility thermometers and used a site called fertility friend to plot the temperatures and it helped me predict when I might be ovulating etc

I tried to eliminate the stress (easier than it sounds I know) and stop worrying about it as that in itself was causing stress and then sure enough it happened. Try the thermometer, try to chill and most of all good luck!! x

[deleted account]

I believe the hardest part is trying for a baby... Relax, don't think about it, just have sex often, take vitamins that have folic acid in them, eat healthy and get enough exercise, don't over do it though. If your fertile it will happen on it's own. My husband and I have decided to TTC our 2nd child. With the first I was on BC for a yr, then 2 month after getting off we conceived our son, but we weren't officially trying to conceive. And it also helps if you have a very supporting OB! Good luck, sending babydust your way!!!

Andrea - posted on 03/13/2010

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We tried for seven months to conceive, and every woman friend of mine who could be pregnant was. It was VERY difficult! The best advice, which is difficult to follow, relax! Get yourself feeling well, exercise, drink lots of water, maybe yoga. The ovulation predictors, and body temperature charts did not work for me. (They made me more stressed out) As soon as your period ends you should have intercourse around the same time of day, every other day! It is a lot, but it does work. It should work. But talking to your doctor will be the best for you. There are medications out there that can stimulate your ovaries, if you are feeling like you have done everything else.

Good luck to you!

Pamela - posted on 03/13/2010

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Hi Donna,



I know how u feel! My husband and i were trying for about 7 years before I FINALLY fell pregnant. I had the irregular periods, they were so painful that i wold be in tears most of the time. I was told by several docs that i suffered fromPCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom), which is pretty close in symptoms to Endometriosis. We had tests done on his sperm and my eggs, everything was fine, i went to a herbalist, then a fertility specialist to see if we could get ivf or something and was told in a not so nice way, that it was my fault we weren't falling pregnant because i was overweight (i was, and still am), i was absolutely heartbroken from this. So for years it was a rollercoaster of things and finally my mum told me of a friends friend who had had cancer and because of the treatment couldn't have children, they went to an accupuncturist who specialises in woman, and she now has 2 children. So i started going to the same accupuncturist, and she told me that it would take about a year of tretment to get my body ready before i would fall pregnant, about 3 or 4 weeks later, i was pregnant! I couldn't believe it! I was always anti-acupuncturist, i didn't want anyone sticking needles into my body, but i am so for it now, it doesn't hurt and look at the result it gave me! Goodluck with getting your baby, i hope everything works out for u.

Vanity - posted on 03/13/2010

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I'm trying to get pregnant in july but by planning to have a baby on that month probably won't work I think.

Ivy - posted on 03/13/2010

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Well you said it's driving you crazy and that's probably exactly that. When I am stressed my monthlies become more painful and not timely, I also sometimes have them more than once a month if I'm extremely stressed. It sounds like you need to destress. Then maybe it will just happen. Both times I've been pregnant, just as I quit trying I was pregnant.

Erika - posted on 03/12/2010

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Hi Donna,I work for a specialist gyneacologist and do the following. It is worth a try.Firstly you need to regulate your cycle and hormones. To do that you must go onn a very light contraceptive (pill) for at least 3 months. When your cycle is regular you can stop the pill after 3 months. Then you must establish when and if you are ovulating.To do that you must wait for your cycle to start.After your 1st full day of menstruation you count 12 days, on day 12 you go to your gynea for a scan to see if you have a folical. Your gynea then must send you to the laboratory for E2 and LH blood counts.This normally should be done 3 days in a row or 3 x times every second day. The Dr will be able (on the results of the E2 & LH) be able to tell you if you and when you are ovulating. This normally happens after the 2nd months trial. Because some women dont have 28 day cycles, but 30 and even 34 day cycles. Then by die 3rd month your gynea will be able to tell you when you are ovulating and would advise you when to make love to your husband. If you are not ovulating then he can do alternative surgical procedures eg. laparoscopy to clean and open the fallopian tubes and see if there is a problem and thereafter maybe offer you help with fertility tablets to take during your cycle.It can be a rather long process and costly.

