In a inter-religion marriage is it necessary to get the child follow a particular religion or be taught both religions?

Kavitha - posted on 05/30/2012 ( 219 moms have responded )

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I am in a inter-religion marriage and have a 4 year old daughter. On a mutual understanding we teach our daughter both the religions and to encourage her to be tolerant to all religions celebrate all the main festivals celebrated in our country. Our main focus being to bring her up as a good human being. She is a sweet child and enjoys all the festivals, loves going to temples & say evening prayers. Yesterday my husband's close friend was arguing with us insisting that the child should be taught to follow any one particular religion as the child will be confused when she grows up. I would like to know all your opinions regarding this.

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Krista - posted on 05/30/2012

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I think that this is truly a personal choice. Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for, and she won't be confused as long as she feels free to come to you with questions. Personally, I think you're handling it beautifully, and that your husband's friend is being silly.

Anna - posted on 05/30/2012

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My husband and I are two different religions: he is Christian and I am Buddhist. We have chosen not to raise our son in any particular religion, instead celebrating traditions from both of our chosen faiths and, when he is old enough to ask questions, answering them as openly and honestly as we can. We are both united in our full belief that spirituality is a personal choice, and that external pressures like conforming to family or societal expectations to "belong" to a religion aren't as important as instilling things like love and dignity and tolerance. Religion is something you are taught; spirituality is something that you find yourself. I would be remiss to pressure my son to believe what I believe simply because I believe it.

Cindy - posted on 05/30/2012

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I have many friends, including my best friend for 36 yrs, who I have seen live out this situation raising their children who are now 15-21 yo. so I will tell you in short how I have seen this turn out. By all means, teach your child to respect both religions. However, I tend to agree with your husband's friend. Not because there will be confusion perhaps but by learning to follow neither faith she will be just adhere to nothing. In all the families I have seen it has been a Jewish/Christian parents. For my cousin, she converted to Judaism and they have raised their 3 children as Jews. I have loved seeing all her Baptist sisters and their families celebrating the 3 bar/bas mitzvahs. For my best friend, she raised the children Catholic but they always celebrated the major Jewish holidays with his family and often even hosted the celebrations. I have celebrated some Christmas and Easter dinners at their home where there were more Jews at the table than Christians!!! It's all good :) Another friend, they have raised their children as neither faith, the 'respecting both' model and their daughter basically has no religious "home" (though they have celebrated all holidays). An acquaintance who sons go to school with mine, she did not convert to Judaism but they raised their sons Jewish. Looking at the results (and of course, every family is not like another) the children that were raised clearly in one faith, while respecting and celebrating the other, are miles more secure. The families decided to raise the child, by mutual agreement, in the religion of the parent that felt most strongly about their faith. Also, in my life I have sponsored adults joining my church that were raised as 'nothing' by their parents and they were (in the end) rather resentful of what their parents denied them. There turns out to be no substitute for growing up with a faith. That is just a synopsis of how (I see) the results of some families I have grown with over the past 20 + yrs as they raised their children.

Lisa - posted on 05/30/2012

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I was raised in a inter-religion home. Kids are smart but it can be confusing. A lot of faiths promote that they are "right" and others are wrong. Can you imagine what that does to a child's mind and heart?

My brother and his wife were of different beliefs... and eventually the wife "gave in" to his to have unity in the home... and beyond. All the children now follow and share the father's beliefs. His oldest child is now married and they are raising the grandchild in the same belief system. (as the dad/grandfather)

I am not trying to dishearten you but there really are some valid reasons for parents uniting under one faith. Unless you have amazing communication with your child... and a VERY understanding spouse that is WILLING to work out a lot of details when differences arise, you may be facing a big struggle in areas yet to come up. I wish you well.

