Im having a boy, Circumsion or no? Pros and Cons

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LaCi - posted on 07/09/2009

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I've already been involved in one debate thread. I'll keep it short and polite, I did not circumcise my son and I believe that circumcision at birth should be illegal.

Jessica - posted on 07/08/2009

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Hi,

I have a 5 month old son and i chose to have him done. Some people will criticise either way you choose to go so discuss it with dad and do what feels right! I based my decision on getting it done when he was 5 weeks old when he won't remember it rather than later in life when he's older if something was to go wrong. He recovered so well and did not seem to be in any pain afterwards. Good luck with the decion you make and if you want to know any more specific details don't hesitate to ask!

Jess

[deleted account]

"Some of you people are just rude on here. No the forskin is not supposed to be attached . I didn't pull that out of a pharmacy book, my pediatrician told me that. Just because you have your beliefs doesn't mean you have to get on here and be harsh and rude toward any one who disagrees with you. I do sit on here and tell you what i really think an uncircumcized penis looks like. You wouldn't like the answer. This was put in place to give help to someone on making a decision. YOU people need to get ahold of yourselves. JERKS!"

How are people supposed to make informed decisions when some posters are writing absolutely absurd things? The foreskin remains attached typically for the first 3-5 years, and sometimes through puberty. Moms do not need to pull the skin back to clean under it. I didn't make this up, you can check out what the American Academy of Pediatrics has to say about it if you like:
http://www.aap.org/publiced/br_uncircumc...

If your doctor told you otherwise, it is because he has no idea what he's talking about. And, quite frankly, I don't care at all what you think an uncircumcised penis looks like. You won't be having sex with my son, so I doubt he'll care what you think of his penis, either. And since you also won't be having sex with your own son, I'm not sure what your sexual preferences have to do with anything alt all.

Momma - posted on 07/17/2009

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I can't believe how many people are so poorly educated in this and even worse people that "work" in the medical field. I'm not the only one to say this so lets just refresh: A PENIS CAN GET INFECTED EITHER WAY!!! SO MY SAY WOULD BE TO CUT IT OFF AND SAVE HIM THE CHANCES EITHER WAY SO THAT WAY THERE IS NO CHANCE OF INFECTION EVER!!!! Get a grip people and do research!!! Circumcision is NOT cleaner!!! It's harsh and an unnecessary procedure.

Julie - posted on 07/08/2009

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We didn't with our three boys and they are just fine. Good personal hygene is a virtue we have tought all our kids. Our 2nd son is 5 and his foreskin is not all the way retracted and he often pulls on it which irritates it. Other than that our 2 other boys haven't had any problems. I did babysit for a newborn who was circumcised and his penis got infected at about 2 weeks old and he had to be on antibiotics for it. The experience of caring for him really opened my eyes as to how incredibly painful it is for them and vowed never to needlessly do that to my boys. Don't believe all the wives tales you'll hear about how mush more care it needs to be clean. We just have our boys pull the skin back when they are in the bath and it cleans itself when the skin is down. If they don't clean under the skin at bath time it can get irritated after about a week. It's not really a big deal.

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Kathleen - posted on 04/29/2010

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The reason the boy got an infection at all was not because the skin wasnt pulled back and cleaned enough it was most likely from being retracted prematurely. In infancy the foreskin is tightly fused to the head of the penis and should not be forced back before its ready. Separation could take anywhere from 5 to 10 years and sometimes not till after puberty. then the boy can be taught to pull back and rinse properly. Until then the infant penis needs only to be wiped as if it were a finger. no retraction before its ready.

[deleted account]

Just my opinion since I have a girl. I have been with both un and cut> I find a male who is Circumsized more pleasurable. My first long time relationship wasnt done and I had more infections then I care to think about. Now sex was good but not as good as with someone who is done. Just my opinion. Read up on it and find out about it all and make your choice neither one is wrong neither one is right.

Stephanie - posted on 07/23/2009

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If you are worried about the pain, my son was three days old when he was circumcised and he actually sighed during the procedured as if he were bored. If it hurt, he didn't show it. I had no problem with infection of cleanliness. If keep it clean and covered with vasaline until it's healed, it will come out great. My son does still have a little extra skin but I don't see the need to do it again.

