Is it ok to let siblings sleep in the same bed?

Shannon - posted on 05/24/2011 ( 224 moms have responded )

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My son is seven and we have just managed to get him to sleep in his own bed. But through the night, he gets in to his sisters bed. We've spoken about it and his reasons are that he is scared. We've talked to him and soothed him as much as we can, but he still continues to do it. I don't know if I should continue to let this happen. Do you think it is it ok?

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Mikki - posted on 05/26/2011

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I would put a stop to it at about the age of 9 that seems to be the age when they get a little too courious about the other

Jessica - posted on 05/26/2011

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I have a 7 yr old daughter and a 5 yr old son. My son has issues sleeping by hiself, i personally dont think it is a issue my children do it. when i was a kid my baby brother would start off in his bed and by morning he was in bed with me. as long as the other sibling doesnt care i dont see an issue

Courtney - posted on 05/26/2011

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I think it is more than ok - it is great! It is a great way for them to bond and feel close to each other, and good for you to get a break from him always wanting you when he is scared.

I also disagree with the caveat that it is ok "at this age." Sure some day they will be older and when the go through puberty they might feel embarrased about their bodies and likely won't get along well - and then it would be their choice to no longer sleep in bed together. But I don't see why you would need to force the issue either way. It sounds as if some people think something inappropriate would happen, but I think that is crazy. they are siblings.
there are some cultures where family members sleep in the same bed at all ages or even bath together, and that doesn't imply inappropriate or sexual behavior.

obviously just my 2 cents, but i think it is great!

Karen - posted on 05/26/2011

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when my daughter was little....(her older sister by 2 years died when the littlest one was barely 2) she would come into our room at night. We put a sleeping bag on the floor and told her she could wake us up, but she couldn't crawl into bed with us. She was fine with falling asleep on the sleeping bag next to the bed.
I shared a sofa bed with my youngest brother when I was 12 (9 years difference) only because we didn't have the room....3 adults and 6 kids in one tiny mobile home. We grew up okay. (however, I never allowed my son and daughters to share a bed...they shared a room at one point, but never a bed. Always had their own beds in the same room.)

Laura - posted on 05/26/2011

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I think at this age it is more than okay. Once he starts going through puberty though, then it may be time to separate them. I had numerous friends that shared beds growing up, mostly for space reasons, but I'm sure it comforted them as well.

Tracy - posted on 05/26/2011

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I think they are fine. However, it sounds like your son though saying he is scared might just be a light sleeper and the littlest of noises wakes him...making him think of the "scary" things. I would actually try putting a fan in his room to drown out any noises. This worked for both of my boys. Good Luck:)

Arianna - posted on 05/26/2011

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my situation may be a little different, but I shared a bed with my older brother when I was 16 (he was 19), BUT we did share a bed, even if just for a couple hours.........he would go to bed right after dinner because he had to get up at 3 to go to work, and I would stay up til 9 or 10, but we could cuddle, even in our late teens.....and I am much closer to him than I am my younger brothers

Nancy - posted on 05/26/2011

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My sons are 11 and 6 and they both ask each other, nights they don't want to be alone, if they can sleep in the others bed. They tend to sleep better and I don't worry about it. I know it's because they feel more comfortable.

Nichola - posted on 05/26/2011

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I have an 8 year old boy and a 12 year old daughter who still like to get in bed together to watch a film or cuddle up because my little one has had a bad dream or has found a spider in his room! I wouldn't make an issue of it. As they get older and become teenagers, the likelihood is they will despise each other and then come the arguments...'get out of my room'! etc (doors slamming and so on!! x

Blackwood - posted on 05/25/2011

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I personally don't see it an issue at that age, I think it becomes an issue when children start to mature and may get embarrassed over sleeping in the same bed. I know that in some states thier are "law" about children sharing rooms if opposite sex. But I personally don't see an issue with it? What are your concerns about him and his sister sharing a bed. Remember they are still at a very innocent age.

Kelly - posted on 05/25/2011

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Just talking to my mum then, she suggested putting them in the same room in their own beds. So that he's not alone. If your daughter doesnt mind. Incentive to do this could be having a whole new toy room. But it would mean he's not alone. And then later when he's ready you can swap them back and give them their own rooms again.

