I've Had Enough Breastfeeding

Elizabeth - posted on 02/28/2014 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I have been breastfeeding my daughter with the occasional bottle of formula for 8 weeks now and all I think about is whether she is getting enough to eat, how come I can't pump enough, why is she always so fussy with me? I went back to work this week and had been trying to pump at work, I barely get an ounce per breast, which is not enough to feed her. She takes about 4-6 ounces per feeding. I think she has a poor latch, she gets frustrated that my milk isn't as fast as the bottle and she has been sleeping through the night for about 2 weeks (1030ish-7ish). I spend all night from 530-10 trying to breastfeed and it is torturous for me and her. She gets upset, I get upset. I know its selfish but I don't think I can continue to live like this. My doctor already diagnosed me with postpartum depression and now I resent my daughter. She is this happy, content baby with everyone but me. She seems content with formula and bottles. I just wonder if she will be upset with no more expressed milk or nursing. Am I horrible mother for just wanting to enjoy my daughter and give up breastfeeding??

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Mahajananika - posted on 02/28/2014

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Whether the milk is coming or not just make her suck... its just our thinking that milk is not coming, but its not the reality.... she will b satisfied as this depwnds on demand and supply..

Alison - posted on 03/15/2014

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Breastfeeding is really hard. I breastfeed my daughter, now 2, until she was 14 months old. I had countless problems with breastfeeding (she wouldn't latch, I needed a nipple shield for 3 months, I couldn't pump more than an ounce, let down was painful, etc.) I quit breastfeeding when I had gotten a yeast infection on my breasts; enough was enough! If I could go back I wouldn't have breastfeed that long. She was very upset that I wouldn't breastfeed after 14 months, but she doesn't remember, now. You are not a bad mother if you stop breastfeeding. It is causing you too much stress and it's making you unhappy. You said she seems content with formula and a bottle so, she probably won't be upset when you stop breastfeeding. Even if she does get upset; she will forget. I know doctors say breast milk is best but is it really best when it is making you resentful and miserable? You can be a better mother to your daughter when you are stress free.

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Elizabeth - posted on 03/12/2014

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I am glad that you have been able to relax and keep breastfeeding and everything is working out for you. Babies can be really demanding, especially when they're going through growth spurts and with breastfeeding that's all on mom.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/12/2014

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You definitely are not a horrible mother if you don't want to nurse your daughter. It sounds like you are really stressed out. I breastfed my daughter when she was a baby but I wasn't working at a job also and I know I had bad luck with the breastpump. I don't think I would have been able to work and nurse her at the same time. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/07/2014

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Thank you all for the advice. Just sharing my feelings has made a difference. Hearing your encouragement has definitely helped ease my stress. Since posting this I've started to relax and enjoy my daughter. My milk has been coming in better and she is satisfied. Once I made the decision to supplement with formula we barely use it, she is full and content when I breastfeed or a bottle of my milk while at work. Thank you again for your positive thoughts and kind words

Chandra - posted on 03/06/2014

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your daughter isn't trying to be fussy with you she can feel your tension which is causing her to be cranky , it's hard being a mother especially a working mom that's more added pressure more worries responsibilities and concerns , If your worried about milk production try drinking a beer with hops you know one of those wheat based beers and make sure its two hours before her next feeding, if you dont want to do that try beef soup beef broth is great for lactaton I recommend pho it worked wonders for me , try drinking an extra glass of milk, or coconut water/milk, and pump before and after each feeding , sometimes the lack of production can send mothers into postpartum , if your worried about how she latches on call a lactation specialist with the hospital she was born with they have classes on how to help with the latch.....It's hard it really is but if your not happy your babies not happy it's not selfish , take some time to yourself , have a family member watch her for an hour so you can go for a walk/run/bath whatever you did to relieve stress before she was born , if your like me and you dont have anyone to help try and go for frequent walks if she wont nap go for a walk bring her favorite toy if she wont sleep at night walk if she is fussy cranky teething walk walk walk , it's great for a positive flow of energy and the noises and trees and lights should keep her distracted and you as well , but if none of this works then maybe formula is best for you and your daughter so you can create a bond that you both so badly want and need .I hope everything works out for you xo

Dawnita - posted on 03/05/2014

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Honestly, i agree with everyone else: Do what will make you happy because in the end it will make for a better experience for you and your child. Remember, sometimes breastfeeding is simply a way of bonding with your child. That means that sometimes babies treat the nipples as pacifiers and could care less about eating, but just want to be close to you. With that said, maybe you can doformula for the sake of nourishment and nursing for bonding time. Either way, do what makes you happy so you can continue the happy vibes towards your baby.

Jordan - posted on 03/04/2014

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Don't beat yourself up. I tried to breast feed my daughter but she was to lazy and I ended up pumping for a month and bottle feeding. After that tho I was so frustrated bc every time I pumped she would b crying. So I gave her formula and never looked back. She's 2 now and so incredibly smart! Ur not gonna hurt anything by giving ur child formula. And u will enjoy the journey just a little more too. :) believe me!!

Lisa - posted on 03/03/2014

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It doesn't make you a bad mother that you want to keep your daughter happy? She is happy with the formula and you are happy. Great! I breastfed my son until he was 2,5 but he would not touch formula. He would scream if he saw a bottle. How do I know if he would have liked formula I might have given him formula if that had worked better. Every child and every parent-child relationship is unique and the most important thing is that you do what works best for you and your baby. You need to feel content and don't do things that doesn't stress you out .Good luck!

Kellie - posted on 03/02/2014

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If you are that unhappy, stop torturing yourself over what society thinks is the right answer, and do what's right for you. Bottle fed babies can be just as healthy as breastfed babies. You tried breastfeeding, it didn't work out. It's absolutely fine to bottle feed now.

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Oh goodness - if you are this unhappy and not enjoying your little one, then just stop. I say this as someone who breastfed both my children for almost 18 months and had latch issues for the first several weeks. Formula is okay. Formula is better if it means you are able to be the kind of mother you want to be, especially if you're also dealing with PPD. In other words, just do what your heart tells you to do for the sake of your baby, you and your relationship. If you want to continue, go see a lactation consultant (your pediatrician may have one on staff and it won't cost you, and I found them to be much more helpful than LLL when we were having issues). But, if it's not something you truly want to continue with, then just stop and don't let anyone villainize the choices you know are best for your family.

Julie - posted on 03/01/2014

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Have you spoken with a La Leche League leader? They are really helpful. Maybe they could help before you stop.

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