Im 15 years old and 17 weeks pregnant. My parents are not supportive . My mom and dad is to much worried about trying to find the father so they can put him in jail. Big problem for the is I have no clue. I know when I got pregnant was when I had a big party and I was so drunk I dont remember the guy or guys names. My mom is trying to point fingers at everyone. Can she force all these boys to have DNA test even though I no a hundred persent in my mind that there not the father? And does anyone no why this is her concern and not even the baby
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Sarah - posted on 11/27/2012
Ok- Im reading the nasty comments on here and seriously ladies! This young woman was Raped. If you're too drunk to know with whom you were with that is rape. You cannot consent to sex if you're that intoxicated. And depending on the laws of your state the father could be held legally responsible for that. You should contact your local rape crisis center. They will know all of your state laws, they will also know if your parents can get a DNA test on the baby without your consent (my instinct is no). You need an advocate on your side.
I worked as a rape crisis victim advocate as a long time so trust me when i say they will have all your info. They should be listed in the front of your phone book with all the emergency numbers. Or google it.
I hope this helps.
Dove - posted on 11/27/2012
Why would your parents be happy about having a pregnant 15 year old? I would be devastated. Love and support my kid and the baby... yes, absolutely, but it would tear me up for my daughter to be pregnant at 15 and would take me quite a while to be 'happy' about it.... especially the fact that she was so drunk she doesn't even know who the father is.
You can support yourself and your baby? So... you are paying rent, utilities, buying all your own food and clothes?.... Do you have a vehicle and a license (or do you pay for a bus pass)? You've figured out how much diapers, formula (if you aren't going to/can't breastfeed), clothes, etc... are going to cost for the first year? Congratulations. That's a lot to have figured out and be doing at 15.
Holly - posted on 11/27/2012
wow, you shouldn't be so drunk that you don't even know who the father is. ESP since you are only 15, this doesn't say very much about your character. You PROBABLY think this makes you seem more mature, but in reality, this makes you seem like a free prostitute. I am sorry to be so blunt, but wow, really? this is how you want to portray yourself to the world? someone who doesn't have enough class or self esteem to keep her legs closed. Is this seriously how you measure yourself worth? or did your parents not teach you a better way? THIS is why it is her concern, because as long as she can say, "THIS is the baby's father", she doesn't have to say "my daughter is such a tramp that she slept with so many guys she can't even remember them all. "
ParkswayVoodoo - posted on 11/27/2012
this girl came for help, no need to call her a tramp.
i got pregnant at 15 too and my father (i dont know my mother, as she passed) was very unsupportive. i had a boyfriend, so i knew the father. but i can understand your mistake, i have only been with 2 guys in my life, my first childs father and my husband. but i understand your mistake. im happy you have somethings figured out and arent relying on your parents to take it all like many girls do in this situation. i dont believe they can force dna tests but im not sure. you need to find out who the father is so you can get child support though and you owe it to your child to give them the chance to know their father as well. social services(welfare) will pay for childcare while you work and/or go to school, just so you know. best of luck and be strong!
Linda - posted on 11/27/2012
Amber, you should know that while you may get some helpful advise here, you will also get a lot of negative feedback...so be prepared.
Ladies, I'm sure she knows by now she's made some serious mistakes with lifelong implications...so let's try to help her from here on out. She can't go back.
It's good that you have some plans. You don't have to have everything all planned out yet...you still have 23 weeks to finalize plans. However, it is going to be a long hard road, and expenses will probably be more than you expect. You might want to talk to some other new moms and figure out how much these things cost and come up with a budget. You also may find helpful information and parenting advice at a crisis pregnancy center.
I'm sure your parents will come around by the time the baby's born. After all, it's their grandchild. Just be patient. You will understand when your baby's born how much you love him/her and how much your parents love you. They need time to grieve, but I'm sure they love you.
Well Im okay on the schooling . Im enrolled online I have seventeen credits so far and need twenty four to graduate. I have a job now as an assistant in a office for a major contrution company. The boss knows me well and gave a me a job. I am keeping the baby. I am able to support me and my child. By the pace im going online I can graduate by the time I have the baby. But what just pisses me off is the fact that everyone else is happy and are there for me except my parents. My last boyfriend was almost eight months ago so its defently not him. But I know i can do this. Yes it will be a big change in life but it was a choice I made and now I will dea with it in the.best way possible
Linda - posted on 11/27/2012
In most states, what happened to you would be considered statutory rape at the very least....so I can understand why they want to pursue this. Have they gone to the police? They are the ones to pursue this, not your parents. I don't think anyone can be forced to take a DNA test unless there is some reason to suspect a particular person. If you could find out who the father is, then he could be forced to pay child support.
I would spend some serious time coming up with a plan for your life. Are you keeping the baby or putting it up for adoption? If you are keeping it, what are your plans for school? For after school? What kind of job would you like that would support both you and your baby?
Dove - posted on 11/27/2012
It's probably a concern for her because YOU are her baby and she is looking for someone to blame. She probably feels as if she has failed as a mother right now. She is angry, hurt, scared, and confused. She doesn't want to blame herself and probably doesn't want to blame you, but this is a crappy situation and SOMEONE has to 'pay' for it.
Those are probably many of the thoughts 'I' would be going through if my daughter were in your situation.
Pointing fingers and 'crucifying' some guy are not going to solve this mess though. What's done is done and I hope she gets to that point and gets you the help and support you are going to need in order to make the best decision possible for your child.
What is YOUR plan? Are you considering adoption? If not... how are you going to support and raise your child and finish school at the same time?
If your parents can see that you realize what a life altering thing this is and that you have thought up a mature and realistic plan on how to deal with it.... They may come around to help and support you faster.
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