i want tips on potty training my 3 yr old screams and crys to sit on the potty when u go to put underwear on him he throws a fit no diaper and has hid all his underwear but can tell u when he needs to be changed . PLEASE HELP{

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Rebecca - posted on 01/20/2009

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Hope you are getting some helpful hints. I think each child is different, so you may need to try a few things. I would never force a child to sit on the toilet. At this age, they control two things: what goes in them, and when it comes out! You don't want to create a stressful power struggle.



When I potty-trained my son, I did so when HE was ready. He told me he wanted to wear underwear. I took the diaper off and never looked back! It only took a few days. I made a big to-do each time he used the potty. (I never used a timer.) After he went, we flushed it and sand good-bye, then we did a "pee-pee dance", then we put a sticker on a chart, then he picked out a snack. It was a lot to do after each visit to the potty, but I found much success with it. We both enjoyed it, no tears shed.Lots of praise! (To you, too!)



 



Good luck.

Rei - posted on 01/20/2009

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I have been toilet training toddlers for over 4 years now. Are you giving him choices? When I toilet train, I remove all diapers completely. Then I ask the child to choose which underwar he/she wants to wear (give him a choice of 2-3). Try to make it exciting! You can try using a timer so he knows when they need to go sit on the toilet. If he/she tells you they don't need to go, tell him he has to atleast try for a few minutes. If he screams, tell him he has a choice...he can walk himself to the bathroom or you will carry him. If he throws a tantrum, let him have it. Don't feed into it...tell him to let you know when he's done with the screaming and crying then give him the choice of walking himself or you carrying him to the bathroom (when I mean carry him, you don't want it to be comfortable) Choices are extremely important at this age to avoid power struggles. Just make sure the choices you provide meet the same goal...in your case using the toilet. Also, as difficult as it can be, stay calm and try to make it exciting. Hope this helps.

Pam - posted on 01/20/2009

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I know this story all to well,Iam a mom of four beautiful children,i have a 12 year old son and a 9 year old son,i also have twin girls that are 7,i never really had a problem potty traing the boys,than the lovely ladies came along and i thought i had it down pat......well to my surprise that was not the case lol,one of my daughters trained extremly well,the other not so well,she would do the same thing as your son,hide her panties scream cry and just flat out refuse to be a big girl,after months of being consistent and trying my very harest to make her understand that,indeed big girls pee on the potty i took a different approach with her,i made a pee-pee chart just for her,it was bright colourfull,i also let her design it her self,she was very proud of her art work and even happier to have it displayed on our bathroom wall,every time she would go on the toilet we put a sticker on her chart,i would not wait until the end of the week to reward her because it was to long for her to wait,every second day we would check the chart to see how many stickers she had i would encourage her to count them all up and see how well she had done,and than the surprise would come,she was so excited about this she could hardley wait to go to the bathroom,because she knew that there was a special surprise for her in just a little while,i would go to the dollar store and get crafts,treats,playdoo,things that i knew she would really enjoy doing,i also gave her a sticker on her shirt every day that said "i can do it",she was so proud of herself that after awhile it just became automatic for her to use the potty,i hope this helps you!!!!

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Michelle - posted on 01/20/2009

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I have a 3 year old that trained early. How I don't know, but he did. When I thought he was getting ready I allowed him to come into the bathroom with me. We put a potty in there that he could sit on while I went. I didn't make it a deal, if he wanted to sit on the lid ok, if he went and took down his pants and sit on the seat, it was up to him. I also made it fun for him; I let him flush the big potty when I was done and we always said bye bye pee pee. He decided when he wanted to sit on the big potty and I think the choice really helped him. The other thing was that we allowed him to choose the pull ups and it became a game for him to win. That is, when the stars or cars were still there:) Hope some of these idea's help you. By the way...we adopted him at 20 months and he came from a rocky past so we had other things to get past as well.

Cecilia - posted on 01/20/2009

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When I first tried to potty train my son he was a little over 2yrs old and I found that after fighting with him that he just wasn't ready, so I put him back in diapers, then I tried again 6 months later and it was much easier for us, I used to buy these color drop in "animal shaped" I would ask him what color he was going to potty in that day and we dropped the color in the toilet in the AM - the water would change colors and he would be so excited that he would tell me the minute he had to go, I also put cheerios in the toilet and he would aim at them, making it fun help me and my son .... hope you have better luck and make it FUN!!! so that way it won't seem like a hassel for both of you!

Michelle - posted on 01/20/2009

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Sounds too me that your 3 year old isn't ready to be potty trained...and in my experience, when the child is not ready, then both you and him will be frustrated and will not be successful.  My now just 4 year old boy was not ready when I wanted to potty train him, but then I waited 6 months maybe , shortly before he was 3 1/2 years old and tried again and he was trained in ONE day since he was ready...GOOD LUCK!

Anthea - posted on 01/19/2009

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Its sounds like he is still not ready to train. I'd wait another month then try again but if you really want him to train now then I suggest waiting till all the nappies run out and then stay at home for a good week. I know thats harder than it sounds! Just be consistant, once you say no more nappies, then don't go back, even if it means lots of accidents. I found my kids ran around naked for that whole week because it was easier than trying to negotiate underwear and clothes in time for the toilet. Also at 3 he is prob big enough to use the normal toilet, you could always try that. I put mine on the toilet every 45mins during that 1st week. Lot of hard work but by the end of the week, they were telling me when they needed to go. Lots of rewards too always helps, choc m&m's etc. I could always bribe mine better with chocolate! Anyway have fun, hope this helps

Kieshia - posted on 01/19/2009

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There's no magic age at which children are ready to start learning how to use the potty, but some develop the necessary physical and cognitive skills between 18 and 24 months of age. Many parents don't start potty training until their children are 2 1/2 to 3 years old, when daytime bladder control has become more reliable. And some children aren't interested in potty training until they're closer to 3, or even 4.

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