Is childbirth really that bad?

Samara - posted on 07/20/2010

well Annabeth, let me begin by saying congrats on motherhood!, as a mother of three and a Doula I have experinced birth in many settings and my best advice is to trust your body! believe it or not your body is prepared to deliver your son and to do it as painfree as possible. during each natural contraction your body will be releasing a hormone to your brain that gives you energy and pleasure. I have seen 16 year old first time mothers endure very strong contractions with ease and grace! you can do it! you are doing it!:) I would recommend taking a child birth class, reading Labor and delivery by Penny Simkins. also, prepare a birth plan that clearly states your desires for your birth. There are many things you can do to make yourself more comfortable during birth. Being relaxed allows your body to work and in the long run will make things go a lot better. good luck... and put the mute button on the birth stories they will just freak you out and throw you off your game!

Deb - posted on 07/20/2010

You will be fine. I found using slow deep breathing the most helpful. It was tireing more that painful. And I knew at the end I would have a wonderful baby...which I did a beautiful baby girl who I love more each day still and she is now 20yrs. People like to tell 'horror stories' but remember it will be your journey, and at the end of the day however bad it may be it is only one day in your life! Deb

Marla - posted on 07/19/2010

Dear Annabeth,

Congratulations on your first baby!

I have been a nurse and a homebirth midwife for over 34 years. My recommendation is that, if all is well with your pregnancy, you should labor at home with one or two very trusted people around you so that, like any other mama mammal, you can have the privacy you need to really allow labor to get established. Once your contractions are really rolling, take a doula with you into the hospital so that you will have the benefit of experienced labor support. Surrender to the process of labor and birth and don't attempt to control it. Birth is a right brain activity, and the more you attempt to control it, the more likely it is that things will be diverted from normal. Women all around the world give birth every day without drugs but only in a few "developed" countries such as the United States do we expect women to labor alone and without the support of other experienced women to guide them. I hope you will have a kind and experienced midwife to guide you in the hospital.

Stop listening to these other women's negative "war stories." You and your baby don't need to hear them, and those are their stories--not yours.

All the best to you as you bring your baby boy into the world!

Hugs,
Marla

Katie - posted on 07/19/2010

Oh sweety, listen.. Every one will experience it differently. When i had my daughter 2 months ago, i knew i was having a big bub, i just didnt expect a 10 and a half pound baby girl lol. I was huge, I had morning sickness for 3 solid months, several times a day.. waddled every where, had carpel tunnel from the swelling, was so so exhausted and aching.. and when i reached the labor, i thought.. how much worse could it get. lol.. famous last words.. My baby girl had to be pushed out for an hour and a half with the help of forceps, vac extraction and a very large episiotomy. I was in agony until i had my epidural.. and yes love, its a big needle, but when your in labor and having contractions, trust me, youl hardly notice it. After the epi, i was on cloud nine hehe.

But before hand the ache in my back and lower pelvic area was enough to have me in tears. But a friend of mine who had her daughter, pushed her out in no time and used no drugs at all. Ever one has a different pain threshold, but this is what meds are for if you need them, you dont really have to have a birth plan either, because you cant predict what sort of birth you will have.. I did know how ever, what drugs i wanted to use.. i researched them a lot before i decided what to use through my labor. So perhaps have a look into that.. As for the walking, i guess its different for every one, but that advice was given to me by a friend who had it work for her, and when i was in the hospital only a cm dilated, they decided nothing was happening and where gonna induce me the following morning.. i paced that room back and forth, and my labor contractions started 3 hours later.. i was 4cm.. So i guess it cant hurt to try it.

You know why labor is scary hun.. because your scared of the unknown.. you cant predict the sort of labor you will have, and when every one tells you of their different experiences, its hard to really know what yours will be like until u encounter it. You will do fine.. your body deals with it when the time comes, i think an instinct kicks in when you are in labor. We are designed to to this, and when they bring that little boy up to meet you, you will forget all about the pain.. i promise.. and im sure these ladies on here will agree too. You see that beautiful baby and nothing else in the world exists in that moment. I would go through allllll of it again in an instant.

Tina - posted on 07/19/2010

I was told that it is like s***ing a brick and that is pretty close. The first stage is very uncomfortable, the second is like a stretching pain so the more you can push to get him out the better. My first labour second stage lasted 1 hr 20 mins, but the second one was over in 20 mins. My daughter did it at your age without any pain relief despite being a complete wuss about pain in everything else. The only problem she had was 'slithering' all over the bed and when she had finished it took us 30 minutes to cut the knots out of her hair so if you have long hair, put it in a plait. I had stitches both times and she did too - you have been through so much by then that you won't even notice the needle going in to numb the area and you will only feel a little tugging when the stitches are put in - some don't have them anyway. I had very little water and when the midwife broke it for my second delivery, she wasn't sure she had managed it as there was so little. My friend had hers break on the toilet at home and by the time she got to hospital 10 minutes later, they were still leaking. You will be fine - just remember you have been pregnant for 9 months and this labour very rarely lasts longer than 1 day. Good luck!!