Enietra - posted on 07/21/2009

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Well as a mom of four boys I had all my boys circumsized its up to you.I had them done a few days after birth.This is something you and the daddy need to talk about.

Jaime - posted on 07/21/2009

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Micaela, I agree that circumcision is not necessary, but I came across some misinformation in your comment when you said "True, you do have to pull it back to wipe them when they are babies"....this is NOT true. As soon as my Son was born the nurses asked if I would be circumcising him and I said no...immediately the response was okay, so all you do is treat it like a finger...wipe from base to tip, but DO NOT retract the skin...the skin will retract on its own when the child is close to school age...around 3 years give or take a year. Retracting the foreskin before it does so naturally will likely cause extreme discomfort, bleeding and possibly even infections.

Micaela - posted on 07/21/2009

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I say NO circ. My boys Pediatrician says that there is NO medical reason that your son should have one. So, why put them through it. Yes, it may look a little different... better, i guess.. since the excess skin will be removed, but then again that skin helps protect them from being so vulnerable to infevtions. True, you do have to pull it back to wipe them when they are babies, but really... how hard is that?? After they get a littkle older you dont have to worry abt it anymore. I dont know if this helped. Im just giving my opinion. You should really talk to your babied Pediatrician BEFORE your baby is born., so that you can feel comfortable with the decision you make... Also, i think... Why not let him make that decision when he is older...??

Micaela - posted on 07/21/2009

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I say NO circ. My boys Pediatrician says that there is NO medical reason that your son should have one. So, why put them through it. Yes, it may look a little different... better, i guess.. since the excess skin will be removed, but then again that skin helps protect them from being so vulnerable to infevtions. True, you do have to pull it back to wipe them when they are babies, but really... how hard is that?? After they get a littkle older you dont have to worry abt it anymore. I dont know if this helped. Im just giving my opinion. You should really talk to your babied Pediatrician BEFORE your baby is born., so that you can feel comfortable with the decision you make... Also, i think... Why not let him make that decision when he is older...??

Julie - posted on 07/21/2009

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I had it done to my son when he was 4 weeks old, it couldnt have bugged him too bad he slept through it! The healing process was only a couple of days. So if you are worring about it hurting him it from my expreince with my son it was no more painful then getting one of his boster shots.

User - posted on 07/21/2009

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I was told unless I was planing on living in some out of the way third world country without decent hygiene then it was totally unnecessary. I know a friend wanted to have her son done because his father was and she couldn't find anyone to do it.

DonnaMarie - posted on 07/21/2009

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Hi. All I can say is that if you do it do it when the baby is born so he does not feel it. When they get to an age when they know what is going on it will be much harder on you and him to go through that. I am very old school when it comes to that and I believe in circumsion. Just my opinion.

Jennifer - posted on 07/21/2009

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I have 3 boys and we chose circumsion for all of them. We had no problems. We chose to because of religious reasons and because it, to us, is what should be done. I think uncircumsied penises just dont look right or natural. In the end you need to weigh the reasons on why you would or wouldnt. Good luck!

Patricia - posted on 07/21/2009

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Some of you people are just rude on here. No the forskin is not supposed to be attached . I didn't pull that out of a pharmacy book, my pediatrician told me that. Just because you have your beliefs doesn't mean you have to get on here and be harsh and rude toward any one who disagrees with you. I do sit on here and tell you what i really think an uncircumcized penis looks like. You wouldn't like the answer. This was put in place to give help to someone on making a decision. YOU people need to get ahold of yourselves. JERKS!

