Is it inappropriate for a shower for a second child?

Kimberly - posted on 09/27/2009 ( 126 moms have responded )

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Is it inappropriate to have a baby shower when you are having baby #2? I know someone that is having another one, and it seems weird, especially when she has stuff (her first is 3). Just asking on other people's opinions on this

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Calyn - posted on 09/30/2009

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I think every baby is a reason to celebrate. I think each child should get a shower even if it is the same sex baby. That way when they grow up you have baby shower stories for both your children instead of explaining to one that they were born second so that meant they didn't get one. Stuff from a previous baby is always great but they might still need new stuff. Diapers, bottles, clothes may have been too worn etc.

Bernadette - posted on 09/27/2009

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As a rule, I do not attend second or subsequent showers. I do, however, take a gift for the new Mom after the baby is born.

Amanda - posted on 09/27/2009

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If both babies are the same sex, and it is within 5 years, it is considered to most to be rude to have a second shower. If the new baby is a different sex then normally its ok to have a second shower, but everyone only buys clothes for the child.



I never had a shower for my second child even though he was a different sex then his sister who was a year and 1/2 older. I also didnt have a shower for my youngest who is 11 years younger then my oldest.



But than I also consider it rude to have more then one shower for one child. I know of some woman who have upwards of 4 showers for one child. They claim they did this cause both sides of the family, friends, and then both sex shower (hubbys and wives).

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Angela - posted on 12/31/2011

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I think the whole question of gift-giving showers is rude, period! They are not a common custom here in the UK, but it's really not the done thing for a couple to host their own baby shower. It should be hosted for the mother by her sister, or even better, an unrelated friend. If you're having baby showers anyway I suppose it's not any worse to have one for each subsequent baby.

I hate wedding showers when those who take part might not even be invited to the wedding. That's uncomfortable and unfair to the shower guests and also to the future Bride. If it's hosted by someone other than the future Bride, it puts pressure on the Bride to invite those who gave generously at the shower!

Originally the aim of a "shower" party was to shower the person with advice rather than gifts.

It's just another consumer society rip-off in my opinion!

Christin - posted on 10/03/2009

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HMMM...well I feel a little both ways. I think that you should get together and celebrate every child! Maybe instead of calling it a baby shower you can make invitations to celebrate. Also maybe there shouldn't be a registry. That would be asking for gifts. If someone brings you one it was their choice. I hope that makes sense. I don't want to step on any toes.

Shannon - posted on 10/03/2009

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I reckon its asking a bit much! You will get presents from people who want to give them when you have the baby.

Tracey - posted on 10/03/2009

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I had one child and had a baby shower, I had the second one 8 years later so I had another shower. I hten had a third child 3.5 years later didn't have a shower because I wasn't feeling the best and was doing heaps but would have done it too

Olga - posted on 10/02/2009

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I think it's great to have a shower fpr each. Child. They'er all special and should be ceelbrated!!!!! I have 3 children and have had 3 showers. my eldest actually threw the shower for the middle child. My job threw the shower for the third.

Jaclyn - posted on 10/01/2009

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I'm expecting my second child, we will be finding out the gender in November. I decided after my first child that no matter what the gender of our second child, we will have a welcome baby shower after the birth of our second child. I want to celebrate the new life and show the child that they are also important, by having shower pic and info in the baby book. I'm ok if the guests don't bring gifts, as long as they come and meet the baby. I have registered in case anyone wants to get gifts for the baby, the items are things that you always need like diapers, wipes, baby medicine, bottles, baby monitor (ours is flaking out) and a backpack diaper bag. Also if the baby is a girl we will need cloths since boy clothes will not do, everything else is nutural.

I have a friend that registered for everything new for her second baby, when all of her things from her first child were 2 years old. I'm not sure that she had a second shower, she was thinking about it. I do know that she got most of the new items, which I think that she could have made do with the items that she had.

[deleted account]

This day and age, nothing is inappropriate when it comes to a baby and what people choose to do for you. They are showering you with gifts and good wishes for the "new" baby, not just for the fact that you are pregnant. I don't think it really matters how many children you have, new things for the new little guy/girl is always nice. Especially the more you have.