Melissa - posted on 07/19/2010

I think the one thing that helped me most was having a mental plan. Mind over matter can conqure anything. It was very painful; I did it all natural with no drugs, but continually said to myself "endure to the end". If you have a goal or something to focus on, like the arrival of your beautiful babe you will have a successful labor. I also love the Bradley method. Get a book at the library on the Bradley method. It goes over the steps your body will go through and knowledge is power. I know that knowing what I could kind of expect my body to do next was very helpful to me. It can be a beautiful experience if you want it to be. I got the epidural on my second child and it was wonderful....If you’re not sure about your pain threshold gets the help of the drugs. Good luck.

Emma - posted on 07/19/2010

Hi annabeth it might spook you out what all your friends and family have said about childbirth, but childbirth is how you make it. if you struggle with the pain of contractions have the drugs they can give you, you never know to you the pain might not be so bad. the way i prepared for it if am totally honest is i watched programmes on tv about childbirth, i didnt have a plan because kids will never follow your plan lol. everyone feels nervous before having their first child infact i know a few people who felt nervous after their 3rd child.
with regards to how do you know your in labour, its hard to describe as i was in and out of the hospital with just braxton hicks, but when the time comes you just know this is it.
Yes walking can help with delivery as you have gravity helping bring the baby down try not to stay in bed all time is my advice as sometimes it can slow your labour down if you can't walk try standing leaning against the bed and rock from side to side.
If you decide you dontwant drugs try an aromatherapy bath or get some to give you a massage that can help you concentrate aswell as relieve some of the pain.
I hope this was helpful in any way.

emma 21 uk

Sandra - posted on 07/19/2010

Hey Annabeth, my name is Sandra and I'm the proud mom of an almost-3-year old. I choose for a natural birth, no drugs involved, and would do it again.

I guess it's normal to get a bit nervous right before delivery because you don't know what to expect. I remember getting nervous when I went in to labour. Which by the way felt like lower back pain at first.

Everyone has a different experience from their pregnancy but I can give you some tips:
Ask if you can get a small tour of the delivery room, labour room (if your hospital has them) and the different facilities they have for you during labour, some hospitals have baths, those big ergonomic sitting balls to sit on,... I spend 7 hours of labour in a bath and it helped me tremendously.
Now no one can tell you in advance what will work for you but if you think having music, or a pillow, even a favorite stuffed animal.. will help you get through labour, bring it with you!
You may not need it but if it helps, it helps. I took music with me but couldn't stand any extra noises when in labour lol
The doctors are there for you to help you, if you're not sure whether you want drugs or not than ask them how much time you still have to decide. They will not give you drugs from the first labour pains but there is some time between the first pains and the point where there is no point in taking an epidural anymore. It's okay to decide then and there. :)


And if you do want to go for a natural birth, just keep these things in mind:
That baby has to come out, one way or another.
The pain will end, and yes it does hurt but your body can handle it, it is build for it. Endorphines will kick in eventually and they work better than any drug lol I was sooo out of it on endorphines at the end they had to remind me when too push!
And once that baby is out, your body helps again, the pain is gone and you feel awake.

Hope you have a great delivery :)

Melissa - posted on 07/19/2010

I think the one thing that helped me most was having a mental plan. Mind over matter can conquer anything. It was very painful; I did it all natural with no drugs, but continually said to myself "endure to the end". If you have a goal or something to focus on, like the arrival of your beautiful babe you will have a successful labor. I also love the Bradley method. Get a book at the library on the Bradley method. It goes over the steps your body will go through and knowledge is power. I know that knowing what I could kind of expect my body to do next was very helpful to me. It can be a beautiful experience if you want it to be. I got the epidural on my second child and it was wonderful....If you’re not sure about your pain threshold gets the help of the drugs. Good luck.

