if you had to take your baby to a funeral what would you dress them in?

Melissa - posted on 01/07/2010 ( 48 moms have responded )

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I will have to be attending a funeral for my grandmother soon and i was wondering what do i dress my daughter and do they need to wear black?

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Cheryl - posted on 01/09/2010

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Lessen your stress. It isnt a fashion show. If you need to change a diaper you dont want to miss the service because youre fussing with the baby's clothes in the changing room. You are going thru enough to worry about such petty issues.

Deborah - posted on 01/08/2010

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Dress your baby like you would normally dress her. She doesn't have to wear black.

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48 Comments

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CoffeeMom - posted on 03/17/2011

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My opinion having been to alot of them since my daughter was born. A simple dress or outfit ,muted colors, nothing to fancy.

Kim - posted on 01/11/2010

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I dont really think it matters what you put them in if they are under say 2 years of age. She could just wear whatever she normally wears and long as it neat and stain free. From 2 years of age to 6 years then a smart dress that could be black but still it doesnt need to be. just as long as it not bright colours. If your daughter is of school age and her school uniform is smart (private school) then dress her in that. Hope this helps but remember as long as she is comfy and looks neat she should be fine. and im sorry for your loss.

Denise - posted on 01/11/2010

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I would put her in something cute but probably a dress no jeans everyone loves babies who cares what shes wearing. :) Sorry about your grandmother

Mary - posted on 01/11/2010

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I know when I was a child and my parent took me to a funeral. I could not sleep at night for months aftewards. Children don't understand. Just to tell you about a friend that I used to work with ( it was funny at the tiem but not for the child) You know in some churches we make reference to (HE OR SHE IS GOING HOME) then her nephew looks at her and says "'Ninna " I thought you told me he was dead" she just hugs him because he did not understand. That is why you have to make the right decisions when it comes to a funeral. I know you want to say you last goodbyes and you want all of your family there but think about the long term effects. Grandma will not mind. Amen
lol It's your decision

[deleted account]

If it is at all possible you should not take your babies or small children to the funeral. Babies and small children can be a real comfort to those grieving but the funeral is not that time.

D. Diane - posted on 01/11/2010

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First of all you have my sympathy during your time of loss. As a grandmother now myself, I recall when mine passed away when my kids were young, and as long as they were neat it doesn't matter what they wear, as long as it's comfortable. I wouldn't dress them in black. We want to celebrate life and the memories not dismiss it. I will keep you and your family in my prayers, God Bless you

Mary - posted on 01/10/2010

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Is it nececessary to take a child to a funereal. I'm not sure the age but I would not want to expose my child to a funeral unless it was absolutely necessary or take the child to the nursery at the church and have someone you trust watch the child until the funeral is over and then go back and get the child. It may be a traumatic experience to that child because they do not understand why people are sad and crying. Think about it first. It's your decision but I would not expose my child to a funeral unless I have to.

Amber Lynne - posted on 01/10/2010

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I dressed my son in navy pants and a matching polo shirt for his great grandfather's funeral. We didn't currently have any black, but I think dark colors are also appropriate.

Karen - posted on 01/10/2010

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So sorry to hear about your loss. My husbands grandfather passed away when my twins were 1 1/2 yrs. old. I just put khaki pants on them and a nice sweater they had at the time since his funeral was in January. I brought a lot of books to entertain them during the service too. I don't think they need to wear black. Just put your daughter in the nicest outfit she has that looks appropriate for the occasion. Sorry to hear about your loss.

K - posted on 01/10/2010

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when my mother-in-law died, my daughter was 9 months old .... dressed her in a cheerful pink outift with tiny white sandals and cheerful pink and white bows in her hair .... add her lovely, sparkling, cheerful personality to the outfit and she was a magnet for all the sad people there .... it seemed to give them comfort to hold and cuddle the little baby at the funeral ...... a few people showed their disapproval, but I didn't really care .... my mother-in-law had a great love of life and adored her baby granddaughter [especially in pink] .... so we celebrated her LIFE instead of mourning her passing ..... it seemed fitting ...... in the end, I don't think anyone really remembers what the baby wore ..... do as YOU think best in this situation

Adele - posted on 01/10/2010

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i took my son at 18 month to a funeral an just put him in a black an white shirt an black jeans an when my daughter was 1 i had to take her to my nans fumral an put in my nans fave dress that she baught with all the stuff she knitted to go with it on her an that was pale pink

Pam - posted on 01/10/2010

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It really depends on the age.If they are teenagers.. then yes I would say they would need to dress appropriately in black. As for youth and little children they just need to have on something nice... and my prayers and sympathies are with you.