Danielle - posted on 03/12/2010

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yeah it is all in the mans health also not just the woman. my hubby got active and bam i was pregnant we tried for wver a year and when we stopped trying and just enjoyed eachother it happened lol. so destress yourself... easier said than done. and itll happen.

Tejinder - posted on 03/12/2010

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the 1st thing is to get yourself chked to get normal monthlies controlled flow and less pain...do meditation and yoga if u can....calm urself...and thing will happen the way u want them to b....

Cindy - posted on 03/12/2010

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Ask your family doctor to test you for hypothyroidism, (low thyroid) even if the blood test comes back normal find a pharmacy that formulates iodine and sells it over the counter. Your symptoms are exactly like mine. It was low thyroid that did not show up until later. Low thyroidism does not always show up until the levels are very low. YOu may also be interested in phenylalanine or the DL form of it (DLPA) It impacts the thyroid and hormones. The other thing is you could be too low on iron that greatly impacts the production of hormones in the body.

[deleted account]

You could possibly have endometriosis (painful periods) or PCOS -Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome...which is actually what i have...Periods all over the place...inability to ovulate on my own without Clomid and a host of other issues to go with it...I had one child with no problems and ended up with all sorts of these problems after her....good luck and talk to your doctor about fertility tests such as FSH levels. and PCOS & Endometriosis

Sakirah - posted on 03/12/2010

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If you are constantly trying it will not happen. Try to enjoy being with your partner without any expectation. I tried to get pregnant for a year and finally gave up. I decided to get back to nursing school and 4 weeks into the master program, i got pregnant. When you don't have any expectation, it works. I know that fertility accupuncture help with some of my friends. Good luck.

Chelsey - posted on 03/12/2010

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if your having painful cycles you might have cysts. have you had an ultrasound or a pap smear done lately? you can buy over the counter ovulation kits to track when your ovulating. i know it took literally once to get pregnant with my first baby. but to get pregnant with my daughter we tried for 6 plus months. if your really concerned about it i'd seek the help of your gyno. they'd be able to see if your capable of getting pregnant or if there's a problem. other than that just keep trying and give it time. it'll happen when its the best time for it. good luck and god bless you!

Amber - posted on 03/12/2010

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Have you tried prenatal vitamins? Not the over the counter ones but see if your doctor will write a prescription for you. They have folic acid which is what keeps a pregnancy going. Also strawberries contain lots of folic acid!!!

Fiona - posted on 03/12/2010

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I was in the same boat 2 years ago. My husband & I were trying for a year and no luck, until I found a device called 'Maybe Baby'. It tests the estrogen levels in your saliva and you can pin point when you're ovulating. It's a little microscope the size of a lipstick and what you do is put some saliva on it, press the light button and look through, if u see little ferns you're ovulating but if u only see spots or nothing at all then you're not ovulating. Certainly works for us because we bought the maybe baby in February and we conceived in March and now have a healthy baby boy born Dec 2009. May also work to help with gender selection. Want a boy? Have sex right on ovulation day (when u see lots of dark ferns). Want a girl? Have sex when u start to see the ferns forming. They sell for around $70 brand new but I just bought mine off ebay for half that price. Good Luck!

[deleted account]

I thought it would be easy to get pregnant after our first one. But nope. After going off the pill, I had no cycles. NOthing for 2 years. They checked my hormone levels, fine. Everything seemed fine. Even tried a mild fertility drug that gets your body to cycle. It worked but still did not get pregnant. I finally just relaxed and kind of gave up and before I knew it, I was preg. Didn't know how far a long as I had not been cycling. ended up being 10 wks preg when I found out i was preg.

Robyn - posted on 03/12/2010

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Donna,

You need to see a fertility specialist as nicky said. I tried for 2 1/2 years and discovered I had polycistic Ovary Syndrome, it is quite common in women apparently. It bascially cysts on your ovaries which can cause hormonal imbalances and your periods can be all over the place.

