Is it ok to use birth control for health reasons only, or is it non Christian?

West - posted on 04/16/2012 ( 15 moms have responded )

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Hello I am a 25 year old mother of five. Since the year 2004 I have either had a baby, just gotten pregnant, or had a miscarriage. I actually don't mind having another child but my last pregnancy in 2011 left me in really bad health. My last two pregnancies actually. Since 2010 I've had my gallbladder removed and underarm surgery two c-sectons and other problems. I had gestational diabetes and preeclamsia with the las pregnancy. My youngest is five months old now and I sitll have high blood pressure and chronic severe swelling. I have gained 100 pounds and have not been able to lose due to always being pregnant. My husband wants 10 kids and he doesnt seem to care about my health concerns. He says God is in control and he won't let me get pregnant while I'm ill. I am a devout Christian and I trust in God to take care of me which he always has but I just want to heal properly. My husband refuses to use comdoms or help me in anyway, He keeps pressuring me about sex and I don't want to caused I'm afraid of pregnancy. This has caused strain in my marriage and I dont know what to do. please give me some insight from a Christian point of view. Look forward to h=reading your responses Thank you very much God bless.

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Alison - posted on 04/16/2012

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To answer your question... taking medication for health reasons is not a sin.



I have learned in 8 years of marriage that birth control is going to have to be MY responsibility. My husband will not make it a priority.



God has given you the means to protect your health so you can meet the needs of your 5 children. To trust God as a form of birth control is, in my opinion, naive.



If your husband is opposed to birth control, there are methods (such as injections or an IUD) that you can use without him knowing. God has entrusted you with the lives of these children. You need to do what you can to ensure you have the means to take care of them. - take care of yourself!

Krista - posted on 04/17/2012

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Oh honey...I wish there was something I could say to help you. I just can't believe that your God would want you to suffer so, when it's so easily preventable.

Ask your doctor about IUDs and the shot. Don't listen to "nightmares" or rumours -- listen to good, solid medical advice. You're so young, but having so many babies in such a short time is shortening your life. And even if your church doesn't believe in birth control, I would hope that not all of the men in there were as inconsiderate and uncaring towards their wives' health as yours is to you.

And yes, Biblically, you are supposed to be submissive towards your husband. But he's not holding up his end of the bargain. Ephesians 5:25 says "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". Is your husband making sacrifices and being selfless for you, as Christ did for the church? No, he is not. Peter 3:7 says "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." Is he being understanding and showing you honour? No, he is not. Colossians 3:19 says "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." But he is being harsh with you by pressuring you for sex and by utterly disregarding your health issues. And lastly, Ephesians 5:28 says "In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Would he be willing to put his OWN body through all of this? No? Then he should not be asking that of you.

Dove - posted on 04/17/2012

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I don't feel that a good Christian man would put his own desires over the health of his wife... or be pressuring you about sex.



I too believe that God is in control. I also believe that He created people smart enough to develop ways of preventing pregnancy when it is in a person's best interest to not get pregnant. If your uncomfortable w/ certain forms of birth control and your husband won't use a condom, maybe do some research into natural family planning. I'd also seek counseling from a Christian counselor that is not 100% against all forms of birth control for you AND your husband to speak to.

Katrina - posted on 04/17/2012

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My husband and I are Christians, we have two girls (5 &3), and I have the Implanon in my arm.



At this stage, we have the children that we WANT so we have the contraception. Maybe sometime in the future, we will talk about having more kids, but not right now.



My belief is that if GOD wants us to have more kids (who would be welcomed if they came) before we had made our own decision on it, He would cause my contraception to fail. My God created the world, parted the Red Sea, and rose from the dead. I think a small stick in my arm is no great feat for Him. For anyone who says that contraception is against God's wishes, in my mind, they are limiting His power and there is no limit to His power.



With contraception, it is God's choice if we have more children.

Alison - posted on 04/18/2012

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Don't let your church make these decisions for you. You need to act on your own convictions because the direct impact is on you and your family. The Bible does not clearly state that birth control is ungodly. This is an interpretation from men. I will pray that God will guide you and your husband through this decision.