Mary - posted on 07/19/2010

the best advice i can give u is dont listen to horror stories each person is different and what works for some one else may not work for u i was 18 when i had my first i was very nervous and had an epidural because everyone told me u wouldnt feel a thing but it didnt work for me i went on to have 2 more kids with ust gas and air and am 10 weeks off having my fourth i think birth plans are a good idea to have an idea of what u want but nothing every goes to plan keep that in mind child birth does hurt but once u have ur baby in you arms u quickly forget the pain as it was all worthwhile

Andrea - posted on 07/19/2010

I had our son 11 days ago and its true, nothing prepares you for what is about to happen. I didnt have a birth plan and im pleased I didnt as it would have been straight out the window. I had to be induced in the end as we were 11 days over. I was induced by having gel placed on my cervix and within 5 hours I was having rather strong contractions. I was then administered pethedine which I felt made the contractions worse and I had gas about an hour later which didnt work as well as I would have hoped, only took the edge off about a quarter of the contractions. I ended up needing an epidural to cope with the pain (and I have an extremely high pain tolerance) to top it all off I ended up needing to have a ventouse (suction cup) birth after 21 hours of labour and needed stitches which still sting & throb. So if I had to say it went how I expected I would have to say no.
In saying that, I wouldnt change a thing for the pure joy we now have in our lives every second of every day.

Hope I havnt scared you with a snippet of our story and best of luck ~ you will be fine :)

Natasha - posted on 07/19/2010

yes labour is very painful and at times long just keep in your mind when that time comes at the end it will be well worth it. if u git pain med u aint anyless of a woman. u do what u think is best for u and your baby.

Elicia - posted on 07/19/2010

I found that having lots of showers while i was having contractions helped me heaps. I had a 61 hour labour which ended in c-section because my pelvis was too small. I went with the flow and i had an epidural at 53 hours. I've heard walking is good, i also heard that a tablespoon of castor oil can bring on labour as well as spicy food. Good luck honey hope all goes well for you

Sue - posted on 07/19/2010

I have had 2 boys myself, firstly, everyone is different, so there is no strict rules, keeping calm (where possible) relax now as much as possible, exercise but dont over do it, eat well. Enjoy this part of pregnancy its the best bit, think about what you would like for your birth, but dont worry if it all goes out the window as baby will come when hes ready. Some people just know when they are in labour, my waters broke before i got contractions, yes it does hurt but only as much as you can take as there are ways to calm it down, breathing panting etc do help, sounds silly but it does. I found no matter how it hurt at the time once i had baby in my arms it did not mattter any more, hope this helps, best of luck, and enjoy.xxx

Kelly - posted on 07/19/2010

Hi my name is Kelly I have to girls. My first girl was breeched(wrong way round to come out)so i had an emergency ceasrean. With that i had to be put to sleep because they couldnt get the spinal needle in my back.
My 2nd girl was a normal delivery i never went to any classes i strongly advice i felt if i had more practiacl info the less scarey it would have been and you will know more of what to expect. I had lots of gas and air and i was in pain but it was bearable.
Everyone is differnt you know yourself i know of lots of women who have had the epidural and i think mentally and emotionally it took the panick and fear away because you dont feel anything below your waste talk to your midwife and people do tell you scarey stories but everyone has a different experience i wish you well and congrates to you

Ella - posted on 07/19/2010

all i gotta say for tips: you will know when your in true labor when you cant talk during a contraction. first baby ur water proy wont break right away at home doc might break for you. it doesnt hurt at all if anything i though the warm water felt kind good. for me i went all natural cause i believe (unless your life or babys life is in danger) your body knows what to do and can make it through it woman have been doing it forever. but if your gonna do it that way have a back up person know and be your speaker and tell the doctor no to pain meds. because contraction hurt HURT HURT and by the time you cant freak out and beg for the pain meds (which you will) hold on just a little longer cause your baby will come fast at that point. what i did helped me alot after my water broke i bounced around for and hour or two on a yoga ball then i started to walk and then i had someone hold me up and slow dance with me during contractions (cause i couldnt stand up that good) then i used the whirlpool bath last and that was when i started to beg for meds (boyfriend was my talker)
now when it is time to push you are going to feel like you just peed a gallon of water this will happen like three or four times. now for other girls i hear terrible stories about pushing for hours and hours. but it only took me nine min to get him out and for me it didnt really hurt it just felt like taking a really constipated poop. but right when your lil boy comes your gonna forget all that pain cause you have a baby they take him to clean him up a little bit and no one really tells you this but you shiver, shiver you feel so cold and shiver like your freezing to death (dont know why) but it goes away after like 5 min. and the placenta you dont even feel it come out but if you dont want them to inject that pitocin in you after birth tel them know and breast feed right after he comes out of you this will naturally separate it. plus help your milk come it....good luck i hope you have a safe delivery. its not as bad as everyone says it is.

