Is it just me?

Katherine - posted on 03/05/2010

Hi Karen,

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Thanks,

Katherine

WtCoM

Administrator

Cara - posted on 03/05/2010

They say it takes a village. I truly miss all the assistance I received from my family with my daughters. My girls Dad's took credit for them without doing much at all.

Kudoes to you for having the support of grandparents...No one does it alone.

Years ago my best friends sister left her husband with the children, paid child support and went on to get a college degree. My friend and I were appalled at this then and now we look back on it and laugh at how difficult it was for us to see a woman who decided to take her POWER back. All the best to you!!!

Mary - posted on 03/05/2010

I wish some people would just zip it. I always tell my friends: listen to no one and go with your gut. I left my daughter for 2 nights with my in-laws when she was 4 months and 1 week with my parents when she was 6 months (God forbid one of them didn't get her! lol). She was fine and her grandparents were overjoyed. Of course, we called everyday and looked at her picture constantly! lol. But there is no reason to feel bad. If you're comfortable with a sleep over then you should do it. Shame on whomever made you doubt yourself!

Mallory - posted on 03/04/2010

I never have had a problem with it, but I am lucky enough to have both sets of grandparents on the same page as us on parenting and we love and trust them a lot. It gives a good break that, I think, both parent and child needs once in a while; and if the child has fun and enjoys it I don't see the big deal. I takes a village to raise a child. I am, however, a bit selective on whom I will let babysit my children.

Katy - posted on 03/04/2010

No one has a right to judge you for making that decision for your child! We have left my son wiht his grandparents overnight on a few occaisons and all was fine. You don't need to jusitify it or defend yourself, ever.

Sarah - posted on 03/04/2010

I am the same way Karen. My son stayed at his grandparents when he was a month old. I never once asked them to take him but they insisted that my husband and I go and enjoy ourselves. I see nothing wrong with this.I think mommy and daddy deserve a nice break once and a while. :)

Jess - posted on 03/04/2010

My daughter has stayed with my parents for a night back at christmas time. She played baby Jesus in their church nativity ! She made a wonderful baby Jesus, despite the gender confussion.



I don't see anything wrong with babies staying the night with their extended family. I did see a post on here asking how young and how long would you leave them.... One mother said she left her NEWBORN for 2 weeks (by choice) !!!! I could NEVER do that, this may be the same post Karen saw perhaps.... one night and I was climbing the walls to have my daughter back at home !

Diane - posted on 03/03/2010

It is important for children to develop relationships with their grandparents, and who could possibly be a more trusted babysitter when needed? It is important for children to develop relationships with any trusted adults other than their parents, because that is what helps them ease into social situations like school. If a mom does not have trust for her child to interact with anyone other than it's parents, they should not be surprised when their child is screaming and holding onto their leg because they do not want to be left anywhere without them.

Becky - posted on 03/02/2010

As Nana myself, it is such a pleasure for me to keep my grandbabies anytime. I think it shows respect and confidence in us, I feel as if I have my kids trust with their little ones with us. I look forward to each baby spending time with their Nana and Peepa! It varies with each baby and their parents. Usually my kids wait until the baby is sleeping through the night so that it is not too rough on us. But I keep them as often as I can. It should be whatever the parents feel comfortable with.

Emily - posted on 03/02/2010

ummm... there is absolutely nothing wrong with your kids sleeping at a family members house. i cant even imagine where the rants come from. lol. as long as they are fully capable of taking care of an infant/child, know what to do if something happens, etc, then it should be fine. i mean, really, it is family. and clearly if you are still around your parents did a satisfactory job. :) i wouldnt be concerned with any of those people. everyone needs a little break, and who better than family to give you that break!

Jessica - posted on 03/02/2010

I think its rediculous that people would be upset over this. If the person you are leaving your child with is responsible and caring, whats the problem? My son is 6 months old and we have left him with his grandparents and good friends since he was 2 months old. I do not think it is something parents should do all of the time, but everyone needs that little break...even if its just for a few hours.