Jaime - posted on 07/21/2009

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Also, the silly excuse that boys should look like their fathers is also a poor justification for having a circumcision done. Boys don't need to look like their fathers, and boys won't be traumatized that their penis looks different from Dad's (it makes me wonder how long Dad's are walking around the house naked so that their Son's have enough time to get a good look and then grow a complex about it)...not that I think walking around naked in front of children is wrong, but the argument that boys will be self-conscious or upset because they are different is just plain silly! If Dad is walking around naked and his Son is curious about their differences, I would say that it is a prime opportunity to teach him about the FACT that EVERYONE is DIFFERENT from the next person no matter their age or gender. That goes for the locker room too! If a boy is being made fun of for his penis being uncircumcised, I am more inclined to wonder what the boy that is circumcised, is being taught. Circumcision is NOT NECESSARY and if parents are going to teach their children that circumcision is the the normal way, then there is some serious misinformation being given to young boys. The definition of normal in our idealized society is associated with "popular". So, many years ago when circumcisions were being done during the war (as one mother pointed out) because men didn't have access to proper washing facilities, it was for the purpose of keeping the rates of infection low---this made sense for that particular time...not to mention these were grown men that were more than able to make an educated decision about cutting off their foreskin. Circumcision for religious reasons is also silly, because although the parents of the child might practice the particular faith associated with ritual circumcision, the child is not able to reason religion or circumcision and so the beliefs of the parents should not be a deciding factor when considering the surgery. If the boy decides to practice religion and later decides to have the surgery, then he will have been given the opportunity to make an educated decision for himself. Circumcision is a personal choice for the person that owns the penis. The choice of whether or not to teach a boy to clean his penis properly---that is a personal choice for the parents to make!

Jaime - posted on 07/21/2009

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Not one single person can say for 100% certainty that circumcision is not painful for an infant. Just as there is no certainty that it is not painful...although pain is likely a consequence, it holds no merit in this discussion because we cannot know for sure---infants cannot speak, they can only communicate through crying and that's not enough of an indicator that pain is present or absent. We can certainly err on the side of majority and say that there is a stronger likelihood that pain is a consequence of circumcision but the fact remains that we just do not know for certain. Some people feel little or no pain during child birth...and although it is extremely rare, it is possible. With that being said, deciding to circumcise a baby boy because it's better to do it when they are younger and won't feel pain or as much pain, or because it will decrease there chances of infection are ALL poor justifications for having the surgery done. When a boy is older and can decide for himself whether or not to have the surgery is not only logical, it takes in to consideration that, although parents do have a hand in making decisions for their child when they are not at a reasoning level of development, a child is still the sole owner of his body and should not be excluded from the decision to have a part of his anatomy altered---NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON IS!

Vanessa - posted on 07/21/2009

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I have 2 boys that are circumsized. The only bad thing about it is that their skin reattached. You have to keep pulling the skin back months and maybe for the first couple of years just to make sure that it doesn't get stuck to eachother. My son is 3 and kept complaining that his pee pee hurt. Mostly when it was hard and when he woke up. He woke up in pain lot of the time. I took him to the doctor and the doctor put numbing ointment on him then pulled his skin apart. He still felt it and he cried for a while. It broke my heart. If you get it done make sure you and daddy keep the skin pulled back.

Karen - posted on 07/21/2009

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My son was 19 months when we adopted him. He was taken from his birth mother at birth after testing positive for cocaine exposure. Due to his placement in foster care, his birth family was unable to get him circumcised. At first we didn't think we should be concerned, as Chenoa posted, the rate of infections is not significant. However, what we weren't counting on is the fact that due to adhesions, the head of his penis does not extend beyond the foreskin. Due to this fact, urine can sometimes seap behind the foreskin. THis has caused great irritation and discomfort, and as a result, he now holds his urine longer than he should and most times will not allow a full emptying of the bladder. He is stopping mid-stream because it burns. We have now been referred to a pediatric urologist, and he will have to go under general anesthesia in order for the procedure to take place. These are all risks I wish we had known about the day we had adopted...so that we could have done the procedure sooner, and not waited until now...he's 6. The doctor has asked us to try and pull the foreskin back for him, while showing him and explaining the reason and how it will help ease the discomfort...my husband is struggling with that, due to it being a private area we have told him that no-one should touch. My younger son was circumcised in the doctor's office on the 7th day, and he cried when they strapped his arms down and stopped when they released his arms...there are very few nerve endings that are developed down there when they are infants, my son was upset about having his arms do something he didn't want them to. He always had trouble with the swaddler for that reason too. So it wasn't because of pain. Hope this helps!

Nicole - posted on 07/21/2009

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None of the men in my family are circumsized. On the other hand the males in my husbands family all are. It wasn't a hard decision for me. Neither of my sons are done. And that was my choice. You need to make a decision that is right for you. If you are taught how to clean the foreskin properly and teach your son in turn there is no reson really for him to be done other than personal prefrance.. Good luck with your decision . I'm sure YOU will make the rigght choice for YOU!!