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West - posted on 04/18/2012

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Thank you Katrina that is my whole point to my husband. If God really wants me to get pregnant , a man made device won't hinder that. Krista E I agree I just gave him those scriptures myself I told him he's suspose to love me as Christ loves the church not as Chris loves the church. Thanks ladies

Krista - posted on 04/17/2012

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Katrina brings up an excellent point. A lot of Christians are of the viewpoint that if God truly wants you to have more children, birth control is most certainly not going to stop him.

Either way, I don't think your husband is going to wind up with 10 kids. Not unless you adopt. And perhaps you and he could look at this as a sign from your God that you need to look at the idea of having a large family by way of providing a home to some children who desperately need them.

Linda - posted on 04/17/2012

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I am a Christian, and I do believe that God is in control. However, God has also given us wisdom and knowledge in this area. You have many health issues and it sounds like a pregnancy could be very dangerous for you at this time. Despite your husband's seeming lack of caring in this area, I do NOT think you should do anything behind his back. That is not helpful to the marriage...which after all should come before the children. You and your husband need to go to counseling and FAST. This is an important issue that you need to work out between the two of you. The one poster was correct in that he needs to think about what he is going to do if he is left alone with the five children. I understand the thought process of your church, and some families (who I know) do very well with 10 or more children. However, not everyone can do that physically.



Also, pray about this issue. Pray alone and also pray with your husband. God is able to bring you into agreement on this issue. Perhaps even if he agrees to delay childbearing for a couple years until your health is improved, that will be a good compromise. God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine! (Ephesians 3:20)

Krista - posted on 04/17/2012

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By the way, I'll admit that I'm coming from a position of ignorance, as I am not actually a Christian. But as a woman, my heart is breaking for you and your situation. However, I will post a link to a Christian group on this site. These women are devout, and I don't doubt that they will have a lot of good wisdom for you.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/christian-mo...

West - posted on 04/17/2012

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The church we're apart of believes in no birth control and all thr women have many kids. I wanna get the shot but I'm already obese and many women have told me that it makes you gain weight. I've heard nightmares about IUDs so Im afraid to try it. I have a docs appt on Monday for a pregnancy test and if I not pregnant I'm getting the shot probably.

Krista - posted on 04/17/2012

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I agree with the others. Your husband sounds like he is very uncaring about your health, when he is supposed to be respecting and cherishing you.

I know that a lot of Christian families use natural family planning, but that only works if the husband is willing to be respectful of the wife's cycle, and it doesn't sound like that's the case here.

Do you have a pastor, or a church elder who you believe would be sympathetic, who could talk to your husband? Some men, sadly, will only really listen if the words come from another man. In the meantime, I think you need to go see your doctor and get some birth control. I can't recommend a specific type, due to your health issues.

Louise - posted on 04/17/2012

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I think your husband is being very unfair. You should remind him that if anything happends to you he will be left raising 5 kids on his own. If you do not want any more children and you do not want to tell your husband then have the injection this way he will not know you are protecting yourself and your children. 5 children in such a short space of time is a lot and I really feel that you should give your body time to heal properly, sort out your health issues and then if you want more children have some more.

You as a woman have done what God put us on the earth to do have a family, now he would want you to raise them in his name. He would not want you to put your life at risk to have more.

Elfrieda - posted on 04/16/2012

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I'm a Christian and have used birth control pills for no other reason than we didn't want to have kids yet. Your husband does not sound very caring. I wonder if you can talk to your pastor or priest or whatever and get him to talk to your husband and knock some sense into him. I've heard that some Catholics don't believe in birth control, but I'll bet there could be exceptions made in your case, because it's really not healthy to have a baby every year and you're not healthy in any case.

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2012

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My doctor put me on birth control because after the birth of my second child I had severe dysmennorrhea. I had 6 periods in a 3 month period of time, basically I was bleeding more than I wasn't. After I had a month long period, he put me on constantly. I didn't want to go on it because of past fertility problems, but felt that my health was important. If I can't take care of myself, how can I take care of my kids? Personally, I believe that God puts certain people here to make certain things, and that the people who create birth control were put here because He wanted it to be available to those who choose it. For my own situation, I don't look at it as "birth control" though, I look at it as treatment for my medical condition.

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