Vicki - posted on 10/01/2009

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I two of them my son was 6 was my daughter was born sowe had to of them It was so much we play games and food and tons of fun.... And one on friend just had one for baby number 2 and they wil be 13mts a part and when we did for her was we put things ba book and diappers and thngs that she would need that she did not have...... And it s 2009 things have changed and maybe she just wants to have a fun party

Stacey - posted on 10/01/2009

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We had one for my 2nd because it was mine and my husbands 1st child together (his 1st). My family threw that one it was also different gender then 1st and 7 years later. My 3rd one family again threw us one although I told them not to. I certainly would never throw one for myself.

Lisa - posted on 10/01/2009

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No i dont think it is. I had three children. Two girls and then my son and i had one with every child. Yea i did the hand me downs for my daughters but its always nice to still get some new stuff for the new baby.

Becky - posted on 10/01/2009

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I see nothing wrong with having a shower with each child, I have had 4 children and only have had 2 showers. The baby can always use new things and the shower can help to replace worn out or broken items. There is nothing wrong with celebrating a new life at any time!

Stacey - posted on 10/01/2009

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I dont think so. Im going to buy my friends baby things anyway so why not get them something they need and have a great girls day doing it!!

Valerie - posted on 10/01/2009

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i dont think so coz there is always stuff you need for each individual child and its also friends getting together to show how much you care. val..

Nadine - posted on 10/01/2009

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I think it depends on the situation and how you view a shower, a gift giving event or a celebration of a new life... I had a shower for baby # 2... my first was about 3yrs old... my situation was also a little different than most... I'd been in a flood when my 1st was almost a year old, so I had NOTHING left... but I think regardless gifts or not I would have felt very disapointed and kinda lonely with out my sisters putting together a fun party to celebrate.

Michele - posted on 09/30/2009

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If someone wants to throw you a shower, let them. There are always things you need, especially if there are a few years between births. EVERY baby is special...celebrate!

Laura - posted on 09/30/2009

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If the children are born far apart no it is not. I am talking 7-10 years. But if they are close in age yes very tacky. If you want to celebrate have a meet the new baby gathering. Otherwise it just looks like your trying to get gifts.

Julie - posted on 09/30/2009

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No, I have 5 children and was given a shower for the 1st, but also had a shower for the 4th and 5th children. We lived in different places for each birth.

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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people will buy gifts to celebrate the birth of each baby whether it is your 1st or 10th!!!

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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I think it depends on their situation. I had a shower with my 2nd child for 2 reasons. One it was our first child together, my husband adopted my 1st child when she was 4 after we got married. Two there was 10 YEARS between my 1st and 2nd child. I had given everything away. Didnt plan on a 2nd but than we changed our minds later.

I think if the kids are close together it is not necessary esp if they are the same sex

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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I think it depends on their situation. I had a shower with my 2nd child for 2 reasons. One it was our first child together, my husband adopted my 1st child when she was 4 after we got married. Two there was 10 YEARS between my 1st and 2nd child. I had given everything away. Didnt plan on a 2nd but than we changed our minds later.

I think if the kids are close together it is not necessary esp if they are the same sex

Jill - posted on 09/30/2009

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I have three kids and I had a shower for my first and third. Number three is 8 years younger than my oldest and 6 years younger than my middle. My husband and I weren't planning on having any more kids and we gave all our baby stuff away before I was pregnant with our third. In a situation like that I can understand having another baby shower, but if you're just looking to get all new stuff for the baby that's on the way, it seems kind of greedy. (with the exception of clothes and blankets)

Shulena - posted on 09/30/2009

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I know that your not suppose to have an baby shower for child #2- on but I think every child should be celecrated. I have a 6yr old son and am now 4months pregnant with twin girls. I have nothing left from when my son was an baby, so I am having an baby shower.