Elaine - posted on 07/19/2010

Like so many other mothers I want lie it is scary and natural. but I think perparing you can and sometime help get your mind to think I will have a beautiful baby after this is all over with. Your mother sister and friends were trying to help having someone ther in labor help but that would depend on you. When all is said and done and you hold your baby in your arms the merory of your pain is gone. Its worth the pain just to know God gave you someone so presious and needs your love. Waling help when its time but there is no sure one way fits all. They have super nurse who can help when time comes

Christina - posted on 07/19/2010

i think the most important thing for me was to have the one person there with me that I was close to and was a good support person for me. this will be a very important and trying time for you and having only those present that will be able to selflessly offer the support you will need will be crucial to having this experience be the best it can be. good luck. and try not to worry so much. that baby will come whether or not you worry. i hope you will be able to enjoy and appreciate the experience as much as possible.

Alida - posted on 07/19/2010

If you have pain killers you tend to rip less.
I forgot to say that I had 27 with my 9 mont as well But I AM GOING TO DO IT AGAIN a couple times if I am blessed enough. The best thing about your first is that your hubby-mate will never be the same lol. the way He looks at you will change to a new love and respect. I love that part.

Alida - posted on 07/19/2010

There is no hiding the truth. It Hurts more than anything.
But You don't even think about it durring the whole thing. Your body prepares yourself mentaly. And the most Painful part is when the baby is ready to come out. You tunnel vission to the goal and think of nothing else but meeting your little man. And they say "mothers amnesia" for a reason. we all really forget about the pain until it is time to do it again.
I have 3 kids One 6 - No pain killers 27 stiches
One 4 - Epedural and 12 stiches
And one 9 months - No Pain killers and almost had him at home lol. (made it thanks to the ambulance lol)
I would say Pain killers are the BEST I enjoyed that birth the most.
I was scared the first time. But now that I have 3 I look forward to the birth process it is the BEST part because you get to hold the little bundle that kicked you for the last few months.
Go with the flow. The baby didn't read the books. Do what your body tells you. and don't hold off on the Epedural get it as soon as you can!! with my first I waited too long and with my last he came in 45min start to finish. (You don't want that)
Sure it hurts and you want to scream stay calm as you can (yeah right lol) Screaming keeps the baby in you because if you don`t relax your boy will not stretch right. Keep your mind on the goal. Cold clothes are your friend. Go in the whirlpool if available water makes you feel good. NO PAIN NO GAIN. I am sure that is what spurred the saying lol.
Don`t worry you will forget it all in a day. And you will live to go through it all again.
Good Luck
Do Keegal it helps with the birth

Britney - posted on 07/19/2010

Everyone is different - my mother in law has told me horror stories of my husban's birth - how he ripped her BOTH ways on his way out, and my mom has told my stories of my birth - less than 4 hours of labor, 2 pushes, and no drugs. I went into labor about a month early, but it just stopped! My doctor told me it was fairly normal for that to happen, but I never went back into labor - I was induced at a week past my due date, but the induction didn't even send me into labor! I couldn't dilate at all. I blame that on the fact that I was dead set on having a c-section, but my insurance wouldn't allow it unless it was a must. So, my body decided to make it a must! lol Good luck with your labor, and if something happens where you have to have a c-section, don't let the stories scare you; they aren't that bad. I looooved mine! I didn't use any pain meds after my sugery in the hospital, even though they had me hooked up to a do it yourself morphine drip, and I only took one Vicodin after I was sent home!

Carla - posted on 07/19/2010

Really felt nothing. Wonderful experience. Viva epidural

Jaime - posted on 07/19/2010

Hi Annabeth, congrats on your baby boy :-) Its a great time! Every woman who has had kids has her own story about her labour. It can be very offputting and scary to hear other people's stories. When I look back on my 2 deliveries (I have a 2yo and a 8 month old) I think they werent that bad. It just depends on how your delivery goes. In my opinion I think its best to just go with the flow. See how you feel.Everyone deals with pain differently. If you find yourself not coping with the pain ( and YES IT IS PAINFUL) then you can always ask for pain relief. Whether its just an injection, gas, or an epidural. I had an epidural on my first......I was induced with a drip. Being induced was horrible for me. The contractions came strong and fast with no chance of recovery. That is why I got an epidural. For my second, I had NO pain relief at all. The delivery was SO fast I had no time for it. I was so proud of myself :-) With that said I think labour is the MOST painful thing a woman can go through. But in saying that......once you deliver the baby, the pain goes away entirely and when you look back on it, it doesnt seem so bad. I guess that's why we all go back for more!
Its a scary but exciting time. Try not to worry too much. And dont feel bad if you opt for pain relief of any kind. Why do you think so many women opt out for an elective Cesarean?
Anyway good luck! Just think, in a few months time it will all be over and you will be able to look back on it and smile :-)

Deborah - posted on 07/19/2010

Take a birthing class and remember to breath. Besides that don't focus on that part of pregnancy as much as possible. Labour stories are scary but remember that the story teller survived.
Focus on being healthy, mind body and soul!