Kelly - posted on 05/25/2011

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I did that. It was a different persons bed everynight til i was about 9 and then my brother and sisters started moving out and I settled a bit. Still into mums bed every couple of nights, til my little sister was born when I was 11 (my brother is a year younger). After they where born, I started bringing them into my bed instead :). Both my brother and sister (12 and 13 now) are still known to crawl into bed with me when they're sick/can't sleep. It hasn't made any difference to us. If anything we're closer than we would'v been. I had a friend who used to crawl into her sisters bed on a regular basis too until she movedout at 21. So I don't see any real harm in it.

Bevely - posted on 05/25/2011

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LOL, this brings back memories. I had this problem as a child. My brother started sleeping in my bed when he was about 3 and I was 11, he slept with me most nights until I moved out of the house at 19. And I had a twin size bed. It was okay with me, a little uncomfortable, lots of nights we would play musical beds, I would end up in his bed, then he would end up in that bed with me. But as long as his sister doesn't mind I don't see the big deal. Today my daughter 9 will sleep in my son's 7 room, but he has bunk beds, so they end up in different beds.

Shannon - posted on 05/25/2011

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thankyou ladies, I am breathing more freely now. We have asked my son why he is scared, and he comes out with all sorts, from the draws, the aircon shaft, toys, curtains, so on. But he has always slept with me from birth up until about 2 yrs ago when we first started to get him sleeping in his own bed, and thru the night he would go to his sisters room or in ours when Dad is at work. All comments have been very helpful and encouraging. Iam able to breathe easy now nowing that it is ok. Thankyou all.

Michelle - posted on 05/24/2011

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My 6 y/o was doing the same thing. While i don't think it is wrong for them to bunk up i do know that it was effecting my 8 y/o type of sleep and also his behavior at school. The 6 y/o told me he would wake up because he was having nightmares and that is why he would get into his brother's bed. I took him to a naturopath who said to make sure he had no sugar in the late afternoon up to bed time and also put him on a calcium/magnesium tablet which helps to calm the mind. It's called "Be Calm". Since taking these tablets and cutting out the sugar he now sleeps through the night and wakes in his own bed. His brother is also doing better in school concentrating etc and even their teachers have commented on the change in both of them. Just a thought. Maybe your son is having nightmares but doesn't know what to call them. Hope this helps.

Jenn - posted on 05/24/2011

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I don't think he's too old at all! As long as your children are getting enough rest and your daughter doesn't complain, they can certainly find comfort with each other. That's what siblings do! If your son co-slept then he most definitely will need time to adjust and he'll eventually be okay on his own but until then snuggling with his sibling is perfectly normal!

[deleted account]

I agree with the other ladies as long as both the brother and sister are ok with it then there isn't really a problem - my brother and I sometimes shared a bed when we were kids/ teens because we were watching a movie and fell asleep. We have both grown up perfectly normal :-)

I would ask him why he is scared though because he shouldn't feel scared in his own bed - and then when you know what is scaring him you can help him deal with it.

Heather - posted on 05/24/2011

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i see absolutely no problem with it. It will increase bonding among siblings, decrease sibling rivlery, increase comfort and amnt of sleep everyone is getting. As long is it is OK with the brother and sister then there is no problem in my eyes.

[deleted account]

As long as they can both sleep and are both ok w/ it.... sure. It's a little different for me since my oldest 2 are both girls (and twins), but at 9 there are STILL nights that I find them wrapped around each other like they did when they were little. :)

JuLeah - posted on 05/24/2011

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Why not? I know kids that grew up in a family with a lot of kids, and all shared a bed. Sometimes sleeping 4 to a bed, if they could fit them in.

Medic - posted on 05/24/2011

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My brother is 5 years older than me and the other one is a year younger than me and even when we were teens we would crash in the same bed just because we were watching movies or what not. I personally do not think it is a big deal as long as his sister doesn't care.

Renee - posted on 05/24/2011

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but at that age he is getting abit to big to be sharing a bed with his sister,, my son was the same he kept getting in to bed with me but try getting him something like a teddy bear or a special blanket he can sleep with and tell him nothing will happen if he has it that might help or try a night light in his room but you need to make it clear to him it is not ok for him to be doing it also try to find out what it is he is scared of cause if you know what it is you know what you have to work with

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