Definitely dont let anyone make you feel you are doing something wrong.

Chryzy - posted on 03/02/2010

Who better to treat your babies right than grandma or grandpa?!?!

Tammy - posted on 03/02/2010

Listen, my mom and dad would take my kids one at a time and let them spend the night or watch them for vacations sometimes. I am so grateful for loving parents. My two daughters are teenagers and still call grams and gramps to come spend the night or the week end they play games together watch movies and know each other so well. What a great gift it is to have them for a safe haven when the kids need a break from thier regular routine and stuff at home. My parents have been a very possitive influence during those hard times kids go through. And isnt it wonderful that they know they can count on there grandparents. My little kids wont have that same kind of chance to bond like that with them because of thier health now wont allow it. But if you have a wonderful family allow them to be close to your kids it will bennefit all of you in those later years and it will bennefit the granparents too. They love the company and knowing whats going on in their grand kids lives!!!

Ashley - posted on 03/02/2010

I think it is absurd that people act that way! My son, Julian, who is 6 1/2 months now is very loved by boths sides of his family, especially his grandmothers. He is the first grandchild. He spent the night with my mom overnight like a month after he was born. I would never ever leave my son with someone I didn't trust. My son is definitely a mommas boy and our bond has had no change from him spending the night at his grandparents house.

Renee - posted on 03/02/2010

I'm a grandmaother and I love spending time with my grandbabies and they still want there mom. so there is nothing wrong with it. I ask for my babies all the time I don't get them all the time but I ask. I feel its a indivual dicision as well. I'm Blessed to have grandbabies. Maybe the ones that don't trust the grandparents really need to pray about why that is.

Andrea - posted on 03/02/2010

I would love it if I could could leave my boy overnight with G&G. It's not that they are far away, it's just that he refuses to sleep and wakes up screaming a lot so I don't want to put them through that. He's also breastfed. That time to rest and reconnect is very important and good for you that you've found an effective way to do that.

Zoe - posted on 03/02/2010

mine stop with grandparents too. i loved it as a kid stopping at mine. i will always remember my little suitcase i used to take and sundays being the football results on the tv while we had tea beofre my parents picked us up. my kids love stopping at thiers, i have 7 y/o, 5 y/o, 18 month twins and a 6 week old. the youngest hasnt stopped yet but the others love it.

Lois - posted on 03/01/2010

Hey, my parents raised 4 children so I never had any qualms about leaving my son with them.

Monica - posted on 03/01/2010

I totally agree with karen!! Mommies need breaks, too, and leaving the baby with the grandparents doesn't hurt anything (unless they are breastfeeding and won't take a bottle!!) My little stinker (#3) was stubborn, and refused a bottle. So, we would sneak away as soon as she ate, and then knew we had to come back within 2-3 hours when she got hungry again (hard when you live 30 min from a city!) But, we managed, and now all 3 love nights at Grandma's. Daddy and I do, too!!:)

Gina - posted on 03/01/2010

I don't have the option of over night really, my mum and my in laws look after my little boy the majority of the week whilst I work full time, so I would feel a little cheeky asking them to look after him over night as well. I think it is so important that they bond with their grand parents and my little boy has the most wonderful relationship with both sides of his family and always still sees me as mummy, I trust both sets of his grand parents 100% and am spo happy he has such a happy time with them.

Stephenie - posted on 03/01/2010

wish i had family close by-i am almost 2 thousand miles from family-my kids have only seen their grandpas(their grandmas have passed on) a couple times and dont really know them-it makes me sad-if i was closer to family my kids would have the opportunity to know them. But i do have some wondeful friends that help out with my kids when i get sick(i am a migraine sufferer) or when i could use a day to get some major cleaning done-and its nice to get it done. i also return the favor-my daughte loves having sleep overs-she is turning 4 soon-my son not so much-he is a mommas boy-I LOVE MY KIDS!