I coped thru labour with staying out of bed, breathing, and bathtub, and a support system to help remind me of the little things (drink, pee, breath) and reminding myself it won't last forever!

Kerri - posted on 07/19/2010

It is bad...but most people have more than one...right?! ( I have 3) SO it is something that..although it isn't fun we do again and again to ourselves. Birth plans are good to have to feel prepared and make everyone around you know your wishes without bugging you during labour, Since you may want to kill anyone who is bugging you! But you have to be ready to throw it out the window if needed and don't worry because all you really want is a happy, healthy baby. Best of luck with everything!
Kerri

Suzin - posted on 07/19/2010

Hello Annabeth,

I now have 2 girls. I was so scared before my eldest birth and everyone told me their bad stories!

I stayed very active during my pregnancies and found that the birth while painful was not as bad as everyone had shared! I did not need the needles, stitches or drugs.

Everybody goes through different expriences and this is now yours, enjoy the moment as much as possible as it really is worth it in the end. Trust me.

Let your body go with it as much as possible, it was designed to do this and with your body being young it should handle it better.

Best of luck!

Susan

Stephanie - posted on 07/19/2010

first of all dont listen to haw bad it is cuz alot of times women dont rmember after. i had my daughter w nothing. no drugs, docs, or any sort of help. labor is not bad but contractions are uncomfortable. dont worry yourself it will make u tense and will be harder for u just stay calm

Hanna - posted on 07/19/2010

well, everyones labour is very different. for example- i was in labour for 5 days- my sister in law was in labour for 5 hours. I pushed for 5 hours.. she pushed for 15 minutes.. haha so it varies. the drugs do help a lot, but they don't make all the pain go away. the only way i know how to describe it is.. you feel like you're having a very large bowel movement.. haha. it's not as bad as what everybody says though, besides it's all worth it at the end!
I was scared to death before I had my daughter.. I was ready but very afraid. I was induced so.. I'm not sure what going into labor feels like..
I would highly suggest making out a birth plan.. it lets the doctor and nurses know what you want.. because labour is all about you and your needs and if they're doing something you don't like.. you probably won't have patients to tell them what you want and how you want it.. In my birth plan i included very simple things.. only my mother and fiance in the room (other than doctors). I wanted Ryan to cut the cord- no drugs until I asked. I wanted to beable to use the tub as much as i needed- whenever I wanted.. just anything simple you can think of..
Walking will help a lot along with kegels (sp). anything working the muscles down there (and in your legs) will help out a lot.. Also you use your arms a lot during labor so just be prepared for that, too.
I highly suggest using the whirlpool tub if they have one.. it relieves a lot of pressure and it's VERY relaxing.
good luck, i hope everything goes well for you!

Kathryn - posted on 07/19/2010

I think most people are scared of the unknown, the fact is this baby is coming, the more relaxed and comfortable you are with the idea the easier it will be. Birthing plans rarely go to plan because there is no way of knowing exactly what to expect when labour is in full swing. Listen to everyone and use the advice that is relevent at the time, the midwives are a great help. If you are going to use drugs etc, start with the ones that wear off quick like gas, then if you dont like it progress to the next choice. Don't leave it until the last few hours if you don't cope well with pain. Yes there will be pain, but as soon as your baby is there the pain is over. .. I was 16 when I had my 1st son and I feel at that age your body is able to cope with the stress of childbirth a lot easier than having your 1st baby later on in life.

Mary - posted on 07/19/2010

Be sure you are getting exercise regularly now to help prepare for the birth and sign up for childbirth classes if you haven't done so already. Keep exercising throughout the entire pregnancy. As already stated each birth is different. Usually you will have contractions and your water will break signally that yes you are in labor. The pain varies with each woman but you need to discuss what your pain options are with your doctor who will deliver the baby now. Don't wait until closer to delivery because if the baby decides to come early you won't have made a plan for pain meds with your doctor. You should also discuss with your doctor what you will do for birth control once the baby is born. That needs to discussed now because it can be easy to get pregnant again once you have this baby. My 2 children are 10 3/4 months apart so that shows that yes it can happen. You doctor will give you suggestions on how to handle the pain and so will the instructor in your childbirth class.