Jenni - posted on 05/30/2012

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CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING SENSIBLE PARENTS! I think it is great that both of you respect the other's belief and faith, your child will grow up I'm sure being sensitive to other's religion and knowing that it is ok to have a different religion. I'm sure you wouldn't want your child to grow up being arrogant about other peoples feelings and beliefs like your friend. In reality you and your husband are the one's responsible for bring this child into the world and part of that responsibility is to show her the way of being a good human being without prejudice. So please keep going and you will most likely meet more people like your friend who is an example to your child (when she is age appropriate) of someone who has their strong beliefs and are entitled to have - not everyone is the same nor do they have to be. You and your husband should follow your convictions and keep supporting each other as you have been.

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Stargazer - posted on 02/06/2014

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How dull the world would be if we were all the same. I fail to see why it is so important for certain religions to claim theirs is the "ONLY" way. The "ONLY" Lord and Savior; the only way to think, the only way to BE! Why is it so important to these people that everyone believe the exact same thing they do? I fail to understand why this is so important to them, unless they need that validation from others.
In sports and academics my parents always encouraged me to be my personal best. They also taught me that it isn't important to be better than someone else, but to be the best you can be, for yourself. I see this applying to religious contradictions. It isn't right to feel that your opinion is some how "better" or more valid than someone elses'. It's important to feel confident in your own ideas and opinions. That doesn't mean you need to share them with every person you meet and try to convert everyone you know to believing the same thing you believe. In this way, I don't understand evangelicalism at all. I have equally as strong of faith and confidence in my beliefs as my Christian friends yet I don't go around telling everyone I know to meditate and start practicing yoga because "it changed my life and it will work for you". No! People are individuals and need to find a spiritual path that works for them as an individual.
I think an openness about the fact that there are many different opinions and different ways of thinking will help your child make a decision for herself, when she is old enough to understand (and I don't think there's some magical "age of reason" when that should happen).
In the meantime, the best thing would be to keep those individuals who have the "black and white" mentality from influencing your child. In my case, it's my in-laws. It's sad that I keep my children from seeing their grandparents over the weekend but the grandparents refused to stop a: taking my kids to their church and b: telling my kids that Jesus is the "ONLY" way, when my husband and I both feel there are many paths to spirituality. If people in your life are telling your children things that directly contradict what you are trying to teach, and you've tried talking to those individuals about "holding their tongue" around your kids and they either won't or can't, then the only thing left is to minimize your child's exposure to those strong conflicting opinions.

Tanya - posted on 09/03/2013

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I think the child should be one religion.

However, I believe that she can celebrate both religions.

Angela - posted on 09/03/2013

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QUOTE: (from Sherree KaneGraber)

"Hi Fran, a friendly note on your earlier posting (I hope it is okay with you that I cut & pasted to quote you correctly)

You wrote: "Jesus said the greatest commandments are: to love God with all your heart, soul, MIND and strength; and to love your neighbour as yourself"

:-) These words are quoted from the Torah (Sefer D'varim, Parshat Va'etchanan) Jews recite this passage every evening and every morning."

OK, this is from the New Testament, Gospel of Luke (Chapter 10, verse 27)

"And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself." (KJV) JESUS SAID THIS!!

In the Old Testament we have:

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5

ALSO

"'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD" Leviticus 19:18

So you're BOTH right!

Chana - posted on 12/01/2012

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I am Jewish, my husband is protestant. I can offer only this: "by opposing end them."

Leyla - posted on 11/30/2012

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I think that by teaching both religions and offering your child a view into all religions is a fair decision. I was raised as a Christian, and still reevaluated my faith when I got older. I think most teens and young adults go through a questioning of their beliefs phase anyway. Giving her the insight into both, and the insights into others is a tolerant and open way to be. I have friends who are atheists, but their 12 year old daughter has chosen to be a Christian, and they allow her to attend church with her aunt. Children will find what they believe as they grow, your job is to guide, and it sounds like you have been doing your best at that. I salute you for doing the best you can in a tough circumstance. I think that by allowing her to see that two people who believe differently can still love each other and coexist you are setting a great example of compassion, coexistence, tolerance and love overcoming all!