Deanne - posted on 07/21/2009

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Now a days (in Australia) you have to look for a doctor that will do it.... a lot refuse at it is unnecessary unless they have problems with the foreskin being too tight or the parent's have not taught the boy to clean it properly.

You all go on about people you know who have had problems on both sides of the debate. I have a family member who was scarred bad from the doc taking off too much, one who had bad probs after being done & one member who needed it done at 40 years of age!

Once again I don't think parent's realise that a boys foreskin does not require cleaning until it is movable. This is around the age of 4 years.

I was going to get my son done as he's dad is done but did the research, realised it isn't necessary as we're able to bathe daily, we're not religious, if problems arise we're able to act on them very efficiently with the best medical help so there is no need to removed any part of my son (or daughter!) just because we prefer..........

Deanne - posted on 07/21/2009

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Now a days (in Australia) you have to look for a doctor that will do it.... a lot refuse at it is unnecessary unless they have problems with the foreskin being too tight or the parent's have not taught the boy to clean it properly.

You all go on about people you know who have had problems on both sides of the debate. I have a family member who was scarred bad from the doc taking off too much, one who had bad probs after being done & one member who needed it done at 40 years of age!

Once again I don't think parent's realise that a boys foreskin does not require cleaning until it is movable. This is around the age of 4 years.

I was going to get my son done as he's dad is done but did the research, realised it isn't necessary as we're able to bathe daily, we're not religious, if problems arise we're able to act on them very efficiently with the best medical help so there is no need to removed any part of my son (or daughter!) just because we prefer..........

Claire - posted on 07/21/2009

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I think it should be left up to the child to decide whether he wants it done or not. If he needs it done when older or decides to get it done, then so be it.

If u maintain a good relationship with your child i think u should be able to inform him early on of his penis, what it is used for, that its a private type thing, and that he should keep it clean and let him know that if it is ever sore or anything, to let you know so that u can do something about it. I believe honest truthful communication is very valuable.

DAMIANE - posted on 07/20/2009

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Yes. Do it while they are too young to feel the pain. My brother had it done at 5 or 6 and I am still traumatized. It is also easier to clean for us and for them when they get older.

Amanda - posted on 07/20/2009

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I say yes....I have a relative who has a son who gets laughed at by other boys. Kids can be so mean. While medically it is not a necessity, I had my boys done for the sole purpose of the laughing factor. I don't want them getting made fun of, and now it is happening to the other little guy in the family.

Tammy - posted on 07/20/2009

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I say yes. My son had his cut my sister had her sons held back with i wire looking thing sorry to say her sons looks weird and my sons looks normal so i def would say yes ask ur options they do them so many diff ways these days

Kathy - posted on 07/20/2009

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I did a lot of research on the subject, and my final answer was, no. I did not want my son circumsized. He is almost 4 now, and I have had no problems. Best advice is to do the research. No matter what though, if you decide to not circumsize, let the foreskin retract on its own. My son has already made up a game in the tub, he plays peek-a-boo with his winkie to get it clean. This also helps with the retraction; only my son knows how much pain he can tolerate. No problems here. If he hates me later in life when he realizes he is a little different than other boys, then he can be the one to get it done. My nephew, on the other hand had it done when he was born. At 2 years old, the doctor said that the first circumcision was done incorrectly, and they had to take him in and redo it.....that poor baby is now 13 years old, and his penis is deformed due to the double procedure.

Dawn - posted on 07/20/2009

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I chose not to have it done and paid dearly for it later. My son's forskin didn't open correctly so he had the circumsion done later at age five. It's treated like a real surgury. He was checked into the hospital and but to sleep for the precedure. It cost over $12,500 without insurance. If you have it done when they are born it's only a few hundred dollars, they don't remember it, and it's a whole lot less traumatic.

Krystle - posted on 07/20/2009

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I am a mother of a 6 year old and yes we had him circumcised in the hospital. It was for me seeing my father have so much trouble NOW in life with not being Circumscised as a child. So weather you do or you dont later down the road there may be issues with not being circumcised.