Stephenie - posted on 03/01/2010

wish i had family close by-i am almost 2 thousand miles from family-my kids have only seen their grandpas(their grandmas have passed on) a couple times and dont really know them-it makes me sad-if i was closer to family my kids would have the opportunity to know them. But i do have some wondeful friends that help out with my kids when i get sick(i am a migraine sufferer) or when i could use a day to get some major cleaning done-and its nice to get it done. i also return the favor-my daughte loves having sleep overs-she is turning 4 soon-my son not so much-he is a mommas boy-I LOVE MY KIDS!

Jodi - posted on 03/01/2010

I personally have become sort of a surrogate mom for my friends two daughters. They are 2 months and nearly 2 years old and have been a close part of their lives since birth. I take them for one night every other week for my friend and her husband to have that much needed alone time. I think it gives them time to connect with each other as well as time to catch up on some much needed rest. My children are 19 and 12 so it is nice to have little ones around again even though they are not mine I love them just the same. I think it is important for there to be some scheduled mommie/daddie time it is better for the relationship and will keep them focused on what is really important and that is the well being of the kids. I dont see the problem with leaving your child with some one that you trust whether it be a close friend or family.

Barbara - posted on 03/01/2010

ME TOO KARI!!!

Amy - posted on 03/01/2010

My little one is 4 months old and her Grammy can't wait to keep her over night. I breastfeed and she WON'T take a bottle so Grammy can't keep her until I stop breastfeeding. I think it will nice for me and the hubby to have a night together!

Kari - posted on 03/01/2010

reguardless of the childs age, it is nice for all sides to get a break. the parents, the grandparents and the child. its a win win win situation. mommy gets a break, baby gets used to mommy leaving AND coming back, and the grandparents get bonding time. I am new to this site, but I dont see a problem with sharing your blessing with your parents. that is why God made grandparents... dont ever let anyone make you feel bad for something that only makes the family bond stronger. and as a grandparent.... I am very thankful that I get to spend time with my grankids. regardless of who initiates the sleepover. I will take the little ones whenever I get the chance.

Patricia - posted on 03/01/2010

I can not remember how old mine were when I first left them with a relative overnight. I love and trust my mom and sis as well as my mother and father in law and brother in laws. They love my children as if they are their own. I feel completely at ease when they are with any of them otherwise I would not leave them. I try not to judge others. But I see nothing wrong with being cautious when it comes to your children. Its your job to keep them safe.

Susan - posted on 03/01/2010

I agree with you Karen. We don't do it very often, but you do need that alone time with your hubby, and taking the baby to Grandma's for a sleep over allows that. Not only that, but you never know when something might happen and you need you child to spend the night somewhere else. You don't want that emergency occassion to be their first experience with that. Since my 15 month old was born, I had to make 2 trips to the emergency room for myself, and it was nice to know that we could leave her at my in-law's and she wouldn't freak out, because she had already stayed there for fun before then.

Barbara - posted on 03/01/2010

As a Grandparent, I love having my Grandkids over and to spend the night! Not only does it give my son and his wife personal time but it gives me and my husband some bonding time with our grandkids! I see nothing wrong with having a close relationship with your grandkids!! I myself am very close to my Grandma and I hope my grandkids have the same special relationship with me. I dont see how you can get close to them if you dont spend as much time with them as you possibly can!! Just my thoughts!

Tina - posted on 03/01/2010

I feel that it is important for a child to sleep over at close relatives as this gives the child to bond and form close relationships and to also venture out and see different enviroments. I feel it also gives them a bit of independence and a chance to show off there skills of getting dressed or brushing their teeth plus it does give the parent a chance to spend quality time with there partner.

Priscilla - posted on 03/01/2010

as most have said, it's a personal decision. those of us who don't have to worry about our babies (no matter how old) being with grandparents or relatives are simply lucky because we actually have loved-ones we can trust. other people who don't feel comfortable don't have to explain themselves. i think it's too bad for them but i really don't think they wanted to be in such a situation.