Lisa - posted on 01/10/2010

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I had to take my son to an out of town funeral he was 8 mths we dressed him in jeans and a nice shirt. she does not need to wear black, just sunday's best. something respectable/clean (if she can keep it that way lol).



we took him mainly so that my extended family could meet him (not everyone was going to get together afterwards) and my husband. We didn't take him in the chapel or the cemetary. we did not want him to make noise. my husband and i took turns paying our respects.



i honestly think it will help your family to see you and her there no matter what she is wearing. happy children will make it a little more bearable for everyone.

Julie - posted on 01/10/2010

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Hi there unfortunately I had to take my 3 week old daughter to my mums funeral as thoy dont live close to me. My daughter wore a white dress, black seems so wrong on a baby, but the other posters are right no one will remember. Hope this helps

Charlene - posted on 01/10/2010

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When I was home visiting family this summer, my great-uncle died. I took my daughter, about a month old at the time and quite frankly, I can't remember what she was wearing and chances are that no one else does either. I think it was a little jersey dress in a yellow, but for the reception at his house she was just in her diaper because it was so hot.

Kathy - posted on 01/10/2010

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Mine was in a white outfit wrapped in a pink swaddleme... it was her grandma's clients funeral, he was handicapped and the girls mom said that she'd rather everyone be dressed in bright colours...

Kimberly - posted on 01/10/2010

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First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss. Funerals tend to be a lot less traditional than they used to be. Even adults tend not to be dressed in black anymore.(depends on how close or closely related they were) I would say, dress the baby in Grandma's favorite color or wrap the baby in something that belonged to or was made by her. Babies, especially at funerals, are a sign of new life beginning where a long life has ended.

Allie - posted on 01/10/2010

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I just took my son to my grandmother's funeral, to be honest, I barely remember what he wore, I think a sweater and jeans. Point being, she's a baby, I don't think it matters unless you have an very formal family; then maybe a dress but I don't think it needs to be black. But I don't think anyone will notice what she wears.

Charlotte - posted on 01/10/2010

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I remember that I had a newborn at two of my grandparent's funerals. One was wrapped in the blanket my grandmother had crocheted a few months before. I think the presence of a tiny baby brings into perspective that life goes on for a family. This is especially true for Christians who believe the loved one is in Heaven and certainly dressed in white!

Tiffany - posted on 01/10/2010

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I took my daughter to a funeral when she was about 6 months old. I just dressed her in a nice, mellow outfit. Nothing with lots of loud colors or anything. But I didn't go black either. Plus, we were outdoors in early spring so it was still a little chilly and it was a rainy day too.

C. - posted on 01/10/2010

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When my Grandfather passed away, my niece was only a couple months old. My sister dressed her in a dress, nothing too fancy since she was so young and it was a bit impractical w/ the spit-up factor, but something dressy enough to show respect. My nieces dress wasn't black.. I think it was a shade of pink. But then again it also depends on your family's beliefs. I would ask your mom and see what she thinks, or maybe an aunt if asking your mom isn't possible.

Lindsey - posted on 01/09/2010

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hello huni my brother in law died just before xmas n my daughter was about 6wks old so i just brought a pretty dress wiv light pink spots on it.. i think as she only a baby i dont think it matters just as long as ur happy wiv wot you put her in n im sure your granmother wouldnt mind either way huni ....

Carrie - posted on 01/09/2010

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You know I notice more and more that a lot of people don't wear black any more to funerals, and I certainly wouldn't worry about putting black on a baby. I don't believe anyone expects a baby to be wearing black. Just dress the baby in something nice and dont worry about it.

Tonya - posted on 01/09/2010

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hello. first of all, i'm really sorry for your loss. i lost my gramma about 9 months ago. i know it's a difficult time. anyway, unfortunately we've gone to more than our fair share of funerals since our grandkids (both are 3) have been born. i feel that a funeral, just like a wedding, and any other family function, is the place for children to be with the rest of the family. i also feel that it doesn't really matter what color anyone, especially babies, wears. just make sure that whatever you choose is nice, not necessarily a dress but that it's comfortable, easy to change diapers and warm enough to be outside at the grave sight. if you choose to have her in a dress, make sure you have a heavy blanket or something to cover her legs. and maybe have a stroller or seat for the grave sight. like i said we've been to a lot of funerals and several were in the winter and it's not easy to grieve when you have to worry about holding a baby all the time. just something to keep in mind. again, i'm sorry and don't worry about it doesn't really matter what she wears. that's not what people will remember.

Lisa - posted on 01/09/2010

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Children do not need to wear black. How about your daughter wears your Grandmothers favourite colour or outfit, or an outfit your Grandmother bought for her - it may help you feel closer to your Grandmother too. Sorry for your loss.x

Jaime - posted on 01/08/2010

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I agree with Deborah, just because it's a funeral doesn't mean you have to dress in black. Dress her according to what she is comfortable in.

