Laura - posted on 07/15/2011 ( 101 moms have responded )
I am at my breaking point. I just wiped off the egg on my face he just threw at me because he didn’t like the way I was looking at him. He is highly depressed and he takes it out on me. I know we need to separate but I don’t have many options and am scared and confused on what is best for my daughter. Her dad and I have been together 5 years; we have 3 yr old girl. We are completely bankrupt. Our net worth is negative 5 dollars. We are months behind in everything. I spend all day frantically applying for and asking for help, while looking for work. I just recovered from 2 surgeries. 1st one was malpractice which caused the 2nd one. That’s another whole story. The surgeries and recovery time set me back so much I can’t keep up. Meanwhile my partner is highly depressed and blames me for everything taking it out on me. When we met I was into bad things. I have been on the straight and narrow for years now but he still throws it in my face. He has walked out of jobs, lied about them. He so worried about his image, the family is suffering. I have always managed to find a way to hold onto what we have. I worked so hard to get us in nice neighborhood but I can’t keep it up. His lack of help and verbal abusive is causing me to be mentally and physical exhausted. My heath is being affected. To top it all off, instead of being appreciative for holding everything together for so long, he blames me constantly torturing me for every bad situation we are in. He blames me fort things he is doing. I beg for help with paperwork and housekeeping and he ignores me or accuses me of being a nut job, calls me names in front of our daughter then he retreats back into the computer where he plays poker and chat with his friends (and looks for other women) Everyone has told me to leave him but it is not that easy. I am 35 and he is 24 so there is a maturity difference plus he was raised in Mexico so his upbringing and his views on things are different. He has no family here no money and no where to go. I have told him to leave many times and he comes back a few hours later. I don’t want to call authorities because I don’t want my daughter to not have a dad. His paperwork for citizenship had not been finalized so I don’t want him to get deported. At least he will take out daughter to the Park and help her get dressed and bring her to school in the morning. It allows me to have a small break. But that is all he will do. Oh yeah, when I get so feet up with his total lack of respect for things and upkeep, I will stop picking up after him. After a few days he snaps and starts cleaning like a mad man (just general area) but he is screaming at me with the name calling, blaming me for EVERYTHING that is dirty or needed to be put away. I worked so hard to live where I am right now. If I walk away I will never get into another place in a good neighborhood that I can afford. And my past and lack of income will keep me from being accepted in another place. I don’t want to end up in a bad area with druggies and bad people. I could rent a room if I borrowed money built I don’t even know if I anyone will help me. My family is over it. I have been making excuses for him for a long time now. I think they are starting to think that I am the one with the problem
. My car is almost completely shut down. My partner abuses everything we own. He ignores everything I suggest to him. Everything I say is intended for his or my daughters own good. He use to listen and he when he did, good things would happen for him. Bottom line I want to do what is best for my daughter. I want to focus on raising her right. This is such a toxic environment I don’t want her to see and hear these things. I see her behavior changing. She sees him disrespect me everyday. He calls me crack head, trash, garbage, says I do nothing I am lazy, I’m old and ugly. Its not god. I wish I had more options. I live in Jupiter FL. Thanks. My email address is rizzorr @ hotmail .com Hope there’s some advice out there that can help. I see my life just flying by. As every holiday and birthdays go by, it is exhausting. There are major major arguments in those days I think he does it in purpose so he can stay home. How embarrassing that is for me. There’s no cohesive parenting. Anyway enough I have to stop thanks for reading. Please help!