Karen - posted on 03/01/2010

both of my children have stayed with their grandparents. this is not very often and to be honest i would jump at the chance if they offered to have them overnight. they are 2 and 3 and love staying there, they get spoilt rotten and we get some much needed time together. yes i worried the first time and text numerous times to see how they were getting on. i still text now the odd times they are away but i know they are well looked after.

Jennifer - posted on 03/01/2010

I left my 19 month old son overnight for the first time with his grandparents last week. My family was excited to have him there and he loves spending time with them. I was the only one who had an issue with leaving and made a big deal when I saw him the next day. Maybe it's just us moms that feel a little sepperation anxiety who get "up in arms" and can't believe someone would leave there baby all night.

Leisa - posted on 03/01/2010

yeah my 8 year old sleeps at his grandparents' every so often, my 4 year old wants to but always ends up wanting to come home and i don't mind, but me and them weren't comfortable with it until about the age of 4, whatever age i'm sure all grandparents love it!

Hillary - posted on 03/01/2010

That does seem strange to me-- after all, the grandparents raised the parents and the parents obviously turned out ok. A few nights with them shouldn't hurt anything. Even though mine have told me they're going to feed my son cookies for dinner! :D

Adele - posted on 03/01/2010

I think it is a personal choice as to when you start letting your children sleep round other peoples houses but I think that if you leave it to long you could make it worse for yourself because a time will come when you have to leave them over night and if they are not used to it they wont be very happy about it.



My 2 year old loves sleeping round his nanny's but my 4 year old niece who has never stayed round anyone else's house was not happy about staying round mine when her parents when away for a weekend.

Janine - posted on 03/01/2010

Hi Karen, I would never berate any parent for their decision to have grandparents babysit for their child. My husband and I take our 2.5yo son down to his grandparents around once a month and he stays for the weekend. We have our 'date night' and he has a ball at the farm. We started this tradition when he was quite young because I was having a lot of trouble with postnatal depression and they wanted to help, now they are asking, when is Connor coming down next. They love it just as much as he does, I love helping to develop this special bond between grandparents and grandchild, I had a special relationship with my Nanna and I want to help that to develop with my son. He visits his other grandmother as well, but they don't have the same special bond. One-on-one time with your partner is very important to keep the family together, I hope this is a tradition that will continue as long as my parents are able.

Wendy - posted on 02/28/2010

I can't believe ANYONE would get "up in arms" over this issue. My daughter is 4 and goes to my mom for weekends on occasion and sometimes for even longer stays. She has been doing so for over two years now and I see no problem with it at all. My mom and sister love having her - we live an hour away - and my daughter loves her 'holidays'. I think it teaches her independence and if, god forbid, anything should happen to me she would have no hesitation in going to her second home.

Diane - posted on 02/28/2010

I'ts just kind of hard to breast feed from across town. ; )

Amy - posted on 02/28/2010

I think that itis a personal decision,too. But my twin,2, have never slept over any where. Unless i was there too. But my other kids(10, 8, 6) have all sleep at friend, Aunts, Uncles, grandparents, many times.

Leisa - posted on 02/28/2010

i don't think there's anything wrong with it, i'm not one to pass judgement, and it's perfectly fine to want to spend time with your husband. everyone does things differently, no it's not just you, infact i am one of the only ones i know that chooses to have my babies fulltime (unless ducking off to the shop, but i am breastfeeding). i always chose to spend time with my children before my husband, but we are madly in love and happy to have our hands full with the kids 24/7. we wanted to have babies and part of that is having less time with our husbands than before, so i don't actually have a large circle of friends who have kids because they think there's something wrong with me because i'm not wanting a break. in saying that i do know alot of women who get tired and do need a break and there's nothing wrong with that, it depends on the mother herself.

