Is it okay to let him cry?

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September - posted on 10/22/2009

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The important thing is for mom to have her sanity. If you've tried everything like feeding, burping, changing, temperature check and baby is still crying, it's definitely ok to walk away for a moment. If you put baby down in a safe place like a crib or playpen or something and need a moment for your sanity, DO IT! No one can be super mom, even on their best days. Also, babies can pick up on stress vibes from mom. If you need a moment to sip a cool beverage, take a moment to check your email, take a shower, etc., you can't help but calm down and will come back to baby with a much more relaxed vibe, and the crying will wear baby out a little. Then when you pick up baby to cuddle, sometimes they go right to sleep because now they are tired and being cuddled by their favorite person. You might even be able to try a pacifier at this point, unless you object to them. Honestly, most babies can't cry longer than 20 minutes unless something is really wrong and then seek professional help. But, if baby is just a little cranky, it doesn't last forever, even though it seems like it. The best thing for baby is a calm, happy mommy. So don't push yourself past what you can handle. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help! A parent, friend, spouse, etc., can take a turn with a crying little one and help keep mom's sanity in tact. Eventually, baby will grow out of the crying-all-the-time phase, especially as his body language develops and you can more easily decide what baby wants. I know in the moment it seems never ending and insurmountable, but you can do it! Hang in there! I'm sure you do a fabulous job because of the concern you show just by asking your question!! I believe in you!

Andrea - posted on 10/22/2009

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Yes it is okay for a little while, but if you r going crazy there is a problem. It could be the formula or breast milk. If your breast feeding an d it continues you should go to the dr. If its the formula try something a little lighter on the system.

[deleted account]

Yup! Babies will eat, sleep, CRY A LOT and steal your heart for the first few months. With time he will eat more, sleep less, cry less, start winning and steal your heart a lot more often :) Your son will test you through out his life, no doubt about it. First few months he is testing different ways of getting what he wants. If he always gets what he wants mostly when he cries (including your attention) that's how he will learn to ask for things. As long as he doesn't choke up on his crying he will be fine. Train your mind to take in your baby's crying as soothing sounds... I know weird! Very soon you will learn to recognize the difference in cries:pain, hunger, tired, "just want to cry". Hang in there.

Kelli - posted on 10/22/2009

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Hang in there sweetie. I posted to your other forum as well. Are you breast feeding or using formula? Learn the colic football hold (baby head at your elbow or in your hand, tummy down, look at google images for colic hold if you need to). I hope this helps and please make sure you get some time for yourself, if you feel yourself getting really frustrated don't be afraid to ask a family member or friend for help. And yes it is okay to let them cry but make sure you reassure them you are there. The other mom that posted said it the best.

Natasha - posted on 10/22/2009

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My personal opinion is yes. But NEVER let him get hysterical! This is no good for a baby as it stresses them out and makes the whole thing worse for both of you! Just try leaving him for a few minutes at a time then going back in and patting him and reassuring him that you are still there. Do this until he falls asleep. Best of luck!

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