Melissa - posted on 07/20/2009

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someone will tell you you're wrong no matter what you choose. i will give you my experience though. my son is almost 2 now, and we had him circumcised before we brought him home. he never once cried when it was touched, and hasn't shown any post traumatic stress from it! my brother is about to turn 28...and is not circumcised. in middle school his friends picked on him mercilessly...until one day he told them that because he's not, it was going to feel that much better when he does the deed. they shut up about it. he never got an infection because he was taught to wash it properly. last, i was a teacher's assistant in a middle school years back. one of the students went in for a circumcision...he was 14. he was out of school for 2 weeks, and when he came back, he said it was the worst pain ever. everything hurt, and even walking was difficult. a friend of mine is a nurse, and she told me that the older they are before circumcision, the worse it is if they decide to do it...or if it needs to be done to save them. though infections are rare, they DO happen. and when they do...it's not pretty. all that being said, the choice is all yours.

[deleted account]

I was going to initially, but Jack was too little to do it, so I was not going to have one done and the twin brother not. So I elected not to. They are 2.5 now and I've had no problems with cleanliness.

DONNA - posted on 07/20/2009

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MY CHILD HAD TO BE CIRCUMSIZED AT 3 YEARS OLD BECAUSE OF INFECTIONS UNDER THE FORESKIN THAT COULD NOT BE PULLED BACK. WE WENT THRU PLAIN HELL FOR WEEKS AFTER THAT. YOUR DECISION, BUT THAT WAS MY EXPERIENCE.

Melissa - posted on 07/20/2009

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My vote is yes. When my son was first born, I elected not to have him circumsized. However after a month and in talking with both doctors and men, I decided it would be best for him for both medical and aesthic reasons. I would suggest that you have it done just after birth as I was told more complications arise as he gets older. But anesthetic was used and my son didn't even cry. He didn't seem bothered at all. Hope that helps.

Georganne - posted on 07/19/2009

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After I did research, we decided no not to. Our son is now 6 and when I did the research back in 2002/2003 it was about 45% to 55%. so it was close. I couldn't put my baby through that and the risk of nerve damage were two reasons why we chose not to. Google it and find out the stats and pros and cons.

Carol - posted on 07/19/2009

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My 7 brothers and my son were done as infants! For sanitary reasons I say yes it is easier to keep clean as a child and adult male and help to protect the female partner as well.

[deleted account]

"yes defending that snatching females , cutting them in front of their whole family and others. makes them seem veeeeeeeeeeery credible. great people there."

I never said the arguments for female circumcision were credible - what I said was that people who support it make the exact same arguments that people are making here in support of male circumcision. They think girls should be circumcised because it is cleaner (less folds of skin to worry about), lower rate of HIV in circumcised women (as found in studies from Africa), so they don't feel bad because they don't look like mom/peers, etc.

Here in the US, you cannot ask the doctor to remove your newborn's labia, even if he uses anesthetic and does it in sanitary conditions of the hospital. Infant female circumcision is illegal under all circumstances. They'd probably call CPS. And yet people don't think twice about removing part of the penis for the exact same (faulty) reasons, and with no medical indication. There's something wrong with that. Boys deserve the same protection that girls have.

Lauren - posted on 07/19/2009

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My son is almost 17 and I chose not to circumcise him, but I would've if I had to do it over again. I looked at all the literature and thought I made an informed decision, but I was overly ideal on how well a pre-teen / teen age boy would keep himself clean. He had issues with the skin not being able to be pulled back as far as it should. Also, more recent research does prove a link between carrying and passing along HIV and not being circumcised. And, I work in a nursing home and old men that weren't circumcised are much less cleanly and harder to take care of properly.

User - posted on 07/19/2009

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yes defending that snatching females , cutting them in front of their whole family and others. makes them seem veeeeeeeeeeery credible. great people there.

Kimberly - posted on 07/19/2009

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It is mostly a personal choice as one previous post stated. However, in my case I ended up wishing later that I had, had my son circumcised when at around age 2-21/2 we went through bouts of infection after infection, etc. I was beginning to think we were going to end up having to have him circumcised anyway. My son went through more pain from the infections and trying to get specimens than I think he would have from being circucised in the first place.

[deleted account]

"look into other cultures where females are snatched from there homes and cut in front of their communities. it happens in africa, extreme islamic sects, and in india. not that my sex life is your business but yes i have been a man that wasnt and he was extremely self conscience. its what ultimately broke us up, and he has been in counseling for it."

