Ashley - posted on 10/03/2012 ( 27 moms have responded )
My husband and I have been together for 6 years and we have been married for a little over two years. We have a two year old son. He was an unexpected addition to our lives, but has brought us joy. We have a great marriage and are best friends. Before we were married and when we starting dating; I always stated I wanted three children. My husband was always fine with this. Now that my son is two years old I would like to try for #2 within the next two years. All of the sudden my husband says he doesn't want any more kids. I was so hurt by this because all of the sudden he has changed his mind. We live in a two family house my parents own on the first floor (they just remodeled for us) and they live on the second floor. We both have good jobs and make good money. We get free child care when we need it from my parents and sisters who live upstairs. We have all of the equipment and clothes we need for #2; so the expense would be less. He says our son now is a lot of work and that babies are a lot of work. To me this is a selfish excuse. Everyone knows being a parent and taking care of children takes work. Also we had a wonderful baby who slept through the night at 2 months old (once in a while he would wake up until six months). I breastfed him so I always got up and I was always the one feeding him. I made all of his baby food from scratch. He is a happy toddler with a funny personality and is starting to talk and play more with us. He is healthy and we have been blessed. I can't help but have this burning desire to have another child. I can't picture my life without another child. I have more love to give and I want my son to have a sibling. If and when we die I want them to still have each other. I have two sisters and I want that same joy I had in my life for my son now. Also all we have and leave behind in this world is our children. I feel as though I will forever resent my husband for taking this away from me. I feel like he is being selfish and maybe wants more time for himself (he likes to play baseball, fantasy football and baseball, bowling and yadda yadda) and also maybe he is jealous of the time that has been taken away from him since the addition of our son. He says he doesn’t want another one because he is not the best father he could be. He works a lot of hours and he is not going to change that and he doesn’t see our son now. I feel like that is on him and things he can change if he feels like he is lacking as a father. I am so upset and feel like he is being very selfish. Maybe he doesn’t love me as much as I thought he did? I agreed to make a concession and have only two children and let him pick the timeline. He still refuses. I want another child with him. But this seems impossible. Every day it tears at me and I have never been so depressed and felt so cheated.