Di - posted on 03/12/2010

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Hi Donna - my suggestion - go to your doc & get a referral to see a specialist - sounds like you have endo to me which could possibly be why your not falling . Best of luck with everything & I hope it happens soons for you :)

[deleted account]

i was the same, get your dr to test for polycystic ovarian syndrome, i just found out that this is what i have, and why i havn't been getting pregnant. if you have this then you can work out the best way for you to get pregnant after that.

Mary E - posted on 03/12/2010

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this is odd but true-the birth control pill will regulate your monthly cycle and 1 missed pill guess what that means?!

Sandra - posted on 03/12/2010

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I am so sorry to hear this. Please be patient and have faith and it will come to you!! Sometimes it is harder when you get irregular periods, but maybe if you don't stress too much they will come regualr. I waited 4yrs to get pregnant and believe meI know the frustration. Patience and not thinking about it sooo much works out. I wish you the best and you will conceive a beautiful baby!! Good Luck

Kathryn - posted on 03/12/2010

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this might seem weird but try going on birth control to regulate you for 6 months then go off and your periods should stay regular then. also you could end up being one of those when who actually ovulates at an off time like maybe even during your period.

Kathryn - posted on 03/12/2010

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this might seem weird but try going on birth control to regulate you for 6 months then go off and your periods should stay regular then. also you could end up being one of those when who actually ovulates at an off time like maybe even during your period.

Melissa - posted on 03/12/2010

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All of these sound like great replies and sound advice. I want to tell you that my husband and I tried to conceive for seven (7) years. We are both in our mid-thirties and finally decided that I was coming to the age that it would possibly be harmful to become pregnant. Last October, we had decided to get my tubes tied, so that I didn't become pregnant while in my 40's (we were just going to get a puppy). I was to have my initial appointment for that in January, however we found out in December that we were pregnant! I am now almost 20 weeks and doing fine. My only advice to you is to make a list of possible causes & go through them one by one with your doc. ALSO make sure that your partner is checked. Most health insurance policies will cover the fertility tests, but nothing beyond that. Good luck to you.

Heather - posted on 03/12/2010

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I know a lady who couldn't get pregnant, similar issues.... She ended up going on birth control to regulate her hormones and get her regular, and a month or so after she came off the pill she got pregnant. That's how she got pregnant with both of her girls and how she's planning on having another one soon. It sounds kind of weird to go on the pill so you can get pregnant, but it's something you may want to consider...........

Robin - posted on 03/12/2010

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Here is my interesting story. I had always been irregular since menses began at 16. I was married for 7 years, no children. Divorced the philandering husband, emotions drove me to very simple eating, lost weight, met my now husband and was pregnant in 2 months (age 23). After nursing and my menses returned they slowly dwindled down to once a year. We then began a quest for healthier eating and started eathing the Dr. John McDougall way (vegan) not to get pregnant but just live better. Within a few months of eating this way I was monthly like clockwork less pain, shorter menses, lost weight, etc. It was certainly easier to get pregnant when regular. I conceived again at age 40, we now have two sons. My guess is all of the hormones, pesticides, and antibiotics in the meat were messing with my delicate system. I have been regular now for probably 15 years and we eat mostly vegan and organic.

I also have a friend that used to live next door to us, they wanted to get pregnant so badly. They did all of the fertility options including in vitro several times to no avail. They gave up on small town living, moved into the city (their DINK house we call it with all of the technology and payment to boot). Within 3-4 months they were pregnant, I think because they gave up and relaxed.

I hope all that gives you some ideas to help ;- )

Marnyka - posted on 03/12/2010

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This is coming from someone who is an energy healer, so take the information as you wish. It seems like you are not taking time for yourself and your spread too thin..your energy is scattered all over the place. Even though you think you are putting alot of focus on having a baby. How are you about being able to receive...compliments, offers or help from others, receiving what your worth? Do you have any walls up about getting hurt or protecting yourself from getting hurt? For the rest of the month, focus on all the ways you can recieve, including receiving a baby. Everything is in perfect order. Even if you don't understand it. Open youreself up to receive and relax, relax, relax. Babies pick thier parents. So be the parent that loves themselves 100% first. Then you will always have more than enough love for your children that are on their way! They're waiting for you.