I'm certainly aware of other cultures, that's why I posted a link in which FGM practitioners from Africa try to defend the practice. I haven't heard any arguments for male circumcision than are better than the ones that are used for FGM (which of course should be illegal). The same cultures that routinely circumcise girls as part of an initiation ceremony do the same to their boys, yet that isn't used as a reason to oppose male circumcision here in the US. Most of these children aren't snatched away - they are sent off by their well-meaning parents who think that the procedure is healthier for them. Like I said, I don't think it is right to cut off any part of a child's body for cosmetic reasons without their consent, girl or boy. Especially when your talking about such a sensitive and personal part of the body.

Belinda - posted on 07/19/2009

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Hi! My son is circumcised and had no issues from it. It really is a personal choice. Your son will be fine either way. And he can get an infection either way. I will tell you that you should get it done before you leave the hospital. I will also tell you that you will more than likely cry your eyes out. But in the end, I did not want him to be "the kid who isn't circumcised" in the locker room. I'd do what you and your doc think is best...and not worry about what anyone else thinks!!

User - posted on 07/19/2009

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look into other cultures where females are snatched from there homes and cut in front of their communities. it happens in africa, extreme islamic sects, and in india. not that my sex life is your business but yes i have been a man that wasnt and he was extremely self conscience. its what ultimately broke us up, and he has been in counseling for it.

[deleted account]

Easier to have sex without the foreskin?? That's absurd. Have you ever been with an man who wasn't circumcised? It in no way hinders sex (and probably enhances it).

As for female circumcision, the justifications for it are the same as for male circumcision - cleaner, less disease, look like mom, etc. (You can check out a debate including a prominent female defender of FMG here: http://www.prospect.org/cs/articles?arti...)

Personally, I don't care if someone wants to be circumcised - but I think that's a decision that a man (or woman) should be able to make for themselves. Why to parents care so much about what their child's genitals look like?

User - posted on 07/19/2009

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You say it's 'lame' for women to be having this conversation, and yet you made the decision for your son. I agree with you that men should be responsible for this decision - the man who owns the penis. We shouldn't be make a decision about something so personal for our sons. It is illegal to alter your daughter's genitals, even if you think it is cleaner and like it better - why do we do that for our sons?"


um my husband and i both made this decision. we looked at the pros and cons asked the dr how its done before hand, asked family members, and we did it together. female circumcision is done so they dont have a sex drive, not to mention there are at least 3 different ways a woman is mutilated including the clitoris and labia cut off and the vagina sewn shut with just enough so they they can have a period.....when a boy has a circumcision is doesnt kill there sex drive and most men will agree thats its easier to have sex.

[deleted account]

You say it's 'lame' for women to be having this conversation, and yet you made the decision for your son. I agree with you that men should be responsible for this decision - the man who owns the penis. We shouldn't be make a decision about something so personal for our sons. It is illegal to alter your daughter's genitals, even if you think it is cleaner and like it better - why do we do that for our sons?

User - posted on 07/19/2009

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also this is whole convo is lame how about we let men on this damn forum and tell their opinions.....we are women talking about a personal thing on men you dont see men getting on forums talking about vag infections and douching!!! for the love of it this is lame

User - posted on 07/19/2009

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i chose to get my sons done for many reasons. one major reason was that i had a family member who got an infection and had to get circumcised when he was 9 and he definitely remembers and it was a big deal and still is. my son didnt even cry with his and i was there, he wasnt phased at all....I know as a mother if that same situation happened to my son i dont think i could have handled it, and th fact the little guy didnt have anyh problems made the decision that much better

[deleted account]

We didn't, we didn't feel comfortable with the idea. I did a lot of research myself

as well as consulting his pediatrician who offered his view (both pos and cons) and

at the end of the day it simply comes down to cultural/societal preference.



When he is older and changing in the locker room, will he feel uncomfortable, for example. Are you Jewish? Do you come from a family where all of the men have

had circumsion done? Is your husband? If it is something which really bothers

your son as he is older, he can choose to have the procedure done. It is quite

more painful when you are older, but, it is somethign he can get done.



Hope this helps:)



T

Kylie - posted on 07/19/2009

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i had both my boys done my first boy was done ithin two weeks and my second was 3weeks old if you decided to have it done i think it's better when they r young...have have known many young boys that have had to have it done in teen yrs and it's a very painfull thing at that age don't get me wrong it's painfull for a baby but the handle it much better than a teen.....but every one is diff and the end of the day it's the mother and father who decide...good luck

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