Kate - posted on 07/19/2010

First and foremost you need to be prepared for what is about to happen. Go out and get What to Expect when You're Expecting. Education is the best way to be prepared.
As has been stated, every person's experience is different and one person may have different experiences from one pregnancy to the next. Here is the bottom line: Yes, it will hurt, probably more than you've ever hurt in your young life but here's the upside: it's one day out of your life and it's over. When it's over you have this precious little person who will rely on you for everything. That's the part to be afraid of, the being a mother part. You will have a whole team of people there to help you through the labor and delivery of your baby. It's the responsibility of caring for another human life that's the hard part.

Marta - posted on 07/19/2010

Just relax! You have youth on your side. I was 17 when I had my son and 20 when I had my daughter. Both were natural childbirth...no drugs. I won't say it was painless but I been through lots worse. You'll do fine.

Gene - posted on 07/19/2010

Learn to RELAX! Don't fight the pain. It will be over soon and you will have a wonderful gift!

Christy - posted on 07/19/2010

I have 2 kids both were very easy deliveries and pregnancies. My first child I had contractions and went into labor, my second my water broke. I reccomend chiropractic while pregnant it keeps your pelvis aligned and allows the baby to come out easily. I got my first child out in 2 pushes and my 2nd in 1! Hope that is helpful. Childbirth is miraculous and something I think everyone should experience.

Nicola - posted on 07/19/2010

Hi I was 17 when I had my son and for most people these days the care and support you get is soo good that its really not THAT bad. I was induced so it was alot worse (they say 3 times worse them natural labour) and I did get an epidural and I also had a 2nd degree tear but I forgot what the pain really felt like almost straight after its kind of left in your mind as a dazy memery, you know it hert like hell but it almost seems like a fake memery. I think had I of gone naturally I could have done it drug free. You have to memeber everybodys pain fresh hold is different, for example my mum had such a bad time during labour (mind you she was induced and it was almost 20 years ago so the standards weren't very good) so bad she never wanted to give birth again where as I on the otherhand found it hard while I was in labour and being induced but the moment I had given birth (this may sound crazy) I looked at our new son and thought that wasn't so bad right on to the next one. lol

Brandy - posted on 07/19/2010

Hi,
One thing that really helped me was child birth classes. If you haven't taken any, I highly recommend it. Labor is very painful, however I delivered 4 babies without an epidural. I did have some pain meds to help. Walking and staying in shape are great ways to prepare you. Work on your breathing with a partner, maybe the baby's father? It is good to have someone to work with that can be there so you two can develope a plan. Good luck and congratulations on your son!!

Ruth - posted on 07/19/2010

I kept telling myself "You are not the first nor the last woman to have a baby so don't overthink it." Expecting the worst pain made it bearable for me when the time came. Trust your instincts. I knew I was having my baby since my pain was getting worse and longer. My husband and I read and asked a lot of questions to help us prepare, all the time remembering it could be different for me. I opted for a needle free delivery after learning that an epidural could slow down the natural progress of the delivery. And pitocin could cause your baby's heart rate to increase. Which could then have your hospital staff recommend a c-section. We toured hospitals before picking one. I think not enough women take the time to ask what their options are because they expect the doctors and nurses to know what is best. I disagree. A good birthing experience will include a labor and delivery team that is willing to accommodate your requests (like a needleless birth) yet be ready to preform an emergency C-section if needed. You will do fine whatever you decided to do just ask a lot of questions from your caregivers and hospital. And remember to do what is best for you and the baby. Good luck.

Jetta - posted on 07/19/2010

honestly..everybody's delivery is different..i had my son when i was 17..and yea it was painful and i did get stitches..but after everything happened u feel relief and proud that u got ur lil man here..no matter how painful it mite b..i was so nervous when i went in 2 labor that mornin..contractions hit hard..but when it was all over it wasn't that bad anymore

Brittnee - posted on 07/19/2010

Hey I'm 20yrs old an jus gave birth 7 weeks ago to my son. I was nervous as well as the due date came closer an closer. There is pain involved but trust me the whole experience will fly by and when its over u will think it wasn't that bad. I had bad back labor so I did end up getting an epederal.just take the pain meds and keep your eye on the prize ur son. My only advice is try an have very supportive people in the delievery room with you ur going to need someone to lean on. When it comes time to push it will go by fast and it is actually the least painful part. Also they say going to the chiro and makin sure ur spine is aligned will help for a smooth delivery. the only part I felt was hard was the first week at home alone just me an my son. U will see tho its the most rewardin experience ..when they look at u an u couldn't imagen life with out them. Good luck you will be just fine!

Rebecca - posted on 07/19/2010

Yes it hurts, but it's soo worth it!! Good luck honey:)

Patricia - posted on 07/19/2010

Above all, in the end, your instinct to bear it like a fighter will kick in, and you will have your baby, and all the moments you are uncomfortable will have melted away, and be not a big deal at all.