Kelley - posted on 11/28/2012

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From a Christian standpoint (I think you shared that your husband is Christian... please forgive me if I got that wrong), but from the belief of a believer in Jesus as Lord and sviour, there is a verse (more than one actually) and it clearly states that there is only ONE way to the Father in Heaven and it is through faith in Jesus HIS only begotten son, as well Jesus stated that if we deny Him then He would deny us before His Father in Heaven, Through one man sin entered the world and through one man (one man's sacrifice 'as the Lamb of God') all of the sins of the world would be paid by HIS blood. For a Christian to deny Jesus Messiah/Christ is to deny the one who litterally makes it possible that we could go to Heaven. But A christian (most of them are unaware) that we are incomplete without the ways of Judism... So If (as a Christian myself) I could dare to ask for the best of both worlds, I wish with all my heart that I understood the festivals,the Hebrew language, the stewardship values, how to eat kosher. Because these amazing things God taught HIS people are so very important to being able to serve, worship, and love God in the way that HE intended. So I wish I knew more about how to honor God, but to deny christ is to absolutely reject God. But ultimately both the jew and gentile are incomplete without each other. (i hope this is insightful and in some way helpful)

Mohnish B - posted on 11/24/2012

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I GUESS,ITS THE FILL UP AT VARIOUS PLACES THAT PUTS THE KID IN TROUBLE. I DO AGREE THAT KIDS NEED A SPIRITUAL GROWTH BUT WHY HAS THAT TO BE SOME RELIGION SPECIFIED. . . EVEN NO HAVING ANY RELIGION AT ALL WOULD DO NO HARM. IT WIL B BETTER TO HAVE A GOD WITH NO NAME,NO FACE BUT JUST A LIGHT. . .

Leigh - posted on 11/11/2012

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You are obviously all religious people. I think religion is a huge study, with many papers and qualifications, and so therefore, I would ask one academically inclined. It could be that both religions have the same pattern to answer similarity. I'd ask the religious head.

Minna - posted on 07/27/2012

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I'm adding something to my earlier post, in case I made it sound too easy.
I also think that if one parent is strongly observant- and the other one isn't, the one who's religion plays less a part of their life should defer to the religious one. We're not talking spirituality, but religion. Most people who say they're spiritual have no problem with different religious observances.
Also, if you're married to someone Jewish, be sensitive of the fact that the Jewish religion is losing members due to intermarriage, assimilation and low birth rate. Sometimes family members and friends come off as strident because they're endangered! And lets face it, it's easier to be a Christian in America, so if the kids have a choice, they'll probably be Christian or maybe nothing when they grow up.
So be understanding of family members and friends who need time to come around, whatever their faith.
All I know is there ain't no grandparents like Jewish Grandparents!

Sherree - posted on 07/27/2012

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Hi Fran, a friendly note on your earlier posting (I hope it is okay with you that I cut & pasted to quote you correctly)

You wrote: "Jesus said the greatest commandments are: to love God with all your heart, soul, MIND and strength; and to love your neighbour as yourself"

:-) These words are quoted from the Torah (Sefer D'varim, Parshat Va'etchanan) Jews recite this passage every evening and every morning.

Fran - posted on 07/17/2012

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I agree - my husband adheres to no faith, I am a Christian minister, and my mother-in-law is Buddhist. I have taken training in two different streams of Buddhism - one with the Dalai Lama - and studied in the Japanese Konko Church. The very heart of all of our faiths is love and compassion - to love your neighbour as yourself. If we teach our children that, then respect for other beliefs goes without saying. I have four fantastic sons who grew up in both faith traditions - and it has made them much better and much more compassionate people - and I think THAT is what God cares about.

Sarah - posted on 07/17/2012

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I was born and raised Roman Catholic, considering that we had friends from all different religions I got to learn about all of them and went to different services and celebrated all their holidays. All of them teach that God is good and he expects us to be good, respectful and honor others, but most of all that I got from all of them is: "Treat Others as You Want to be Treated Yourself". Here in Canada children from different religions attend R.C. schools and don't have any problems, because religion class teaches about all different religions in this world and I never seen one of the students being confused. I don't read Bible because it has been changed so many times to suit church powers that be, I know that because I found my kids one that I used in early 60 and it's way different from today's. I don't go to church anymore but celebrate all kinds of different religious holidays, I am at this point in my life very spiritual person and believe in Karma, so what goes around comes around, but wasn't that in a bible too, and in Koran, Thora and all the other ones too.