Kathy - posted on 09/30/2009

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ditto to all who commented that it's NOT inappropriate. there is always "other stuff" that parent/baby needs, not just the big stuff. plus it's not fair, those kids will grow up to say "why didn't i have a shower?" and it's a reason to celebrate your upcoming bundle of joy! :D

Malia - posted on 09/30/2009

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I think it's weird if that person who is expecting another child ASKS or EXPECTS a 2nd baby shower.... but if friends and family just want to give her a shower then that's awesome.

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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Quoting caryn:

I think that if a mother wants to have another shower for a second, third or in my case a fourth, HAVE ONE!!! Not everyone understands the circumstances going on in many families. If you dont think it is appropriate then DONT GO! I had this exact situation during my last pregnancy when a friend informed me that I shouldnt have more than the first... Ironically enough she forgot that she was the one that threw the second one for me years ago... Moms if someone judges you for a multiple shower, then just conveniently leave their names off the guest list!



love it my words exactly!!! lol. good quote!!

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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Quoting Chezronda:

no! its a different child and you should be able to celebrate that as you did the first child! also, some parents dont do hand me downs! If and when I have a second child, everything has to be new as with the first!



i agree totally, i have 4 and everyone of them had a shower!! its not fair to the other kids and they are fun too!!

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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Quoting Marie:

I do not think it is weird to have a baby shower for each child you have. It all depends on how you view the shower. I view it as a way to celebrate each child's life. Receiving gifts is not the only reason. Also, you can request lots of diapers and consumables that you would not have left over from the first baby. I say: Go for it!



def!! always needed diapers and new bottles and onesies. people that dont have more than one child dont understand, when i had my fourth child my things were old worn and i wanted my child to have the best like the rest of them did u no?

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

I vote no. I feel it is completely appropriate to have a shower for each individual baby, not just one for the bunch. Each child is a unique individual, and should be celebrated as such. It's not very nice when they grow up and look through their baby books and see that a shower was not held for them, but yet there was a shower for the older and/or younger sibling(s). There is a reason you can make a gift registry, or you can have a no gifting shower. Either way, everyone gets to celebrate the coming of a new baby.



i totally agree with u!!!!

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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Quoting Amber :

I think its ok if its with another husband or boyfriend or if its a different sex. Its really stupid when some women have like 3 babys showers.



why is it stupid? each child deserves to have their special day as well as the mother bearing the child. its nice to look forward too and y leave that child out? i had showers 4 all 4 of my kids and it was great!!!

Melissa - posted on 09/30/2009

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i dont think so at all. i have 4 kids and i had a shower 4 each one of them. each child is special and should have their special day as well as you. there was things i needed even though i had other children. i think being pregnant and the whole process deserves the reward of a shower and new gifts for the child :)

Darlene - posted on 09/30/2009

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not at all,,,you don't have to give big stuff ,& with a new baby you can always use sleepers,blankets,little stuff,.My grandson is 19mnts and my daughter has given everything of his away as he grows out of it or to big for it,,to new moms

Jennifer - posted on 09/29/2009

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I vote no. I feel it is completely appropriate to have a shower for each individual baby, not just one for the bunch. Each child is a unique individual, and should be celebrated as such. It's not very nice when they grow up and look through their baby books and see that a shower was not held for them, but yet there was a shower for the older and/or younger sibling(s). There is a reason you can make a gift registry, or you can have a no gifting shower. Either way, everyone gets to celebrate the coming of a new baby.

[deleted account]

I think that if a mother wants to have another shower for a second, third or in my case a fourth, HAVE ONE!!! Not everyone understands the circumstances going on in many families. If you dont think it is appropriate then DONT GO! I had this exact situation during my last pregnancy when a friend informed me that I shouldnt have more than the first... Ironically enough she forgot that she was the one that threw the second one for me years ago... Moms if someone judges you for a multiple shower, then just conveniently leave their names off the guest list!

Melody - posted on 09/29/2009

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Honeslty.... I think it all depends on if the baby is of a different sex. But typically I would say Yes.

H - posted on 09/29/2009

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Of course it's not! The shower is for the child! Each child should feel welcomed and just as loved as the first one. Yes, the mom may not need the same things as she did with the first, but there are still needs - even if it's diapers and bibs or bottles. I tend to get something practical for the child (ie diapers), a special thing for them (ie a luvey) and then something for mom and dad (often times I make a lasagne or something so they don't have to worry about cooking for a night.)

