Sara - posted on 12/29/2011 ( 96 moms have responded )
I'm in a very serious and very happy relationship with a great guy. He has a 1 year old child with his ex and my question is whether it is normal or fair that she insists that if he wants to see his child he has to come to her house. He lives close by, has a great place, is very dependable, but he's always over there several times a week. He assures me nothing is going on between them and I genuinely believe him but she is very cold to me and refuses to make efforts to acknowledge me or integrate me into the situation, despite the fact that my boyfriend has been very clear about the serious nature of our relationship. We have been ring shopping and are planning to get married within the next couple of years, but how do I deal with the fact that bio mom wants everything on her terms and severely restricts the ways in which he is able to be a father? He tries not to rock the boat too much to maintain access to his child but am I right to think that -- even with a fussy baby who has trouble with new situations -- it is not appropriate for him to not be able to develop a relationship with his child separate from her? I am trying to be pleasant and accommodating to her but this is starting to get to me and your advice is so so so appreciated.