[deleted account]

I'd get help for the pain, but give it a bit longer for the pregnancy. I tried for over a year to get pregnant with my second before it finally happened. And she came at the perfect time. I couldn't imagine trying to deal with my oldest 2 if they were any closer together. God knows what he is doing and the perfect timing for you.

Julia - posted on 03/12/2010

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hi well when a woman is ovulating is a week before their monthlies and a week after getting their monthlies so that's the best time to try to get pregnant. Don't think about it just have fun with your partner and enjoy it all night long. lol It worked out pretty well for me so good luck i wish you the very best.

Claudia - posted on 03/12/2010

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After you have done all your work up and everything is turning up fine health wise, the best thing I can suggest is just RELAX! Forget about everybody else and chill out. I worked for ob/gyns for many years and saw lots of women trying to get pregnant that didn't have any health problems except for stress about not getting pregnant. Eventually when they just figured out that it wasn't going to happen and forgot all about it, they got pregnant!

Sarah - posted on 03/12/2010

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I highly recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. I used this book for both natural birth control and pregnancy achivement. This will help you figure out what is going on with your cycles and see if you can conceive before seeking fertility treatment. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Generally if you're ovulating, you'll feel a little spacey or tired, and noticable tenderness and swelling in your breasts. Also, try to have sex only around the times when you feel like your ovulating. Men only produce so many strong swimmers a month, and your chances of getting pregnant are better if the sperm count is higher.

Jennifer - posted on 03/12/2010

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Hi, I've been there....your best bet to start is one of those fertility monitors. Even when I went for treatment from a fertility doctor, he recommended using the monitor in conjunction with treatment. So they really do work.....hang in there. The answer could be very simple, and it is all worth it in the end.

Cynthia - posted on 03/12/2010

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We tried for 16 years - part of the problem was my hormones were out of balance. I haven't read all of the responses here; but I agree, for the most part, with the ones I have: ask for help. Find someone who will work through the basics to find the root of the problem. My ob/gyn did one test, said nothing was wrong with me and sent me on my way to keep trying. My nutritionist did a detailed study, found the hormonal imbalance and we worked from there. It might have been a year later that we got pregnant! I was 38 at the time. Don't give up!!

Cara - posted on 03/12/2010

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we tried for a little over 10 months before conceiving. I didn't have any other problems though. You should go see a doctor too. A blood test just isn't enough there are other tests that can be done.

Brittani - posted on 03/12/2010

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try to relax. you've heard i'm sure of couples who try to get pregnant and then give up thinking it's not possible and end up adopting or just giving up in general, and then get pregnant? it really is true. you need to relax! spend the weekend with soft music, soothing aromatherapy such as candles, incense, essential oils, whichever you like best, and do whatever it is that relaxes you the MOST. whether it's reading a book, cuddling with your honey, anything.

Stephanie - posted on 03/12/2010

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Hi I to tried for months to get pregnant. My Periods are usually every three to four months apart and even then I am not to sure if I am going to have it or not. I had to be refered to a specialist. I was tested for lots of stuff and eventually found out that I was not ovalating so there was no need for my body to have a period. I had to go on a drug called Clomed and it worked, it worked the first time. Now I am trying to get pregnant again and tried the Clomed a dozen times. It has not worked but I have gone through tests again and it is not the clomed not working, see they said that it is harder for women that are heavy or over weight to get pregnant and after my first child I gained weight and on top of my periods being the way they are and not ovelating I was told that it would be nearly impossible to get pregnant. I was told to loose weight and then the drugs would probly work again. This is very commin for women that do not have their periods on a regular basis to have a hard time getting pregnant and having to go on some type of drug to help them get pregnant. I know a few other women like me and they have to do the exact thing. Polysistic overies are very commin in this. I was told by my specialist that everyone has sist on their overies but some have more than others and that causes a little bit of problems (your periods not being regular and problems getting pregnant) also if you have pain then these sists are breaking and that is what causes you pain sometimes. Nothing to worry about to much I am not trying to scare you. I am fine with what I have I just have to go see a specialist every time I want to get pregnant.

