I've NEVER had an orgasm.... HELP!!

Erinn - posted on 04/10/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I'm 30 years old and have NEVER had an orgasm!! I feel like a freak! My husband has tried to help, but nothing!! Whats wrong with me? Are some women just incapable of having one?? I'm tired of feeling left out! Anything I could take that could help...... am I the only one with this problem?? HELP ME!!

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Tammy - posted on 04/10/2009

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Well I have been having them since I was little and to tell you the truth I did not know when I had an orgasm that is what it was. I would have them so quickly that I never realized it was an orgasm that I was having. I had to read my body and talk to my partner before I came to realiztion of what it actually was. Could this be you?

Carol - posted on 04/10/2009

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I just learned this myself as for i have ever only had one orgasmin my self and that was right after my first child.. talk about a very long time! But some womens G-spot is higher than other womens.  Which in return would explain why you don't orgasimn on a regular basis. As mentioned above there are lots of toys that may do the trick. There is one called ORAL-G. To give you a little information: This 10 speed waterproof vibrator is perfect for clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Oral-G's stimaular will provide just the right amount pleasure. My sister is a pure romance consultant and sells a whole lot of toys.. www.pureromance.com 



take a look at that website. good luck! oh and they also host free parties.. two great consultants are Christina Erickson and Liz Sims





Nikki - posted on 02/17/2014

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I have always found it hard to orgasm and I don't know why I am 23 years old I thought it would be easier for me but I was obviously wrong. I feel bad because my partner tries so hard to pleasure me but I just don't know what to do. I love it when we have sex don't get me wrong when I do manage to orgasm it's amazing but it comes on so quick and it doesn't last long at all and it only happens once. And when he goes down on me I find it hard to relax and I start to laugh because it tickles then I feel so stupid. I just want to know what I am doing wrong and is there any way I would be able to relax more. PLEASE HELP!!

Rebecca - posted on 04/10/2009

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Hi Erinn,



My suggestion is to try out a few different things on your own possibly including some adult toys to help you become aware of yourself and what feels good to you.  I would suggest doing this by yourself when you don't have to worry about children interrupting and when you can be relaxed.  Once you become comfortable with yourself and are able to reach orgasm on your own, then you will be able to work on having one with your husband.  You are in no way a "freak" or anything else.  It is not uncommon for women to have difficulties having orgasms and having simultanious orgams with a partner takes a lot of practice.  I wish you all the best!

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Terina - posted on 03/22/2013

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90 percent of the time I had intercouse I would not orgasm. When I got pregnant the first time I orgasmed through my whole pregnancy every time. After I had my baby sex is spectacular now 90 percent of the time I orgasm. It's amazing and don't know how it happened but praise The Lord everyday for it ! Does any one know how this miracle happened?

Jessica - posted on 04/10/2009

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silver bullet is a little silver colored vibrator on a cord that looks like a big bullet. Variable speed, some come with two bullets on one. They are good for clitoral stimulation. They are super cheap (like 10bucks)~ getcha one!

Samantha - posted on 04/10/2009

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Lots of interesting answers here, I must admit some I have never heard off, like what is a Rampant Rabbit and a silver bullet???

April - posted on 04/10/2009

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I agree with everyone, I didnt have my first orgasm until I was forty. I bought the silver bullet and I love it. I use it during intercourse and it works. without it I get nothing. Good luck and dont worry, it will happen. It is true that women hit there peak in there 40's.

Jessica - posted on 04/10/2009

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Hi, my friend TammieJoe is a FYP consultant. She said if you email her she can help you find what you need. Her email is tjbanasiak@yahoo.com. She is an awesome person ~ Good luck!

Amy - posted on 04/10/2009

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You know, I have a really hard time having one while having sex. I've found that the best way is to have BOTH clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Try a vibrator that has a curved tip, and have your husband use it on you while you do your own thing with the other area. That seems to work best for me. Good Luck. It took me a while to be able to do it but once I did, I was in the zone.  :-)

Rachel - posted on 04/10/2009

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are you in america?? do you not have ann summers over there? we have them in england they are sex shops aimed towards women there not sleezy, but if you still weren't comfy going into a sex shop they do have a website

Rachel - posted on 04/10/2009

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i agree with everyone here, i'd just like to add if you don't want to use toys, a tube of lube and a dirty book are another alternative a couple of hours in the house on your own and you'll be oooooooooooooooo-ing away ;-) have fun trying lol

Yamila - posted on 04/10/2009

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i agree with everyone you just need to relax and take it day by day to find out what works for you but dont worry it will get better....

Jeanette - posted on 04/10/2009

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Erinn, I absolutely agree with Rebecca. You need to try some stuff on your own first and experiment to see what you like. This can be tricky because there are many different things to take into consideration such as location to stimulate, amount of pressure used, type of pressure, position you are in when you are attempting this, etc. And it can actually vary with your hormones in your menstrual cycle, too.



I agree that toys might be an option for you. If you are uncomfortable going into an adult store, there are many web sites with stuff available, and most of them ship it to you in very discreet packaging. Another thing that works for some women is simple hand-held shower heads with different water pressure settings. Or some women have success by themselves when they lay face down ontop of a bunched up pillow or blanket and kind of rub against it - the indirect clitoris stimulation works better for them.



Try to relax. That will only make it more difficult, too. Make sure you have plenty of time to spend on your experimentation. If you have it in your mind that you need to find a way to orgasm you are only putting stressful pressure on yourself and will be that much more difficult to enjoy it. However, if you begin with the thought of simply trying to find out what you like or don't like, it will be easier for you to enjoy it and hopefully "get there."

Jessica - posted on 04/10/2009

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PS: if you need anything, I can hook you up with a catalog~ For Your Pleasure. It's really great, and has a TON of different things. In response to Rebecca's post, I am one of those "wierd" women who can't stand playing alone (yep, this IS wierd!) so you may not have as good of luck here. It's also fun to explore with your partner. Adds a little spice into your life. Also, try the silver bullet~ they are the most common, inexpensive toys that may work as a clitoral stimulator. That's work works for me : )

Helen - posted on 04/10/2009

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try a rampant rabbit - my husband loves using it on me and i dont mind either lol!!!!

Jessica - posted on 04/10/2009

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so my friend is a dealer of toys. There is a certain toy something called the "g-spot" and supposedly it works. I don't think you are alone~ you just gotta find what works with a little exploration!

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