Fran - posted on 07/17/2012

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....and it's exactly this kind of misinformed religion which turns off people from the church. People want something which makes them think. Faith is more than words. Jesus said the greatest commandments are: to love God with all your heart, soul, MIND and strength; and to love your neighbour as yourself. Those are the criteria. So if you are a person who loves God (by whatever name - Allah or Yahweh or anything else) with all your heart, soul and mind, and you love your neighbour as yourself - that is what is important. It covers a lot more ground - God is far beyond one interpretation. Thank goodness....

Minna - posted on 07/17/2012

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I'm Methodist , my husband is Jewish, but he's more cultural than religious. We celebrate both religions holidays and say generic blessings every night .It can get crazy, but fun, especially when Hanukkah and Christmas collide . Throw into the mix our vegan relatives-and I have to be VERY creative on meals/Seders.
Strangely enough, my kids ended up at a Catholic school .They participated to the extent they could. Example- one went to confession- [ we had no objections because all the priest ever told him was to work hard in school and listen to his parents] the other choose not to. One is agnostic with Methodist leanings, one will probably go along with what ever religion his wife turns out to be .
They're both great kids, I don't think it has hurt them to explore various religions. We talk openly about God and various beliefs. They know where both of their parents stand. Show them a good example and remember that most teens question the existence of God anyway [ultimate rebellion!]
Funny story- my Great grand parents were Baptist and Catholic. They had 6 kids and divided them up. Catholic, Baptist, Catholic etc. . By middle age 4 had switched ,a Catholic becoming a Baptist minister , and the other 2 picking different religions entirely.
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Julie - posted on 07/11/2012

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I think as long as it doesn't cause problems in your marriage it is fine. When she gets older if she decides to follow one religion over the other will the parent whose religion she doesn't choose be o.k. with that? If she chooses neither religion, but another religion all together or to follow no religion will the two of you be o.k. with that? I think the problem comes most of the time when the child starts associating with one religion more than the other and the other parent gets upset that their religion is being rejected and they often blame the other parent for unduly influencing the child to choose their religion. When both parents are in harmony with what they believe it creates a strong foundation for the family and provides security for the children which is probably what your husband's friend was arguing for. I won't say it's impossible to make what you're doing work because I'm sure somewhere there are families that have. I have no personal insight as my husband and I are the same religion, but I have friends who couldn't make their interfaith marriage work and either one parent wound up converting to the other religion(usually the one less faithful in their religion would convert) to preserve their marriage or they wound up divorcing because of it. I think this is what happens most often according to statistics and what I've seen so I hope for the sake of your daughter that it all works out the way you want it to so your family is a happy one.

Mary - posted on 07/04/2012

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Kavitha,
I am a child of an inter-religious family. I have found that the mixture of cultures has made me extremely open minded and accepting. My father is a Buddhist, my mother is a Catholic. My mother's belief in God will stay with me throughout my life, I always have felt a strong connection with Him. My father's simple and kind way of living will also remain with me. The blend has made me into a well balanced individual. Do not allow someone to criticize your parenting choices, your daughter will grow up tolerant, unlike the man who has questioned the way you're raising her.

Jenny - posted on 07/02/2012

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Actually Leslie, there is no god. As indicated by the complete lack of evidence.

Leslie - posted on 07/01/2012

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There is only one God, and being a good person will not get you to heaven. Believe with all your heart and soul that Jesus is your (our) savor and then get saved. One religion is hard enough to understand but two different ones...That poor child she will be confused but hopefully she will start to ask questions and then one day can decide for herself. God Bless and God be with you and your family ;)

Alaina - posted on 06/30/2012

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My boyfriend is atheist and I believe in God. What we've decided was to just educate the baby in all religions and when he's old enough to decide, he will choose what's best for him.