Angie - posted on 03/12/2010

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Stop trying, best advice!! It works..............your probably trying too hard if that makes any sense. I thought it would never happen when I got pregnant the 1st time (though it ended in a miss carriage). 5-6 months later I got pregnant with my daughter, we did not try so hard and even made things little more exciting then just oh it's time again to start trying. Good luck!!

Lynn - posted on 03/12/2010

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Acupunture or acupressure would be wonderful for you. Also, remember that what you think & act is what you create. Know with every fiber of your being that it will happen. Feel what it would feel like to be pregnant. Find books, CD's DVD' s on positive affirmations and creative visualizations. Louise Hay's books on affirmations are incredible. Using your thoughts to change your life is a science. There are many great books out there supporting this. Biology of Belief, Living with Intention, Change your thoughts change your Life... Enjoy, trust, know!

Lynn - posted on 03/12/2010

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Acupunture or acupressure would be wonderful for you. Also, remember that what you think & act is what you create. Know with every fiber of your being that it will happen. Feel what it would feel like to be pregnant. Find books, CD's DVD' s on positive affirmations and creative visualizations. Louise Hay's books on affirmations are incredible. Using your thoughts to change your life is a science. There are many great books out there supporting this. Biology of Belief, Living with Intention, Change your thoughts change your Life... Enjoy, trust, know!

Lynn - posted on 03/12/2010

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Acupunture or acupressure would be wonderful for you. Also, remember that what you think & act is what you create. Know with every fiber of your being that it will happen. Feel what it would feel like to be pregnant. Find books, CD's DVD' s on positive affirmations and creative visualizations. Louise Hay's books on affirmations are incredible. Using your thoughts to change your life is a science. There are many great books out there supporting this. Biology of Belief, Living with Intention, Change your thoughts change your Life... Enjoy, trust, know!

BRIDGET - posted on 03/12/2010

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Honey I have commented on this subject many times. We have a daughter who just turned 8 on Feb 27th. We have never not tried to have another one and all these years nothing. Everyone tells you it will happen when its meant and to stop trying and it will happen. I heard that soooo much that I wanted to punch people if they said that to me again. I just found out on March 1st that I was about 6 weeks pregnant and by March 6th My mother passed away. I am due Oct 26th the day before my mothers birthday. I truly believe now that God has his own time for things to happen. God waited to give us this baby now instead of years ago, because it was a way to get through this loss. My mom was only 53 and had so much life left to live but she and god knew what was coming and it happened for me. So I want to tell you please have faith in who or whatever you believe to be true and know that when you really need it most it will happen. I will pray for you that you will be blessed in the most unexpected moment and you will know thats why it happened at that moment of your life. Best of luck to you and here is some baby dust *********.....

Melissa - posted on 03/12/2010

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I have a couple suggestions for you. A lot will depend on which way you want to go. When I was younger I had trouble with very irregular periods and they were VERY painful. I was raised using natural medicine and was told about an herb called Blessed Thistle. I took 6 pills a day ( 3 in the morning and 3 at night) to regulate my periods. Once you get them going in the right direction, getting pregnant will be easier. If you don't want to do that, you can always try the thermometer method. You take your temperature every day before you get out of bed and chart it. When your temp changes you're ovulating. Wheat Germ oil is also good to take, it increases fertility naturally.



Hope this helps. Good luck!!

Andrea - posted on 03/13/2010

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We tried for seven months to conceive, and every woman friend of mine who could be pregnant was. It was VERY difficult! The best advice, which is difficult to follow, relax! Get yourself feeling well, exercise, drink lots of water, maybe yoga. The ovulation predictors, and body temperature charts did not work for me. (They made me more stressed out) As soon as your period ends you should have intercourse around the same time of day, every other day! It is a lot, but it does work. It should work. But talking to your doctor will be the best for you. There are medications out there that can stimulate your ovaries, if you are feeling like you have done everything else.

Good luck to you!

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