I wanna really want to have children, should i married first?

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Brianna - posted on 06/24/2012

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i think it would make ur life easier to be married first thats from my own experience. i got pregnant (surprise pregnancy) with my bf of 5 years. we got engaged when i was like 8 month along. but so many people treated me like a was a slut just because i wasnt married. a nurse at the hospital had the nerve to ask me if i new who my babys daddy was! i was like ya i own a home with him and have been with him for 5 years! also luckly we where married 8 months after my daughter was born so i didnt have to deal with this problem for long but it really sucks when ur child doesnt have the same last name as you. also planning a wedding with a baby took all the run out of wedding planning cuz i couldnt get anything done cuz i always had a baby that needed my attention. but at the end of the day its really up to you when u have kids and if ur married or not.

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Jenni - posted on 06/24/2012

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Hi Jeana,



My spouse and I are not married and have been together for 6 years. We had our first about a year in a half into our relationship. Although we didn't plan to have children yet. We did plan our second child. In my province we have common-law status which is virtually the same as being married from a legal standpoint especially when children are involved.



I do at times feel a bit pressured by society to marry but I've just never personally been that interested in marriage. I'm sure we will eventually... lol. But really, it hasn't been a pressing issue for us. I say I'm married, I call my spouse; my husband.



Anyways, I've read a few articles stating how more and more common couples are having children without marrying. Some choose to get married later, for some it's just not that important.



The only concerns I would have is from a legal standpoint. If you don't need a ceremony and legal documents to solidify your relationship, so be it. It's your choice. The option is always there to get married later. For some of us women, we don't really fantasize about our dream wedding like others. That's me, I'm not much of a romantic type and I don't like having all attention on me for the day. The idea of a traditional marriage ceremony sounds like absolute torture to me; the planning, the cost, the attention on me, the stress etc.



What I would do if I were you is to perhaps research the privileges of marriage in your region. The laws and such, just to be sure you are safe from a legal standpoint. How does your spouse feel about this decision to have children?

Stifler's - posted on 06/24/2012

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Just because some marriages end in divorce is no reason to not get married if that's what you want to do.

Jeana - posted on 06/24/2012

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I am 26 years old and our happy relationship is about 5 years. Will it be quite enough, being mother and father without marriage? Most marriage ends with divorce, kind of hate it...

Or maybe i have to adopting a children? What about that?

Stifler's - posted on 06/24/2012

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Yes. The wedding with your kids there is no fun. It's no fun pregnant either. Been there done that.

Sharlene - posted on 06/24/2012

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I agree with what the other mums are asking you but you also have to ask yourself are you ready for a baby with a father or without a father. You just cant marry for the sake of you wanting a baby. Are you in a healthy relationship?

Johnny - posted on 06/23/2012

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Are you able to support yourself and your child without help? Do you have a particular person in mind to be the father? Are you in a committed relationship but just not married? It's impossible to begin to answer a question like this without more details about your situation.

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