Laura - posted on 06/26/2012

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"They are teaching her God is real (thank you Carrie!) while showing her that there is more than one way to worship.



Um, not necessarily. You're assuming that the OP and her husband subscribe to one of the three Abrahamic religions. And for all we know, they don't."



That's entirely possible and I think that may be the case, yet they are teaching her tolerance so I don't think it greatly impacts the whole picture.

Krista - posted on 06/26/2012

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They are teaching her God is real (thank you Carrie!) while showing her that there is more than one way to worship.

Um, not necessarily. You're assuming that the OP and her husband subscribe to one of the three Abrahamic religions. And for all we know, they don't.

Fran - posted on 06/26/2012

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I can't agree. First, the "poor children" as you note are just not that delicate psychologically. I am Christian, my husband is Buddhist-ish......there is no contradiction in the teachings of either faith. If you choose one over the other - one parent' s faith will in fact be deemed lesser. We need to recognise that our kids are quite smart - and just won't get confused that easily - unless of course, we are confused ourselves.

I don't believe everything that the "orthodox" Christians teach - and I DO believe a lot of the stuff Buddhists teach about compassion and loving-kindness (coincidentally the teachings of Jesus). I explained clearly to my children why I believed some things, and didn't accept others. So did my husband. They were allowed to make their own choices about beliefs. It didn't confuse them at all.

Laura - posted on 06/26/2012

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I think, Ilsa, that you may be a bit shortsighted. They are teaching her God is real (thank you Carrie!) while showing her that there is more than one way to worship. By being exposed to both she will have the opportunity to choose the best fit for her whether it be one of the faiths she grew up with or branching out on her own as an adult.

Carrie - posted on 06/26/2012

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My parents were Southern Baptist, & Catholic respectively. Myself, & two siblings were taught that God is real, no matter how you worship him, & allowed to make our own decisions concerning our religious paths as we grew up. I don't see any harm in what you guys are doig. Plus it is your daughter, & you are doing what you feel is best (& great in my opinion). Do what works for your family, & remind those who need it that it is your family. Best of luck

Ilsa - posted on 06/25/2012

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It is not a contest, but that what it becomes when you place a poor child in the middle of two religions. The couple should have an established faith and show the child they are serious about. The way you are treating religious is like a circus.

Ilsa - posted on 06/23/2012

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That means that the Jewish faith won over catholicism because Jewish believes in God, period,, while catholiics believe in God and in Jessus, as well as the Hollyy Spirit.

Fran - posted on 06/23/2012

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I agree Leah - and God is capable of touching people in whatever way God sees fit in their lives.

There is a Chinese Buddhist saying - that religion is kind of like a donkey. We each are riding our donkey up a particular mountain, but depending on where we started from the view is different. When we reach the summit, we dismount, because we do not need the donkeys any more.

Fran - posted on 06/23/2012

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I would say your husband's friend is dead wrong :-) I've been in a cross-racial inter-religious marriage for 41 years. I am Christian, a minister ordained for 20 years. My husband comes from a Buddhist family, but identifies himself as "spiritual but not religious". When our children were small and we were in Japan, we took them to the temple, and celebrated the Buddhist religious holidays and festivals. When we lived in North America, they came to church and participated in the life of the church. I always celebrate Christmas as a family gathering, and we celebrate the Japanese New Year.

My eldest child is now 40, the others are 39, 37 and 36. One married a Roman Catholic, and attends church but has enough sense to be able to separate what is important from what is "religious trappings". He is also the one who has read the religious writings of just about every world religion. One has no use for formalised religion at all. Two are in between. All have a very strong sense of right and wrong, and all are almost painfully honest in their ethics and value systems. They are raising beautiful children - three are raised a Christian, but are also taught about their Japanese religious heritage.

I personally don't think it confuses them at all. I do think it helps them recognise that all the major world religions have almost identical ethical systems - and it helps them to be respectful of others' difference.