Tabitha - posted on 07/19/2010

My first one was harder I'd say. I didnt even know I was in labor at first, just thought was bad BH that wouldnt go away cuz they werent very regular. Then I kept feeling it more n more n VERY uncomfy to sit down. read online to drink water n lay on left side, if it stops its false labor if it persists its real. So I literally slept 4-5 mins getting woken up with contractions 4-5 mins apart and I think i really fell asleep between them lol.. I was tired :) got stadol in my iv, I hate needles n idea of epidural freaked me out. stadol knocked me out, I caught up on some lost sleep I was about to lose n what I lost from being fat n preggo :) I slept off n on till it was time to push. Pushed thru the "ring of fire" my midwife called it for 33 mins n he was here.
with 2nd, 4 pushes n she was OUT! midwife almost wasnt dressed n gloved in time to 'catch'. its EVEN HARDEr trying NOT to push then it is to go with it and just push when u feel it :) good luck!!

Kathy - posted on 07/19/2010

When I had my first I didn't do anything special but he was also a week and half early. I got up and went to the bathroom then was climbing back into bed when my water broke at 2:00 am. I didn't have him until 1:20 pm. He decided to put his little head on my pelvic bone and not come down for 4 extra hours. The doctor was going to do an emergency c-section when he came down finally. The only two things I did was have people their that would talk to me and rub my back. With my second it was the complete oppisite. I startedhaving pains first a week early. The doctor broke my water after three hours of walking. He checked me and said he would be back after office hours. He left at 9:00 am. I was checked by the nurse every hour until 1:00 pm. I called the nurse back in at 1:30 the baby was coming. At first she did not want to check but she did then pressed the red button and was calling for everybody to come running. My doctors office was next door to the hospital and he still did not get their in time the nurse played catch. My last child the doctor sent me for an extra sonogram two weeks before I was due. They decided they needed to induce because of my blood pressure would go up and his heart beat down. I drove around the corner 2 minutes to the hospital walked in the door and my water broke as I was checking in I had him within the next hour and a half. So you can see it can happen any way

Heather - posted on 07/19/2010

Congrats Annabeth! A little boy- that is wonderful. There is something SO amazing about being the mother of a little boy. They are just so snuggly and sweet and precious. Many congratulations to you. Your obvious concern and excitement are already making you a wonderful mother.
Before I had my first son I was pretty excited. I did a lot of research about the birth and decided, for me, to try a natural birth without pain medication, and felt comfortable that my body was made and prepared to do such a thing. The information I read helped me not be scared of the process, and instead empowered- so I would suggest educating yourself as much as possible on the process and try to make the best decisions for you and what you want for your labor and baby.
If you have not had "false labor" or braxton-hicks"- aka- practice contractions yet- you will soon. When you are truly in labor they will most likely stick around consistently and get stronger. My water did not break with either baby- just started having very consistent contractions.
You are doing a great job to prepare even just by asking for advice. You will get all sorts of responses, so do your best to sift through it all and take the positive bits from everyone that you can that you think will work for you and your baby.
Afterwards it may be tough for a bit. Your baby is dealing with a lot of changes and hormones. Your crazy emotions and moods will be out of control at times and you may find yourself crying often and not know why. Take a deep breath and know that everything will be back to normal before long. You are about to go through a major life change and it will be crazy- but seek some support and take comfort in knowing that so many women have been where you are going and that many have experienced what you are about to experience and have lived to tell about it. Try to enjoy as much as you can handle and the rest will fall in place.
Best of luck and much love to you!

Krystal - posted on 07/19/2010

Hi Annabeth,
Congratulations on the up-coming arrival of your baby boy! First of all let me tell you that women LOVE to exaggerate their birth stories to see the fear in a first time soon-to-be mother's eyes. I don't know why, perhaps it makes them feel like a hero because 'they went through it'...I got the same information from women when I was pregnant with my son (he is now 11 weeks old). Here's some info for you, hopefully it will help you in some way.
Yes, I was nervous about labour and birth aswell. I was told many things, from the horrendous things can can go wrong (very rare so let's not focus on those)...etc. My personal experience, however, was wonderful.
I was unlucky during my pregnancy and had insulin-dependant gestational diabetes which meant I had to be induced at 38 weeks (2 weeks early). The night before my induction I had an uncomfortable sensation in my back and when I arrived at the hospital at 5am the following morning for my induction, discovered that I was already in labour. Long story short, my labour wasn't progressing fast enough so I ended up still needing the induction.
Everybody's experience of labour pain is different as we all perceive pain differently. For me, the early stages of labour were quite manageable and actually a little boring! My contractions felt like strong Braxton-Hicks contractions with a little pain in my lower back. Once the induction kicked in the contractions became longer, stronger and closer together very quickly. The height of the pain that I felt (before my epidural!) was like bad period-like pain that wrapped around to my lower back - felt like it was in my kidneys - and down my buttocks and thighs. The pain only lasts for as long as the contraction lasts and then you get a break until the next one. I kept my eye on the contraction monitor, would start my breathing exercises as the contraction started to rise then really concentrated until its peak. Think of it as climbing a mountain! I also used a birth ball during labour and found this really helpes. Of course, if you get an epidural you won't be able to use this after it's been administered (but you won't need to, either!). The best advice I can give you is to be flexible with your pain relief options and don't go too hard-core on a birth plan. Even if you're the most planned person in the world like me, you will fins that you won't use it! Let the midwives help and guide you and you will be fine. Just remember that with each contraction and sensation of pain, your baby is that much closer to being born. Good luck!