Amelia - posted on 02/28/2010

I wish my parents lived near by so my son could spend the night over at their place every once in a while! I think it is important to have alone time with your husband. And time with grandparents are important too! I think my husband and I would be a little less stressed if we had occasional nights alone.

Carol - posted on 02/28/2010

Grand parents are a great resource. Let them take the kids, its good for everyone. Leaving babies with the elders is really nice. I had less worries than with daycare, or even the thought of a baby sitter. If they survived raising you or your husband, they can handle your little ones for a few hours or even days.

Margaret - posted on 02/28/2010

I feel that it is not a bad thing to leave an infant overnight, or even a weekend, with a grandparent providing the grandparent is able to care for the child. Most grandparent are far more experienced than young parents at child care and let me tell you no one loves those babies more than Grandma. People who find fault with this are just insecure of their own capabilities or perhaps have parents that were not as caring as most. Let Grandma have some joy and bond with that baby.

Carol - posted on 02/28/2010

It is hard being the mother in law and to deny the visitation of the child or children is not being fair. I have two sons and I get my grandchildren whenever I want them. I raised the fathers, why would I not be able to change diapers and feed babies any longer and love them? I do not think that daughter in laws and son in laws are fair to their in laws. There are exceptions to letting in laws have the kids, if the grandparent is incapable or an alcoholic or drug user, etc. then it would be a good idea to keep the visitation with one or both parents of the child.

Kathryn - posted on 02/28/2010

i think its absolutely fine (whatever age) as long as you trust them and your child is happy stay with them!! After my t baby first son was born i was re-admited to hosp for almost 5 days without baby and he was cared for by my mother (who is obviously the next best thing to me!) and since then has slept there more times than i can remember!! My 2nd son always asks to stay a nans and it is great for her.....its a little bit of time just for them and also a break for us......

both my boys have had such an established bedtime routine from a young age and they are comfortble and look forward to sleepovers not just a nanny;'s but aunties aswell.

Jennifer - posted on 02/28/2010

I think those mothers might be jealous of that kind of support. I think if the Grandparents ask and your kids are ok and you know it will be ok, then once in awhile that is a wonderful thing. I would never demand or expect it though! It does not always have to be a sleepover, and parents should be able and willing to come and get their kids at any time!

Teresa - posted on 02/28/2010

I love the overnights. Our kids are 4 and 6 now and to them it's the best thing in the world to stay with grandparents or aunts/uncles. To them it's like a mini adventure out of their normal routine. We did it as early as about 3-4 months old when we went on vacation. It's harder to connect with your husband with the little one's around. You're the two that hold everything together, it's important to have alone time once in awhile. Definitely nothing wrong with overnights, enjoy every minute of them! :o)

Kat - posted on 02/28/2010

Hi Karen,



As a live-in grandparent, I help my youngest daughter and son-in-law with my youngest grandson's care. Personally, I don't think that there's anything wrong with leaving a child with his or her grandparents on occasion, unless there are obvious issues with the grandparents (whatever that might entail). But especially if the grandparents have initiated the request, I just don't see the harm. Most kids love to hang out with their grandparent's when they're younger. It's a break from the rigors of mom and dad.



However, other than the issue of consideration for the grandparents, in my opinion allowing a child to learn from others besides the parents -- and this can also include other family members/relatives and close friends-- parents occasionally need a break. I remember all too well what it was like to need a break. If it weren't for my mother and sisters, I don't think I would still be sane. No offense to my daughters; they were and are both fantastic women and wonderful mothers. I was just often quite overwhelmed.



What's wrong with our society that we seem to now be looking at the extended family unit as a bad thing? The break-up of the family is one of the things that is contributing to the fall of our civilization.



Children need ALL members of their family of origin AND their extended family to thrive.



Blessings,

Kat Starwolf

Hope - posted on 02/28/2010

I think it's whether or not the parents feel comfortable leaving their child overnight.I don't think anyone should be critized for their decision.My daughter was almost a year old before i would leave her overnite.but she was much younger when i would leave her with the grandparents for a few hours.