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Can't find much black for babies. I put my daughter in a modest, traditional looking dress. Light pink gingham, a-line, big white collar. I thought it was appropriate enough. I'm sure most people won't even bother to care what she is wearing. Sorry for your loss.

Tricia - posted on 01/08/2010

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I like the idea of dressing the child in the deceased relative's favorite color.

Jess - posted on 01/08/2010

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My grandmother passed away just before I fell pregnant and to be honest I can't even remember what I wore let alone anyone else. A few of my baby cousin's were there and no one seemed to mind what they wore. My best advise is to go with something simple but nice. Perhaps you can find a sitter for the day to allow you to go without her, mourn your loss without having to worry about your baby girl.

Kelsey - posted on 01/08/2010

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You dont have to wear black, and decent black baby girl clothes are hard to find. I would just dress her in a natural colored (off-white/ivory) dress or casual outfit, its somewhat dressy, and not obnoxiously bright. Noones going to be offended if you dont put black on your baby. Most people should understand its hard to find dressy outfits in drab colors. A blue dress would be best in my opinion.

Krista - posted on 01/08/2010

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I would just say to dress her in something that's a subdued colour, and most of all, something comfortable. You don't want her fussing during the funeral because her clothes are scratching or pinching her.

Brooke - posted on 01/08/2010

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I took my daughter to my aunty's funeral. Whilst most were black it is becoming a bit more of a colour thing. At my mothers funeral the rule she had and we kept was everyone wore nice bright clothes...

I dressed my daughter in a white dress with maroon velvet bands. she also wore a white cardigan and booties. Everyone commented on her out fit and she didn't look out of place at all.

children are just that... children. there is no need to dress them black.

Jessica - posted on 01/08/2010

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depends on age,if its a baby id put her on a black onsie with a little skirt or sumthn with a cute boe in her hair,with cute frilly socks.dress her up like you would for any occasion jus remember to keep the color dark bc its a sad one

Winnie - posted on 01/08/2010

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Hi, we're from the Philippines, so I'm not really sure if this will help... but here goes, whenever I'm not so sure of cultural or traditional prsctices, I just stay away from loud and bright colors. In our family, children are normally dressed in white during funerals. Plain or plaid with plains are acceptable... no text prints and bright cartoony prints as much as possible. Maybe a dark plaid or plain, neutral colored skirt with a white blouse top (or another plain color aside from red like brown, tan, blue etc would be good), with white stockings should be a safe choice.... :)

Sadie - posted on 01/08/2010

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my husband's dad passed away last august and my little boy was 8 months old....i didnt feel it right to take him to the funeral as its not a place for kids... but that is my personnal opinion... would have taken him if he was like 10 or something.... i took him into nursery for the service then took him to the wake afterwards to cheer everyone up and it did. not all adult wore black as it wasnt what he wanted he wanted us to wear anything we thought right

Laura - posted on 01/08/2010

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i took my daughter to my grandpas girlfriends funeral in september when Gabby was only 2 1/2 months old and i put her in a dark green velvet dress that my mom bought her at one point. my cousins had there kids in nice clothes that werent black. when it comes to funerals these days i dont think black is the norm any more. alot of people want there lives celebrated not morned, they dont want there passing to make people they love sad. im sorry for your loss, dress your child in something nice and im sure it will be alright.

Loralie - posted on 01/07/2010

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i put my girl i a black skirt and a white top,anyways no worries if babys r dressed in............

Michelle - posted on 01/07/2010

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A child her age could be dress in a simple dress something preferably dark not necessarily black but appropriate navy blue, dark green ect.

Tracey - posted on 01/07/2010

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At the last funeral I went to some adults didn't wear black. I don't think it matters what the baby wears, as long as it is not loud and covered in cartoon characters. My friends's dad died last year and there was a baby at his funeral who cheered everyone up at the wake by gurgling and being admired by all the adults.

Andrea - posted on 01/07/2010

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My mother in law just passed away in Sept.. We dressed my son 2years (had just turn 2 a week before she passed) in a nice pair pants and a t-shirt.. With my daughter5 1/2 months (now is 9 months) we dressed her in her nana's Fav color.. (a little purple dress) So over all it is whatever you feel comfy to dress her in.. They however do not need to wear black.. I found it more comfy for my hubby, hubby's family and us that they were dressed as she would have wanted them and knew them to be.... hope this is helpful.. I am sorry to hear of your loss.. Take care and Best wishes..

Helena - posted on 01/07/2010

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I took my older daughter to funeral when she was a month old and I had a really cute little black outfit that I put her in. I don't think it really matters what she wears, if you have something black fine if not just have her wear like that is nice and appropriate.

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