Yvette - posted on 06/21/2012

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my name is yvette from newhaven ct with all do respect madone i think you should share both religion that way there would be no conflict to your child God bless:)

Leah - posted on 06/18/2012

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My mother was raised in a home with a Jewish mother and a Christian father, and when she grew up she became a Muslim...



She was not taught either religion so that she could choose when she was old enough to make her own decisions. When she became an adult she tried a whole slue of religions and then in her late 30's she converted to Islam.



I guess the point is that you have to be prepared to accept her religious choices when she is an adult. She may have some confusion during her formative years, but it more then likely will lead to self inquiry and there really is no telling where that will take her. But i also have to say that we all go through a period in our lives where we have to find spirituality for ourselves irregardless of our up bringing. Take my uncle or my father for example. They were both raised in a very religious Catholic household, but when my father was in his 30's he converted to Islam and when my uncle was in his 50's he converted to Buddhism. My brother and I were raised in a very religious Islamic house hold and now I am Muslim and he is Agnostic. We have a saying in Islam, "God makes Muslims not men," but this saying can be applied to any religion. I say follow your heart, and if God Wills He will guide you. May God Bless you and your family.

Evangelist - posted on 06/15/2012

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I'm a Christian, and in our bible it did not say force religon down the throat of a person, it said offer. All in All the child when it is grown up will chose to live a godly life or not, but they do know about God, you have done your job God gave everyone of us a choice.

Erin - posted on 06/15/2012

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We're in the same boat. My husband is christian and i am buddhist and i realised recently that in my passion to not skew her opinions in either directions i have been singing the praises of christianity and neglecting to share any of my traditions. I realised that i have been inadvertantly skewing her views towards christianity. I want to make it clear that i am perfectly happy if she decides when she is grown up to follow any religion she should choose but i do believe that she should be exposed to all religions possible. Diversity is something that extremists do not possess and i don't believe it could be a bad thing to expose your daughter to all the wonderful and inspiring faiths out there and allow her wisdom to steer her to her own future. Congrats for trusting in your childs wisdom.

April - posted on 06/14/2012

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I work as a synagogue educator so have some experience with this topic. I think you need to be careful with how you approach both of the religions. If you are celebrating both the religions purely from a cultural perspective then you might be ok. You will run into problems if you get into theology, of course, because Jews don't believe in Jesus and Christian's do (so that can be very confusing to the child). The important thing to remember is to not make your child "choose" a religion now or in the future because then it becomes an issue of choosing mom over dad and not about the religion at all. Most synagogue schools have a policy that a child cannot participate in Religious SChool/ Bar Mitzvah if the child is also enrolled in a Christian school. We had a family that lied to us and sent their daughter to both programs. A few months before her Bat Mitzvah the poor girl had a nervous breakdown and started crying in class and with the rabbi. She felt connected to Judaism and felt like she was being disrespectful to her Jewish practice by taking communion at Church. Becoming a Bat Mitzvah is a ceremony where the child commits herself to the Jewish religion, so of course, she felt like if she continued to go to church she would be lying. Above all, she was afraid to hurt her Catholic mother's feelings. Anyway, we have a few families at our synagogue that don't attend Religious School programming but participate in services, holidays, and social action activities and are very much a part of our community and a church community. Like I said, it's all how you approach it.

Leah - posted on 06/14/2012

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I have to say, first, that I think its wonderful that your main focus is bringing her up as a good person. Personally, I was brought up under one religion, and was in church 3 days a week, sometimes more often. As my life progressed, I started to disagree very strongly with my church. My parents were not supportive of my asking questions, and told me that if I have questions then my faith was simply not strong enough and I started to get a complex about going to hell. I started reading everything that I could get my hands on about the religions of the world and realized that a lot of people out there find joy and solace in their beliefs rather than fear. The result had ended with my being a spiritual humanist, which is what I now teach my own dauhter, also four. My point is that in teaching your daughter about both of your religions, you are giving HER the eventual choice and what feels right to her in her heart when she finally decides her preference. You're also teaching her tolerance, and that just because someone doesn't believe as she does that doesn't make them any less correct or any less worthy of love and respect. Frankly, the world could use more of that. It is not your friend's decision how to raise your child. It's yours. Congratulations, and thank you, for raising another good human. :-)