Kim - posted on 09/29/2009

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MY SISTER IS HAVING HER 3RD BABY. HER IST IS 3, HER 2ND IS ALMOST 2, AND SHE'S DUE IN DECEMBER.



THIS ONE IS A GIRL, SO WERE VERY EXCITED!!

WERE NOT HAVING A SHOWER FOR HER, BUT ME, MY MOM & GRANDMOTHER ARE GOING OUT TO LUNCH & SURPRISING HER WITH GIFTS

Sylvia - posted on 09/29/2009

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Why not? Don't second babies deserve to be celebrated, too?

I mean, I guess it depends on the spirit of the thing -- if you're on baby #6 and you have tons of stuff already and the whole thing takes on the character of a gift grab, that's one thing, but I don't see the harm in inviting people to come over and celebrate the new second (or third, or fourth...) baby.

Maybe it also depends on what people give as shower gifts in your part of the world. Among my friends it's stuff like books and cute little suits and tiny socks and teething toys, but when I had my daughter my sisters-in-law clubbed in to buy us this HUGE "travel system" stroller (the kind with the "baby bucket" car seat the snaps in) -- apparently by them, shower gifts are supposed to be BIG. So I can understand why if you spent a hundred dollars on a present for the first baby and it's still perfectly serviceable, you might not want to spend that much on the second baby. But why not have the party anyway, and buy something small? Onesies and socks that were worn for six months straight tend to get pretty worn out ...

Marie - posted on 09/29/2009

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I do not think it is weird to have a baby shower for each child you have. It all depends on how you view the shower. I view it as a way to celebrate each child's life. Receiving gifts is not the only reason. Also, you can request lots of diapers and consumables that you would not have left over from the first baby. I say: Go for it!

Amber - posted on 09/29/2009

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I think its ok if its with another husband or boyfriend or if its a different sex. Its really stupid when some women have like 3 babys showers.

Ashley - posted on 09/29/2009

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I believe every child is worth celebrating. I also believe it is up to the mother to be... I had two showers... One for each boy.

Kendra - posted on 09/29/2009

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i didnt have a shower or party at all for my second child while i was pregnant due to the fact that i didnt want to be "rude", and now i regret it. it wasnt a matter of gifts, but more so a matter of celebrating my baby, and a new life, and a time to just be happy, it saddens me that he has two blank pages in his baby book that will never be filled because it would have been "rude" according to my family

Alisa - posted on 09/29/2009

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It used to be, more so back in the old days, now I think it depends on the situation, and the people around you. For instance, my two boys are 13 years apart, and they have different fathers. Obviously, i hadn't kept the other childs stuff, too much time had gone by, and some items, not all would have been out dated. With two families, and also a different church in another town, of course everyone wanted to have me another shower, and because 13 yrs. had passed by it was like starting all over again, so I was very thankful.

Tosha - posted on 09/29/2009

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I agree completely. I am 22 weeks pregnant with our second child, a boy. My daughter just turned 5 a month ago. We are a military family and moved alot and we also did not think we were going to have another kid so we didn't hang on to anything. We don't have a crib or carseat or stroller or bottles or anything!!! So, we of course would like to do a shower for our son. I don't see anything wrong with it at all!

Kasia - posted on 09/29/2009

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I've been to showers for even the 3rd baby coming (and had been to their first 2 showers prior to that). I think they are a great opportunity to get everyone that you care about together to celebrate such an awesome life experience.

TAMMY - posted on 09/29/2009

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I WOULD SAY ONLY IF THE CHILD IS A DIFFERENT SEX. YOU HAD A CHILD ONLY 3 YRS AGO, YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE YOUR BABY THINGS FROM THAT. I WOULD NOT ATTEND THE SHOWER, BUT MAYBE TAKE A GIFT TO HOSPITAL AFTER CHILD IS BORN.

Melissa - posted on 09/29/2009

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I would not do it-- but that is me. I have seen it before but think it is a little too much especially with the older child only being 3

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