Katie - posted on 07/19/2010

OK first thing don't worry, Our bodies are made for this type of thing and remember everyone has horror stories that's them NOT you. If you go into it thinking the worst you'll panic and thats not good for either of you. As for how will you know? you just will... you'll have contractions or cramps or maybe your water will break and if it does don't panic just call the hospital or go asap so you can begin care. Labour is tiring and contractions are painful but yknow? no one said pushing a watermelon through a button hole is easy but pushing and all that that comes with giving birth IS do-able. Just remember you definatley dont want to keep having the contractions so pushing is the next step. you are working towards something at that point and you will feel so much better when you push. You can help the baby kinda drop by doing light lunges or walking or sitting on a Yoga ball.(yoga ball is the best i think) but dont start yet its too early hes not done cookin yet so wait as long as you can so you dont have to worry about preemies etc....I hated being pregnant but I would totally give birth again it doesnt feel great but you will be so proud of yourself and amazed at what you just put your body through and survived..LOL I thought i deserved a freakin metal....actually I still do. OH and dont worry about a birth plan they are NOT planable just remember to check your dignity at the door when you check in to the hospital that baby is gonna come no matter what you scheduled. Go with the flow moma it's a crazy road ahead. You will be fine...promise.

Jessica - posted on 07/19/2010

childbirth is not bad at all i had my little girl completly natural and i didnt hurt as bad as everyone said it did and i was in labor for 18 hours!!! as long as you have a good delivery coach on how to breath and everything you will be fine trust i was scared to death as first... but i was not bad at all!! hope everything goes well

Marie - posted on 07/19/2010

Oh gosh!! I remember before my first daughter I heard the worst stories. I had what felt like gas pains until my water broke, about an hour later I had a baby. I pushed 3 times and spent the whole time waiting for the "bad part" The truth is having my wisdom teeth removed hurt worse. After that with my last 2 babies I had people telling me i couldn't get that lucky agian. I did. I have never had a bad labor. Yeah the needles suck, but you forget about that quickly. I don't know if walking really causes labor, but I do think the fact that I was in pretty good shape helped me with birth. As for a birth plan, I did have a bag packed for myself and the baby, and my doc and I knew I wanted an epidural. Oh and I had a list of people that had to be called. Good luck and I hope you have as easy a time as I did.

Stacey - posted on 07/19/2010

Hi Annabeth, I have given birth twice. 1st time i was 18, had no drugs just the gas and was in labour for 6 hours. yes it was painful and i balled my eyes out in the last 45 minutes thinking i was going to die and that i needed a c section but when my son was born it was alomst instant relief. 2nd time i was 22 and in labour for 4 hours and i had an epidural 30 minutes in to the contractions. i felt nothing! literally couldn't feel a thing below my bikini line. i was talking and laughing whilst giving birth it was very strange. I'm not preggers yet but when i have my 3rd and final baby i will not be opting for drugs i will be trying a water injection. sounds weird i know but i saw it on the news and it's basically pure water injected into your back the same way as an epidural and it's supposed to relieve the pain. i was induced with both my boys but contractions feel like really tight muscle pains just below your breasts and in your back (same as period pain spots) that get really intense then go. i was so nervous before the 1st birth that i thought i would never go home but as soon as it was over i realised that everything was fine. Just remember every birth is different! don't believe everyones horror stories cause yours can be the opposite. walking does help bring the labor on if you are due. best of luck!

Stephanie - posted on 07/19/2010

Biggest piece of advice I could give is don't have any expectations for a fast labor or recovery. The hardest thing for me to get over was that in all my labor was 26 hours and recovery was 3 months (meaning, it took me three months to not be in constant pain anywhere.) I was not expecting that and dashed expectations make everything harder to handle!