Ciara - posted on 06/14/2012

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i tink your husbands freind is very small minded no matter what religion we teach our kids we wnat them to be tolerate of all others..and wat better way for your child to understand this thann to b part of 2 religions..i tink yous are giving her an oppertunity to expierence both and wen she is older if she wants she can choose one herself...so in my opion ignore your husband friend and carry as you are...you are doing a wonderful ting for her...

Enid - posted on 06/14/2012

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I think it's okey to teach your daughter both religions, this will eventually help her to choose the religion of her choice.

Whitney - posted on 06/13/2012

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wow,i sort of got into a confrination with my sons dad about religion. But it all comes down to beliefs. And we came to a conclusion that we both will not force eithier religion on our son. We have our beliefs bc we picked them for ourself and it works for us. We will teach our son to have his own mind but still teach him about our belief/religion. What he deides is completly up to him.:)

Sherree - posted on 06/13/2012

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The decision of course is up to you and your husband. May your child always enjoy the benefit of having two very caring parents who want their daughter to grow up to be a good human being ♥

There are many cases where the child who has not been brought up with one specific religious identity chooses neither of their parents' religions.
It is possible to raise a child in one of the religions and still have the child respect and learn about the other religion of the other parent. As far as what to do with holidays, there is a difference between celebrating a holiday and sharing another's holiday.

Depending on what the two different religions are, it can be challenging "blending" different basic ideologies.

I wish you positive thoughts in whatever you and your partner decide. and I wish you much joy with your daughter.

Jenny - posted on 06/13/2012

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It is your child's decision, not yours. It is best to let them come to their own conclusions on such matters. There is no such thing as a Christian/Muslim/Buddhist etc. child, only a child of Christian/Muslim/Buddhist etc. parents. Just focus on bringing her up to be a kind, generous, curious, critical thinking adult because it's the right thing to do and she will be just fine.

Laura - posted on 06/13/2012

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Susan, your response is the very definition of intolerance. Christianity is one of many faiths worldwide. I respect your beliefs, but I also respect those of my Jewish and other non-Christian friends and the only thing I ask in return is the same consideration.

Meghan - posted on 06/13/2012

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I think you are doing a great job. Don't worry about your husband's friend. Your daughter is growing up with an appreciation for both her parents' faiths, and that is important. You are teaching her that just because one religion is a little different from another, doesn't make the one better or more relevant than the other. As she grows up and learns about other religions, she will have an emotional connection to that idea, and she will be more knowledgeable and tolerant about religions in general than her peers. Also, she won't be judgmental of people based on their faith. The world needs more people to grow up like your daughter. I have a three-year-old daughter who is growing up Catholic, because I am and my husband doesn't care one way or another. My battle is worrying about when my daughter is old enough to wonder why her daddy doesn't go to church, but she and Mommy do.

Sandra - posted on 06/13/2012

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Is the OP still reading? I can't help but think that the number of people preaching their path instead of addressing her question has scared her away and we are speaking to an empty room. If you are here, do your spouse and you have a lot of religious conflict or philosophical differences, because that is the biggest stumbling point. Otherwise, small differences are easily explained by growing up in different places (or with different ancestors) with different cultures that all were trying to achieve the same basic goals. Neither is superior; they are just different paths up the same mountain.

Marika - posted on 06/13/2012

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I was also brought up by inter-religion parents and I have gone up to be able to separate the two. It comes naturally. Now that I'm married and in an inter-religion marriage we are doing the same with our son. And in the long run I think thay should choose what thay want.

Frances - posted on 06/13/2012

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I also have a four year old, I think this situation is confusing, there must be many inconsistencies, I would encourage you to explore your own faith, with your husband, and work out what you agree on and focus on them. Being open that you don't have all the answers could help to!

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